REGISTER HERE: May 9, 2024 PEACEMAKER AWARDS

Child Emotional Development

Teaching Empathy to Kids and Teenagers

Effects of Social Isolation on Children

Teaching Emotional Intelligence

Goal Setting for Students

Sources:

APA, Harvard.edu, Open Access Government, Psycom, Understood, Washington Post

Centering Black Voices

The truth is we are all equal… The reality is we are not. ~Dr. Leticia Nieto

Sweet community,

In the history of Soul Shoppe, our Black and African-American staff have experienced racism – from being questioned about their purpose on campus from both staff and parents, to racist remarks from teachers, to the dismissal of comments and feedback.

When forming a response to the tragic deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, here’s what our staff have to say.

What do we want our young people to learn during this time?

A seed can only produce that from which it comes. What seeds are we planting into the minds and hearts of our young people? We have to be sure the fertile hearts and minds of our children are sown with love, peace and respect for all humans, if we ever hope to produce a world that bears the same. Soul Shoppe teaches kids to Stop & Breathe in the face of fiery feelings, but we also know things happen in our communities that make it much harder for People of Color to breathe than others. This systemic oppression has a direct impact on the students we serve. We are an organization that facilitates essential tools of the heart, such as mindfulness, empathy, restoration, and “anti-bullying”. In October, we shared the definition of bullying: Bullying involves a power differential, has occurred consistently at least three times, and is intentionally meant to hurt or harm at least one of the individuals or communities involved. What happened to George Floyd and continues to happen to the Black community is beyond bullying, it is a revolting and repulsive display of hostility and disregard for human life and goes against everything our organization believes in and teaches.

In the Stop & Breathe tool, we take the moment to

exercise our power to STOP and
allow one another the rights to BREATHE as a living human being
to THINK as an individual then
CHOOSE to unite on one peaceful accord
to ACT in the best interest of the entire human race.

We invite you to embrace any or all parts of our Stop & Breathe tool throughout the coming weeks to enhance your choices and actions.

We stand with our African AMERICAN citizens in defeating the ongoing oppression, unfair treatment, and social injustice to bring love, compassion, understanding and dignity to all.

With deep care,

The Soul Shoppe Staff

Resources lists we recommend: Center for Racial Justice: Resources for talking about Race, Racism, and Racialized violence with Kids Your Kids Aren’t Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Roundup

Child Emotional Development

When we think of children developing skills, our thoughts often drift to milestones such as learning to ride a bike or acing their first test. However, children need more than physical achievements to thrive in life. Child emotional development includes several skills that help children understand themselves and others better. These skills help them navigate life in a fulfilling way. Furthermore, these skills promote future success well into adulthood.

What is Social and Emotional Development?

Social and emotional development refers to a child’s experience and expression of emotions and how they manage them. It also includes the ability to establish positive and rewarding relationships (Cohen and others 2005).

Social and emotional development is crucial in the first five years of life. However, emotional development continues well into adolescence.

Why is Teaching Child Emotional Development Valuable?

Nurturing a child’s emotional development helps to promote future happiness and success. Studies have shown that teaching emotional development improves students’ social and emotional skills and behaviors. Furthermore, it positively affects classroom organization, classroom management, and more.

4 Skills of Emotional Learning

Emotional development leads to five important skills, according to the National Center for Safe and Supportive Learning Environments. These include: emotional regulation, self and social awareness, learning how to establish positive relationships, and good decision making. These skills are vital to the success of children and adolescents.

Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is an essential part of development. It is defined as “The ability to exert control over one’s own emotional state. It may involve behaviors such as rethinking a challenging situation to reduce anger or anxiety, hiding visible signs of sadness or fear, or focusing on reasons to feel happy or calm” (PsychologyToday). Emotional regulation is critical to children’s relationships with themselves and others. Those that don’t have this type of regulation often experience emotional outbursts and isolation. It can also lead to depression and self-harming behaviors. However, it is a teachable skill. Through workshops and lessons in the classroom, we can teach children how to regulate emotions and have control over their thoughts and feelings.

Self and Social Awareness

Learning self-awareness is a critical aspect of emotional development. Self-awareness helps children acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses. This allows them to actively participate in their own success.

Self-aware children typically have more social awareness. Social awareness is the ability to have empathy for others. This leads to understanding the perspective of other cultures and social groups. Both self-awareness and social awareness are vital to the growth of each child and help children grow up to be conscientious adults.

Learning How To Have Positive Relationships

When children learn self and social awareness, they are better able to experience positive relationships. Building positive relationships encompasses several skills. One key aspect is knowing how to express emotions appropriately. At the same time, children need to learn how to respond to others with empathy. Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand the feelings of another.

Other skills children need to learn when building positive relationships include how to:

make friends
respond to conflict in a relationship
listen to others
give and receive feedback

These are just a few of the wide array of skills needed to build and maintain relationships. Successful relationships and rich social lives produce lasting benefits throughout life.

Good Decision Making

We tend to think good decision-making skills are developed through “trial and error.” However, that is a fallacy. Good decision-making is more than learning from successes and failures. It is a way of thinking about making decisions before a consequence occurs. This skill involves teaching children how to identify the problem, and possible solutions and consequences. By thinking critically about decision-making, they can make better choices.

Good decision-making affects children well throughout childhood and helps them to become more responsible and self-confident.

What are the Emotional Development Stages?

Early Childhood Emotional Development

Social and emotional development occurs rapidly in the first five years of life. This time of development is essential to the ultimate happiness and well-being of children.

In the early stages of child emotional development, children begin to learn self-awareness. In addition, they start exploring how to express emotions. They also learn how to interact with others. Furthermore, they learn how to safely explore their environment. In the early stages, children look to others to learn social cues. These cues help them navigate how to respond and play with others.

These building blocks of emotional development in early childhood are nurtured through positive reinforcement.

Elementary and Middle School Emotional Development

Between the ages of 5-13 emotional development progresses to include more self-regulation, problem-solving, social awareness, and more.

The child emotional development stages are listed below. Note that the time frame may be different for each child: (Source: Child-Encyclopedia).

Early Elementary (K-2nd Grade)

Learning how to fit in with other children
Continuing to learn self regulation
Learning self conscious emotions (such as embarrassment)
Needing support from adults but growing their self reliance skills

Middle Elementary (3rd-5th Grade)

Increased problem solving skills
Distancing self from adults and becoming more peer focused
Focus on problem solving
Understanding of multiple emotional states in the same person
Typically following norms for behavior

Middle School (6-8th grade)

Increased dependence on peers
Focus on social awareness and roles
Learning how to differentiate between close friends and acquaintances
Becoming more fluent in problem solving with multiple solutions
Increased emotional empathy
Learning impression management

High School

Learning how to communicate emotions and thoughts effectively
Becoming more proficient with impression management
Character integration and moral development
Increased self awareness, particularly emotional awareness

Conclusion

We can increase children’s emotional intelligence to provide them with a better quality of life. Self-confidence, better relationships, and resilience can all be achieved through emotional development. When children are emotionally resilient, they can manage adversity and difficult times. In addition, research has demonstrated that intervening in children’s emotional development has a positive impact on their academic success. Whichever stage of emotional development children are in, there are appropriate lessons and support.

Soul Shoppe has workshops dedicated to the mission of creating safe learning environments. They help eliminate bullying, as well as teach empathy, emotional literacy skills, and conflict resolution. Learn more about social emotional learning for elementary students and social emotional development for middle school programs.

You May Also Like:

Teaching Empathy to Kids and Teenagers

Building Emotional Resilience in Kids

Mindfulness in the Classroom

Acceptance vs Tolerance

Sources:

Child-Encyclopedia, HelpMeGrow, PsychologyToday, Rasmussen, Understood, WorldBank, BeYou.edu

Confidence-Building Activities for Kids

Among the highest goals of education is preparing children for rewarding lives and success in whatever field they choose. A large part of that comes from instilling a sense of confidence and faith in their own value. Because confidence is such an important life skill, it’s a good idea to incorporate confidence-building activities for kids into classroom curriculum.

Confidence-Building Activities for Kids

When creating confidence-building activities for kids, the unique personalities within a class will inform the development of the curriculum. At the same time, there are quite a few fundamentally useful thoughts to help you get started.

How to Build Self-Confidence in a Child

Mom with child cooking - confidence-building activities

Self-confidence comes from several sources. Some learn how to be confident at home, and others from external accomplishments. Additionally, some children develop confidence more easily than others. In a classroom setting, understanding confidence as a teachable skill means approaching it directly, instead of trusting that it will come as a result of other experiences. Techniques indicating how to build self-confidence in a child begin with lessons in self-sufficiency. (Harvard)

For instance, when small children are provided with opportunities to be “big kids,” it shows them how to take responsibility and achieve growth. If children have choices for how they dress or decorate their spaces, or, if they are encouraged to ask questions when shopping or on field trips, then they have the chance to practice forming their own opinions and seeing those opinions rewarded with respect. Ultimately, autonomy and a sense of accomplishment can occur through choices and opportunities. This can lead to confidence.

Another example of this is introducing a chore chart. Chore charts are valuable learning tools from the earliest ages. If children get to participate in the upkeep of their space, especially if that upkeep is part of a community effort, then it gives children the opportunity to understand that their actions affect their environments, and at the same time they can intentionally change their environments. When children understand they can improve their world with purpose, they gain confidence.

You can design activities to boost a child’s sense of self-worth and self-sufficiency. When deciding how to build self-confidence in a child, there are many possible activities that educators can implement.

Classroom Activities to Build Self-Esteem

Designing classroom activities to build self-esteem will depend on the specific needs of the students in the classroom. That being said, there are plenty of fun games to boost self-esteem that an educator can use as a template to begin planning their own classroom activities.

Here are some self-confidence activities for students:

Letter to yourself- In this activity, students will write a letter to themselves. Either to their future self or to their past self. Or, they can write a thank you note to themselves right now. The essence of this activity is to provide children with the tools to look at themselves with an encouraging eye and constructive self-critique.
Gratitude journaling- In this activity, students will make regular entries into a notebook with the sole purpose of appreciating something about themselves or the world around them at a regular interval, such as every day or every week. Part of building a child’s self-esteem includes introducing the habit of believing positive things about themselves. Additionally, when children regularly note positive things around them, it can create a habit of gratitude and positive thinking.
Goals journaling- Accomplishment in all its forms can contribute to confidence. A helpful activity is for students to regularly update a journal in which they write down the goals they would like to achieve in their lives. They should then note what kind of progress they have made in achieving those goals. As a bonus, incorporate a reward system when they achieve their personal goals.
Cooperative board games- A sense of self-worth can come from feeling like you are a valuable member of the community. Children can feel empowered when they can see how their contributions improve their team. Cooperative games can also provide valuable self-reflection opportunities when children work with each other to accomplish common goals.
Achievements collage or journal- When students can see evidence of what they’ve accomplished it can boost their self-confidence. They can create a collage of pictures or drawings. Older students can also create lists. Helping students to get into the habit of seeing the results of their achievements can help their self-confidence improve.

Building confidence is a skill that requires attention and nurturing. Children might not have the benefit of acquiring confidence elsewhere. Therefore, implementing ways to build self-confidence in the classroom gives students an advantage in academics as well as in life. People who are confident generally perform better at tasks, and they thrive in the workforce as they get older. (Chron)

Soul Shoppe provides online SEL programs such as building self-confidence, respecting differences, and more. Soul Shoppe encourages empathy and emotional awareness in children. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools or our parent support programs.

Conflict Resolution For Kids

Conflict resolution education is the act of instilling problem-solving skills in children who are in a dispute. Teaching children about conflict helps them to identify problems. It also helps them choose the best solutions on their own.

A good place to start is demonstrating that problems start small and tend to grow. Teaching them to identify problems as soon as they take place makes it easier for kids to quickly overcome the obstacles they face.

Sometimes problems may go unnoticed in the early stages. This can lead to emotions becoming more intense. Therefore, it is important to teach children about their feelings. Having them identify their own emotions will also enable them to understand the emotions of others around them.

In cases where conflict has snowballed into a large problem, it is imperative that children understand responsibility as well as compromise. Knowing that conflict is a two-way street will encourage kids to act and will enable them to preserve their friendships when things go wrong. Practicing compromise will also help to resolve conflicts where children are not destined to be the best of friends. This will help create a peaceful environment and a productive learning space for everyone.

Occasionally two students will not be able to come to a satisfactory conclusion with their problem. There will be times, even though we want them to figure it out on their own, when adults have to step in and guide them further. Reassure your kids and students that they are able to talk to you about their problems.

Conflict Resolution Strategies in the Classroom

Students need to find strategies for resolving different forms of disagreement. Four major conflict resolution strategies identified by educators are: mediation, process curriculum, peaceable classrooms, and peaceable schools.

Mediation

Many schools use peer mediation programs to reduce conflict. Students have the opportunity to talk through conflicts with trained students or adult mediators. Mediation programs are put in place to reduce punishments such as suspension or detention. Learn about Soul Shoppe’s Peacemakers program.

Process Curriculum

Some schools dedicate an entire course to conflict resolution. This is called process curriculum. It introduces problem scenarios before a conflict ever arises.

Peaceable Classrooms

Peaceable classrooms integrate conflict resolution into the classroom daily through classroom management and daily tasks. This is not a separate curriculum but brings a lifestyle approach to teaching conflict resolution. This approach reinforces cooperation and the acceptance of diversity. It also teaches caring and effective communication.

Peaceable Schools

In peaceable schools, all three of the above approaches are implemented. Everyone in the school including teachers, students, and administrators work together to remain proactive about conflict.

These four conflict resolution strategies work together to reduce school absences, decrease referrals and suspensions while increasing self-confidence and self-respect among students.

Conflict Resolution Activities for Kids

Conflict resolution for kids can also be fun. Here are some easy activities to get kids thinking and learning about conflict resolution:

Brainstorm solutions to specific conflicts with your kids. Preparation will help them when any conflict arises. It will also help you gauge how much work you need to do to develop a child’s conflict resolution skills.
Fill a mason jar full of popsicle sticks with solutions to problems. When a child is finding it difficult to find a way to resolve their issues, they can take a stick from the jar and try that. Kids will learn to think on their feet and use the jar less over time.
Create stories individually or in groups. Ask the kids to think about a story that involves conflict and an ending with a solution. They can present the stories to the rest of the class or to their siblings if done at home.

Tip: Reward good conflict resolution by sending a letter home or by creating a gold-star chart.

Conflict Resolution Games for Kids

playground - conflict resolution for kids

Gamifying a child’s learning is a good way to create a rewarding environment that will help to create a lasting impact. Here are some ideas you can use in the classroom or at home:

Role-playing is a fun way for children to safely engage in conflict situations. This can be done with each other or with an adult for more challenging conflict scenarios.
Create a simple game of pairs where children have to match the conflict to the solution.
Play problem-solving baseball. This game is great for more complex conflict situations. Start with the conflict and then work through each base until they reach the solution.

Conflict resolution for kids is imperative for social and emotional success. Soul Shoppe provides conflict resolution training for educators through our Peacemakers program. The Peacemakers program aims to create schools where children are empathetic and peace thrives.

You May Also Like:

Building Community in the Classroom

Teaching Empathy to Kids

Building Emotional Resilience in Kids

Listening Skills Activities

Sources: PBS.org, Rutgers.edu, Childmind.org, Proudtobeprimary.com

Cooperative Games for Kids

Anyone who spends time with children understands that play is more than a frivolous pastime. It’s the work of childhood. Work through which the next generation learns skills like effective communication, conflict resolution, problem-solving, and cooperation.

In this article, we discuss learning through play, cooperative play, and provide examples of cooperative games for kids that can be used in the classroom.

Cooperative Games for Kids

The Six Stages of Play

American sociologist and researcher, Mildred Parten, dedicated much of her career to studying the art of play. As a result of her research, Parten identified six stages of play through which most children progress. She was careful to note that each child is unique and can progress at different rates. Even so, the stages do tend to follow one another eventually.

The six stages of play, as outlined in a study by Michigan State University include the following:

1. Unoccupied play (0-3 months)

Unoccupied play is that which we observe in babies or young children. In this stage, children explore materials around them in an unorganized fashion. The focus of this stage is learning how the world works.

2. Solitary play (0-2 years)

During this stage children are content to entertain themselves. The main skills they acquire as they are preparing to play with other children are new motor and cognitive skills.

3. Onlooker play (2 years)

Children involved in onlooker play are actively watching others. As they observe, children learn about the social rules of play and relationships–rules they will eventually employ when they feel ready to jump in for themselves.

4. Parallel play (2-3 years)

This play occurs when children play side-by-side but aren’t interacting with one another’s games. This stage does not include social engagement but it does teach children further social skills and gives them a framework for inviting others into their play in the future.

5. Associative play (3-4 years)

During this stage, children shift their focus from activities or objects of play to other players in the game. The focus of this stage is practicing what they’ve learned through observing others and building social skills with other children or adults.

6. Cooperative play (4+ years)

This is play categorized by cooperative efforts between players. Children become interested in both the game and the players. To this end, they begin to communicate desired outcomes and collaborate toward a common goal while understanding that each person has a distinct role to play.

The way our children learn to play is an excellent example of the constructivist theory of education. This theory is based on the idea that learners build on their existing knowledge to learn new information. As such, cooperative play is not only a capstone achievement for our students, it is also a catalyst from which they can grow into healthy adults and effective members of society.

The skills children derive from cooperative play that, in turn, provide the crucial foundation upon which they build future success include working together to achieve a common goal, developing the ability to problem-solve, sharing and exploring ideas, speaking and listening, and improving social, mental, emotional, and physical agility.

Additionally, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, a professor of psychology at Temple University and co-author of Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children with Roberta Golinkoff, breaks down the skills kids need to succeed with the “six C’s,” which include— collaboration, communication, content, critical thinking, creative innovation, and confidence (NPR). Cooperative play helps children to learn these C’s.

Examples of Cooperative Games for Kids

Teacher with class - cooperative games for kids

Chief among cooperative games for kids are those that teach team-building skills. To that end, we’ve compiled a list of team-building games that have been proven to build both confidence and skill. Those listed are mainly cooperative games for the classroom but can also be adapted for online learning.

Here are our top five cooperative games for kids from various resources:

Classification (WeAreTeachers)

Set-Up: For this activity, prepare a tray with 20 unrelated items. For example, a spool of thread, an eraser, a juice box, etc. Once you’ve selected your items, create a document with 20 images of your selected items to put up on the screen. Divide your class into even groups.

Instructions: Set a timer and have each group divide the 20 items into four categories that make sense to them. For example, they may put an earring, a glove, a headset, a sock, and a smile into the category “things you wear.” Have groups work quietly so that their ideas are kept secret. When the time is up, give each group time to present their categories and the rationale behind each category.

Connect This (Teachhub)

Set-Up: Provide each team with four different images and ask students to come up with a short story that connects all the objects together. For example, the images can be a person, an object, a location, etc.

Instructions: Give students about 15-20 minutes to discuss and come up with a story, then present their story to the class.

Guided Reciprocal Peer Questioning (The University of Tennessee Chattanooga)

The goal of this activity is to generate discussion among student groups about a specific topic or content area.

Set-Up: Faculty conducts a brief (10-15 minutes) lecture on a topic or content area. Faculty may assign a reading or written assignment as well. The instructor gives the students a set of generic question stems. Question stems help students to come up with or write questions about a text or topic.

Instructions: Students work individually to write their own questions based on the material being covered. They do not have to be able to answer the questions they pose. This activity is designed to encourage students to think about ideas relevant to the content area. The students should use as many question stems as possible.

Grouped into learning teams, each student offers a question for discussion, using the different stems.

Sample question stems:

What is the main idea of…?

What if…?

How does…affect…?

What is a new example of…?

Explain why…?

Explain how…?

How does this relate to what I’ve learned before?

What conclusions can I draw about…?

What is the difference between… and…?

How are…and…similar?

How would I use…to…?

What are the strengths and weaknesses of…?

What is the best…and why?

Three-step Interview (University of Tennessee Chattanooga)

Three-step interviews can be used as an ice breaker for team members to get to know one another or can be used to get to know concepts in-depth, by assigning roles to students.

Set-Up: The teacher assigns roles or students can “play” themselves. Teachers may also give interview questions or information that should be “found.”

Student A interviews Student B for the specified number of minutes, listening attentively and asking probing questions.

At the teacher’s signal, students reverse roles and B interviews A for the same number of minutes. At a second signal, each pair turns to another pair, forming a group of four. Each member of the group introduces his or her partner, highlighting the most interesting points.

Share Experiences and Feelings (University of Central Arkansas)

Set-Up: The teacher selects a short video (10-15 minutes) on the topic of their choice. The topic should have some relevance to the lives of the students watching.

Instructions: When the video is over, organize students into groups and ask them to discuss the following questions:

What is my experience with [the topic]?
What are the major feelings associated with the experience?
Discuss how this affects our interactions with others.

At the teacher’s signal, the class comes together as a whole and one representative from each group shares the overall feelings expressed in the group. Once every group has been represented, the teacher can ask one debriefing question, “What are the implications of these experiences to you?” Or, for younger students, “How does understanding your classmates’ feelings about these experiences help you understand them better?”

Cooperative Games in the Classroom

As you plan to lead cooperative games for your students, be sure to choose games that are appropriate for their stage of development. Equipping our kids to engage with one another productively helps build healthy students, classrooms, and communities.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for elementary schools, parents, corporations, and more. We also provide a peacemaker program with both training and certification. View our online courses or contact us for more information here.

You May Also Like:

Conflict Resolution Activities for Kids

What Is Gratitude for Kids

Peace Corner

Self-Esteem Group Activities

Teaching Respect Activities

Creating An Inclusive Classroom

Educators might assume that their classrooms feel safe to all their students. However, creating an inclusive classroom requires active work and a plan.

Creating An Inclusive Classroom

The process of creating an inclusive classroom may come intuitively to some educators, while some features might be surprising. Actively creating an inclusive classroom requires educators and students alike to learn more about what’s going on in the lives of other people in order to more effectively create an inviting and inclusive classroom environment for children of all backgrounds.

To start, here are a few inclusive classroom examples to get educators thinking about nurturing a more inclusive classroom setting.

Inclusive Classroom Examples

Creating an inclusive classroom includes many different aspects of education. Active pursuit of fair-minded and empathy-driven educational practices requires a holistic approach to education and development. While in essence, inclusive education is as simple as being fair to everyone, like so many simple ideas it isn’t easy to implement.

So what does an inclusive classroom look like? According to Harvard University, educators have to, “Learn high-leverage Instructional Moves to make your classroom discussions more inclusive, student-centered, and purposeful.” (Harvard)

Here are some inclusive classroom examples to guide educators in their educational strategy (Harvard):

Active learning: It might sound only obliquely related, but the pursuit of active learning strategies and incorporating active learning techniques into curricula will promote an inclusive learning environment. This is because active learning promotes complex thought processes and active attempts to understand other perspectives and ways of thinking.
Growth mindset: The inability to accept alternative lifestyles tends to stem from a habit of seeing the world as restrictive and very much set in its ways. Promoting a growth mindset in the classroom enables students to see value in attempting to understand alternative perspectives.
Get to know your students: Not every fix will work the same for every student. An educator can create a curriculum designed to promote inclusiveness, and with the very best of intentions, they might neglect the tools necessary for some group that they themselves might never have encountered, for instance. It’s essential for educators to get to know their students and make adjustments to their inclusive classroom activities.
Build opportunities for work outside the classroom: The essential purpose of a classroom is to prepare students to succeed in life. However, there are other opportunities to grow ideas. Seek opportunities outside of the classroom to give students the chance to see how ideas work in the wild.
Group expectations and guidelines: In order to make the environment safe for all students, it’s important to communicate to all students why it’s important to create an inclusive learning environment for everyone.

Educators may have to ask, “What does an inclusive classroom look like?” The answer will vary from one classroom to the next. In principle, however, the characteristics of an inclusive classroom will include the opportunities for students to learn empathy and the tools for understanding different perspectives.

Inclusive Classroom Activities

An inclusive classroom often looks like a thoughtful classroom. The characteristics of an inclusive classroom create a sense that all perspectives, and therefore all students, are embraced and valued. There has to be a sense of belonging achieved through an active pursuit of learning the values and perspectives of all students.

In the pursuit of this strategy of active learning to create an inclusive learning environment, here are a few activities to get educators started (LSA):

Core Values Exercise

Students may have never expressed their values before. While they might not need to define their values to the precision that some adults decide to define theirs, creating a sense of inclusiveness in the classroom might be easier if students have the opportunity to express what they value. This can help them recognize that some people share their values, and some people don’t. The goals of this activity include:

Helping students determine their own values
Helping students appreciate diversity in values
Prompt discussion among students about values

How to do it:

Moderated in-class discussion

Dialogue Blocker Exercise

Classrooms are microcosms of the greater community, and community runs on effective communication. Sometimes listening and empathically responding during conversations is excluded. This exercise is meant to create a scenario where students can learn to recognize dialogue blockers, or communication strategies getting in the way of effective communication. In recognizing them, students are better able to avoid them. The goals of this activity include:

Helping students recognize dialogue blockers
Encourage students toward more introspection during conversation

How to do it:

Find an example from a book or show where a conversation was ineffective and left its participants dissatisfied with the results.
Through moderated discussion, lead students through the poor communication displayed and talk about possible improvements.

Name Story Exercise

student showing family drawing - creating an inclusive classroom

This inclusive classroom activity is designed to help students see each other and appreciate each other. At the same time, it gives every student the opportunity to feel like they have something inherently valuable about themselves that they can share with the class. The goals of this activity include:

Building community
Promoting a sense of diversity in the classroom

How to do it:

Give every student a chance to tell everyone their first, middle, and last names.
At the same time, every student has an opportunity to tell any story about their name that they know or like.

In addition, Soul Shoppe provides an online curriculum that can help promote inclusiveness and understanding within the classroom. Respect Differences, Tools of the Heart, and Allies Against Racism are all programs that help children overcome isolation and strengthen relationships. Find out more about Soul Shoppe’s SEL programs from elementary schools here.

Inclusive Classrooms in a Diverse World

Since every classroom and every set of students presents different needs and challenges, it may be necessary to design exercises more specific to a given classroom or set of students. Everyone comes from different backgrounds, and in order to prepare students for success in life, educators need to create inclusive classrooms to help students feel safe and connected.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs and can help you learn how to create a safe space in the classroom or at home. Soul Shoppe encourages empathy and emotional awareness in children. Click here to get into contact with us.

A Culture of Inclusion

A culture of inclusion is defined as creating and maintaining an environment in which people of different backgrounds can achieve their fullest potential (Harvard). It is a culture where different strengths are valued and celebrated. Whether in schools or in the workplace, building a culture of inclusion benefits both students/workers and the classroom/organization as a whole.

The Difference Between Diversity and a Culture of Inclusion

Though a culture of inclusion and diversity can sound similar, they are very different. You can have a diverse classroom or work environment and still not have a culture of inclusion. Diversity is simply referring to demographics. A culture of inclusion means that everyone is contributing their different voices, ideas and experiences to the overall classroom or workplace culture. This contribution supports a richer and more successful environment.

How to Create a Culture of Inclusion

Importance of Respect and Empathy

Empathy is a critical skill and a building block of creating a culture of diversity and inclusion. It is defined as the ability to emotionally understand the feelings of another. Commonly, it is described as being able to “walk in another person’s shoes.” This skill is necessary in order to create emotional growth, as well as a culture of compassion and connection. When people learn empathy, they are better able to respect other people’s thoughts, feelings, and world experiences. It is a transformative skill that changes our behaviors and the way we see others. Consequently, this is a strong focus of creating a culture of inclusion.

Culture of Inclusion in Schools

Creating a culture of inclusion in schools is important because it’s the main place young people will learn and emulate team behaviors. They are likely to carry these behaviors into the workforce and society as a whole. In addition, a culture of inclusion creates a safe classroom environment where children from all backgrounds can academically thrive.

Building a culture of inclusion in schools requires all stakeholders to share responsibility for inclusion. Some ideas for creating a more inclusive culture include:

Anti-bullying workshops
Diversity training
Writing a value statement

However, it goes beyond that. Even when enacting inclusive policies and practices, inclusive culture requires a shift of attitude. The entire school must embrace it and share the responsibility for it to come to fruition. This is where empathy and teamwork is important. Building a culture of inclusion takes everyone.

How to Promote Inclusion in the Workplace

Community building in the workplace is an important aspect of cultural inclusion. Workplace community is the culture of a company and its morale. It is influenced by individual perspectives and experiences. Therefore, it is critical that the workplace community is safe, productive, and cohesive. When workplace culture is positive, employees bring their authentic selves to the team and value their work. In order to build community, a sense of belonging and connection is required. This can be done by appreciating individual and group contributions, and being responsive to employee concerns. Similarly, holding spaces to listen to employees is necessary. Inclusive behaviors in the workplace begin at the leadership level first. Leaders can model empathy in their daily interactions, which demonstrates how employees should act. Actively demonstrating empathy and respect, helps businesses and individuals to thrive.

Creating policies that promote inclusiveness is an important first step. In addition to policies, empowering team members to solve problems and come up with new ideas promotes inclusiveness. Along with empowerment, a work culture that promotes courage is one that fosters inclusiveness. Employees should feel they can stand up for what they believe in. Lastly, promoting humility in the workplace is important for creating a positive workplace culture. Humility allows team members the ability to take constructive criticism and overcome limited viewpoints by listening to others.

Conclusion

Building a culture of inclusion is more than just a one time training event. It is creating a shift in the overall culture. It requires commitment from everyone from leaders to employees to students alike. By creating positive environments that foster empowerment, humility and courage, both schools and workplaces are more likely to succeed.

Whether you want to improve your school, community, or workplace, Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs and resources. We offer programs on cultural inclusion from teacher professional development to workplace culture training. Our team is highly trained, informative, and makes training fun. We offer a transformative experience that will leave lasting results.

You May Also Like:

Child Emotional Development

Building Community in the Classroom

Allyship

Teaching Children About Diversity

Acceptance vs Tolerance

Sources:

Business News Daily, Talent Culture, UNC.edu

Effects of Social Isolation on Children

The effects of social isolation on children remain a complex issue. There are a variety of situations that can lead to a child feeling isolated. The impact of the global pandemic has made this all the more visible. The pandemic has increased the number of children who experience isolation — many for the first time in their lives.

How do you identify feelings of social isolation in your children? This article will examine the symptoms, and causes of social isolation to help you better understand the issue and how to reduce its effects.

What is Social Isolation?

Social isolation is when someone feels excluded from others and experiences loneliness (WHO).

Effects of Social Isolation on a Child

Social isolation can stunt a child’s development in numerous ways. It can make children anxious in social settings and unable to interact with their peers or adults. It can also prevent a child from learning. Humans are social beings that learn from one another. Therefore, the lack of interaction can reduce momentum in academics as well as hinder social and emotional growth. Social isolation has also been linked to negative impacts on mental health.

Causes of Social Isolation

COVID-19

The most obvious instance of social isolation is lockdown and other social distancing measures we’ve navigated due to the pandemic (Let There Be Health). This way of living has made it difficult for children to interact with others, including their own family members.

Mental Health

Mental health such as depression and anxiety can cause social isolation. Anxiety is a prominent instance of this because a child may find social situations uncomfortable (Tulane University). Depression and hopelessness can also prevent a child from finding valid reasons to engage, meaning they withdraw as a result.

Learning Disabilities

Some children learn differently from others. For example, children with ADHD may find it difficult to interact with others. Sometimes, this is due to acting differently than their peers in social settings. Difficult interactions can make a child feel they don’t fit in and it can sometimes lead to bullying, which discourages them from engaging with their peers (Contemporary Pediatrics).

Identity

Children may struggle with their identity. They may find it hard to engage with others if they are aware of their differences, or if they simply feel they are different (Beyond Differences). It is important to create inclusive environments to reduce the anxieties and fears children feel regarding their identity.

Symptoms of Isolation

Social isolation can present a variety of symptoms. Symptoms and causes of social isolation have long been researched (Psychiatric Times). Below we explore these symptoms.

Anxiety

A worried child may act out, such as whine or talk back more than usual. Irritability is an indicator that a kid is uncomfortable and they may find it hard to verbalize their frustration directly. This frustration and lack of verbalization can lead to more serious consequences in the future. Spotting signs of anxiety and addressing these early on helps to prevent the child from developing depression and becoming a socially isolated adult later in life (National Geographic).

Hopelessness and Depression

If your child begins to find it difficult to think positively about situations, they may be experiencing symptoms of social isolation. They may begin to feel hopeless because they are unable to deal with uncertainty or unknown situations. These feelings can alter a child’s cognitive skills making learning more challenging (Edutopia).

Self Exclusion

This one may not be so obvious. When a child experiences social isolation they may start to exclude themselves more often because it becomes an expectation. If a child always feels they are going to be the last to get picked for group work in class, then they are likely to retreat from engaging with others. The less they engage, the less they get to know others around them. Their expectations are then met and they end up in a vicious cycle of isolating themselves (BBC).

The Amplification of Social Isolation

Contributing factors enhance the likelihood of experiencing social isolation. Children with either physical or mental disabilities are more likely to feel socially isolated (Contact). Therefore, it is especially important to help these children feel included.

How To Reduce the Effects of Social Isolation

Prolonged social isolation impacts the mind, mood, and even the body. Therefore, it’s important to reduce the effects. Here are just some ways to help children deal with social isolation:

1. Create new ways to come together. Due to the pandemic, engagement is entirely different than it used to be. Children may be distance learning, or if they are learning in person, they are wearing masks and are socially distanced. Therefore, it’s important to create new ways to interact with friends online or in a small playgroup. Children need more interactions outside of school to help them cope.

2. Help children experience mindfulness. Mindfulness is about staying in the moment and not worrying about the future. It eliminates what-ifs and creates a sense of peace and calm (Rush.edu). Helping children to cut themselves some slack and stay grounded, helps them to deal with the impact of social isolation.

3. Encourage them to play outdoors. Staying indoors can amplify feelings of claustrophobia, and going outside can relieve that shut-in feeling. Getting some vitamin D may be just what they need. Vitamin D is a mood booster and has been linked with reducing depression (Healthline).

4. Engage in inclusivity programs. Inclusivity programs can help children feel less socially isolated due to physical or mental differences. These programs also help prevent bullying and intolerance, which means fewer children will experience social isolation caused by others.

5. Communicate with them. Let your child know that you are aware of additional stresses due to social isolation. Be available to listen when they need to vent so they know they have you to lean on.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for students, teachers, and parents. From programs on inclusivity, mindfulness, positive parenting programs, SEL programs for elementary schools, conflict resolution strategies for students, and more, Soul Shoppe helps children navigate healthy ways to interact in the world.

What is Embodiment?

The word embodiment can have several different definitions, depending on how it’s used. In the dictionary, it’s defined as having a tangible form of a feeling or an idea. While this leads to thoughts of mind-body connection, the idea of embodiment practices takes this definition a step further.

Embodiment practices suggest the idea that there is an unbreakable link between the mind and body. The University of Minnesota, defined it as, “our movement and body makes visible all of who we are.” Uniting mind and body is important work because it enhances our relationships with ourselves and others. Also, embodiment supports self-growth, awareness, and the development of mindfulness. As one therapist said, “we might say embodiment is a state in which your entire intelligence is experienced as a coherent unity attuned to the world” (EmbodiedPresent). Because our minds and bodies are strongly connected, we learn best when we use both.

To put it simply, embodiment practices in the classroom involve learning and connecting through both movement and thought.

Why Teach Embodied Learning?

It’s easy to overlook learning through movement or mind-body exercises. However, implementing these practices can be extremely beneficial. Embodiment practices incorporate the relationship between the brain, academic achievement, and bodily movement (Educational Media International). Therefore, there is great value in teaching embodiment learning. It helps children develop kind, enriching relationships with themselves and others. In addition, it creates impressive results in cognitive abilities and short-term learning.

Research shows positive outcomes when implementing embodiment practices. In one study, 52 elementary students participated in embodiment learning activities. The students were tested before and after the duration of 4 months. Areas tested included cognitive and academic performance, general learning, observations from their teachers, and interviews. The results showed remarkable effects. Children’s short-term memory and academic performance improved dramatically (Educational Media International). There are additional studies that show similar outcomes.

In a study exploring embodied cognition, college students were given a math problem about a triangle. The students were then broken up into two groups. The control group sat in front of a computer that projected the problem. They had pens and paper available to use. The second group, however, had to stand in front of the computer and had no supplies, though they could use gestures. Those who did not use any strategies were the least successful (11.5%). Those who used pen and paper were more successful (27.3%). However, those who used hand gestures, or whole-body learning, did the best. Of those who used smaller gestures, 34.3% were successful. But those that used bigger movements, or “dynamic depictive gestures,” were correct 63.6% of the time (Shapiro and Stolz). In this instance, we can see that embodiment practices helped both academic performance and cognition.

Embodiment Practices in the Classroom or at Home

kids doing yoga - embodiment practices, embodied learning

Embodiment learning involves the whole body during the cognitive process. As a result, there is a connection between new ideas and movement. One example of this learning style is children adding by tossing bean bags and counting. Another embodied learning activity is children singing and clapping out a spelling song. All of these methods combine movement with cognition. There are many ways to incorporate the mind and body, whether through academics or through other mind-body exercises such as yoga. Each activity has its own unique benefits.

Embodiment Learning Activities

There are many creative embodiment learning activities you can use at home or in the classroom. Some of them include:

Acting: Act out a story, event, or article.
Dance: Implement dance in your curriculum, using movement to express math, science, or other subjects. Whether stomping to create counts or dancing like wildlife ecosystems, it is a great way to connect the body and the mind.
Mazes: Make a maze out of sticks, stones, rope, or other material and have children navigate through it.
Music: The brain absorbs information extremely well through music. Whether teaching a formal music lesson, or implementing a musical activity, music is a great way to get students singing and moving. Sing songs for different subjects to assist with learning anything from science to social studies to math. Add hand movements to the songs for embodied learning.
Yoga: Bring a little yoga into the classroom or your home. An easy way to start is to watch or download free yoga videos online.
Sensory Play: Create with play-doh, make slime, and include a variety of other sensory play activities in your schedule.
Games: Some motion censored games, such as using a Wii or virtual reality can help teach skills. They can even help with teaching English as a second language.
Art: Draw comics, or paint a scene from a book or an event in history.

There are many easy, fun ways to incorporate embodied learning activities. They do not have to cost a lot of money, and yet they are well worth it to improve retention and understanding.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs, including SEL programs for elementary schools, embodiment practices, positive parenting programs, peacemaker programs, and more.

Friendship Group Activities

We’ve provided a few friendship activity ideas below. They range in complexity between activities that only need a few minutes of prep and no supplies, to activities that require a longer timeline and need a few items. It would make sense to incorporate a handful of friendship group activities into classroom curriculum throughout the academic year.

The Greeting Game

Supplies:

None.

How to do it:

This game is good for the beginning of the school year when everyone is still learning names. The students take turns saying, “Hello, [name]” to everyone in the classroom. The student who remembers the most names without stumbling wins a small prize.

Why it’s a good idea:

For a lot of children, one of the most intimidating things they will face is starting a conversation with strangers. (Wired) Helping children create positive emotional associations with saying “hello” to people is a valuable skill they can carry throughout the rest of their lives. It will help them to get past nerves that come with meeting new people.

Group Art Activities

Supplies:

Paints, sidewalk chalk, crayons, or other art supplies, and a big surface that children can work on together.

How to do it:

Suggest a theme–birthdays, space, friendship, etc. Children will create a big mural on that subject.

Why it’s a good idea:

There are a lot of reasons creative group activities foster a sense of community. (HarvardGSE) Students have the opportunity to plan together, to see how other students solve problems, and to share in contributing to something they can all feel excited about. A shared sense of accomplishment is impactful.

Group Storytelling Activities

Supplies:

Notebooks, whiteboards, computers, or anything else where children can record the events of the story.

How to do it:

Start with a prompt. Either ask for volunteers or call on students to contribute a sentence or event to a story. Work together to build a cohesive story. Ensure that every student gets a chance to contribute.

Why it’s a good idea:

The stories that we tell hold our communities together. (Ed) When children cooperate to create a story, it promotes a sense of accomplishment and community. Because every child in the classroom gets a chance to contribute, every child receives the opportunity to feel a sense of personal accomplishment, as well as an opportunity to hear the ideas of their classmates. This activity also provides a give and take structure which is important in social interactions.

Blindfolded Obstacle Course

Supplies:

Blindfold.

How to do it:

First, have the children rearrange the furniture in the classroom into an obstacle course. Next, children will take turns putting on the blindfold and navigating the obstacle course. All the other students in the classroom call out instructions to the blindfolded child to help them get through the obstacle course. Take turns with different students and rearrange the course each time.

Why it’s a good idea:

Learning trust, earning it, and instilling it in other people, is one of the most important emotional learning skills a child can develop. (Visibly) An activity where students have to help each other out and trust that the help they are receiving will provide a positive outcome provides a chance to create strong social bonds.

Finding Things in Common

Supplies:

None, or create a bingo card.

How to do it:

Organize students into small groups. Children sit down with their groups and find out things they have in common (e.g. like pizza, have a brother, love dogs). Make it a game by setting a certain number of things in common they need to find. Whichever small group finds that number of things in common first wins a prize.

Why it’s a good idea:

Finding common ground with others is an essential part of developing strong social bonds. (Gazette) A friendship group activity that encourages kids to learn more about each other is a great way to learn how to make friends in and out of the classroom.

Friendship Social Skills Group Activities

Educators who need assistance in developing friendship group activities for their students or other social emotional activities can receive help through Soul Shoppe. Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs, online or in-person, for children and educators. Soul Shoppe strategies encourage children to build community and meaningful relationships with their peers. Whether helping in the classroom or assisting parents at home, Soul Shoppe focuses the discussion on social skills and emotional learning. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools, homeschool social emotional electives, or our parent support programs.

Fun Indoor Classroom Games

Developing fun indoor classroom games for kids with social-emotional learning requires choosing and framing fun interactive activities. (MakingCaringCommon) Several common indoor classroom games already provide social-emotional learning opportunities. They just need to be framed so that students get used to approaching activities with the right mindset to practice social and emotional skills.

Here are a few suggestions to start with:

Social-Emotional Games for Students

Most games are already predicated on skills like paying attention, practicing memory, understanding how to use rules to make goals and follow through on decisions. As a result, turning a fun indoor game into a social-emotional learning game might be as simple as pointing out the skills the game asks the students to practice. (GSE)

For example…

I Spy

This reliable game is predicated on several important social-emotional skills. For example, it relates to focus, such as:

Practicing filtering between senses and impressions
Focusing in spite of distractions
Reacting to detailed instructions in a timely fashion

Framing this game to turn it into a social-emotional learning game might look something like this:

Tell students that this game is about exercising their “focus power.” Additionally:

Tell students they get to use “focus binoculars” to help them pay better attention to details. For younger kids, this might include miming holding a pair of binoculars to their eyes.
Make it clear that “focus power” involves more than just their sense of sight. They need to look, but they also need to listen for clues, and they need to make a point of thinking about using their minds to hush distractions.
When the game is over, moderate a conversation with the students. Get them talking about frustrations or distractions that made the game difficult, and discuss strategies for improving attention.
An important aspect of turning a game into a social-emotional learning activity is the roundup at the end. Educators can ask students to think about other times they need to use their “focus power,” and what that looks like to them.

The Name Game

With this game, students will be able to practice paying attention to what other people say. Find out about more listening skills activities here. This game helps students:

Practice active listening
It helps with memory, in particular, as it relates to social interactions.
It also helps with social skills.

Arrange students into a circle. Students take turns saying their name and accompany it with some kind of movement. Examples include raising their hand or sticking out a foot. Then all of the other students say that student’s name and imitate the motion. Go around the circle, repeating every new student’s name and motion and add it to a sequence. Frame this game by talking to students about engaging their “memory power.”

Before starting the game, ask students why remembering is important in and out of school.
Talk about all of the activities in life that involve “memory power.” Things like remembering where grandma lives, or which snacks you and your friends like in common, or the rules to games.
When the game is over, review with students the challenging parts of the game–talk about the easy parts too.
Talk with students about how to use memory power in their lives as it relates to making friends or other social skills.

Simon Says

classroom circle - fun indoor classroom games

The game of Simon Says creates opportunities for students to practice the following skills:

Community participation
Active listening
Paying close attention to what they’re doing

Frame Simon Says as a social-emotional learning activity by telling students how they can use their “stop and think power” to do well.

Set it up by talking about how powerful our minds are over our bodies when we are in the habit of stopping to think about our actions.
Talk through all the times, in and out of the classroom, that we need to stop and think about what we do.
When the game is over, students can talk through how they paid attention and what they did to help themselves control their bodies.
Have a class discussion about ways to practice stop and think power throughout the rest of the day.

Classroom Games for Kids

Games make excellent teaching tools. They create classroom bonding activities, and they provide learning opportunities that might not otherwise arise. In most cases, fun indoor classroom games can be turned into social-emotional learning experiences, if they’re framed correctly.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for schools and homeschooling families. Our in-person and online programs provide training to educators to help them learn how to create social-emotional learning classroom activities. Additionally, Soul Shoppe provides direct-to-student curriculum such as the online course Tools of the Heart. Contact us for more information here to learn more about our online courses.

Don’t just take our word for it! Check out this exciting recap video from Dr. Pooch:

Get Your Change On! centered on creating an open and safe space to hold important conversations around change and learn different ways to adapt, express emotions, and approach change differently in the future.

… and as you know, change is something we will have to constantly deal with it.

Something that has definitely shifted in the lives of our kiddos and even adults, is that there are now many conversations being had or shared in the media around the differences in the world — differences in cultures, race, and status. These conversations are far from easy but they are so necessary to have so that we can strive and hope for a future filled with community and compassion…

… a future where we can recognize and appreciate all differences.

The harsh reality is that when we recognize differences, we are forced to change how we look at the world.

And frankly, if you don’t know where to start with that shift, change can feel really scary and that’s okay.

Here at Soul Shoppe, we take pride in honoring, recognizing, and appreciating all the things that make each of us unique. Now, we want to share that same outlook with you and your kiddos.

We invite you to join Respect Differences, an on-demand course where kids are guided through lessons that will help them build up their self-esteem so that they can show more empathy toward people with ideas, appearances, likes, and dislikes different from their own.

This can ignite a beautiful change in our hearts, our lives, and our communities.

And that’s a change we’d love to see!

Interested in learning more about Respect Differences? Click the button below for more information!

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WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Now, we want to know what you thought of our virtual event. Whether you’re a parent, a teacher, or a school administrator, we’d love to hear from you so we can continue to improve our programs to best serve your kids and students.

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Gifts, Giggles & Goodness

Soul Shoppe’s virtual holiday celebration – Gifts, Giggles & Goodness – made it an incredible week for us. We hit record numbers of participants with well over 1200 kids joining in over the course of 3 days!

Together we got crafty with homemade holiday gifts, giggled in more ways than we could count, and shared how small acts of kindness can make a big difference. Thanks to all who participated, our days have been a whole lot more joyous and bright.

The Good Goes Around! All it takes is one small act of kindness to turn someone’s day around and light up their face with a smile. Our big-hearted facilitator Ryan taught us to get creative with crazy gifts and how we can practice more kindness to spark joy this season. Our big-hearted facilitator Dara helped us get our giggles out!

Now we want to know what you thought of our virtual events this year. Whether you’re a parent, a teacher, or a school administrator, we’d love to hear from you so we can continue to improve our programs to best serve your kids and students.

Simply click the button below to take a very brief survey (only 3 questions!) and give us your feedback.

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We wish you lots more laughter, love, and joy this holiday season, and look forward to seeing you again on Zoom in the new year!

Goal Setting for Students

Students can quickly become overwhelmed when they have a lot of work to do but haven’t yet been equipped with the skill of goal setting. Overwhelmed students may act as though they are disinterested, aloof, or even lazy. They may appear to engage in an approach-avoidance cycle that adults interpret as a lack of motivation when the reality is that they aren’t sure how their present assignments will lead them to achieve their future goals.

Goal setting for students is vital. Every child needs to be equipped with a clear objective, as well as tactics to help them achieve their objectives when obstacles arise.

This article will discuss the importance of goal setting for students and practical ways to teach it.

Goal Setting for Students

The Importance of Goal Setting

EducationWeek states, “Goal setting helps students to be more aware of the learning that they are expected to experience. This awareness helps students to be engaged in the learning process. Mastery-oriented goals give students the opportunity to focus on learning standards and their own growth.”

As indicated above, there is a strong connection between a student’s understanding of their trajectory in the classroom and their ability to self-assess their learning progress.

For example, most teachers clearly define the student objective inherent within any given lesson plan. Most lesson plans begin with the words, “At the end of this lesson the students will be able to . . . “ Or some such similar statement. Clearly defining the objective of the lesson helps guide the teacher in their planning.

Why not share the objective of your lesson with the students?

Research shows that when you write the day’s objective on the board for all the students to see, they learn how to compare and contrast the day’s goals with their own experience. If a teacher writes, “At the end of this lesson, the students will be able to list the elements of a structured essay,” you are giving clear instructions as well as setting clear goals for your students. Students can, in turn, learn what goal setting looks like and how to measure their progress.

When objectives are social emotional rather than task-based, the objective may sometimes go unspoken. When implementing activities related to social-emotional learning, sharing goals is important. In addition, creating a chart of classroom goals together can help students see what outcomes the classroom wants to achieve while taking an active role in deciding the desired outcome. In this case, the class may come up with ideas like “be respectful to others.” Because the goal is their own and not just given to them, they may take a more active role in ensuring that outcome.

The importance of goal setting for students is that they learn to recognize a goal and outcome so they can eventually create roadmaps for themselves in any area of their lives.

Practical Ways You Can Teach Goal Setting for Students

Students work while teacher observes - goal setting for students

Goal Setting for Older Students

One of the most widely accepted and practical approaches to goal setting for students is found in the acronym SMART.

Smart goals for students include the following tenants:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time-based

Let’s get more specific about how to set a smart goal.

Specific

The career search website Indeed discusses smart goals at length. Indeed explains, “By setting objectives and creating a clear roadmap for how you’ll reach your intended target, you can decide how to apply your time and resources to make progress.” This sentiment is a good reminder that what we teach our students about setting goals will follow them into their adulthood and careers.

When you are teaching smart goals for students, you can begin with helping them understand what it means to make a specific goal. The guidelines for setting a specific goal include the 3 S’s:

Simple. Sensible. Significant.

For example, if a student struggles with the concept of long division in math class, they might make a specific goal to help focus their efforts and feel motivated to achieve it. In this case, the student might decide they want to become better at long division because they want to master the skill to move onto the next level of math.

Measurable

Measurable goals help students track their progress and stay focused.

Using the example above, the student might set a goal to practice long division for 20 minutes a day. This is a measurable goal because it includes a specific amount of time and defines a piece of evidence that can prove progress.

Attainable

Setting attainable goals means the goal should stretch your student’s abilities but remain possible.

An attainable goal for a student who wants to become better at long division might be to get a better grade on their next math quiz. So, a student who earned a 60% on one quiz might set the goal of achieving a 70% on their next quiz. This goal is attainable because it is realistic and not overwhelming.

Relevant

Relevant goals are those that matter to your students. Part of the importance of goal setting for students is that they learn to recognize which tasks are essential to spend time on and which are not as relevant to their future endeavors.

Your students’ goals should align with their values and larger, long-term goals. In the example of a student who is struggling with long division, you might encourage them to think about how mastering the skill of long division will help them move on to the next level of math, which will, in turn, help them achieve the goal of graduation to the next grade level.

Connecting tasks to specific outcomes that relate directly to a student’s vision for their future works as a motivator and a source of inspiration!

Time-Based

Setting a clear and specific end-time or end-date for each goal helps students maintain stamina and focus because they know there is an end in sight–especially when they’re working on something they might not be interested in.

The math student might decide, “To achieve my goal of mastering the skill of long division, I will practice these math skills every day for 20 minutes until the next math quiz. Then, I will reassess the amount of time I spend practicing math.”

Short-term goals can help students keep the end in sight, and they also give you, as the teacher or parent, an opportunity to reward their efforts. If they achieve their goal of earning a 10% higher grade on the following math quiz, you can celebrate their success, thus motivating them further. If they don’t achieve their goal, you can celebrate the work they put in and help them reassess their strategies.

Students must learn early on that not reaching a goal the first time is a natural part of learning and growth. Celebrating their determination is just as important as celebrating their victories.

Goal Setting for Younger Students

Goal setting for younger students often needs a more hands-on approach and more practice. In this case the SMART acronym will need to be broken down further. Younger students will need regular instruction on how to set effective goals. Here’s how to break down SMART goals for younger students:

Specific: What exactly do you want to accomplish?

Measurable: How will you know when your goal is set?

Attainable: Is it possible to meet this goal?

Relevant: Is the goal worth your work and effort?

Timely: What is the deadline you want to set to achieve your goal?

(Ms. Winter’s Bliss)

To help younger students understand concepts of specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely, it’s helpful for them to explore opposites. For example, “What is specific versus vague,” or “What is measurable versus non-measurable.” This activity can help them better understand the meaning and importance of each term.

Conclusion

Actively having your students participate in classroom goals, having them set specific goals for their tasks, and leading by example are all great ways to introduce goal setting into the classroom. Implementing SMART goals is also helpful because it gives students a framework that is easy to remember and repeat.

At Soul Shoppe, our mission is to transform schools and communities by cultivating awareness, empathy, and connection. Soul Shoppe transforms learning communities into inclusive, empathy–based environments by teaching kids and adults the social–emotional skills they need to navigate life’s difficulties with compassion and self–awareness. From the Peacemakers program to online elementary school SEL programs, and parent programs, Soul Shoppe brings social emotional programs directly to you.

Reach out to us for more information on supporting you as you support our kids and communities!

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Growth Mindset for Kids

Do you believe your intelligence and talents are set in stone?

Or, do you believe you can improve them with hard work, commitment, and good strategies?

If you believe you can enhance your intelligence and abilities, you have a growth mindset. Conversely, if you think your potential is finite instead of fluid, you have a fixed mindset.

Research has shown that children and adults can develop and improve their intelligence. The most critical factor is believing that intelligence results from hard work and study (Very Well Mind). Those who think this, enjoy learning because they know they can succeed with effort. This knowledge creates a positive cycle of perseverance and belief in oneself.

A growth mindset for kids is essential in helping them become resilient and lifelong learners. It also has other benefits, including improving overall health and development (Harvard School of Education).

This article will list and explain the qualities of a growth mindset for kids. Next, we will compare that to a fixed mindset. Then, we will share five ways to help children develop a growth mindset at home and school.

Growth Mindset for Kids

It is critical to help instill a growth mindset in kids. The work begins at home, where children typically spend most of their time. If their home is a supportive, warm, and responsive place, children can focus on their intellectual development (Forbes). Therefore, having a stable, happy environment accelerates children’s learning ability.

Children of all ages can develop a growth mindset. Here are some of the qualities we see in kids who have a growth mindset:

They have a passion for learning
High self-esteem
They tend to be open-minded
View failure as an opportunity for growth
Enjoy increased self-awareness
Believe effort leads to mastery
They can self-regulate
Consider failures to be temporary setbacks
They have empathy for themselves and others
Willingly embrace change
They are emotionally resilient
View feedback as an opportunity to learn (Mindset Health).

These qualities help children succeed in academics and other activities, even when faced with setbacks.

How a Growth Mindset Increases Intelligence

Happy, studious students Growth mindset for kids

A growth mindset can increase intelligence in a few different ways. A research study by Carol Dweck from Stanford included studying thousands of children for 30 years. Dr. Dweck separated them into two categories: those with a growth mindset and those with a fixed mindset. She discovered after years of research that our brains are malleable.

Brain plasticity can improve and form new connections with practice while strengthening existing ones. This process of practice and growth rewires the brain to make people smarter; when students believe they can improve their intelligence, they put more effort into their learning. More significant effort leads to higher levels of achievement and success.

Additionally, we can improve the speed of the transmission of information by having good habits. Some helpful practices include using good strategies, asking questions, healthy eating, and good sleep schedules (Mindset Works). Consequently, we have more control over our abilities than we may have initially believed.

What is a Fixed Mindset?

A fixed mindset believes that children are born smart or talented, and no amount of effort will change that. This belief is incredibly limiting. As a result, children with a fixed mindset did not have the same results as those with a growth mindset.

A fixed mindset negatively impacts children’s resilience, academics, relationships, and other areas. It makes them less resilient because they believe they can’t improve. These children may develop negative thinking patterns and have a deep fear of failure or making mistakes. They typically avoid challenges, give up quickly, and feel threatened by other people’s success.

How to Teach Students to Develop a Growth Mindset

Teaching a growth mindset for students is essential for their success. Here are five ways to teach a growth mindset for children at home or in the classroom.

Have established routines.

Routines are important because they give children stability and structure. This predictable family and classroom climate supports child development and academic success (Forbes).

2. Give specific feedback.

Researchers discovered that the type of feedback children receive matters. When encouraging a growth mindset, praise children for their effort and hard work. Resist the temptation to praise children by telling them that they are “smart,” as doing so encourages kids to believe in a fixed mindset, decreasing motivation and achievement. (Mindset Works). You can praise children for their effort and work ethic instead!

3. Erase the word “can’t” from your classroom.

Take away the word “can’t” and replace it with the phrase: “yet” (6seconds). The word can’t is dangerous because it discourages children from trying. Instead of allowing your students to say, “I can’t read,” encourage them to say, “I can’t read yet.” This change encourages kids to believe they WILL learn to read with enough time and effort.

4. Model a growth mindset for your students.

It’s important to talk aloud while you’re going through challenges so your students can hear how you handle them. For example, you can say, “I’m struggling to finish this task, but I’ll complete it.” Such sentiments exemplify a growth mindset.

Other phrases you can avoid include, “I can’t do this,” or “it’s too hard.” Continue to show a growth mindset, and eventually, your students will emulate.

5. Teach children about the brain.

Teach your students about the parts of the brain responsible for learning. Understanding the mechanics of the mind helps children know that they can improve their brains with practice and dedication. Also, teach that it is possible to become smarter with effort.

You can use the following lessons as a guide:

Two lesson plans for elementary: #1 and #2

Lesson plan for middle school #1 and #2

Lesson plan for high school

Final Words

Children can improve their intelligence with dedication and effort. A growth mindset allows children to reach their full potential and their goals. The most successful people are lifelong learners, resilient, and view failure as room for growth. Teaching this skill to children empowers them with the tools they need to have a bright future.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs such as positive parenting programs, SEL programs for elementary schools, a peacemakers program, online courses, corporate training, and more.

You May Also Like:

How To Teach Empathy To Kids and Teenagers

Conflict Resolution Games for Kids

Virtual Social Emotional Learning Activities

Feelings Poster

Stress in Children

Talking About Feelings

Sources:

6seconds.org, Focused Kids, Forbes, Growth Mind Institute, Harvard, Harvard School of Education, Mawi Learning, Mindset Health, Mindset Works, Very Well Mind

How To Create A Safe Space

Education in general, but especially for children, rests on an assumption that new ideas will be explored–new thoughts will be thought. Some ideas cause discomfort, and some thoughts feel dangerous. When encountering new ideas or thinking new thoughts, children will worry sometimes whether what they think is somehow bad or wrong. Even if the thought isn’t wrong or bad, if it feels uncomfortable children are less likely to speak about them out loud or ask questions to better understand the new information. This new information might be an unsettling experience in life. Other experiences might include interactions with discrimination which makes environments feel unsafe.

For this reason, it’s essential to create a safe space in every classroom setting where children feel they’re allowed to ask any question without attracting negative reactions. In this article, we’ll explore what makes a safe space and how to create a safe space in the classroom.

How To Create A Safe Space

What is a Safe Space?

Safe space can refer to actual space, such as a classroom, or can even indicate a safe space ideologically. These can also be the same thing. Regardless, it’s important to create some clear and specific context where the boundaries clearly define where and when there will be no judgment.

There are different schools of thought around how to create a safe space, inside and outside the classroom. It’s vital that classrooms are safe spaces, and that they lend themselves to becoming safe spaces. Ideas are being tested already, and so some thinkers push a narrative of embracing a strategy of turning classrooms into “brave spaces.” In a brave space, educators tackle controversy with civility and moderate conversation to aid in ownership of intentions and their impact.

How to Create a Safe Space in the Classroom

children with hands raised in the classroom

Creating a safe space in the classroom starts with the teacher. An educator sets the tone of their classroom before students even set foot in there.

Since the crux of safe spaces stems from First-Amendment rights, it’s possible to begin with a conversation about the First Amendment. Every student–every person–has to understand the content and the implications of the First Amendment of the U.S. constitution. At the same time, it weighs on an educator to mediate productive dialogue, rather than permit a conversation that goes anywhere. While the goal is to create a classroom environment where students feel free to speak their minds, there are ways to be honest while showing respect.

Understanding how to speak both freely and respectfully is a necessary step in creating a safe space.

Educators might moderate this dialogue about First Amendment rights by…

Leading conversation on the subject of hurtful terms and what terms to use instead. If a child has never had an opportunity to learn that a given term may offend in some cases, then it is valuable to hear that in a safe environment.
Cultivate empathy. In the context of the classroom, conversations about understanding and empathizing with the perspectives of others turns into a skill. Skills have technical aspects, and they can be improved by practice and repetition. Discussions about what other people might think or feel helps create an environment of mutual respect.
Moderate conversations between peers when one of them has offended the other. Sometimes children haven’t learned the tools to communicate their feelings honestly and with empathy. Educators are in a position to use social situations as teaching opportunities.
Encourage students to speak up when they hear potentially damaging or derogatory speech. Children are more likely to speak up and honestly appraise what they hear if they’re not worried about possible negative consequences of speaking up. So, make it clear that nothing punitive happens when people do speak out about derogatory speech.
Create opportunities for open discussion, like “circle time” or otherwise age-appropriate contexts that enable a sense that this time is protected–i.e., a safe space.

Project Empty

Try our Project Empty Challenge and create a Peace Corner. Somewhere in your home or educational space, create a protected place with tools that promote calm. Tailor it to the needs of your students (and yourself). Any art, comfy cushions, or art supplies that promote a sense of calm can create a space that feels safe and welcoming.

Creating Safe Spaces

happy child in classroom - how to create a safe space

A classroom has to be a place free of fear, or at least somewhere that encourages bravery. If an educator wants to prepare their students to have rewarding lives, then it is essential to create a safe space where all students feel welcome, seen, and embraced. To do this means teaching techniques for respect and empathy and talking about some hard ideas. In the end, creating a safe space in the classroom empowers students for the rest of their lives.

How To Express Your Feelings in Words

kids talking in classroom - how to express feelings in words

Words to Describe Emotions and Feelings

In general, expressing emotions takes fewer words. At the same time, it requires courage. Children might find it difficult to voice the emotions they’re experiencing.

Help your child or students with vocabulary that enables communication of emotions.

The six basic emotions are:

Anger
Fear
Joy
Love
Sadness
Surprise

After a child identifies one of these emotions, then it becomes easier to start talking about feelings.

Feelings can come from emotions. For example:

Envy can be a feeling that comes from anger.
People feel panic as a result of fear.
Relief can be a feeling proceeding from joy.
Sometimes people feel longing because of the emotion of love.
Humiliation can be a feeling that comes from sadness.
Silliness can come from surprise.

(CenterVention)

Expressing Emotions Examples

Feelings and emotions can be complex. Panic might come from fear, but then it might lead to anger. Feelings of shame can sometimes stem from a moment that started as joyful.

Once an emotion or feeling has been identified, it’s easier to choose appropriate coping mechanisms.

Among the most effective tools for expressing feelings in healthy ways is the, “I feel…When people…I need…Will you please…” formation. (SoulShoppe)

This formation may need to be broken down, especially for younger children.

Start with just the “I feel…” part.

For example…

I feel frustrated.
I feel worried.
I feel nervous.

After children get used to identifying their feelings and emotions, start asking them to identify the cause of their feelings. Use the formation, “I feel…when people…”

For example…

I feel frustrated when people talk about how I pronounce words.
I feel worried when people remind me I have a math quiz.
I feel nervous when people talk about how I wear glasses.

Once they start getting the hang of associating their feelings with things happening in their lives, start asking them to begin looking for the reason those events matter. Use the “I feel…when people…I need…” formation.

For example…

I feel frustrated when people talk about how I pronounce words. I need to feel safe when I talk.
I feel worried when people remind me I have a math quiz. I need to learn my math problems.
I feel nervous when people talk about how I wear my glasses. I need to feel safe wearing my glasses.

The point of this formation is to give children more tools to communicate what’s going on inside them.

The last step is giving children the tools to ask for what they need. For example…

I feel frustrated when people talk about how I pronounce words. I need to feel safe when I talk. Will you please stop pointing out how I pronounce words?
I feel worried when people remind me I have a math quiz. I need to learn my math problems. Will you please help me study?
I feel nervous when people talk about how I wear my glasses. I need to feel safe wearing my glasses. Will you please stop talking about my glasses?

Why a Child has Difficulty Expressing Emotions

The reason a child might have trouble expressing emotions and feelings is simply that they’ve experienced fewer things than an adult, and some feelings are new. As a result, they’ve had fewer opportunities to learn the terminology necessary to express their emotions and feelings. According to Vanderbilt University, “Children get angry, sad, frustrated, nervous, happy, or embarrassed, but they often do not have the words to talk about how they are feeling. Instead, they sometimes act out these emotions in very physical and inappropriate ways.” (Vanderbilt) Children can end up experiencing frustration when they haven’t yet learned the words necessary to explain what they are feeling.

Therefore, teaching your child to identify and express emotions and feelings is of paramount importance. Gently helping children to better grasp the vocabulary and tools to identify and express emotions will prepare them for a far more rewarding life. This is because when they learn how to express their feelings in words they can then progress to learning coping mechanisms to express their feelings in healthy ways.

How to Make Friends at School

According to WebMD, “Healthy friendships are also linked to better cardiovascular health, lower blood pressure, less depression, and a longer life. So it never hurts to try to make new friends.” (WebMD)

It’s a comfort to know that there are health benefits for friendships. However, children don’t need to know that there are health benefits to recognize that making friends is a good idea.

The job of educators is to create environments where children have equal opportunities to make friends, regardless of whether children are shy or outgoing.

Skills to teach children how to make friends include:

kids talking at school. How to Make Friends at School

Saying yes to invitations
Taking initiative in social situations
Starting conversations (Sharing something about themselves is a good way to start.)
Showing interest in what other people are saying
Smiling and making eye contact
Share details about themself
Practicing small acts of kindness
Demonstrating persistent interest

Social skills aren’t necessarily obvious to some children. In fact, some children might find the prospect of trying to make friends both frustrating and intimidating. Even outgoing children might not have any natural instincts for how to pursue a rewarding relationship. Designing classroom activities that encourage the social skills listed above will help children start pursuing rewarding friendships.

While children learn what skills help them make friends, some children will also benefit from learning a few things not to do in a conversation to foster stronger friendships.

For instance:

Act with honesty.
Avoid bragging. While educators should try to show children they can be proud of their accomplishments, there should be some distinction made between talking about things they’re proud of themselves for and bragging about them.
Limit aggressive conversation tactics. Children might need to learn not to be too forceful with new acquaintances. They may also need to be introduced to spacial boundaries.
Learn patience. Children might need to learn that friendships can take a long time and need to be nurtured.

Another important and not necessarily intuitive skill that children need to learn about making friends is recognizing when they have successfully made a friend.

For instance:

Another child takes the initiative in the relationship
When it feels comfortable to be around a person and talk to them
When it becomes natural to share feelings with the person

The skills involved in learning how to make friends might not seem like teachable skills. However, nothing could be further from the truth. There are objective and clear indicators related to making friends, and anything objective and clear can be taught.

Conversation Starters

A fairly straightforward skill educators can create activities around is conversation starters. It’s a mystery to some children how to initiate a conversation. It may be an effective use of classroom time to design an activity where children come up with conversation starters.

For example:

What animal would you like to be and why?
What’s the longest walk you’ve ever taken?
What would you do if you didn’t have a TV?
If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
What’s your favorite story?
What’s your favorite song and why do you like it?
If you had a superpower what would it be?

Implementing this activity in the classroom allows children to think of things they would like to use in conversations without the pressure of performing on the spot.

A follow-up activity to this is roleplaying these conversation starters with other kids in the classroom. Roleplay provides the opportunity of helping children practice starting a conversation and thinking about what happens after the conversation continues.

Conversation skills are just as important as any other life skill. Activities that foster learning opportunities for children to learn how to make friends will prepare children for success in life.

For an online program on social emotional learning that includes social engagement exercises, view Tools From The Heart.

If unable to teach social skills in the classroom, or if an educator would like assistance teaching social skills, you can receive help with virtual social learning activities. Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for children and educators that can be completed online. Soul Shoppe strategies encourage empathy and emotional awareness in children. Whether helping in the classroom or assisting parents at home, Soul Shoppe brings social skills to the forefront of the discussion. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools, homeschool social emotional electives, or our parent support programs.

The Empty Balloon Exercise – How it Works

The Empty Balloon Exercise is an emotional management tool. It begins by having students visualize emotional states as big balloons. As the emotion expands, the imagined balloon expands. And what happens to balloons when they overinflate?

They pop.

In an effort to avoid emotional explosions, the idea is to find ways to release pressure from your emotional ballon before they pop.

The Empty Balloon Exercise serves as a teaching metaphor to describe the psychology and physiology behind effective emotional management. Click here to learn more about the Emotional Balloon Exercise.

Improving Emotional Intelligence for Elementary Students

Emotional intelligence is a critical factor in the effective management of emotions. The practice of improving emotional intelligence is a lifelong challenge for most of us. It’s valuable to prepare children with a solid foundation in understanding how to interpret and manage emotions. This includes their own and those of other people.

In order to improve emotional intelligence, teachers and parents can incorporate certain activities into their curricula. Such as: (DCE)

Self-awareness activities. Activities like journaling and role-playing help children learn self-awareness. Reading is also a good tool for learning self-awareness.
Practicing self-regulation. Exercises like pausing to breathe before reacting and recognizing your own emotions are important. Board games and active games like Simon Says help kids learn and practice self-regulation skills.
Empathy is an important part of improving emotional management. It may not come naturally for children to think about how other kids feel. Activities like check-ins including the whole class, or role-playing help students practice empathy.
Cultivating social skills. Nothing teaches emotional intelligence better than social interaction. Providing children with opportunities to practice social skills gives them practical experience in developing emotional awareness. Team sports and playing games as teams provide good aids in teaching social skills.

A lot goes into emotional intelligence. With a strong grounding in emotional awareness, students can learn lessons to help them manage and control their emotions in healthy ways. (HBS)

Sometimes children find it challenging to differentiate between feelings and emotions. It is important to develop the skills to identify when it is an emotion and when it is a feeling. Feelings are generally immediate reactions to situations, while emotions often involve a deeper psychological reality. (iMotions)

How to Manage and Control Emotions in Healthy Ways

Improving Emotional Intelligence for Elementary Students

Emotional balloons will inflate. Being human means having emotions. Developing emotional intelligence is a lifelong skill. When kids can identify what they’re feeling, they will have better luck deflating their emotional balloons.

There are a handful of good ways to deflate your emotional balloon. Here are a few: (SoulShoppe)

Hang out with friends. Social interaction helps raise emotional awareness and helps turn negative emotions into positive ones.
Dance it out. Engaging the body with an activity unrelated to a negative emotion helps reduce the pressure in your emotional balloon. Plus…
Listening to music is always a good emotional outlet!
Stop and breathe for a second before doing the next thing.
Read a book. If the problem is getting too deep into your own head, books are great ways to change how you’re thinking.
Give someone a hug. As naturally social animals, humans heal from positive physical contact.
Find a chuckle. Laughing stimulates endorphin production and helps with mood regulation.
Do something creative. Drawing a picture, singing a song, and writing some poetry, are all ways to redirect emotional energy in a positive way.
Talking to someone trustworthy will also help relieve emotional stress a lot of the time.
Cry if you need to!

There are a lot of ways to relieve pressure from your emotional balloon, or even empty it completely.

Peace Corner

Where can students go during the school day when they need a moment to empty their emotional balloons? A peace corner is a safe space that can be created in the classroom or at home where children can empty their emotional balloons. Find out how to create a peace corner here.

There are many opportunities for children to learn how to manage emotions in a positive way, at home and at school. Through creating and sharing social and emotional learning techniques, Soul Shoppe helps teachers and parents at home or in the classroom. Our SEL curriculum for elementary school students help children learn positive emotional management. We have developed tools like the Empty Emotional Balloon exercise and the Peace Corner to bring SEL tools to your curriculum. To learn about online SEL programs for elementary schools, click here. For home school social emotional programs, click here.

How To Teach a Child to Take Responsibility for Their Actions

Modeling

Taking responsibility for actions as well as approaching tasks responsibly requires the development of higher executive functions. Functions like working memory, mental flexibility, and self-control. (DevelopingChild)

In a classroom setting as well as in the home, the most effective teaching method for higher executive functions is modeling them. (MCC)

It’s important for teachers and parents to develop caring relationships with their children.
Adults should make an effort to be strong and healthy role models. Children see everything and they’re always learning.
It should be made clear by parents and teachers that caring matters.
Additionally, children need to be given opportunities to practice caring. This might include volunteering opportunities or other activities that teach responsibility.
Expose children to a wider understanding of the cares of the world, within reason, to help them to build empathy.

Modeling healthy behavior will teach children higher executive functions, such as taking responsibility for their actions. Educators and parents can reinforce the lessons through activities and games that teach responsibility.

Here are a few examples. (PetitJourney)

Activities & Games To Teach Responsibility

Role-Playing

Role-playing helps to teach children about outcomes of scenarios that haven’t occurred yet. Set up a scenario where the person in the scenario did something that affected others negatively. Prompt the child to take responsibility for their actions, and then demonstrate a positive outcome. Praise the child in the scenario. You might say something like, “Sometimes it can be hard to tell the truth. I’m so glad you were honest and told me about what happened. Let’s work together to fix the situation.”

Tidying up their Workspace

Nobody likes cleaning up the workspace at the end of the day. Right?

What if it’s turned into a game? Maybe at the end of the day, turn tidying up the classroom into a game. Perhaps race to see who can clean up their space first.

It’s possible to reframe tidying up as a positive and rewarding activity. It can easily become an effective technique for teaching responsibility to students.

Help in the Kitchen

Child sweeping up mess - how to teach a child to take responsibility for their actions

Kids can learn a lot about responsibility from cooking. Kitchens are full of tools that have to be used responsibly in order to be useful and not dangerous. Cooking requires attention to detail and effective planning. It also comes with an automatic reward for doing it right in the form of a cake, or a batch of cookies, or a meal.

Because most recipes also come with several jobs and tools, parents or educators can assign responsibilities to different children. One kid can be in charge of the recipe. Another kid might be responsible for the measuring cups or measuring spoons. There might be a child entirely in charge of setting and watching timers.

Kitchens come ready-made with tools that teach responsibility.

Reorganize the Workspace

Maybe a classroom, a playroom, or a reading area isn’t the most sensible layout and has the potential for restructuring. Children can learn a lot about taking responsibility for their own space if the following question is raised: “How would you reorganize this space?”

Students can learn higher cognitive skills from an exercise involving reorganizing their classroom or workspace. They will need to practice planning in order to think about making changes to the current layout. Reorganizing might involve negotiation and compromise if one kid has one idea and another kid has a different idea.

The end result will be rewarding to all children involved. They get to feel like they were responsible for a positive change in their environment.

Animal Care

If there is a class pet or animal at home, then caring for the animal will help teach responsibility. Children will have to learn how to make adjustments in their schedules to take care of the animal. There are also lessons in remembering to keep to a schedule. Caring for an animal comes with a sense of responsibility since a child’s actions affect the well-being of another living thing. Children can also learn community interaction skills if the whole class bears responsibility for the class pet.

Corporate Garden

Similar to caring for an animal, planting a garden as a class, or at home, helps children learn how to take responsibility for their actions. This activity requires that they pay attention to the care and needs of the plants, attending to the everyday requirements of weeding and watering. Children will need to think about how the weather might affect their garden. They might have to take responsibility for creating shelter for the plants or checking the soil. Gardens teach time management skills as well as working memory.

Teaching Responsibility

It’s important to teach a child how to take responsibility for their actions. By using games and activities that teach accountability, teachers and parents can help children develop higher cognitive skills. It is also important to live the lessons being taught. Kids learn by example. If their teachers and parents demonstrate responsible behaviors, children will likely model them too.

At Soul Shoppe we teach social and emotional skills to students, educators, and parents. Click for more information on our SEL programs for elementary schools and social-emotional homeschool electives.

How To Teach Social Skills

It’s good to review appropriate social skills with children frequently. As adults, it’s been a long time since we’ve learned appropriate social skills, and we might take for granted that social skills are obvious, when to a child they might not be.

As far as teachable skills go, social skills have an advantage in the classroom. Learning how to socialize in a diverse environment can help skills grow and they will get stronger with practice. Additionally, there are ways to practice them virtually.

How to Teach Social Skills to a Child in the Classroom

The method for deciding how to teach social skills to a student is similar to teaching other skills. It also has differences.

Teaching social skills to a child is the same as teaching other skills in that it requires demonstration, imitation, and repetition. After all, that’s how we teach math or reading skills.

Designing how to teach social skills is a different process in its particulars.

In order to do it well, an educator must follow the interests of the child. Children come from different backgrounds, and an educator must adjust and respond to this.

An educator must learn to ask the right questions, discovering what social skills the child needs to strengthen and which ones they already understand.

Roleplaying can be a powerful tool for an educator who teaches social skills to elementary school students. With demonstrations of example scenarios, children can practice social skills in controlled settings.

A more complicated, but essential, aspect of teaching social skills to a child includes teaching empathy. Asking questions like, “Can you imagine how that makes them feel?” will encourage this.

Children have not yet learned all the coping skills that they will eventually need, and social skills involve so many emotions that they will inevitably create strong emotions. Work within the limitations of the students involved. Practicing to the point of frustration can hinder results. (Harvard)

In the end, the most important aspect of teaching social skills is being a good role model. Children learn so much by watching that the most powerful teaching aid for any educator is their own behavior.

List of Social Skills to Teach

It’s important not to assume that social skills might come naturally to someone. No one knows the assumptions by which anyone else is raised, and it is the responsibility of educators to create a setting where children can learn the skills they need to prepare for a rewarding life.

When deciding how to teach social skills to students, begin with a list of subjects. Treat it like any other discipline. Here is a list of subjects to help you get started:

Sharing. For some children, sharing their thoughts and feelings doesn’t come naturally. Or, they might be nervous about sharing thoughts and feelings. Additionally, they might not know when it’s socially acceptable or appropriate. Encouraging sharing is like granting permission, which helps to foster this.
Listening. Children typically have the natural ability to absorb what’s going on around them. However, not all children have a natural instinct to quietly listen and pay attention to the people around them. You can use listening skills activities such as those outlined here, to help children develop these skills.
Following directions. Cooperating with community expectations is a large part of developing social skills. Children shouldn’t necessarily learn to follow instructions without thinking, but it’s valuable to learn how to cooperate with the goals of the group and recognize when an authority figure has a reasonable direction for their goals.
Collaborating and cooperating. Children must learn to collaborate and cooperate with their peers. This is a large aspect of creating strong social skills. It’s valuable for children to learn how to respect and participate in community activities. We provide some ideas for cooperative games for kids here.
Patience. This is an important skill and can be particularly challenging to develop in a world of instant gratification. Many social situations require waiting calmly and graciously. Intentionally slowing some things down in the classroom and creating situations where children must wait will help them practice patience.
Empathy. Understanding how others may feel and the ability to consider these feelings is a pillar of social awareness. Teaching empathy can be incorporated through everyday interactions and through planned activities. We provide some ideas here.
Respecting boundaries. We don’t necessarily need to know why people have certain boundaries. However, it’s important children learn to respect the boundaries that people set.
Positivity. It’s amazing how powerful it can be to put a positive spin on realities and how much this can improve social interactions.

For some children, a few of these social skills will seem intuitive. When deciding how to teach social skills to a child, it’s important to recognize that not all social skills are intuitive, and yet all social skills should be learned and exercised. (Homer)

Teaching Social Skills Virtually

Life Skills for Children

The classroom is a place where children learn both how to think and how to behave. Nurturing social and emotional skills helps to shape child behavior. It also helps to promote the long-term success of a child.

In academia, some “softer” life skills necessary for living a rewarding life are referred to as executive function and self-regulation. These are terms that refer to skills like focus, switching focus, and coping with distractions. They also refer to self-control, working memory, and mental flexibility.

These soft skills are important life skills children will grow up and use to function well in society, hold a job, and connect with peers.

Additionally, these core skills provide the underpinnings for other life skills like empathy and acceptance, or social skills like politeness and cooperation. All of these skills help children to thrive in group settings while building confidence in themselves. Exercises designed to encourage children to practice empathy, acceptance, politeness, cooperation, etc., create opportunities for children to develop core skills of executive function and self-regulation.

Teaching activities that promote life skills for children can be incorporated into the classroom or implemented at home. These activities can help prepare children for success.

Examples of Life Skills Activities

There are many life skills activities educators and parents can incorporate into the education of the children in their care. Educators might find it more useful to tailor life skills activities to the specific needs of the children in their particular classrooms. It’s not only possible to do this, it might prove essential in many cases. Different groups of children have different specific needs, and the principles of teaching core skills will be similar. Here are a few examples to give educators and parents a place to start thinking about designing life skills activities for primary school children:

Bake a Snack

Every aspect of baking contributes positively to a child’s development. It gives a child a sense of accomplishment and gratification that they can do something both positive and constructive for themselves. Baking provides an opportunity for children to practice patience and to practice recognizing the connection between actions and results. Bonus: make it a group activity and build in chances for children to cultivate social skills and communication.

Learn Emergency Numbers

There are a lot of things considered by adults to be common knowledge. As a result, it can be a worrying thing for a child to feel unprepared. Helping children with knowledge such as the numbers for their local police departments and fire departments can provide a sense of security.

Learn to Use Simple Tools

Understanding the use of tools, like screwdrivers and socket wrenches, fosters a broader understanding of how the world is put together. It encourages imagination in addition to providing a sense of self-reliance.

Grow Plants from Seeds

Growing plants from seeds provides children a chance to cultivate patience and sustained attention over weeks. Furthermore, growing living things provides an opportunity for children to develop nurturing instincts towards other living things. Make it a group activity and give children a chance to practice mutual accountability and working together.

Sew Buttons on Clothes

Culturally, many of us are getting further and further away from the source of our commodities. We don’t typically think about where our stuff comes from. As a result, children might develop a sense that if their stuff breaks they can’t do anything about it. Learning a skill like putting buttons back on clothes provides children with the opportunity to learn that they can take care of their things. In turn, this creates a sense of confidence and contribution.

Play Games as a Group

We know that playing is an integral part of childhood learning. Additionally, when children play in a group they learn social skills and how to cooperate with others. Pull out a board game, play charades in teams, or enhance listening skills with the game of telephone. Because social emotional skills are so important in a child’s development, interacting with peers in a cooperative setting promotes important life skills.

Teaching Life Skills in Primary School

It’s important to prepare children in multiple areas of life. The whole concept of life skills may include practical skills, social skills, and academic skills which all prepare children for success in adulthood. Here are some activities you can implement to enhance social emotional life skills:

Teaching Respect Activities

Self-Esteem Group Activities

Cooperative Games for Kids

Self Care Activities for Students

Social Skills Activities for Kids

Listening Skills Activities

Conflict Resolution Activities for Kids

When educators need assistance with lessons that encourage core skills like executive function and self-regulation, Soul Shoppe helps with online SEL programs. Soul Shoppe encourages empathy and emotional awareness in children. Whether helping in the classroom or assisting parents at home, Soul Shoppe brings social skills to the forefront of the discussion. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools or our parent support programs.

Listening Skills Activities for Students

Listening skills are an important communication tool that requires practice. It is important to distinguish between listening and hearing, as they are not the same. Many people can recall the sound of rain or music, for example. However, listening to them requires active listening skills. According to Maryville University, active listening requires, “attention, comprehension of the message relayed, and recollection of what’s been said.” This skill is vital for teamwork, problem-solving, leadership, and conflict resolution for kids (Oxford). Listening skills activities teach children to actively listen.

What is Active Listening

Children listening - listening skills activities

Active listening is crucial to learning. These skills are necessary at home and in the classroom. Active listening is defined as giving full attention to the speaker and understanding the complete message that was sent (Oxford). This means understanding both verbal and nonverbal cues. There are four main types of active listening. They include:

Appreciative Listening

This type of listening occurs when we pay close attention to what’s said and then respond to the speaker. The listener must actively listen and respond appropriately.

Empathetic Listening

Empathetic listening involves hearing another person discuss their problems. It is also known as therapeutic listening. Empathetic listening means giving supportive cues, such as eye contact, and exhibiting empathy.

Comprehensive Listening

When we listen without judgment to the speaker’s perspective, we are using comprehensive listening skills. We pay attention to nonverbal and verbal cues. Some of these clues include body language and tone. This type of listening builds trust, friendships, and community.

Critical Listening

We use critical listening when we analyze carefully and without bias. This type often occurs when separating facts from opinions. We often do this when we are offered a product or service (Oxford).

These four main types of active listening can be taught to children through activities.

Active Listening Benefits

Class raising hands to answer a question

There are numerous benefits to learning active listening skills. Firstly, students have better comprehension when they actively listen. By paying full attention to the speaker and deeply listening, students retain information. This improves their academic performance in every area, as well as their productivity. In addition, they are typically better critical and mindful thinkers. In short, active listening skills provide enormous cognitive benefits.

Additionally, students improve socially when their communication skills progress. They can resolve conflicts with their classmates and advocate for themselves. This helps reduce disruptions in the classroom and promotes positive action. Good listeners tend to be better liked and have stronger relationships. Therefore, providing listening exercises for students is beneficial in any classroom or home environment.

Listening Activities for Students

KWL Chart

This stands for “Know, Want to Know, and Learned.” Make a chart using a large paper or a whiteboard with three columns labeled K, W, and L. Introduce students to a topic and then listen to what they already know about it. Write highlights of what they know under the “K” section. Encourage students to brainstorm about what they would like to know about the topic. Write their thoughts under the “W” section. Next, give students the vocabulary and background information they will need to understand the topic. Prompt students to listen for 1-2 specific items. Include tone, details, and emotions when teaching. Lastly, have students tell you what they learned and then complete the chart under the “L” section. Provide a follow-up activity such as crafts, writing prompts, or group discussions (Colorado State).

Simon Says

This classic game is perfect for teaching active listening skills. Students have to pay close attention to the speaker. One person stands in front of the classroom and says the task the rest of the class must perform. Then, students have to quickly perform the activity. However, they can only do it if the speaker says, “Simon Says.” If those words aren’t used, the children doing the activity are “out” for that game.

Telephone

This game is great for kids from preschool up to high school. In this game, the teacher or a student makes up an appropriate phrase or sentence. Then the message is whispered to the next student until it is passed around by the entire class. The goal is to have the correct message revealed at the end. This game shows students the importance of active listening and is a fun way to hone their skills.

Group Story

In this game, students actively listen to everyone’s ideas. One person starts by saying a few words (1-3 works well for younger students, 3-5 for older students). Then the next person adds to it, based on what was said in the previous sentence. For example, if one student says, “My pet bunny,” the next person should say something like, “likes eating carrots.” The goal of the activity is for students to listen and repeat the full story at the end.

Mindful Meditation

Have students sit or lay down quietly. Utilize mindfulness in the classroom activities such as guided meditation or a mindful body scan as discussed here. This helps teach students to listen and focus.

Sound Scavenger Hunt

This game can be conducted in several different ways. Scavenger hunts can be inside or outside. In this activity, children hunt for sounds. Have children sit quietly and try to focus on the sounds they hear and identify the sound. They can move around the room and pinpoint sounds, or they can find sounds outdoors. The sounds can be as specific or general as you wish. (Waterford).

Copycat

This game involves having students actively listen and then kinesthetically respond. A teacher or student can stand at the front of the classroom to begin. A simple movement is best to start, such as clapping hands or snapping fingers. Whatever the appointment leader does, the rest of the class imitates (Seattle Education). You can make this activity more challenging by performing multiple gestures at once or a sequence of gestures, which requires more attention to repeat.

Some listening skills activities take 5 minutes or less. They are a quick way to sharpen students’ cognitive skills. Active listening exercises for students promote success. Although it can be difficult to make the time, the benefits far outweigh the time spent.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs, including mindfulness, inclusivity, allyship, conflict resolution strategies for students, and more. Click here to learn more about SEL programs for elementary schools.

What is Mindfulness

The practice of mindfulness was developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn over 30 years ago. This practice is also known as Mindful Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). It is defined as: “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.” (Child Mind Institute) This mindfulness practice is well known for teaching children to focus on the present moment while easing anxiety.

Benefits of Mindfulness

The benefits of mindfulness in the classroom are vast. School environments may present stressful situations for children, both socially and academically. However, these stressors can be mitigated with mindfulness. Furthermore, studies have shown that learning mindfulness helps increase students’ focus, which helps them academically, while also helping them avoid negative behaviors (Harvard).

One study, conducted by researchers at the Boston Charter Research Collaborative, showed incredible promise. The researchers included staff from MIT, Harvard, and others. They studied 6th graders who learned mindfulness in an 8-week course. The results showed that the students who participated in the research study had lower stress, and were more able to focus and regulate their emotions. Brain scans also demonstrated that the part of the brain that responds to stress had responded less to stressful stimuli.

In a similar study, Stanford University studied students in 4th to 6th grade over 8 weeks of mindfulness training. They found that the participants had significant decreases in anxiety, and were less emotionally reactive. Additionally, students felt more able to handle challenges in their daily life, and also felt control over their behavior. Lastly, like the Harvard study, students had increased focus and experienced a sense of well-being (Child Mind Institute).

These results are so important because it shows that children thrive academically and emotionally when they are able to focus and be present. Reducing anxiety and stress increases students’ ability to focus and retain information, which is critical to their success. On a social-emotional level, children experience more acceptance and positive interactions with mindfulness. By avoiding negative behaviors and reactive emotions, their interactions with peers and teachers improve. This fosters a rich dynamic where students can grow academically, socially, and emotionally. Therefore, a mindfulness curriculum can play an important part in the classroom.

Mindfulness in the Classroom Activities

children in a classroom - mindfulness in the classroom

How can you teach mindfulness in the classroom? There are numerous ways to incorporate mindfulness activities. Many of them take 5 minutes or less and provide an excellent start to each students’ day. Here are some mindfulness in the classroom activities you can incorporate into your classroom:

1. Guided Meditation

This is surprisingly easy with apps that do the work for you. Have students sit or lie down with the lights dimmed, and encourage all students to participate in a guided meditation. If students do not want to participate, simply have them sit quietly. Praise the students who did the activity and ease back into the classroom setting by discussing how they feel afterward (VeryWellMind).

2. Guided Activities

One example of a guided activity is to have students mindfully eat a raisin or piece of fruit (Vanderbilt). Students can touch, look at, and chew a raisin for a full 5-10 minutes. This activity encourages self-awareness and increases their attention span. Additionally, this activity can teach children to slow down and appreciate life moment to moment. Students can journal afterward about the experience or discuss it in a large group.

3. Journal Writing

This activity is appropriate for children ages 6 and up. However, younger children can draw pictures instead. Appropriate writing prompts can include questions such as: what are three beautiful things you heard today? Or, what are three urges you resisted today? For older students, these prompts can become even more thought-provoking and challenging to get them thinking introspectively. (Positive Psychology).

4. Mindful Breathing

Teaching students breathing techniques is another great way to teach mindfulness. Helping students to focus on their breathing is an important technique for stress reduction. Students can sit or stand, and inhale air through the nose for 3 seconds, hold for 2, and exhale for 4 out of the mouth. For best results, it is important that students stay focused and aware of their breath and how they feel during the exercise (Berkeley).

5. Mindful Body Scan

In this activity, students should either sit or lie down. This activity begins with focusing on breathing to relax. Then, students are asked to relax their bodies bit by bit. Instruct them to start at their feet and move upwards slowly to their head, until every part of their body is relaxed. It requires concentration and commitment, and rewards students with deep relaxation while providing relief from stress and anxiety. (University of Minnesota).

Vary mindfulness activities to help students stay engaged and focused.

Mindfulness curriculum does not have to take long—in fact, just 5-10 minutes a day. The time spent on these activities is often returned, as student behaviors and focus are improved. Less time is needed to address behavioral issues. This allows the teacher to teach and the students to learn. By providing mindfulness in the classroom, we empower children to be successful socially, emotionally, and academically. That is worth a few minutes each day!

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs, including SEL programs for elementary schools, and programs on mindfulness, inclusivity, allyship, conflict resolution strategies for students, and more.

You May Also Like:

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Sources:

Child Mind Institute, Harvard, HelpGuide Harvard, Positive Psychology, Stanford, University of Minnesota, Vanderbilt, VeryWellMind

Pandemic Effects on Children

The pandemic has caused major disruptions in routines and social activities for children. These disruptions have led to social isolation and a crisis that is reaching into 2022.

Many children have missed their sports games, music lessons, birthday parties, and other activities. At the same time, they’ve been kept from friends and family, making it more difficult for them to enjoy much needed social support. All this has taken a toll on children’s social and emotional health. Additionally, it has affected their academic performance and led to a stark situation overall.

It is imperative that adults understand the pandemic effects on children. The more clearly we see the big picture and its overall effects on kids, the more we can help them cope with the changes and difficulties they have faced. Our ability to relate to their current trauma can improve the accuracy and effectiveness with which we embolden children with resilience and the ability to navigate the unknown.

In this article, we will explain pandemic effects on children and provide strategies to help you support your kids at home.

What are the Pandemic Effects on Children

Childhood Development

child in mask - pandemic effects on children

The pandemic effects on children are broad and far-reaching. Children have been one of the most adversely impacted demographics internationally, as they have experienced disruptions, fear, and social isolation during a most vulnerable time in their lives.

Some skills that can only be developed in the company of other children have been disrupted. For younger children especially, the inability to access daycare and play dates has been problematic. Being separated from their peers and teachers has slowed their social and emotional development. For older children, the isolation has made it harder to build vital relationships (Children’s Hospitals).

According to Children’s Hospitals, the main list of childhood development skills being interrupted by the pandemic include:

Self and social awareness
Learning to have positive relationships
Self regulation
Good decision making
Problem solving

Also at risk are learning skills, which have been halted abruptly with the need for distance learning. COVID has affected every child; it’s resulted in a collective traumatic event.

Academics

Children have been unable to regularly attend school in person. Consequently, they have fallen behind academically.

During the first year of the pandemic (2020), children’s grades and ability to learn new information began to decline. Unfortunately, they have not yet caught up in 2022.

One study by the NWEA studied 8th graders. They found that 1out of 3 8th graders are testing at lower levels than normal in both math and reading (NY Times). Additionally, the students whose test scores are suffering most are Black, Hispanic, and living near or under the poverty level. According to Michael Petrilli of the Thomas B. Fordham Institute, “We haven’t seen this kind of academic crisis in living memory” (NY Times).

Behavior Problems at School

Although many people believe that children’s lives have gone back to normal since being allowed to go back to school on a limited basis, they have not.

Our “new normal” is rife with uncertainty, less social interaction, and a sense of loss. As a result, behavior problems in school have increased. Children have struggled in a variety of ways. Some have become more aggressive and started fights in both the classroom and online. Similarly, some children have taken up swearing while others are vandalizing their schools. Still others are running out of their classrooms as a result of built-up pressure and panic attacks, or have stopped participating in class altogether.

School used to be a haven for many students. Over the course of the pandemic, they have become microcosms of international chaos caused by the pandemic.

Furthermore, practices such as making children sit apart from their friends at lunchtime, social distancing at school, and fear of the virus are making the situation worse. According to the NY Times, the car rides to and from school have even become fear-laden since they have been recognized as an opportunity for the virus to infect children.

The trade off of protecting children from the virus at the expense of their academic and social development is wreaking havoc on our children’s emotional well-being.

Mental Health

Students’ mental health has suffered. Being isolated from their friends, activities, and routines has had a profound effect. In addition, as economic effects worsened, families are experiencing a greater degree of poverty. In turn, children are witnessing more family stress. The culmination of these adverse consequences of the pandemic has led to a large increase in anxiety and depression.

It was reported in one study in late 2020 that 22% of children showed increased signs of depression, anxiety, and stress (KFF). At the same time, children have had less access to mental health services so parents have had to bring their ailing children to emergency rooms in the midst of a mental health crisis.

As a result, the American Academy of Pediatrics declared a national state emergency for children’s mental health. This was based on the number of emergency room visits for mental health crises.

At the same time, suicide attempts have risen primarily in children aged 12 to 17 (KFF). In particular, the number of ER visits for suspected suicide rose by 51% for girls aged 12-17 since 2019 (NY Times). For younger children aged 5-11, there was a 22% increase in ER visits for mental health (Yale Medicine). It’s evident that children are suffering greatly from the pandemic.

In the midst of this chaos, there are ways to help re-establish order and safety for your children at home.

How to Support Children at Home

There is a wide variety of activities that can help support your child’s cognitive and behavioral development at home during the pandemic. Here are 5 activities you can complete in less than 10 minutes a day.

1. Teaching emotional intelligence by labeling emotions.

Help them label their feelings, and then empathize with why they feel that way. If they need help, offer words to help them articulate their feelings. Questions such as, “Do you think you feel frustrated or angry, or sad?” will help them label their feelings.

2. Encourage self care activities for mental health.

Teaching your children the tenets of self-care is an important way to combat anxiety and depression. Activities such as having a dance party at home, drawing or painting, or taking a hot bubble bath are all useful. There are many self-care activities you can incorporate into your daily routine at home depending on your family’s time limitations.

3. Teach your children how to adapt to change.

The pandemic has increased stress on children. As a result, teaching your kids how to adapt to change is an important tool. Keep routines at home as consistent as possible and discuss change before it happens, if you can. Acknowledge your children’s worries and fears, and allow them to feel their emotions (WISC). It can be helpful to write a list of to-do’s for each day with your child so they know what to expect.

4. Work on mindfulness with your children.

Mindfulness is very effective at lowering stress. It teaches children to accept and pay attention to what is occurring in the present moment. This, in turn, helps them face daily challenges. There are many apps that teach mindfulness practices. There are also age-appropriate activities provided on numerous child development websites.

5. Utilize positive parenting tips.

For as long as the pandemic lasts it is crucial to be supportive of children at home. We recommend parents utilize positive parenting tips. These help children cope, build emotional skills, and adapt during difficult times. Chief among these tips is nurturing your children and building connections with them so they know they can come to you with their questions, concerns, and burdens.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for schools. homes, and businesses. In addition, we teach a variety of self-care activities. Please reach out to us with questions.

You May Also Like:

Effects of Social Isolation on Children

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Sources: Children’s Hospitals, KFF, Positive Psychology, WISC, Yale Medicine

Positive Parenting Tips

Parenting is one of the most rewarding jobs in life. However, it can also be one of the most challenging. Because children do not come with instructions, it is up to parents to learn the parenting style that works best for them.

There are several parenting methods that help children develop into successful, happy adults. However, others can leave children feeling anxious with low self-esteem. That’s why we suggest the positive parenting method. It helps children become capable and resilient while bonding them to their caregiver. Although some people consider this a “fluffy” way to parent—it is not. Rather, it is effective in holding children accountable for their actions in age-appropriate ways. This system uses clear expectations and rewards to empower children to make responsible decisions.

In this article, we will detail what positive parenting is and how it benefits children. We’ll also provide positive parenting tips.

What is Positive Parenting

The movement for positive parenting began in the 1900s. Previously, it was believed that children should be “seen but not heard.” However, psychotherapist Alfred Adler declared that children should be treated with dignity and respect. He also declared that children should not be spoiled. Otherwise, they would be riddled with self-entitlement and would be devoid of empathy. Furthermore, Adler asserted that children need connections to adults and an emotionally safe environment to thrive. These ideas helped form the positive parenting method.

This style of parenting focuses on several ideas. Some of the most important include:

Parenting children in age-appropriate ways
Being sensitive to children’s needs, temperament, and developmental stage (Parenting for Brain)
Nurturing children emotionally
Having clear boundaries and limits
Building connections with children
Understanding that misbehaviors are underlying symptoms of problems. They are simply a cry for help. Once underlying symptoms are identified and dealt with, problem behaviors will cease (Positive Parenting Solutions)
The idea that a misbehaving child is not bad, mean, uncontrollable, or defiant
Having empathy for children and showing consistent love and warmth
Focusing on the children’s best interests
Rewarding good behavior and accomplishments
Having clear communication between parents and children (Positive Psychology)
Building children’s self-esteem and independence

Benefits of Positive Parenting

Research strongly supports positive parenting. In a 7 year-long study in 1997, researchers studied this method. Researchers examined supportive parenting (positive parenting) and contrasted it with less supportive parenting styles. The supportive style was defined as parent and child warmth, proactive teaching, positive involvement, and inductive discipline. Less supportive styles were harsher and had colder interactions between parent and child.

The study showed that the positive parenting style increased school performance and led to fewer behavioral problems. Furthermore, this type of parenting actually mitigated the impact of trauma and child stress (Positive Parenting). Supportive parenting was also able to overcome adversities such as single parenting, divorce, poverty, and more.

Similarly, a study on emotional coaching by Bath Spa University discovered positive outcomes for families trained by emotional coaches. Parents reported an average of 79% improvement in children’s behaviors. (Positive Parenting).

Additional research has shown that positive parenting improves social-emotional development. In fact, children increase their emotional, physical, and behavioral health. At the same time, problem behaviors, such as aggression and hyperactivity, are reduced. These benefits are shown as early as 1.5-3 years of age. Benefits last a lifetime as children have a better chance of academic success. (NCT).

The research overwhelmingly shows that positive parenting works.

Positive Parenting Tips

Here are some positive parenting tips that will enhance your relationship with your child and encourage their success.

Teach children to self-regulate when upset. For example, if they receive a bad grade on a test, empathize with them. Say things like, “I can imagine that must be very frustrating. You must feel upset.” Hugs are appropriate if the child wants one. Respect their bodily autonomy if they do not. Also, do not try to fix the situation for them by calling their teacher. Instead, encourage your child to brainstorm ways to help themselves.
Model behavior that you wish to see. When frustrated, count to 10 out loud, or take a 5-minute break. If children disrupt your self-regulation time, respond calmly. Tell them, “Mommy is taking a 5-minute break to calm down. I will help you when I am done.” (Colorado Parent)
Catch children behaving well. Too often we focus on what our children are doing wrong. Instead, watch for opportunities when children are doing what they are supposed to do. Then reward them with verbal praise, a sticker on a reward chart, or other methods. For example, if a child is playing nicely with their sibling, be sure to use specific praise. Say, “I love the way you are sharing when playing together. That’s exactly what I like to see!” (NCT)
Don’t just say “no” to their requests. If they ask to go to the park but it’s impossible to go, then use other words. For example, say “I’d love to take you now but I have to work. I can take you tomorrow instead.”
Use distraction tactics. Distraction tactics are an excellent behavior management tool in positive parenting. They help prevent meltdowns or negative behaviors. For example, if a child is getting ready to knock over another child’s toy building, use this technique. Give the child alternative things to do, such as a different activity. Also, it could be a signal that they have energy to burn. Taking them to the park is a better option than allowing the events to unfold and then punishing them later. (NCT)
Take care of yourself as a parent. Parenting is a difficult job, and it’s important for caregivers to use self-care methods. This helps ensure parents are the best version of themselves for their children. A hot bath, spending time in nature, taking time out with friends, and other strategies are important for self-care.

The goal of parenting is to offer children ways to develop into healthier, independent, and successful adults. These positive parenting tips are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to positive parenting successfully.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for parents, schools, and businesses.

Sources:

Colorado Parent, NCT, Parenting for Brain, Positive Parenting Solutions, Positive Psychology

Positive Thinking Exercises

Young children tend to have psychological elasticity, and they can handle a lot. Believe it or not, childhood is the ideal time for kids to learn as many positive thinking exercises and coping mechanisms as possible.

With a foundation in positive thinking techniques, children will have a better chance of living more fulfilling and successful lives. Positive thinking is connected with lower rates of depression, longer life spans, less distress, and psychological and physical well-being. (Mayo Clinic) As a result, it’s important to routinely incorporate positive thinking exercises for students into the curriculum.

Positive Thinking Exercises

Positive Reframing and Evidence-Based Reappraisal

One of the more powerful lessons that students can learn at school is the different ways of processing information and experiences. The power of perspective is among the skills that students can use to cultivate positive thinking.

Reappraisal is an essential positive thinking technique. Two valuable reappraisal strategies for positive thinking techniques are positive reframing and examining evidence.

Positive Reframing

One positive thinking technique for students is positive reframing. (Harvard) When children encounter negative experiences or challenging situations, it can be a powerful way to reframe their experiences in a positive way. For instance, when a student doesn’t do as well as they’d hoped on a piece of homework, they might be inclined to think of that experience as a failure.

Positively reframing that experience creates a learning opportunity. A grade that doesn’t quite meet a child’s hopes and expectations indicates where a student needs to improve in upcoming assignments. However, it also indicates the areas where a student is doing well. Positively reframing the experience of getting a different grade than they expected could ultimately help that student figure out how to improve.

It can be challenging for students to think of something positive about a situation that seems negative. However, with some practice, children can learn how to find things to feel grateful for. Feeling gratitude is a great way to stoke the flames of positive thinking.

Examining Evidence

Another positive thinking exercise for students is examining evidence. (Harvard) Typically, reacting emotionally comes as a first instinct. This is especially true for children who haven’t had as many experiences making decisions before they react. As a result, many students will react emotionally without considering the evidence. In many cases, a perceived negative outcome is the result of complex thinking.

This positive thinking exercise for students is meant to help them pause and consider aspects of an experience that they might not instinctively take into consideration. Once they begin to develop a habit of examining the evidence produced by a perceived negative situation, then it will be possible to start teaching positive thinking techniques.

For example, suppose a student doesn’t obtain the grade on a piece of homework that they would like to achieve. It can be a discouraging experience, and a student’s first instinct might be to view it as an unfair reflection of them.

A reexamination of the evidence, however, might reveal that the student has some areas for improvement in their studying techniques, maybe, or in their decisions about where to place more energy studying in the future.

Reappraisal is a powerful positive thinking technique for students. As educators, it is of paramount importance to instill that even when they can’t control outcomes, they can always control their reactions to those outcomes.

Other Positive Thinking Exercises and Positive Thinking Activities for Students

classroom discussion. positive thinking exercises

Reappraisal is an effective strategy for students to learn the skill of positive thinking. However, reappraisal also necessitates abstract thinking and abstract conversation. Therefore, children might learn positive thinking strategies more easily from salient activities instead of abstract concepts.

Designing positive thinking activities for students will require different approaches for each and every unique classroom. Here are a few ideas to get educators started.

Finding Examples of Forgiveness

For this activity, students will find an example of forgiveness from a movie or book. In order to contribute to a classroom discussion, students will explain why they believe they have found a good example of forgiveness, and they will go on to give a brief explanation as to why their example speaks to them.

The purpose of this positive thinking activity is to provide students with an opportunity to practice slowing their anxious thoughts down to examine each situation. At the same time, it will provide children with a chance to think about the intricacies of forgiveness from more than one perspective.

Finding and Naming Benefits

In this positive thinking exercise, children are asked to think about an experience they had that they didn’t enjoy. Then through guided conversation, the children are asked to think about whether they experienced any positive effects from the experience they didn’t enjoy. Children then name specific benefits.

This positive thinking exercise encourages children to think about experiences along longer timelines. The benefit of this activity is learning to think about experiences as thoroughly as possible and to approach them with different perspectives.

Positive Reminiscences

Like any other life skill, positive thinking is something we can practice. In this exercise, students will tell a story of something they enjoyed, either as a writing exercise or verbally in a class discussion. Encourage students to reflect on things they find particularly fond of in the memory.

The benefit of this positive thinking strategy for students is the practical nature of practicing a positive thought process. If students have more opportunities to repeat positive thoughts, then they’ll be able to practice the act of thinking positively about new experiences when they encounter them.

Positive Thinking Techniques for Students

Students can learn to change their thinking by focusing on positive aspects of their experiences. If children can learn positive thinking strategies in the classroom, it will better prepare them for seeing the positive aspects of new experiences as they grow and age. The result is that children will be better prepared for life’s hurdles and more likely to appreciate the good things around them.

When educators need assistance with lessons that encourage social emotional development, Soul Shoppe helps with online SEL programs. Soul Shoppe encourages empathy and emotional awareness in children. Whether helping in the classroom or assisting parents at home, Soul Shoppe brings social skills to the forefront of the discussion. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools or our parent support programs.

What is Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is characterized by the ability to look inward and clarify our values, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses. It allows us to evaluate whether our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors align with our values. When they don’t, we can improve our behavior through self-correction. When they do, we experience the pleasure of cognitive consonance, which reinforces the agreement between our actions and values.

Additionally, when we are self-aware, we can understand our effect on others. If we are negatively impacting those around us, we can adjust our behaviors. Conversely, we can continue behaviors that serve others well and benefit our relationships.

Self-awareness also leads to accurately determining how others perceive us. This crucial understanding helps children develop self-esteem.

Each facet of self-awareness helps children develop appropriately throughout their lives.

Types of Self-Awareness Skills

There are two different types of self-awareness: public and private.

Private self-awareness relates to how we reflect on ourselves internally.

People who have a strong sense of private self-awareness are conscious of their thoughts and feelings. When they feel some ambiguity concerning their beliefs, they can use mindfulness skills to cultivate greater self-awareness.

Private self-awareness is associated with higher job and relationship satisfaction and relief from anxiety, stress, and depression (HBR). Children who experience private self-awareness can maintain a state of peace within themselves by being present and noticing thoughts and feelings objectively. One example of this self-awareness includes being aware that you tense up during phone calls and then choosing cognitive behavioral actions to release that tension (BetterUp).

The second type of self-awareness is public self-awareness.

Public self-awareness relates to our ability to notice how we appear to others. By developing a strong sense of interpersonal consciousness, we can help strengthen our work relationships and job prospects. We can do this by adjusting our behaviors and appearance to adhere to social norms and behave in socially expected ways (BetterUp).

There is, of course, a balance between being aware of what others think and worrying too much about others’ perceptions. The key to a healthy amount of self-awareness lies in our ability to recognize our strengths and challenges accurately.

Benefits of Self-Awareness Skills

There are many benefits to self-awareness. Some of the most common are listed below:

We become more confident and more creative (Harvard Business Review)
We have the strength to make better decisions
We build stronger relationships and communicate more effectively
Our self-esteem grows as we learn who we are and how others perceive us
We are more likely to receive promotions and to hold leadership positions
We are less likely to lie, cheat or steal
We tend to be more effective leaders with more satisfied employees (HBR)
We enjoy an improved sense of control
We experience freedom from biases and assumptions (BetterUp)

Self-Awareness Activities for Kids

We can help children develop self-awareness. Here are some easy activities you can implement into your students’ or children’s daily routines to enhance their self-awareness:

Have students keep a thought diary. They can record their feelings, thoughts, and emotions, as well as their emotional reactions to unexpected or significant events. (Positive Psychology)
Write a regret letter. Your student can write to her former self about any regrets she may be harboring, and forgive herself for making mistakes. This develops self-awareness and self-love.
Have students write a list of things they like about themselves. For example, “I am artistic” is perfect for younger students. Push harder for older students. Encourage them to list at least five things.
Have students create a goal they would like to reach within one year. Then, ask students to write down the steps they need to attain the goal. Afterward, encourage students to draw a picture of themselves succeeding. Revisit this project and celebrate the students who tried or succeeded at the end of the year.
Break students into small groups (no bigger than three). Have each student identify their strengths. Students can practice their listening skills and build confidence and cohesion within the group.

There are a plethora of ways to teach self-awareness skills. Whether you are teaching or parenting younger children or older students, Soul Shoppe also offers several courses and resources on this topic.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for schools, homes, and businesses. Contact us here.

What Is Self-Regulation?

Self-regulation is the ability to control one’s thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. This control is for the purpose of achieving long-term goals. It includes the ability to manage impulses and emotions without being overwhelmed. For example, self-regulation includes dealing with frustration or excitement in appropriate ways. Children are taught this skill in order to cope with strong emotions and to work towards a goal.

It is important that adults teach this skill. According to Duke University, “…supporting self-regulation development early in childhood is an investment in later success because stronger self-regulation predicts better performance in school, better relationships with others, and fewer behavioral difficulties.” Although this skill takes practice and patience while learning, the results are well worth it.

In this article, we will explore self-regulation milestones and list self-regulation strategies. Lastly, we’ll provide self-regulation activities that are easy to implement.

Self-Regulation Developmental Milestones

Learning self-regulation is an essential component of childhood development. Young babies communicate through crying to express feelings and thoughts. They are unable to regulate their emotions. When babies reach 12-18 months of age, they begin to become aware of social demands. As a result, they develop the ability to change their behavior with parental assistance. Parents can redirect their children and comfort them. This ability improves as children reach 2 years of age. Children start developing self-control even when parents aren’t around. In addition, they show an increased ability to follow behavioral norms. By 3 years of age, most children have some self-regulation strategies. Children are then able to build on past experiences, known as scaffolding, to improve their self-regulation (Child Development).

Self-Regulation Components

There are essential stepping stones in developing self-regulation. Children learn these building blocks over time:

Thinking before acting
Staying focused on a goal
Remaining calm when they feel upset
Paying attention and avoiding distractions
Patience- learning to wait for what they want
Cooperating with others
Adapting to change
Following social norms, even when they don’t like them

(Foothiills Academy)

These self-regulation stepping stones help children develop into happy, healthy individuals, so they can succeed not only academically, but in life.

Self-Regulation Strategies

self regulation stragies - two girls whispering

Teaching self-regulation strategies to children involves both the caregiver and the child. This is because the caregiver must model the strategies, as well as manage their own stress. When caregivers or teachers are overly stressed, it’s more difficult to demonstrate self-regulation skills.

Children will need adequate sleep and nutrition while learning these strategies. They’ll also need plenty of time for outdoor play. A warm, loving environment provided at home and at school will help children through the process.

Strategies include:

Reading books about feelings or different experiences. They can be discussed and used as learning examples.
Engaging in social learning lessons to improve social skills, communication, and vocabulary
Implementing listening activities to improve focus and concentration
Coaching self-regulation skills through modeling, instruction, skill enactment, and positive reinforcement (Duke).

Providing a structured environment with predictable routines will reinforce feelings of security and well-being. (Duke)

Self-Regulation Activities

Self-regulation activities will vary depending on the age of the child. Here is a list of activities, grouped by age.

Preschool-2nd Grade

Red Light, Green Light (Penn State)
Simon Says (Genius of Play)
Duck Duck Goose (Kid Spot)
Musical Chairs (Genius of Play)
Mindfulness activities, such as breathing techniques, guided meditation
Yoga poses and stretches (Reuters)
Listening to calming music
Helping children become self-reflective (Child Mind Institute)
Role-playing scenarios of how to deal with emotions and situations
Focus exercises, such as finding certain objects or colors and counting them (Positive Action).
Play Emotion-based Charades (Nebraska Dept of Ed.)
Teach self-love with mantras and positive sayings (Foothills Academy)

Keep everything grade appropriate and focus on giving positive reinforcement. For example, “I like how Jorge was sitting quietly and focusing on finding objects around the room!” This type of compliment is much more effective than saying, “Good job!” Giving detailed feedback helps children learn and motivates other children to try their best as well.

3rd-6th Grade

Create a feeling toolbox with an empty shoebox and 3×5 cards. Take 2-3 minutes to discuss a new feeling every day. Then have students write that emotion on their 3×5 card and decorate it with a picture of that feeling. Students can look through the boxes at any time to discuss how they feel. It can also include comfort items, such as ribbons, stones, sensory items, stress balls, journals, and more. (Nebraska Dept of Ed.)
Charades with triggers. Pick a feeling and then have the adult act out the situation that could trigger the feeling. Then have the child guess the situation. Afterward, reverse roles. (Nebraska Dept. of Ed.)
Provide a “cool down” area where children can go to self-regulate when they are emotional and overwhelmed. This area can have coloring pages, books, pen and paper, and more (Edutopia).
Check-in and check out. Check-in can be rolling or tossing a ball in a circle and taking turns. Students tell classmates something they did recently or share their own news. To check out, students tell others about what they liked or disliked about the day. (Nebraska Dept. of Ed.)
Read stories to teach self-awareness. Bring attention to events in the book where characters are dysregulated, and discuss how they could self-regulate. Ask questions at the end of the book about how well the characters coped with difficult situations (Penn State).
Journal with or without prompts (Penn State).
Teach children about their brain and how it responds to stressful stimuli. In addition, teach how the brain can self-regulate. By showing children how the process works, they can better understand why it is important to develop these skills. Also, it shows them their ability to regulate themselves (Foothills Academy).
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (Edutopia).
Teach children positive internal dialogues and why it is important to use them. Have children develop their own mantras (Positive Action).
Teach coping strategies to use at home or school. According to Foothills Academy, some strategies may include:

- Mental breaks (reading books, music, coloring)
- Physical breaks (yoga, dance, walking, stretching)
- Sensory experience (listening skills, touch with sensory toys)
- Spiritual break (yoga, mindfulness activities, positive mantras)
- Positive self-talk (affirmations)
- Social support (asking for help, peer groups, family or teacher connections)
- Grounding activities (deep breathing, slow counting, grounding exercise- 5 things they can see, 4 things they can hear, 3 things they can feel, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste). (Pearson)

Teachers and caregivers should give positive reinforcement for self-regulating behaviors. Similarly, refraining from punishing children who are trying to learn these skills is important. Children will make mistakes. Just be sure to evaluate them appropriately and follow through on classroom rules. Lastly, be sure to model the behavior that you wish to see. Children often learn through seeing and then perform a similar behavior. Be consistent and children will learn quickly!

6th-12th Grade

Have students journal each day. Students will choose a situation to write about. Instruct them to express the situation in detail. Additionally, they should write how the situation made them feel and how they coped with that feeling. If the situation was positive, have them think about how that success made them feel. This helps with the reflective process (Positive Action).
Daily or weekly check-in. Have students sit in a circle and roll a ball to a student that has not had a turn. Students can share news about themselves or their families or something they did recently (Nebraska Dept. of Ed.)
Play feeling detective: Have students teach adults about kids. Pick a feeling and ask kids to share ideas about how we can tell when students are feeling that way. What do they do with their bodies? What are their minds thinking about? What would they want to say? (Nebraska Dept. of Ed).
Teach progressive muscle relaxation. It has the ability to help treat anger and aggression in adolescents. In addition, it helps soothe the body and provide relief (Edutopia).
Have students set goals for themselves. They could be goals for academics, life, or that year. The goals should be reachable. Students and teachers quickly conference about the goals before they are written down. This helps students assume responsibility for themselves and builds self-efficacy. (Vanderbilt)
Teach students self-care. This builds self-esteem, resiliency, and helps students self-regulate (Wisconsin Dept. of Public Instruction).
Help teens learn to soothe themselves (Raising Children)
Teach children how to self-monitor progress and behavior (Harvard).
Implement mindfulness activities

Teenagers should have the opportunity to practice self-regulation skills. Because they are older, they will have developed some skills and should be able to implement them with success. Continue reinforcing positive self-regulation skills and give specific praise. Also, students of this age group should be given more opportunities to use self-regulation activities on their own.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs, including SEL programs for elementary schools, and programs on self-regulation, mindfulness, inclusivity, allyship, conflict resolution strategies for students, and more.

Sources:

Child Development, Child Mind Institute, Duke, Edutopia, Foothill Academy, Harvard, Nebraska Department of Education, PBS, Pearson, Penn State, Positive Action, Raising Children, Reuters, Vanderbilt

Self-Care Activities for Students

We know that social distancing, schedule changes, quarantine, and all-around uncertainties can take their toll on everyone, especially our little ones. It may feel like things are spiraling out of hand. In these times, it’s important to take care of yourself and to teach kids how to establish self-care activities of their own.

Take your arms and reach them out wide. Now wrap them around your chest and give yourself a big hug. You have just completed a simple self-care activity. Doesn’t that feel good?

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health, well-being, and happiness, particularly during periods of stress. Psychology Today adds that self-care is “the joy of recharging our tanks”. For adults, it can include going to the gym, a concert, or experiencing a quiet night at home. For children and young students there are easy activities that can help with their overall enjoyment of life and help them shrug off stress.

Self-Care Activities for Students

Go Outside

The weather can dictate how much we want to be outside, but studies show that being outside, even for a little bit, has massive benefits. If it’s snowing, have your little ones build a snowman. If it’s raining, build a paper boat and float it down the street. Or, if the sun is shining and the weather is nice, go for a walk and enjoy the world without electronics. Being outside can lower the stress hormone cortisol, raise endorphins, decrease depression and anxiety, and strengthen the immune system. Your self-care activity for students doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate when it’s right outside your door.

Let It Rain

Sometimes the stress builds up inside and makes students (and adults) feel like they might burst. Instead of trying to hold it all in, tell your kids that it’s okay to let it out. A good cry just might be the relief that is needed. Talk with your children about their emotions and why they are feeling this way. After the crying has finished, check on them again. Crying is shown to improve spirits and mood, stimulate the production of endorphins, and restore emotional balance.

Laughter Is the Best Medicine

Doctor Patch Adams said it best: Laughter enhances the blood flow to the body’s extremities and improves cardiovascular function. Laughter releases endorphins and other natural mood elevating and pain-killing chemicals, improves the transfer of oxygen and nutrients to internal organs. Laughter boosts the immune system and helps the body fight off disease, cancer cells as well as viral, bacterial and other infections. Being happy is the best cure of all diseases.

While telling someone who is stressed or overwhelmed to just “be happy” isn’t going to work (and possibly met with a severe glare), the facts are that laughter does help with elevating someone’s mood and reduces stress. Tell a joke to get that grin. Watch a silly show or movie to turn that frown upside down. A good chuckle, belly laugh, hy-yuck yuck, hee hee, ha ha will help alleviate any dampened mood. As far as self-care activities for students go, this one is easy and doesn’t cost a dime…only a smile.

Dance Your Cares Away

Sometimes words alone cannot express what’s going on inside. Our minds and mouths don’t seem to work as one and we are left without the ability to convey what is really going on. So what can children and adults do when words fail us? We can dance. Not a dancer? Dance anyway! No choreography? Dance anyway! Never took lessons? DANCE ANYWAY! Dancing isn’t just for the ballroom, the stage, the movies, or the superstars. Dance can help everyone to let loose and free themselves of their stress and worries.

Not only does dancing lower stress, but it’s also a workout that burns calories and improves cardiovascular health (that’s what’s called a two-fer). If you can’t seem to get your child to a dance studio, there are plenty of dancing games at home that the whole family can use. Games, such as Just Dance, have a wide variety of songs for all ages, so you can get that self-care for your students without them even knowing it. If a gaming system is out of the question, just pick any song and get groovin’! After the moves have been busted and the dance floor cleared, you will see a much-improved attitude and overall feeling in the room.

Eat Healthy Foods

Your students might be tired of hearing “eat your vegetables” or listening to talking points on the five food groups, but the truth is that healthy eating does fall in the realm of self-care. We aren’t talking about going on a diet, but rather taking into consideration what’s being put into our bodies. If a student is observed with stress or fatigue, a proper meal may be the key to lifting their spirits and energy levels.

Stress can affect how your body processes foods and absorbs water. This can lead to feelings of fatigue or lagging. Adopting a proper meal plan can greatly improve spirit and health. A variety of fruits and vegetables along with proper hydration is a self-care activity for students that everyone can get behind.

Find Your Path

While there are many options of self-care activities for students, it’s ultimately up to you and your students to determine the best course of action that will yield the best outcome. No one thing works for everyone, and every self-care activity will not work for each and every instance. Like your diet, go through a variety of things to find out what benefits you and your kids the most. What works one day might not work the next, so switch it up and keep things interesting. Stress rears its head in very unusual and unpredictable ways, so be ready to challenge and defeat it, no matter where it turns up.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for schools. homes, and businesses.

Self-Control Functions

First, it is necessary to understand the functions contributing to self-control. With an understanding of those functions, it’s possible to begin developing games and activities that create learning opportunities for children.

The functions contributing to the development of self-control are: (DevelopingChild)

Working memory. This is when a person knows how to effectively store information in their mind and use it effectively when necessary.
Inhibitory control. This is the ability to pause and reflect on compulsions and impulses. Inhibitory control is mastery over temptations, distractions, and behaviors that might develop into habits.
Cognitive flexibility. Identifying priorities, adjusting perspective, and adapting to the demands of new situations are all under the umbrella of cognitive flexibility. A capacity for this mental resilience is a necessary part of self-control.

Incorporating practices for working memory, inhibitory control, and cognitive flexibility will be essential in creating self-control activities for students.

It’s a good possibility that parents and teachers already have activities and games in their resources that teach self-control. Many activities and games children find fun are already good teaching opportunities for self-control. They just need a little more context in order to become more effective self-control strategies for students.

Here are some self-control games that teachers and parents can use:

Self-Control Games

Card Games and Board Games

playing games. Decision-Making Skills in the Classroom

Card games and board games are excellent aids in teaching self-control strategies to students. Rule-based and goal-oriented card games and board games help children to practice using executive functions to achieve goals. At the same time, card games and board games are social. They put children in scenarios where they have to interact with other children to reach their goals. Children are well-served by practicing a habit of approaching problems with an understanding of how behaviors relate to results. (HBS)

For example:

Card games require children to keep track of numbers and rules and exercise their working memory.
Board games need fast decision-making in challenging situations.
Games are built on strategic thinking, where a decision now relates to an abstract event in the future. These are especially valuable because children have to make decisions involving other people’s actions. Children will start to understand how their own choices relate to the decisions of other people.
Complex rule sets. The mere practice of learning and playing within a complex set of rules gives children practice for higher functions.

Implementing these games with a more intentional approach will better teach self-control strategies. When children are playing, compliment how they are being cooperative and following rules. When they are frustrated, praise them when they aren’t having an outburst. This will help encourage them to continue having self-control while playing.

Physical Activities or Games

In addition to indoor activities, parents and teachers can use outdoor activities for teaching children self-control.

Organized sports place children in situations that teach them higher cognitive functions. When children play sports they are regularly practicing the functions of self-control. Remembering rules and habits of play practices working memory. Avoiding cheating and channeling energy practices inhibitory control. Practicing ingenuity and imaginative solutions helps children with cognitive flexibility.

How much self-control children learn from physical activities like organized sports will depend on how those activities are framed for them. Organized sports already have all the teaching elements. They just need to be explained in a social and emotional learning context.

Music, Singing, Dancing, and Other Creative Pursuits

self-control games creative pursuits create a positive learning context for self-control

The discipline and emotional engagement of various creative pursuits create a positive learning context for self-control. Pursuing a creative discipline teaches children many higher cognitive functions. (Harvard)

For example:

When children learn a musical instrument, it helps them practice self-monitoring and selective attention. Learning a musical instrument also teaches working memory as they memorize songs and practice using the instrument correctly.
Musical classes can also provide social opportunities for children. Playing in a band or orchestra helps students to practice cognitive flexibility in order to cooperate with the other children.
Dancing provides similar opportunities to practice higher cognitive skills that contribute to self-control strategies for students.

These creative activities, and others, provide students the ability to practice skills that contribute to self-control. Painting, writing, woodworking, sculpture–pretty much every creative activity has an element of disciplined goal-orientedness that helps children practice self-control. Teachers and parents can use all creative endeavors as social and emotional learning tools.

Stop, Breathe, and Think

Sometimes normal games aren’t enough to help students regulate self-control. In moments when students are having an emotional moment, they can be taught how to expel their energy in a positive way. Using the Stop, Breathe, and Think Technique children are taught to realize when their emotional balloons are full and retreat to a designated corner to control themselves. They can use fun breathing exercises like the bees breathing technique that James uses here to release that emotional energy.

Learn about creating a peace corner for your classroom or home here.

Social and emotional learning means everything to us over here at Soul Shoppe. We have developed teaching tools and techniques to help teachers and parents at school and at home. With tools like our Stop and Breathe Technique and our peace corner, we give educators everywhere the resources they need to help students with social-emotional learning. Click for information on SEL programs for elementary schools or social emotional homeschool electives.

Self-Efficacy in Teaching

Teaching self-efficacy in the classroom means showing students how to plan their actions while feeling confident in their ability to carry out their plans. (SERC) Using engaging tactics will reinforce a sense of self-determination and personal effectiveness.

Here are some things to consider when setting out to incorporate self-efficacy into a teaching curriculum. (TheEducationHub)

1. Create Opportunities that Capitalize on Successes

Few moments reinforce confidence like experiencing successes. Often children, because of fewer experiences in their lives, haven’t yet experienced as many independent successes. Therefore, beginning a habit of believing that they can succeed is a valuable lesson.

Practicing extra gestures of positive reinforcement for both minor and major achievements is a great opportunity to improve self-efficacy. (TeachStart) For example:

Send children a letter or postcard praising them for their achievement.
Create an award where students can nominate each other for achievements they recognize.
Designate an achievement wall, where students can display their achievements for the class.

Creating a positive reinforcement feedback system goes a long way toward teaching children to believe in themselves.

2. Peer Modeling

child raising hand - self-efficacy in teaching

Peer modeling is the practice of recognizing students who will step forward to provide clarity in classroom dialogue. Students who are asked to rise to the challenge may be viewed by their peers as someone to trust to have the right answers on a given subject. This can bolster a child’s confidence. Encouraging peer modeling in the classroom is a great tactic in building self-efficacy. This process must be approached carefully, but if done well it can be an effective aid to self-efficacy in education.

3. Goals and Feedback

Setting goals is a key skill. Implementing exercises where students have to set goals, follow through with them, and deal with windfalls and setbacks will give them a valuable skill to carry forward into the rest of their lives.

Educators should help students set and keep goals, and at the same time they should create feedback opportunities so that students can learn how to assess their plans. Additionally, this will help them learn how to make adjustments to goals where necessary.

Goal-setting journals, worksheets, visual boards, and goal-tracking sheets are all helpful tools. Read more about goal-setting for students here.

4. Self-Assessment

The practice of self-assessment isn’t always used in curricula driven by test scores and grades. If children are encouraged through classroom activities to develop a practice of self-assessment, asking themselves to make critical appraisals of the quality of their own work, it will serve them well for the rest of their lives. Using self-assessment sheets that are reviewed, or even simply put into an anonymous dropbox, can help students learn how to assess themselves on a given task. Self-assessment is a powerful tool in self-efficacy teaching.

5. Create Problem Solving Opportunities

Perhaps the single most effective skill any educator can impart to their students is the ability to problem solve. When students are empowered to approach every experience in life with a problem-solving mindset, they will be prepared to cope with many of the puzzles life throws their way.

An example of a problem-solving activity is the pyramid activity. (Wrike) Arrange students into groups and have them form a pyramid. Tell them they can only move two people but must reverse the pyramid.

6. Support Affirmation

A student’s self-confidence is affected by more than academic achievement. Since children spend a lot of time in school or engaging in school-related activities, it’s important for educators to help their students learn self-affirmations, as they pertain to parts of their personality other than academic achievement. Their social skills, hobbies like juggling or origami, their creative skills, or even their skills in being a good helper, are all examples. Self-affirmation is a large part of self-efficacy.

Teachers Teaching Self-Efficacy to Themselves

Kids learn a lot by example. Children are watching us all the time, and one of the most effective ways to teach them social and emotional learning skills is by living the lessons we wish to teach.

Educators who demonstrate self-efficacy will teach self-efficacy.

Educators who need help building lessons in social emotional learning can turn to Soul Shoppe SEL programs. Soul Shoppe encourages agency, self-confidence, self-affirmation, and other skills that prepare children for success in life. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools or our parent support programs.

What Self-Esteem Means for Kids

Self-esteem has been called “the mainspring that slates every child for success or failure as a human being” (CHHS). That said, nurturing self-esteem in a child is one of a caregiver’s most important responsibilities.

Children need to feel proud of themselves for what they can do, see the good in themselves, and accurately assess their own strengths and weaknesses. This will help them believe in themselves and be resilient when facing adversity (Kids Health).

Why Self-Esteem Is Important

Mental Health

Research by the American Psychological Association has shown that having good self-esteem is essential for positive mental health and well-being. It also helps children develop empathy and perspective, as well as coping skills and perseverance (Very Well Mind). And, as stated above, having poor self-esteem contributes to a variety of mental health issues (Positive Psychology).

Academic and Life Success

Self-esteem often means that kids hold high standards for themselves. This manifests itself in several different ways. First, these high standards can help kids set goals—in school, and beyond. As a result, they improve their ability to cope with the setbacks and difficulties in reaching their goals. They learn to persistently try until they achieve success, ultimately have more opportunities and broader life experience.

Relationships

Good self-esteem is an essential component of high-quality relationships. When a child sees their own value, it allows them to better see the value in others. This leads to better interactions, which in turn leads to better self-esteem. The result is a cycle of growth that can last a lifetime.

Physical Health

Children who like themselves treat their bodies well. They typically take care of their physical health and are healthier in general. They are more likely to exercise regularly and subsequently recover faster from illnesses (Positive Psychology).

Characteristics of Self-Esteem

Kids with self-esteem often exhibit the following characteristics:

Trying new things, including those that they might not be good at
Facing challenges instead of avoiding them
Persevering in spite of difficulties
Coping with stress, anxiety, and pressure, whether at home or school (Very Well Mind)
Believing in themselves (Raising Children)
Accepting themselves for who they are

Ways to Build Self-Esteem for Kids

It is possible to build self-esteem at any age. While earlier is better, supportive parenting can change the trajectory of a child’s life no matter where they are in their development.

Warm and loving parental relationships are the basis of self-esteem. They make children feel worthy and valued. Here are some specific suggestions for strengthening your relationship with your child and building their self-esteem.

1. Set boundaries and limits.

Set boundaries and limits to help your child feel secure and grow emotionally (Sanford Health).

2. Show interest in what your child values.

If they love music, listen to or play music with them. If they love books, take them to the library. Engaging with your kids shows them they are worth your time and attention (Raising Kids).

3. Have them do chores or help around the house.

This can include helping prepare meals, making their beds, feeding pets, or washing dishes. Contributing to the household makes kids feel accomplished and shows that you trust them to help (Kids Health).

4. Treat each child as a unique individual.

Remember, one size never fits all…so parent each child in a way that works for both of you.

5. Give balanced feedback.

This means praising your child for trying their best or doing something new, not for being the best. This teaches children to value their own efforts, and to be a good teammate (Raising Children).

6. Listen to and acknowledge your child’s thoughts and feelings.

Teach them how to deal with uncomfortable feelings and, ultimately, to self-regulate.

7. Give your child choices.

Give options and allow your child a feeling of reasonable control over their life (CHHS).

8. Make family meals together.

This strengthens family ties and allows everyone to contribute to the meal. Children can set the table, chop vegetables or cut fruit, or wash lettuce for salad. Meals also give everyone a chance to connect as a family (Raising Children).

9. Show love and affection to your children regularly.

Exhibit love and affection including physical affection—hugs, kisses, etc. Do not withhold affection even if they are misbehaving. To be effective, your love must not be conditional. Continue reinforcing that your child is lovable (CHHS).

10. Encourage them to keep trying even when things are hard.

Praise the effort. Reward perseverance. This builds their resilience.

11. Coach children through difficult social situations.

Children can experience difficult social situations at school or elsewhere. Role-play them, talk through them, etc. This helps prepare children for these situations and build confidence (Raising Children).

12. Keep children connected.

Keep children connected to family friends and extended family as much as possible. This helps develop their sense of belonging and identity. Other options include being part of a religious community, sports club, or another group (Raising Children).

13. Allow them to make mistakes.

Do not expect children to be perfect. Instead, let their mistakes be learning opportunities (Sanford Health).

14. Keep realistic expectations of your child.

This helps them meet the expectations or exceed them. Their self-esteem will grow as a result.

15. Focus on the positives.

Notice what your child is doing right, and praise them for those actions. This reinforces positive behaviors and discourages poor choices (Sanford Health).

Conclusion

Self-esteem can be nurtured in children during their childhood development. It is essential in helping them feel worthwhile, secure, and develop self-worth. This affects every area of their life.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for parents, schools and businesses. Soul Shoppe helps children with empathy, emotional literacy, conflict resolution and more.

Sources:

CHHS, CMHC, Kids Health, Positive Psychology, Raising Children, Sanford Health, Very Well Mind

Self-Esteem Group Activities

We learn by doing. It’s true of everyone, especially children. And for certain things, behavioral learning is the most effective way to learn. Skills that depend on data and knowledge, such as mathematics, can start with data and theory, which might get strengthened with practice. Emotionally dependent skills, such as self-esteem, may be better suited for an activity, and an experience-based learning environment for the lessons to land.

Life experiences are the sources of self-esteem. Children want to feel included in communities, and experiences of rejection or acceptance into communities dramatically impact their sense of self-esteem. There are any number of reasons children might feel accepted or rejected by their peers. Children might highlight differences between each other, or affirm similarities. Some children may make decisions based on observations of what they see in the world, such as self-identifying that they are different. This may lead them to make judgments about themselves without any direct interactions. So many factors contribute to the development of self-esteem that educators can never anticipate all of them.

Self-esteem is among the most important factors in the development of any child. Good self-esteem can be the determining factor in the long-term success of a child, while damaged self-esteem can leave children struggling for the rest of their lives.

For these reasons, it’s imperative to include worthwhile self-esteem-building group activities into educational curriculum.

Self-Esteem Group Activities for Youth

Group activities are excellent for building self-esteem in children. Though it’s not the only deciding factor in developing self-esteem, community integration has a powerful determining effect on developing self-esteem.

The “I’m afraid to…” activity

This is an activity based on…

Cultivating confidence that it’s safe to express feelings aloud.
Recognizing there are people out there with the same fears.

All the students in the class write down something they’re afraid of. Then there’s an open discussion where the question is posed, “What would it be like if that happened?” It can be helpful to adopt an attitude that if the fear came to pass, it might not be as bad as anticipated.

The Gratitude Journal

Creating a habit of looking for good things happening around them encourages children to look for positive aspects of themselves. For this activity, every child has a designated journal for this purpose. On a weekly basis, they are encouraged to write positive things they notice about other people. Then, two or three times every month, have a discussion with the whole class on the highlights from their gratitude journals.

Positive Rephrasing

In this activity, children will say their statements of self-challenge. Things like, “I am a bad writer,” or “I don’t have a lot of friends.” Then the student rephrases the statements into more positive statements. I.e. “I come up with creative ideas when I write” or “I have a great best friend.”

What are Good Traits Discussion

For this activity, students write down traits that they consider “good.” I.e. Good at sports–funny–kind–etc. After making the list, have a discussion in class about the traits. What do these traits look like in a person? How do you cultivate them?

Cooperative Boardgames

Games are fun, and they can either encourage individual conflict, or they can be tools for developing cooperation and a sense of being a valued part of the community. Play board games, and put children into small teams so that they can cooperate on decisions and work together.

Write the End Goal

It can be frustrating being a child. Children can have trouble feeling certain about having any agency in their own lives. With this activity, children write down outcomes they would like to see in their lives. Treating a child’s plans seriously affirms their sense that their actions and thoughts matter.

How to Build Self-Esteem in Students

Happy kids - Self-esteem group activities

In the end, there are a lot of potential self-esteem group activities that encourage growth. Determining which ones are best to choose will depend on the educators, the students, and many other factors. Take into consideration factors that contribute to self-esteem when creating activities. Factors such as…

Definitions–who am I? What does that say about me?
Relationships–who am I in my relationships? How do they change me?
Accomplishments–what do I do well? How have I shown improvement? And, alternately, do I wish to change any of my habits?

Self-esteem is complicated, but the factors contributing to positive self-esteem tend toward common experiences. If that’s true, then it’s possible to create environments that encourage improved self-esteem.

Soul Shoppe is a social emotional learning company. For more than twenty years they’ve been devoted to creating tools and empowering educators of all stripes to incorporate emotional intelligence into their curricula. Their strategies are effective in encouraging empathy and emotional awareness in children. Through these strategies and their Peacemaker Program they help decrease conflicts in playgrounds across the country. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools.

Designing Sharing Games for Elementary School Students

For kindergarten students, it’s important to design activities that give them a chance to practice sharing in a straightforward way. As children age and their minds develop more, lessons in sharing must also grow in complexity. More advanced lessons in sharing teach more complicated life skills. Sharing games, if designed well, can teach skills like negotiation, resource management, and community engagement. (PON) Well-designed sharing games for elementary students create layered learning opportunities.

Here are a few examples of sharing games for elementary students.

Resource Sharing Game

Based on studies made on the interplay of game theory and community, the Resource Sharing Game can be incorporated into other activities. (arxiv)

The basic idea is that some resource is controlled by an individual or subset of the main group. Maybe they control all the art supplies, cleaning supplies, or building supplies. Then the whole group is given a task to accomplish. The class is divided into groups, each with a part of the task to accomplish.

Every group will need to get supplies and tools from the kids with the job of distributing the supplies and tools.

This game creates an environment where children think about the nuances of sharing resources within a community. Nuances like:

Temporal realities. Sometimes the resource isn’t available at the moment and they’ll need to wait until it is available.
Scarcity. If there isn’t quite enough of a resource–such as there’s not quite enough purple paint–they might be required to come up with an imaginative solution. Maybe the community will need to be more careful with its sharing. Maybe the community will need to find some replacement resources. Maybe the community will need to find an alternative source of the resource such as finding red paint and blue paint and mixing them together.
Organization of sharing. At a basic level, sharing is transactional. (I.e. You and I share our toys.) In a more advanced setting, sharing might have a broader implication. For instance, learning how to share with members of the larger community rather than their immediate circle may require a little more persuasion. They might also have to learn how to share with people outside of that community.
Negotiation. Children generally grow to be more successful adults when they learn from an early age how to get what they want and need through polite negotiation.

The Pizza Sharing Game

Also known as the Concurrent Graph Sharing Game, the Pizza Sharing Game has a simple setup. However, in spite of its simplicity, it provides a fertile learning environment for teaching kids the social and emotional depths of sharing. (arxiv)

To start, two kids get a handful of objects put between them. It can be toys or snacks, or construction paper made to look like pizza. They take turns taking one or two objects from the middle. The game is over when the last object is picked up.

The Pizza Sharing game can be played in a couple of ways:

Make the end goal to take the last piece or item.
Or have the person they’re playing with take the last item.

The game provides children with the experience of making plans with their resources. Sometimes sharing is more complicated than “you get some and I get some.” In adulthood, sharing sometimes means making strategic and sometimes difficult decisions about who gets what. It also challenges the idea of making sure the right people get the right stuff. The Pizza Sharing Game encourages students to approach sharing with a problem-solving attitude.

Cooperative Board Games

Stuff isn’t all that’s shared. Playing board games in a cooperative way helps students learn how to share less physical things like:

Responsibility
Goal setting
Authority
A sense of success or failure

It’s important that students rotate roles when they play board games cooperatively. Some kids have a natural tendency to take charge. Other kids might naturally give way to other students. That is a perfect dynamic to interrupt for educational purposes so that all children can learn more diverse social and emotional skills.

Teaching Sharing in the Classroom

The classroom is a place to stretch ideas and grow. Sharing can go far beyond what children learn in their preschool years.

For more social emotional learning ideas, click here.

From in-school visits to virtual learning activities, Soul Shoppe creates social emotional learning programs and resources for children, educators, and parents. Click for information on SEL programs for elementary schools, social emotional homeschooling, or our parent support programs.

Social Skills Activities for Kids

Social skills are a critical part of child emotional development. With attention, children begin building social skills from birth to age three. Then these skills are enhanced throughout childhood. However, students of any age can improve their social skills and benefit from them. Social skills are developed with both effort and practice.

What Are Social Skills?

Social skills are the tools necessary for children to form and maintain relationships. These skills help children self-regulate and take responsibility for their actions. According to 8,000 teachers and 20 years of research, here are the top 10 most important skills:

Listen to others
Follow the steps
Follow the rules
Ignore distractions
Ask for help
Take turns when you talk
Get along with others
Stay calm with others
Be responsible for your own behavior
Do nice things for others

When children are able to listen to others and take turns they improve their communication skills. That interchange is important for positive relationships with others. Likewise, following the rules, ignoring distractions, and being responsible for behavior show self-control. Additionally, getting along with others and staying calm are important skills for cooperation. Asking for help and following directions show independence. Lastly, doing nice things for others signifies empathy. Social success is intertwined by many other skills. However, these are the core social skills that will benefit children for a lifetime.

Benefits of Learning Social Skills

Social skills are incredibly important for many reasons. Researchers found that when these skills are taught, problem behaviors are reduced and learning time is maximized (Vanderbilt).

Long-term benefits are also noted. For example, schools with strong social emotional programs have higher graduation rates. This translates to better employment opportunities and wages, as well as improved physical and mental health (PBIS).

Learning social skills is just as important as learning academics. In fact, it is a precursor to any kind of learning. Students who learn social skills learn communication and are better at conflict resolution. They learn how to advocate for themselves, and implement emotional management tools. Other benefits include:

Reduced rates of bullying
Improved school climate and a culture of inclusion
Increased self-awareness
Better active listening skills
Ability to set and achieve goals
Enhanced ability to communicate with peers and adults
Cooperative teamwork
Improved school safety
Decreased probability of health problems
Development of persistence
Lower likelihood of substance abuse (PBIS)

In contrast, when students do not learn social skills, they can suffer from loneliness and mental health problems. They tend to have poor relationships with others. Similarly, students who have inferior social skills may have school and behavioral problems (Behavioral Sciences). Other issues include difficulty completing academic work. Therefore, students are far more likely to thrive at school when taught social skills.

Social Skills Activities for Kids

Social Skills Activities - young children playing in a group

There are many fun and engaging ways to teach children social skills. Here is a list of social skills activities, and how to implement them.

Turn-Taking Games

One example is throwing a ball and naming the student you are passing it to. Another idea is playing a board game and having students say, “My turn,” at the start of their turn.

Role-Playing

Practice scenarios where children do not know anyone. Start by discussing phrases they can say. Some of them could include, “My name is…” and “Can I play with you?” (Child Development)

Making Friendship Cards

First, discuss friendships and what makes a good friend. Then have students write a card to a friend. (PBIS)

Playing “Simon Says”

This game helps with attention skills and self-regulation. In this game, one person at the front must say an action, such as “raise your hand.” However, if they do not say, “Simon Says,” then the children who perform the action are out. Every action must be said like this: “Simon Says: ___ “.

Playing “Red Light, Green Light”

In this game, students must work on self-regulation and following directions. This game is best played outside. The teacher or a student must stand at the finish line, and everyone else has to stand at the starting line. When the announcer says, “Green Light!” students can walk or run towards the finish line. However, when the announcer says, “Red light!” students must stop at once. Any students moving after that command are out.

Seeing Something From Someone Else’s Perspective

Gather children in a circle and tell students it’s important to see things from another’s perspective. Then demonstrate how to do this. Say something like, “I noticed that (the student) was having a difficult day when their friend wasn’t in class. I thought it must have been sad for them to miss their friend.” Model both their perspective and how you think they felt. (Child Mind Institute)

Discussing Social Norms by Watching a Clip or a Short Show Together

Before starting the show, discuss that the children will be watching for characters and the setting. Ask what they know about the show or characters. Additionally, ask what they expect to happen in the scene. After discussions begin watching but keep the remote handy. Pause the video at important parts and discuss character actions. You can also point out body language or facial expressions (Child Mind Institute).

Playing Board Games

Before starting, discuss appropriate ways to win and lose. Also, discuss appropriate commentary. Comments such as, “That was a great move!” and “Great game!” are encouraged. Then have students play with each other, and positively reinforce self-regulation and social skills (Child Development).

Having Students Work with Mentors

This can be done with peers or different age groups. Students should work on pro-social activities, such as reading together, working on projects, art, or more.

Having Students Create Videos

Children can learn new skills with imitation. Practicing these techniques in the classroom is a safe way to learn them. First, discuss the primary social skill, such as self-regulation. Explore what it means, and the body language and words associated with it. Next, group children in small groups (3-6) and encourage them to act out a scene showing cooperation. Then create the video. Lastly, share the video and discuss the body language and skills shown. This can be done with younger students if the teacher or a volunteer video records for them (Positive Action).

There are many ways to teach social skills to children. This is not an exhaustive list. Please see below for additional resources.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs to enhance children’s social skills. Soul Shoppe programs help schools and parents teach mindfulness, inclusivity, allyship, conflict resolution strategies for students, and more.

You May Also Like:

Embodiment Practices for Kids In School or at Home

Building Emotional Resilience in Kids

Cooperative Games for Kids

Self-Esteem for Kids

Sources:

Behavioral Sciences, Childhood Development, Child Mind Institute, PBISRewards, Positive Action, Scholastic, Vanderbilt, Education, Parenting Science, PBS, Positive Action, Positive Psychology

Soul Shoppe on the Radio – 94.1 KPFA

Listen to Episode 1, Tools of the Heart with Soul Shoppe

Listen to Episode 2, Generation Empathy: Real World Applications

Host Timothy Regan welcomes you to learn peacebuilding skills along with the people and stories of Soul Shoppe – our own Bay Area peacebuilding children’s educational fun-team! This nonprofit teaches healthy relationship and conflict management skills to thousands of children K-8th grade every year, with colorful, fun events.

Soul Shoppe team members Anthony Jackson and Paul Himmelstein share stories and demonstrate what we all needed to learn in grammar school – simple, powerful, reliable skills to understand ourselves and eachother, and to handle conflict so we can thrive together.

Soul Shoppe is a Bay Area nonprofit with a beautiful VISION: “A world where respect and empathy are the norm, and every child can thrive and shine!” Their MISSION is: “to create safe learning environments that bring forth a culture of compassion, connection and curiosity—eliminating bullying at the roots.”

Soul Shoppe’s Peacemaker Awards Ceremony and Fundraiser

On June 7, 2022, from 6 – 7 pm PDT, join us for inspiration as we honor Peacemaker legend Dolores Huerta, President and Founder of the Dolores Huerta Foundation, and visionary Peacemaker Angel Acosta, PhD, ground-breaking leader of the new philosophy of healing-centered education.

Dolores Huerta, Founder & President of the Dolores Huerta Foundation (DHF), is a world-renowned civil rights activist and community organizer. She has worked for labor rights and social justice for over 50 years. In 1962, she and Cesar Chavez founded the United Farm Workers union.

Ms. Huerta is a two-time US Presidential Award Recipient; she received the Medal of Freedom Award from President Obama in 2012, the highest civilian award in the United States, and the Eleanor D. Roosevelt Human Rights Award from President Clinton in 1998.

Dr. Acosta is the founder of “Healing-Centered Education” and is currently the Director of the Garrison Institute’s Fellowship Program. Angel Acosta has worked tirelessly to bridge the fields of leadership, social justice, and mindfulness.

We will also honor Bay Area Peacemaker champions:

Peacemaker Administrator, Stephanie Martinez, from Jefferson Elementary School District, Daly City, CA
The Student Peacemaker Team from James Franklin Smith Elementary, San Jose, CA
Peacemaker Trainers from John F. Kennedy Elementary, Daly CIty, CA

Soul Shoppe’s Peacemaker Awards 2022 is a free, virtual event. Please register so we can send you the zoom link.

In just one hour, event attendees can take a significant step toward peace, honor Peacemakers, learn more about conflict resolution for kids, and help Soul Shoppe bring more fun, safety, and peace to kids and playgrounds everywhere.

A recent graduate of our Peacemaker Trainer Certification inspired us with this vision:

“Our vision for the school is for all the students and teachers to use Soul Shoppe and to use the tools such as the I Message and The Clean Up. We do see the power of using the I Message across all the grade levels. We believe if we continue to use the vocabulary in kindergarten the kids will be well versed by the time they get to 5^th grade. And then when they go to middle school and high school they can model the ‘correct’ way of solving problems, thus teaching the kids that weren’t part of Jefferson that the tools can be used and will become woven into the San Leandro community.”

– Marilia Dos Santos, kindergarten teacher and Peacemaker Trainer, Jefferson Elementary

Read More: https://www.einnews.com/pr_news/575613988/soul-shoppe-2022-peacemaker-awards-honors-social-emotional-education-thought-leaders-dolores-huerta-and-dr-angel-acosta

Spring Clean Up

Let’s talk about mistakes.The big messy juicy mistakes–both the words we say and the ones we don’t. The places where we are not our best selves or the moments we wish we could do over. We are going to make mistakes. People are not born to be perfectionists, we are born to take risks, to try and to fail. We are, after all, human. So let’s admit that we all make messes.

We live in a world where we are told that faster is better. But in living out that value, we miss things; we miss people, and we don’t think we can slow down. We deliberately don’t attend to something we see. Or we tell ourselves that we will return to that person later when we have time, though that time never comes. In some cases faster is better, but that is rarely true for a human connection with someone. Building empathy and trust takes time. And moving quickly in our relationships with people can create confusion, hurt and misunderstanding. Fortunately, there is a way to genuinely repair the mistakes we will inevitably make with others.

At Soul Shoppe, we use the Clean-Up as a guide for young people to navigate through those mistakes. The Clean-Up is a five-step process focused on repairing harm. It starts with recognizing the harm that was caused, feeling the impact of it, and apologizing. When we understand the hurt from an action or behavior we were part of, we naturally want to learn what we could do instead and make a commitment to do things differently next time. The process ends with asking for forgiveness.

Why’s it’s Hard to Say Sorry

Young people are initially reluctant to use the Clean-Up. They sometimes have had the experience of being pushed into saying “sorry” before they actually feel that way. Or they’re told they won’t get in trouble if they tell the truth when we know there will be consequences. In these situations, young people feel blame and shame and rarely get to the important process of experiencing empathy, apologizing and making it right. When we have the intention to make it right and the willingness to listen, so much more connection and compassion is available. And the next time we make a mistake (and there will be a next time), we know we have a tool to help us clean it up rather than keep us separated.

The Clean-Up gives us a way to build connection, and through admitting our mistakes, it gives us access to our own power. We recognize that we have power to impact the people around us, to repair relationships and to understand that our mistakes can be part of our growth. When we frame young people’s mistakes positively as part of the way they’re powerful, it helps them build self-esteem rather than focusing on how they’re “bad.” It gives them more freedom in their lives.

As adult allies, we can be role models to show young people what it looks like when we take responsibility for the hurt we have caused. Is there a young person or adult in your life you could do a Clean-Up with? Someone you know you hurt or missed? This level of honesty and courage is what our young people are longing for. Try it on and see what happens in your relationships. It’s time for some Spring Clean-Up!

Stress in Children

Every generation in recent history has grown up in a world where national and international news makes its way into the safety of our living rooms and around our dinner tables.

Though parents, teachers, and other caretakers might try to shield their children from scary sounds, images, and stories, the truth is that kids continue to be exposed to the dangers and stressors in our current culture.

In the 1970s, newsreels squawked out threatening projections about the United States energy crisis.

In the 1980s, the tension between the United States and the Soviet Union threatened war and the AIDS epidemic struck fear and panic.

Then in the 1990s, images of the Los Angeles riots, the Bosnian War, and the Oklahoma City Bombing repeatedly played for months on end.

As we are well aware today, the 2020s have introduced stressors no one could have predicted, and they are affecting our children daily. Masked children are familiar with the pandemic that continues to disrupt their classrooms, though they might not fully grasp the enormity of the threat. Some are aware that friends and loved ones have gotten sick, while others live in households that have been stricken with joblessness and even homelessness.

As caretakers, it behooves us to understand how we can identify the signs of stress and anxiety in children and become familiar with tools we can implement to help them thrive despite anxiety-inducing realities.

Identifying Stress in Children

child covering her eyes - stress in children

Anxiety is a natural part of life. It doesn’t always signal a more significant problem–sometimes, it is simply a human reaction to a human dilemma.

For example, if your child sees one classmate teasing another, she may grow anxious. This anxiety could be an empathetic response, during which your child puts his/herself in the other person’s shoes and feels what she might feel if she was being teased. A child’s anxiety in this situation could also be triggered by the fear that the offending classmate may tease him/her one day.

Though these feelings are not comfortable, they are normal and even helpful. Just as some discomfort helps lead adults to pursue healthy, strong responses, they also help children navigate difficult moments.

Some fears are common among specific age groups. Some of these common fears include:

Strangers
Loud noises
Monsters
The dark
Bugs
Sickness
Dogs

Children experiencing fears can exhibit behaviors resulting from their uncomfortable feelings even if real danger is not present. When worries go unaddressed and unprocessed, they can become stress and anxiety.

Stress in children can manifest in various ways. According to Aetna, these are among the most common:

Avoidance of specific activities, situations, or people
A tendency to worry about what can go wrong in any scenario
Worries or fears that interfere with normal daily activities
Persistent distress despite an adult’s reassurances
Trouble sleeping at night or insisting on sleeping with family members
Physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomach pain that don’t stem from other medical conditions

When you identify these signs of anxiety in your student or child, use the moment to connect with them. You can seek to understand what is at the foundation of their concern and help them clearly articulate the source.

How to Help a Child With Stress and Anxiety

Help your child talk about what is frightening them by asking specific questions.

Often, articulating their fear or frustration can release tension in and of itself. For example, if a child becomes upset at the suggestion of beginning his or her school day on Zoom, you can ask them, “What makes Zoom scary?” Or, “What was difficult about the last time you met your class on Zoom?” These questions can help guide your child toward specific answers.

Once you’ve taken the time to help your child identify the source of their worry, validate the emotion they’re experiencing.

If a child tells you they’re afraid of the dark, and you’ve asked clarifying questions to pinpoint the specific fear, you can say, “I know a lot of children your age who feel afraid of the dark.” Then begin to help your child create a plan to overcome their fear. You may feel compelled to offer a great deal of sympathy or comfort to the child as you discuss their fear of the dark, but it’s best to identify the fear, validate it, and then move on to creating a plan. Too much sympathy can become a reward that reinforces the fear.

After you’ve initiated a conversation with the child, help them create a plan to overcome their fear.

If a student exhibits significant fear of heights, and you’ve helped them identify the fear and validated the fear, such as “I can see you are really afraid of heights,” you can help them plan a way to overcome it.

“How about today you stand at the top of the slide for a few seconds and imagine yourself having a great time going down the slide. By the end of the week, you can give it a try!” Helping children set these goals and then encouraging them along the way lets them know you see them, hear them, and you are willing to support them through difficult emotions and circumstances.

Social and Emotional Learning Helps Children with Stress

NPR recently discussed the importance of social and emotional learning to overwhelmed children.

The author interviewed Olga Acosta Price, director of the National Center for Health and Health Care in Schools. Price says, “Effective social and emotional learning doesn’t happen ‘only at certain times of the day or with certain people,’ it should be reflected in all school operations and practices. With disruptions from the pandemic so widespread, that kind of approach is needed now more than ever.” At Soul Shoppe, we agree.

The best time to help children understand and interact with their emotions–and the feelings of others–is while they are experiencing them throughout the day.

Children are still experiencing crises daily (NY Times). It is our responsibility as adults and caretakers to help guide our children through these tumultuous times by helping them survive and thrive. We can do that when we give them the social and emotional tools to face the dangers–either imagined or real–and grow the skills they need to identify, manage, and reframe complicated feelings.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for elementary schools, homeschoolers, parents, corporations, and more. View online courses or contact us for more information.

Summer Resources for Parents

We know that being a parent can be challenging under the best of circumstances. Circumstances are clearly not at their best right now. Where do you go for help? This month, we’re offering some resources to support parents and the adults who want to stand with the youth in their lives. We aren’t affiliated with these organizations and don’t receive anything in return. We’re sharing these links because we think they are potentially useful. Some resources are directly relevant to current events while others suggest ways to build empathy, compassion and listening. And some resources are simply about fun activities to do together, because joy is the foundation from which we can act.

Immigration Resources:

How to Talk to Kids about Immigration and Family Separation

Know Your Rights Information on ICE and Immigration

Building Social Emotional Skills

Soul Shoppe Refresher Videos — building peacemaking skills–a great way to continue your or your child’s Soul Shoppe skills

Parent Resource Guide to Social Emotional Learning blogs, articles, and videos for parents about fostering kindness, empathy, gratitude, resilience, perseverance, and focus in children.

Bullying Prevention Resources

Stop Bullying: What You Can Do

The Consequences of Bullying – Fact Sheet

A Snapshot of Bullying in America (infographic)

Un Vistazo al Acoso Escolar en America

Cyberbullying Facts (infographic)

Datos Sobre El Acoso Cibernetico

“What Parents Should Know About Bullying”

Ideas for Preventing Summer Slide

Summer Fun with the Brain in Mind

Preventing Summer Slide: Why Not Try Internet Research?

Parents: Inspiring Readers Through the Summer Slump

Preventing Summer Slide (on a Budget)

Encouraging Science at Home Is Easier Than You Think

General Resources for Parents

Parent Toolkit – Support for parents on many topics: Academics, Social/Emotional, Health & Wellness, Financial Literacy, College & Career.

http://parents.nea.org/

Parents Guide to Student Success – to see what your child will be learning at each grade level

Talking About Feelings

If you’re a parent or teacher, you know your small kids experience big feelings. Sometimes they seem to come out of nowhere, while other times, your kids have emotional responses that you can easily trace to some prior moment in the day. Regardless of how their feelings are stirred up, we must normalize talking about them.

Children who are taught that talking about feelings is healthy will learn not to bottle up their life experiences. Instead, they’ll learn to share them and process them. Just like adults, when kids begin to understand their emotions and name them, they have a fighting chance of working through their feelings.

This article will discuss talking about feelings and teaching your child to identify and express them.

Talking About Feelings

What Is The Difference Between Emotions And Feelings?

While emotions and feelings are used interchangeably, they are slightly different. Emotions are bodily reactions that occur through neurotransmitters and hormones in the brain (iMotions). Feelings, on the other hand, are a conscious experience.

Talking About Feelings Helps Children Process

Though emotions can be as unique as the children who experience them, there are generally four big emotions in which everyone’s feelings are grounded: anger, sadness, fear, and loneliness. We could easily break down each of these big emotions into resulting feelings, but for the sake of this article, we’ll focus on the main ones.

Suppose you are looking for a more extensive representation of the full array of emotions to help teach your child that talking about feelings doesn’t have to feel overwhelming or frustrating. In that case, you can check out our feelings poster.

The Big Four Feelings and Emotions for Kids

Let’s discuss the big four feelings and emotions for kids and how you can help your child identify them.

Anger

In general, anger is secondary to hurt, fear, frustration, or injustice. Sometimes your child will feel triggered to anger by one of these emotions, and sometimes they will feel all four of these emotions at once.

Anger is an uncomfortable emotion for both adults and children. It’s also an uncomfortable emotion to witness in another person. Anger for children often manifests itself as a temper tantrum, hitting, grabbing another child’s toy, or having an emotional outburst such as crying coupled with screaming.

It’s important to understand that anger triggers your child’s fight or flight response. Jaclyn Shlisky, PsyD, writes, “Anger may seem irrational, but for a child that hasn’t yet learned how to regulate emotions, it’s an immediate natural reaction to some sort of wrongdoing your child feels” (Parent.com). To help your child recognize and self-regulate when talking about the feelings and emotions that are stirred up by anger, you can do the following:

Identify and explain the feeling using age-appropriate language and materials, such as songs, movies, pictures, or facial expressions.
Teach your child different ways they can deal with their feelings.
Praise your child when they talk about their feelings.
Reinforce your child’s attempts to discuss their feelings by incorporating feelings into game time, car rides, when you’re sharing a meal, etc.

Using anger as an example, you can help your child identify and explain the emotion. For instance, if your child doesn’t want to follow their bedtime routine one night and begins to have a temper tantrum, you might say, “It seems like you’re feeling angry about having to brush your teeth tonight. You are crying, and your face looks like this. What can you do? I think you can ask for help or take some deep breaths and try again.”

Acknowledging your child’s emotions not only helps them identify their feelings using self-awareness skills, but also helps them understand how they can deal with them. The next step is to praise your child when they acknowledge the emotions they’re experiencing. Additionally, praise them when they decide how to handle that emotion. While at the beginning, you might provide examples of solutions for them, they will eventually learn to come up with solutions on their own.

Later, when their emotions have settled–this could be an hour later or even a couple of days later–you can reinforce your child’s attempts to discuss their feelings. You can also discuss the choices they made to process the emotions. For example, “Last night, you seemed angry about brushing your teeth. I was so proud of you when you figured out you were feeling anger and then took some nice, deep breaths before finishing brushing. You handled your anger so well!” This kind of reinforcement lets kids know what they did well, and it can help build their confidence during future moments with difficult emotions.

Sadness

Parent with children at table - child with sad expression

When you’re teaching your child to identify and express emotions, sadness is one of the first you will want to explore. We all experience sadness at one point or another, and children tend to present sadness in similar ways to adults.

The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning at Vanderbilt University suggests playing the game Make a Face to begin conversations about emotions with your child or student.

This is a great way to open a conversation with a child who feels sad. The game begins when you say, “I am going to make a face; guess what I am feeling by looking at my face.” This game helps the child assign a name to the feeling and then allows the adult to reinforce their connection in the moment. Once the emotion is established, you can ask the child what has caused their sadness and then follow the steps above (identify and explain, teach them ways to deal with their emotions, praise the child, and reinforce their attempts).

When children deal with difficult emotions, it’s essential to let them know that while their feelings belong to them, they are common among children and adults alike. They are not alone.

Fear

In most educational materials on feelings and emotions for kids, fear is at the top of the list. The reason for this is obvious–just think back to when you were a child. Perhaps you had a fear of the dark, or big animals, or loud noises. Much of this fear is rooted in feelings of uncertainty and the vastness of “the unknown.” Often, children express fear in uncertain ways and this can lead to anxiety later in life.

If your child or student is having a hard time identifying and expressing fear, here are some tools you can give them to help them express it more productively:

Encourage them to ask for help.
Invite them to say the emotion instead of showing it. (For example, “I am feeling scared,” instead of crying, hiding, or throwing a tantrum.)
Relax and try again. (For example, if a child fears reading aloud in class, invite them to take some deep breaths and try again.)
Tell a grown-up.

Teaching your child to identify and express emotions allows them to connect with you and with others in a way that keeps them safe and gives them a greater sense of confidence when they are not with you. It also builds camaraderie and community because it teaches them that we are all in this together.

Loneliness

The final emotion we’ll discuss here is loneliness.

Research shows that children form attachments to other people right from the start. Children who have a secure attachment with at least one adult experience benefits and learn that connection to others is a positive thing. Conversely, when children feel disconnected from others, they can experience loneliness.

Unfortunately, loneliness in kids has skyrocketed as a result of the pandemic. As you might imagine, kids attending classes online or being taken out of their normal activities has resulted in an epidemic of loneliness.

Loneliness is a complex emotion but helping your child identify it in themselves and then process it, benefits them greatly. Bethany Vibert, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, suggests some helpful strategies to talking about the feeling of loneliness with your child. Dr. Vibert writes:

Ask open-ended questions. For example, if your child says they miss spending time with someone they used to see a lot, you can ask questions about that. “What did you really like doing with her? What do you miss the most about seeing her?”

Make observations. Sometimes comments are a good alternative to questions. So, if you notice that your child isn’t spending time with people as much as they used to, you might point that out. Then leave space for them to talk.

Validate their experiences. Showing genuine interest goes a long way. Do your best to listen without judgment (or visible panic) to whatever they have to say. Try also to avoid overreacting with too much sympathy or emotion, since that might make them feel even worse. You can show that you’re listening by reflecting back on what they’re saying (“It sounds like you’re having a hard time”), or saying supportive things like “That sounds tough. Would you tell me more about that?”

Talking about feelings and emotions with your children or students teaches them that their experiences are valid, they can manage their feelings, and that you care about them.

Soul Shoppe supports parents and school communities by creating and facilitating dynamic social-emotional learning programs, parent workshops, and more. For more information on how to talk about feelings with the kids in your life, please contact us.

Seven Types of Boundaries

1. Physical Boundaries

People generally require physical boundaries in order to maintain a basic sense of safety. Everyone has different thresholds and triggers that give them a sense that their physical boundaries are not respected. Some examples include:

Unwelcome touching of any kind
How close a person is to their personal space (for example someone might be standing too close)
Sanctity of their things–is their lunch, school supplies, jacket, etc., respected?

It is important to recognize that different kids have different levels of comfort with physical boundaries. Some might need you to stand further away. Some don’t mind if their classmates touch their backpacks. Some kids love hugs and others don’t like to be touched at all. With this You Belong poster, kids come into the classroom in a line and touch the symbol of what they prefer – a hug, a high five, a handshake, or a fist bump.

Children need to be aware of what their preferences are when it comes to their physical boundaries. Then they can be encouraged to vocalize those boundaries.

2. Emotional and Mental Boundaries

kid apart from other kids - teaching boundaries activities

Children might not always recognize that their emotional and mental boundaries aren’t being respected because they haven’t yet developed the tools to recognize and articulate their feelings about what makes them emotionally and mentally uncomfortable. Therefore, with younger kids, especially, look for clues like:

If the child has trouble talking about a particular subject
If the child is showing signs of embarrassment

These kinds of signs can mean the child is sensing that someone has crossed their mental or emotional boundaries.

3. Spiritual or Religious Boundaries

This is sometimes a challenging subject to approach in a classroom setting, but it might come up. Classrooms are full of kids with many different backgrounds. Educators will have to prepare themselves to moderate situations arising from a need for spiritual and religious boundaries.

4. Time Boundaries

School is an ideal learning environment to help children figure out how to create and defend their schedules. Adults, more than children, tend to have trouble setting boundaries with their time. Therefore, it’s valuable for children to learn how to recognize when people are taking advantage of their time so they can set boundaries in adulthood. For example, when a student is trying to complete an assignment and someone is distracting them, they can learn to say, “I’ll talk to you later. I need to do my work right now.”

5. Financial and Material Boundaries

Children won’t need to worry about placing boundaries around finances in elementary school. Financial boundaries have more to do with adulthood. However, class stores and using play money can be introduced in elementary school to help them become aware of financial priorities.

6. Sexual Boundaries

It is never too early for children to develop an understanding of having and respecting bodily boundaries. While the youngest grades might not be the ideal environment for conversations about sexual boundaries, it is an ideal environment to start talking about respecting the physical comfort and safety of themselves and other people.

7. Non-negotiable Boundaries

Boundaries are about safety and comfort. Therefore, violation of those boundaries can seriously compromise a person’s sense of well-being. Because every child comes from a different background, every child will have unique ideas and situations that will inform personal non-negotiable boundaries. Both parents and educators can help children figure out those boundaries.

Boundaries for Kids

Kids will test boundaries. They will test their own boundaries, trying things to see how uncomfortable those things leave them. Their peers will have boundaries, and kids will test those, figuring out how the community will react to them. Teachers and parents will set boundaries, and kids will push against those boundaries to figure out how far they can be pushed. It’s not only natural to do it, but kids will learn a lot about how boundaries work by checking out how pliable the boundaries around them are. (UsableKnowledge)

As a result, one effective way to teach boundaries in a safe way is through demonstration. (ChildMindInstitute) Boundaries correlate with responding to actions, feelings, and social interactions. Therefore, children will look to their peers and the important adults in their lives to learn how to create appropriate boundaries.

Teaching Boundaries Activities

Here are a few suggestions for creating activities that will create more intentional learning experiences for children:

- Board games and yard games. These are great ways to simulate life’s boundaries. Talk about why the rules are important. What happens when a rule is broken? etc.
- Class discussions. Moderated conversations about the different types of boundaries help relate abstract ideas to experiences.
- Role-playing. Children learn a lot from acting out complex scenarios. (HowtoAdult)
- Value assessment. When children have to articulate what they find important they will also start thinking about protecting those values.
- Reading with subsequent guided conversation.

Soul Shoppe encourages building healthy boundaries in children. Whether helping in the classroom or assisting parents at home, Soul Shoppe provides tools to help teachers and parents teach social emotional skills to children. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools or our parent support programs.

Teaching Children About Diversity

Unlearning Biases

People can develop implicit biases as early as four years of age (Harvard). That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to teach acceptance of diversity to children. It’s important to know what you’re up against when you start. From an early age, we develop instincts to think of people similar to us in “good” terms and people who are different in “bad” terms. According to Dr. Miao Qian, a postdoctoral research fellow with the Inequality in America Initiative, the way forward out of this pattern is a persistent effort to unlearn subconscious habits of stereotyping. Qian and her team are developing an app game designed to retrain people to new subconscious habits. Qian’s hope is to begin a trend of no longer equating different with bad.

According to Qian, unlearning bias will be the most effective tool in helping future generations grow up with better acceptance of diversity. The fact of the matter is that we inadvertently imbue children with subconscious prejudices. With care and vigilance, we can foster circumstances that will encourage new subconscious habits. The key to the future is unlearning biases.

There are a few things you can do, as educators, through teaching diversity in classroom activities. In addition, Soul Shoppe can help with online courses such as Respect Differences and Allies Against Racism.

Incorporate More Diversity into Reading Lists

Teacher with children - teaching children about diversity

Reading can be a powerful tool and diverse books are important.

The good news is that the need for diverse books is a known problem. Recently, writers and publishers have been doing a hard push to give less-represented voices a bigger platform (Harvard). The question, “Why aren’t there more people in these books like me?” can guide you. We’ve been using stories as a safe place to try out hard thoughts and feelings since we worked out how to light campfires.

It can be a powerful thing to strive for more diverse representations of racial backgrounds, sexual orientations, etc., in the literature you incorporate into curricula. Children tend to form a lot of biases from literature. Normative depictions of characters with diverse backgrounds can be a powerful influencing factor in how children develop or redefine biases (Harvard).

Diverse representation in reading lists creates more opportunities for conversations about prejudice. It’s difficult to judge what has influenced kids in their lives outside of the classroom. It’s equally difficult to anticipate what they will encounter that will influence how they develop biases. What an educator can do is set reading lists and know what’s on them.

It’s important to incorporate teaching about diversity in classroom activities because we’re dealing with largely subconscious biases developed from implicit influences. Relearning biases requires similarly implicit and subconscious tools.

Talking about Prejudice – Explicit Tools for Implicit Problems

Fear is an influencing factor in developing biases about anyone with a different background than yourself. A powerful tool to help with uncertainty and fear is creating a safe place to talk about hard subjects.

It’s important to talk about prejudice (Harvard). Children sometimes lack the vocabulary to talk about or make decisions about new things they haven’t encountered yet. Supervised conversations in a classroom setting can give children a sense that it’s safe to ask hard questions and that their views matter (Harvard).

In a classroom setting, children can think about questions they might not encounter explicitly in their daily lives. Questions like:

What does discrimination look like?
Have you ever been impacted by discrimination?

Conversations about prejudice and discrimination are difficult, but supervised conversation nurtures communication skills–both speaking and listening. Listening is an important step in accepting diverse perspectives.

How to Teach Diversity in the Classroom through Classroom Activities

As mentioned above, when diversity is taught through activities it can be extremely effective. Here are some ideas:

Say hello each day in various languages
Serve a snack from different cultures around the world
Create art inspired by different cultures

(WGU.edu)

Intolerance rests on a foundation of biases gained by both implicit and explicit influences. Addressing prejudices isn’t impossible, but it takes patience and persistence. Learning to accept diversity requires an effort to relearn subconscious biases, some of which we might not know are there. By incorporating more tools for empathizing with and normalizing diverse perspectives and backgrounds, it’s possible to make curricula that aid in teaching children about diversity.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for teachers and parents. Our Respect Differences online curriculum helps children learn about diversity. Click for more information.

Reading Social Cues

Social Cue Examples

There are four categories of social cues–facial expressions, body language, vocal pitch and tone, and personal space (also referred to as physical boundaries).

Facial Expressions

According to the US National Library of Medicine, “The expressions we see in the faces of others engage a number of different cognitive processes.” For this reason, assigning one’s facial expression to their emotional state and intention helps us make educated choices about how we interact with others.

For example, if a child sees that a classmate is frowning and, as a result, intuits that child is sad, they will take their sadness as a cue, telling them how to interact with their classmate. An empathetic child may ask their friend what’s wrong. A child who enjoys making people laugh may try to cheer their friend up.

Understanding what someone else is feeling helps us know how to best interact with them. If a child doesn’t have this ability, they may act in a way that is perceived as lacking boundaries or being uncaring, when that isn’t the case at all.

Just like facial expressions, body language is an example of a social cue.

Body Language

girls playing together - reading social cues

Body language is the science of nonverbal signals such as gestures, facial expressions, and eye gaze that communicate emotions and intentions (Science of People). People use their bodies to communicate all the time. Sometimes we purposely use our body language demonstratively. Other times our body language reveals our internal intentions without our awareness.

When children are good at reading social cues, it gives them confidence socially. When they have difficulty understanding body language, they may feel they are experiencing rejection or encounter confusing situations without knowing how to communicate the experience.

For example, if a group of three classmates is huddled together and speaking in whispered tones with their faces creating a small circle, the cue is clearly that this group needs privacy. If a child steps into the circle and asks, “Do you want to play?” they will likely be rebuffed. In this example, the child did not do anything wrong but may receive a response that makes them feel uncomfortable.

Reading body language is important to social interactions and social-emotional development. Another of these critical social cues is vocal pitch.

Vocal Pitch and Tone

Vocal pitch and tone fall under the category of nonverbal communication. Such communication has been studied extensively in the context of impression formation because people’s opinion about another person is not only based on what a person says (verbal cues) but also to a large extent on visual and vocal cues (Sporer & Schwandt). When children miss social cues reflected in another person’s voice, they may fail to understand the relationship between themselves and another person.

Furthermore, changes in vocal tone can change the meaning behind what someone says. For example, if a teacher asks a student if they completed their homework, a student might say, “Yes, I completed my homework?” in a high-pitched voice and with an upward inflection at the end of the sentence. This vocal cue might alert the teacher that the student did not finish their homework.

When a child misses social cues in terms of vocal pitch, they may take words too literally and end up missing jokes or another child’s intentions.

Vocal pitch is a social cue example, as is personal space.

Personal Space (Or Physical Boundaries)

In general, we tend to move close to those we are interested in knowing further or with whom we are comfortable, and we move away from those with whom we haven’t reached a high level of comfort. When a child misses a personal space social cue, they may stand too close to someone they are just meeting, or they may choose to stand at a great distance, thus sending a confusing signal to a friend.

Identifying personal space is important for children for various reasons–including safety, healthy social interactions, building accurate impressions of others, and feeling a general belonging within their communities.

Teaching Social Cues

There are several activities teachers and parents can use to teach social cues to the children in their lives. The following three activities were tested over time, and when they’re practiced often, can vastly improve a child’s ability to read social cues.

Reading Social Cues Activities

1. Monkey See, Monkey Do

This activity allows students to practice eye contact and recognize facial expressions. The objective is for students to mirror another person’s facial expressions. For example, you can furrow your brow and frown and have your students imitate you.

Other ideas for expressions or actions include smiling and puckering your lips or winking. Once students have successfully imitated your facial expression, you can ask them how they think you feel when making that face.

2. Emotion Charades

This activity teaches students how to interpret emotions. First, write down what you feel on small pieces of paper. Examples could include happy, angry, frustrated, confused, or sad. Fold the pieces of paper in half and place them in a hat.

Divide the class into two teams. A student from the first team picks a piece of paper from the hat and acts out the word written on the paper. Their teammates have one minute to guess the emotion. If they do, they get one point. The game continues, and a student from the other team picks a word and acts it out. When there are no words left, the game is over. (Study.com)

3. One Word Story

This activity helps students learn to stay on topic during conversations and understand others’ facial expressions during conversations.

Have your students sit in a circle and tell a story one word at a time. For example, the first student might say, “The,” then the second student could say, “boy,” the third could say, “played,” etc. The game’s objective is for the group to tell one cohesive story.

If you are looking for creative and innovative ways to teach children to read social cues, we invite you to reach out to our team!

In addition to working with students, Soul Shoppe supports the entire school community through the creation and facilitation of dynamic programs that give teachers and parents the necessary tools to foster social-emotional learning. Find out more about Soul Shoppe’s social-emotional learning programs, peacemakers certification, and more by contacting us.

Teaching Children How To Self-Soothe

What is Self Soothing?

People instinctively try to soothe their own stress. In children, this instinct to self-soothe can often look like fidgeting. Thumb-sucking, biting fingernails, and sucking on clothes, are all examples of potential self-soothing habits that children sometimes use to help them cope with stressful situations. Children might develop many other habits and behaviors to self-soothe as they grow. As a result, their instinctive behaviors might evolve or change.

Self-soothing can take many forms. Not all of them are clear and external, and not all of them are healthy or helpful. In fact, some children have trouble developing mechanisms for soothing their own stressful emotions. As children age, it becomes more important to teach children how to self-soothe, since some of the behaviors that small children use to self-soothe grow less socially appropriate.

In cases where children have developed potentially unhelpful self-soothing methods, or in situations where they have trouble developing self-soothing strategies of any kind, it might be prudent to teach better self-soothing techniques.

How to Teach an Older Child to Self-Soothe

Because coping with stress is the goal of self-soothing, children might instinctively resist learning new or different self-soothing strategies. An attempt to teach alternative self-soothing habits might look to children like taking away their coping mechanisms. As a result, educators must approach teaching new techniques with delicacy.

At the same time, it can be important to help children learn better self-soothing strategies as they grow. Stressors increase as children age. The self-soothing techniques that may have come instinctively to children may grow insufficient as they age.

The self-soothing techniques might also contribute to the stress and anxiety of the child if the technique attracts ridicule from other children. This might end up sabotaging their technique because a child might grow self-conscious about their instinctive technique, try not to use it, and then grow more and more agitated. Therefore, they need to replace the self-soothing technique with another soothing strategy.

When deciding how to teach an older child to self-soothe, there are two stages an educator should go through.

The first stage of teaching a new strategy for self-soothing is identifying any self-soothing techniques a child might already have a habit of using to cope with stress. For example:

Biting nails
Thumb sucking
Picking at cuticles
Sucking on clothing
General fidgeting

This is far from an exhaustive list. Educators and parents need to get to know their children’s habits. Once they do, it will become possible to identify which behaviors manifest to cope with stress. Identifying the self-soothing habits adopted by children will also mean gaining an idea of what causes them stress and gives them a need to use self-soothing strategies.

After working with the child to learn more about their self-soothing habits, then it’s possible to help them learn other self-soothing techniques. Some self-soothing techniques that might be useful to suggest include:

Changing their environment or something about their environment
Doing some stretches
Imagining soothing imagery
Focused breathing or counting breaths
Butterfly hugs–or the practice of gently patting themself on the chest with their hands crossed and telling themself they are safe

These self-soothing techniques are valuable tools to add to an educator’s or parent’s toolbox. There are a lot of legitimate and valuable self-soothing techniques out there. When deciding how to teach an older child to self-soothe, there are several options. Teaching these techniques prepares them for strong childhood development and long-term success in life.

Teaching Decision-Making Skills

Activities that encourage students to practice decision-making should supplement the rest of their education since decision-making skills are part of everyday life. (Harvard). Therefore, decision-making activities for students will constitute an important part of any social-emotional learning curriculum. Activities that encourage students to learn decision-making skills don’t need to be bland. You can even incorporate them into fun games.

Teaching decision-making skills to students will help them navigate challenging opportunities independently in the future. Educators will find it valuable to tailor their teaching activities to their specific students. Here are some ideas to start the process.

Decision-Making Activities for Students

Providing students with opportunities to learn decision-making skills will help with everything else in the classroom. Many decision-making activities for students involve opportunities to learn other important life skills since decision-making is a feature of many experiences. When students improve their decision-making abilities, they are essentially improving their own agency.

Let’s explore some activities that encourage students to practice decision-making skills. They might look like activities with other purposes, but they include valuable tools for students to practice making decisions.

Board Games

Board games are perfect tools for practicing decision-making skills. The more complicated the game, the better. With rules to remember and objectives to plan for, it’s almost like board games were designed as decision-making laboratories. They randomly generate scenarios where children have to weigh options and plan ahead within a set of designated parameters.

Board games are like miniaturized life experiences, including opportunities to make cost-benefit analyses. In board games, children are also faced with decisions concerning each others’ feelings and determinations.

An additional way of using board games to create decision-making opportunities is by asking students to play them in teams. If they play team-focused board games, they are faced with further opportunities to make decisions about cooperation, team building, and how to operate in a community.

Outdoor Games

A surefire way of encouraging children to learn anything is getting them to move around and learn actively. Outdoor games of any kind rest on twin foundations of rules and goals. A structured environment with risks and rewards gives children ample opportunity to practice decision-making.

Team activities, such as kickball or capture the flag, help students practice rapid decision-making while teaching them to see how they affect their group in real-time. Other activities, like Simon Says or Hide-and-Seek, provide opportunities for children to practice some self-aware decision-making, improving their sense of individuality.

Role Playing

Dramatic plays or other role-playing activities are great decision-making learning tools. Even if the role-play scenario is scripted, children are still getting an opportunity to practice imagining the world around them from a perspective beyond their own. Furthermore, whether the situation is scripted or not, students get to imagine the result of decisions they might not make otherwise. Students can even create their own role-playing scenarios with prompts.

Reading

The ultimate tool for engaging a student’s imagination is reading. Books are a perfect tool for students to see decisions play out, good or bad, as well as their consequences. Through the insights of literature, students will be able to have conversations about how and why someone might make certain decisions. As an educator, you can bring decision-making questions to the forefront of discussion.

Friendly Debate

In a moderated setting, debating different perspectives creates chances for students to think critically about the strengths and weaknesses of different courses of action. Students can articulate their own views on a given subject, and evaluate reasons against that view with moderation. This exercise helps students practice weighing the costs and benefits of decisions.

Decision-Making Skills in the Classroom

Creating tools for students to practice making decisions is important. Educators should build intentional environments where their students can hone their decision-making skills in safety. Then they can impress upon students that these skills practiced through games or activities can be implemented outside of the classroom too.

When educators need assistance with building lessons that create decision-making opportunities, Soul Shoppe helps with online SEL programs. Soul Shoppe encourages agency, empathy, conflict resolution, and more. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools or our parent support programs.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence, often referred to as EQ, is a psychological theory that measures a person’s ability to recognize, manage, and understand their emotions. It emphasizes an awareness of how our emotions affect our behavior, and learning to manage both.

It is essential that children gain these abilities and awareness in their journey to becoming empathetic, balanced adults who are capable of handling difficult situations. The five main components of one’s EQ are:

Empathy – The ability to understand the feelings and emotions of others.
Self awareness – The ability to recognize one’s own emotional state and give an accurate self assessment. This skill is necessary for emotional growth.
Self regulation – The ability to manage thoughts and emotions, as well as consider long term consequences.
Internal motivation – Behavior that is driven by intrinsic rewards. This skill helps people attain goals they set and achieve in every area.
Social Skills – Behaving in ways that are socially acceptable. In addition, knowing how to communicate with others.

Emotional Intelligence comprises a skill set with enormous benefits. With some effort, it can be learned by both children and adults.

Benefits of Teaching Emotional Intelligence

There are many benefits to teaching Emotional Intelligence. Primarily, it helps children perceive, manage, and regulate their own feelings and emotions. Beyond that, it also helps them understand the feelings of others. Together, these give children a lowered risk of depression and other mental illnesses (Stratford).

At the same time, high Emotional Intelligence, also known as an emotional quotient (EQ), allows a student to make better connections with others, which improves their friendships, their ability to work in teams, and their conflict resolution. In fact, people with higher Emotional Intelligence are more likely to get promoted at work and earn better salaries (Latrobe University). A study by the American Journal of Public Health found that students with high EQ were more likely to obtain college degrees (Stratford). For these reasons, teaching EQ gives children a better chance at career success and a better life in general.

Parenting Tips to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

Children begin developing their Emotional Intelligence through interaction with their parents or caregivers. Therefore, it is important that parents show children how to successfully manage their emotions. Here are some parenting tips that will help raise your child’s EQ.

Talk about feelings with your child. Children learn from adults modeling behaviors, and constructively expressing emotions is a healthy practice. Express how you are feeling to your child and allow them to see how to show the feeling in a productive way. For example, tell your child you are happy they are home from school, or you are frustrated that you had to work late. By doing so, you give them the chance to learn how to articulate feelings (Stratford).

Listen to your child. Listen to the emotions your child expresses, without trying to fix them. Instead, validate their feelings as real even if you don’t understand them (Penn State).

Recognize moods in the house. Help your child identify moods by asking, “What does it feel like to be in the house now?” Give hints if the child needs them. Gradually, children won’t need hints and will easily express the mood. Try this at different times, such as right before bedtime when it is quiet, or first thing in the morning when it is busy (Stratford).

Caring parent - teaching emotional intelligence

Model How to Appropriately Express Feelings. It is important that you consistently demonstrate how to express feelings in healthy ways. Children learn early on from their caregivers about what is appropriate when expressing emotions, so begin as soon as possible. Show them that as an adult, you are responsible for how you express your emotions, even during stressful times (Penn State).

Identify the feelings of others. Encourage children to recognize when others have big feelings. For example, if another child falls down on the playground, ask your child, “How do you think they feel?” Or, while children run happily in the park, ask, “How do you think they feel to be here?” Noticing others’ feelings and how they are like their own is an important part of your child’s developing empathy. (Stratford).

Label Feelings. Help your child label their feelings and empathize with why they feel that way. This will help them articulate their emotions. Offer words to help them do so, such as, “Do you think you’re feeling confused and disappointed, or just sad?” (Penn State).

See emotions as a way to connect and teach your child. Children’s emotional episodes should not be viewed as sources of frustration for you. Instead, re-frame them by seeing them as ways to connect and strengthen your relationship. By coaching your child through their tough or poorly timed emotions, your bond grows. And, over time, they will have fewer outbursts. It’s a worthwhile investment to improve both your relationship and their emotional control. (Gottman).

Help your child solve problems with limits. While all emotions are acceptable, some behaviors are not. Teach your child problem-solving skills to help them cope with big emotions. Also, be clear about how children can express their feelings. While screaming and shouting are not acceptable, expressing sadness and frustration are. Be consistent about your expectations and have patience. Sometimes, having your child set goals with rewards can be helpful. Goals can include special time with parents and caregivers. (Gottman).

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs, including SEL programs for elementary schools, and programs on Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, inclusivity, allyship, conflict resolution strategies for students, and more.

Sources:

Gottman, Latrobe University, Penn State, Sonoma State University, Stratford

Teaching Empathy to Kids and Teenagers

While the focus in school is often on literacy and STEM subjects, emotional intelligence is an important part of learning. However, often there isn’t time to focus solely on emotional intelligence when already on a tight schedule. Fortunately, leading by example is one aspect of teaching emotional intelligence, especially the concept of empathy. Teaching empathy to kids is a matter of creating a safe environment for children to express themselves and ask questions. In other words, both teachers and parents can teach empathy through example and daily activities.

What Is Empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand the thoughts, feelings or experiences of others. It is an action that requires being aware of or being sensitive to other people’s emotions. There are two aspects of empathy: affective empathy and cognitive empathy (UC Berkeley). Affective empathy is when you feel what another person is feeling and mirror them. Cognitive empathy is understanding the emotions of others. In this article, we’ll focus on cognitive empathy.

Empathy is a key ingredient in relationship building. Studies have shown that it helps to reduce prejudices, leads to greater happiness, and even improves health (UC Berkeley).

Teaching Empathy To Kids Through Daily Tasks

Parents or guardians can teach empathy to kids when conducting daily tasks such as catching the bus or when you’re at the store. Pointing out body language and explaining how someone else might be feeling enables young people to begin identifying a world outside their own. It is also important to encourage children to ask questions. When they ask questions, you know they are internalizing your explanations and can start to think for themselves, rather than relying on external guidance.

Mistakes

Teaching empathy to elementary students requires that they are given the opportunity to make mistakes. Younger children learn better from mimicking behavior. Therefore, being patient and allowing them a chance to make errors enables them to adopt this kind of behavior in the future when they are supporting their friends. It will also help them when resolving conflicts of their own. They begin to build a picture that emotions aren’t about expectations and planning, but about reacting to life as in unfurls before them. This will enable them to build healthy relationships with those around them. Especially in cases where the other children and people they come into contact with are different from them.

Listening

It is also crucial that you teach kids empathy by encouraging them to listen. This is not just listening to your explanations, but listening to their own thoughts of feelings and that of others. In these conversations, they have the opportunity to understand differences and develop the ability to put themselves in other people’s shoes. Asking your children to think about their own thoughts and feelings is a starting point. Then they’ll need to apply that to how others may be thinking and feeling. A greater self-awareness develops a deeper understanding of emotions more generally.

How To Teach Empathy To A Teenager

Teenagers are different from younger children as they stop mimicking behavior they learn from their teachers and parents or guardians. Instead, they begin to find their own way. Often these choices can seem like an act of rebellion. However, this is just a matter of trying to figure out the world in their own way. It is vital that you continue to allow teenagers to make mistakes as you would any young person, and that you continue to lead by example. As a role model, you can recall times you have also made mistakes and teach them empathy by practicing it yourself.

At times, you may need to call out behaviors that are inappropriate; more so with teenagers than you would with younger children. However, this should not come as punishment. Instead, you must check and balance their reactions with your own response. Contextualize the situation and create space for them to express themselves freely. By listening and responding accordingly, you are demonstrating empathy in your own actions. So, it is therefore reasonable that you ask them to do the same. This helps them to develop their conflict resolution skills as you aren’t shying away from more difficult conversations. At home or in school, they can practice empathy in a safe environment. Then they can apply this to situations they face in the real world.

Activities To Teach Empathy

There are many ways to actively teach empathy that supplement day-to-day interactions. Empathy activities for kids include stories, role-playing, and even creative writing or art. Here are a few:

Read. According to research, children who read fiction are more likely to understand other people’s emotions and intentions.

Study facial expressions. Children can learn to identify other people’s emotions by studying facial expressions. You can find a variety of worksheets and games online to help children better identify expressions and emotions.

Play games. When children compete in games they are creating a mental model of other people’s intentions and thoughts.

Play music in a group. A recent study showed that playing music together, such as in a band, increases empathy.

Sports. Sports and team activities provide children with knowledge of how others behave and why they behave in the ways they do in conversation with their own. In these instances, it is important to emphasize teamwork and sportsmanship above competition and winning.

Active Imagining. Activities where children are actively imagining situations involving others is another great way to boost empathy.

Check out Soul Shoppe’s Pinterest board for activities on emotional intelligence and empathy. Experience the emotional intelligence online course for children in 4th and 5th grade.

Soul Shoppe creates cultures of compassion, connection and curiosity. We teach social emotional development to children, teachers and professionals across the U.S.

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Teaching Kindness in the Classroom

The importance of teaching kindness to elementary students cannot be overstated. (Harvard) Students rely on two aspects of the classroom to learn valuable life lessons. Overtly, students rely on lessons and planned curriculum. On a more subtle, but no less important level, students learn from interpersonal interactions with their teachers and fellow students.

When it comes to teaching kindness in the classroom, both overt and subtle strategies can come into play. Kindness activities for kids can be incorporated into the curriculum. Furthermore, a general policy promoting kindness through action is important.

Teaching Kindness in the Classroom

When educators teach kindness, they will need to pay attention to their own behaviors. Since kindness is a learned behavior, children will watch the way their teachers, parents, and fellow students act. Children will also look for cues in their communities to show them how to behave in different social situations. Kids constantly observe and mimic adults. They understand when adults are only saying they value kindness and empathy when in reality, they are making selfish decisions. (Today) Therefore, it’s important to display genuine kindness.

The minds of children are sponges. Everything they see will guide and reinforce their behavioral choices. Here are some recommendations (PBS):

Model kindness: Think through the regular interactions during a day that students might see (e.g. waiting in line for a drink, borrowing a pencil), and be careful to approach those interactions with kindness.
Intentionally teach empathy: Whenever possible, incorporate intentional messages of empathy into discussions of social interactions, for example, when addressing conflict in the classroom.
Celebrate acts of kindness: Rewards help reinforce behaviors. If students learn to associate acts of kindness with positive reinforcement in the classroom, it will help them to learn to associate kindness and positive outcomes.
Regular meetings: Since kindness is a learned behavior, facilitating opportunities for students to take ownership of their actions reinforces positive behaviors. Educators can incorporate class meetings with regular conversations that prompt students to discuss acts of kindness. This creates a tool for students to encourage each other and reinforces lessons.
Emphasis on friendship: Children might not all be best friends with one another, but they can learn solidarity and care for one another. Students can learn that communities should watch out for each other and take care of each other. Recognizing that friendship means caring is a valuable lesson for children to help them lead rewarding lives.

Teaching kindness in the classroom has to be approached holistically. Many lessons in kindness will be incidental to behaviors and interactions throughout the day.

Kindness Activities for Kids

It’s valuable to reinforce lessons learned through interactions with more intentional learning activities.

There are many resources available to educators that promote teaching kindness. Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart is a comprehensive online program that teaches social emotional skills, including kindness, empathy, and connection.

Here are some additional ideas to get you started (NaturesPath):

Cooperative activities: Activities that require cooperation between students in order to achieve goals provide ample opportunities for children to practice kindness, especially if educators are there to moderate and guide interactions. Activities like outdoor team sports or playing board games on teams put students in situations where they can practice kindness.
Volunteering opportunities: Field trips to volunteer at animal shelters, homes for the elderly, or food banks give children chances to practice kindness in immersive contexts.
Write letters to soldiers on active duty. Writing letters to cheer up soldiers who are deployed away from their families and friends promotes writing skills and demonstrates an act of kindness.
Bake cookies for local heroes: Firefighters, local police departments, EMTs, first responders, nurses, etc. all work long shifts. Bringing them sweets, whether baked or bought, is a simple act of kindness to brighten their days.
Engage in community fundraising for charity: Students can write letters to local businesses asking them for donations to a specific charity, for example, Rise Against Hunger. This helps students take an active role in raising funds for charities and teaches them to utilize the community resources that are available, rather than just their own means to enact kindness.
Practice compassion through the power of role play: Create a group assignment where students write and produce a play about an act of kindness. Teaching kindness to kids is powerful when educators guide them in a way that ultimately helps kids teach themselves.
Reading: There are a lot of books out there about kindness. (ReadBrightly) Never underestimate the power of stories as teaching tools. Find a book list with kindness as its central theme and assign some reading.

When it comes to teaching kindness in the classroom, educators must approach it from an understanding that children learn by both watching and participating. If an educator would like assistance with teaching kindness in the classroom, you can receive help with virtual social learning activities. Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for children and educators that are available online and in schools.

Soul Shoppe strategies encourage kindness in children. Whether helping in the classroom or assisting parents at home, Soul Shoppe brings kindness to the forefront of the discussion. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools or our parent support programs.

Respect Games for Students

Everybody is Unique (EducationWorld)

This game is appropriate for grades K-8. The basic premise is to create positive emotional relationships with the things that make people different from each other.

Materials:

Paper
Art supplies

Method:

Begin by writing the word “Unique” in some prominent place in your classroom–chalkboard or on a big piece of paper on the wall.
Students write down positive aspects of other people that are different from themselves. Emphasize choosing unique characteristics that they like.
Lead a discussion on these unique characteristics. Talk about why differences are important and good.

Compliment Journal (Drake)

Teacher with student as they journal - teaching respect activities

For this game, students will systematically get in the habit of using positive language in their interactions and will try to find positive features in other people.

Materials:

A journal for every student.

Method:

Every day for a week, students will give a sincere compliment to someone.
They will create a weekly planner with the provided journal and track their progress.
Every day they track who they complimented, who complimented them, and how they reacted.

Simon Says “Who are You?” (Education World)

This game encourages students to celebrate their differences and similarities.

Material:

None

Method:

Play Simon Says, but form Simon’s Instructions by mentioning some features people sometimes share.
- “Simon says, everyone with long hair, stand up.”
- “Simon says, everyone who likes cats, touch your head.”

What Respect Sounds Like (AliciaOrtega)

The purpose of this game is to encourage children to imagine respectful behaviors in their lives outside the classroom.

Material:

Flashcards
Markers

Method:

Prepare cards ahead of time with words corresponding to respectful human traits and behaviors:
- Saying, “Thank you.”
- Sharing your chips.
- Asking to leave.
In the classroom, ask your students to sort the flashcards into two piles:
- What respect sounds like.
- What respect looks like.

Respectful Stories (Drake)

Movies and books are good teaching tools if they’re used right. Stories are places where children can interact with hard ideas in a safe environment.

Materials:

A book or half-hour TV show
Notebook and pencil (optional, but useful for keeping discussion organized)

Method:

Watch the show or read the book with the students.
Take notes during the show or book.
After watching the show or reading the book, have an organized discussion.
Ask, “who was respectful?” “Who wasn’t respectful?”

Respectful Vocabulary (Drake)

Understanding more words about a subject helps students comprehend and use the lessons to a higher degree. In this game, students will learn synonyms for and terms related to “respect.”

Materials:

Dictionary
Construction paper
Markers

Method:

All students look up the word “respect” in a dictionary.
They will find at least ten synonyms or terms related to the word “respect” or “respectful.”
Everyone writes down the terms they’ve looked up on strips of construction paper.
Now make a chain from all the strips. Celebrate every foot in length the chain accumulates.

Teaching Respect in the Classroom

This is far from an exhaustive list of respect activities for elementary students that educators might incorporate into curricula. Games like these take time, but they engage students on multiple levels and encourage them to internalize ideas and practices encouraging respect in and outside of the classroom. These activities can also be used by parents when homeschooling.

Teaching respect helps to promote cooperation and acceptance. The classroom is the place that children associate with learning important lessons to prepare them for success in life. Therefore, it’s the perfect place to incorporate activities on respect.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs. For more than twenty years they’ve been devoted to creating tools and empowering educators of all stripes to incorporate emotional intelligence into their curricula. Their strategies are effective in encouraging empathy and emotional awareness in children. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools. Click here for the respect differences online program.

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Scheduling Now for the 2018-19 School Year

Are you thinking about bringing Soul Shoppe’s award winning programs to your school? Get in touch! Contact us for more information or to book for the 2018-19 school year. Find out what others have to say about the impact our programs have had.

Thank You 2020 PeaceMaker Students!

Dear Wonderful Peacemakers,

Hello!! Missing you all!! Thinking of you, and hoping you and your loved ones are all well and safe at home.

Join Soul Shoppe Live

Arek shares stories and useful home practices for CHECKING IN WITH FAMILY, to help everyone get along wonderfully well.

Jill and some adorable friends share the benefits of DROPPING YOUR STORY, to help people (and puppets!) get back to peace and fun at home.

Thank you, Peacemakers!!!!!

Dara, Arek, Jill and the entire team at Soul Shoppe

The Same Same Different Game

“The things that make me different are the things that make me.” – Winnie The Pooh

_________________

We’re all different in our own unique ways. We have different appearances, talents, and abilities. We all think, feel, behave, and believe differently. That’s what makes life so interesting!

Sometimes we celebrate these differences. We heap praise on people like Steve Jobs, Serena Williams, and Greta Thunberg who break the mold and challenge the status quo. But sometimes we exclude, judge, or disparage people because we think they aren’t like us.

At Soul Shoppe, we show kids that if we just take the time to look beneath the surface, we’ll find that we have a lot more in common than we think. But how do we learn to really see beyond our outer appearances and get to know someone for what’s inside?

We can play the Same Same Different Game.

Last week, over 350 students joined us to play what we call the Same Same Different Game! How does it work? Well, we asked kids to look at two different people –me and our big-hearted facilitator Arek – and describe the differences and similarities they saw.

They pointed out that I’m a girl and Arek is a boy. They noted that we both have dark hair, though mine’s long and his is short. But our gender and our hair don’t make us who we are! There’s so much more that makes us unique, and these young people know it. They understand how to find the things we all have in common, whether it’s a love of dancing or a distaste for brussel sprouts.

But learning to appreciate and honor our differences takes practice. That’s why we created Respect Differences.

Respect Differences is an online course designed to teach K-6th grade kids how to recognize and appreciate all the things that make us unique. In this on-demand course, kids are guided through lessons that will help them build up their self-esteem so that they can show more empathy toward people with ideas, appearances, likes, and dislikes different from their own.

We show kids how they can play the Same Same Different Game to celebrate differences all the time. Visit our website and learn more. Or, you can click the button below.

Learn more.

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