Soul Shoppe's work is made possible by donors and partners who care deeply about the young people in their communities! We can't do this work without you. Support our work in classrooms and on playgrounds across the nation by donating here.
When it comes to learning about diversity, children have a huge advantage over adults. If a child encounters something new, they tend to accept it as a part of life with limited judgment. The natural impulse for most people when encountering something confusing is to label it as weird (Qian). When we’re children, we have two ways to develop context clues to support value judgments. One way is through explicit means, like explanations from parents and teachers. The other way is by implicit means, such as pop culture depictions and witnessed interpersonal interactions (Harvard). Educators should be aware of both means of developing value judgments when teaching children about diversity. Even though we can’t control the implicit formation of prejudice, it’s important to understand how your teaching choices explicitly affect a child’s developing understanding of diversity.
Teaching Children About Diversity
Unlearning Biases
People can develop implicit biases as early as four years of age (Harvard). That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to teach acceptance of diversity to children. It’s important to know what you’re up against when you start. From an early age, we develop instincts to think of people similar to us in “good” terms and people who are different in “bad” terms. According to Dr. Miao Qian, a postdoctoral research fellow with the Inequality in America Initiative, the way forward out of this pattern is a persistent effort to unlearn subconscious habits of stereotyping. Qian and her team are developing an app game designed to retrain people to new subconscious habits. Qian’s hope is to begin a trend of no longer equating different with bad.
According to Qian, unlearning bias will be the most effective tool in helping future generations grow up with better acceptance of diversity. The fact of the matter is that we inadvertently imbue children with subconscious prejudices. With care and vigilance, we can foster circumstances that will encourage new subconscious habits. The key to the future is unlearning biases.
There are a few things you can do, as educators, through teaching diversity in classroom activities. In addition, Soul Shoppe can help with online courses such as Respect Differences and Allies Against Racism.
Incorporate More Diversity into Reading Lists
Reading can be a powerful tool and diverse books are important.
The good news is that the need for diverse books is a known problem. Recently, writers and publishers have been doing a hard push to give less-represented voices a bigger platform (Harvard). The question, “Why aren’t there more people in these books like me?” can guide you. We’ve been using stories as a safe place to try out hard thoughts and feelings since we worked out how to light campfires.
It can be a powerful thing to strive for more diverse representations of racial backgrounds, sexual orientations, etc., in the literature you incorporate into curricula. Children tend to form a lot of biases from literature. Normative depictions of characters with diverse backgrounds can be a powerful influencing factor in how children develop or redefine biases (Harvard).
Diverse representation in reading lists creates more opportunities for conversations about prejudice. It’s difficult to judge what has influenced kids in their lives outside of the classroom. It’s equally difficult to anticipate what they will encounter that will influence how they develop biases. What an educator can do is set reading lists and know what’s on them.
It’s important to incorporate teaching about diversity in classroom activities because we’re dealing with largely subconscious biases developed from implicit influences. Relearning biases requires similarly implicit and subconscious tools.
Talking about Prejudice – Explicit Tools for Implicit Problems
Fear is an influencing factor in developing biases about anyone with a different background than yourself. A powerful tool to help with uncertainty and fear is creating a safe place to talk about hard subjects.
It’s important to talk about prejudice (Harvard). Children sometimes lack the vocabulary to talk about or make decisions about new things they haven’t encountered yet. Supervised conversations in a classroom setting can give children a sense that it’s safe to ask hard questions and that their views matter (Harvard).
In a classroom setting, children can think about questions they might not encounter explicitly in their daily lives. Questions like:
What does discrimination look like?
Have you ever been impacted by discrimination?
Conversations about prejudice and discrimination are difficult, but supervised conversation nurtures communication skills–both speaking and listening. Listening is an important step in accepting diverse perspectives.
How to Teach Diversity in the Classroom through Classroom Activities
As mentioned above, when diversity is taught through activities it can be extremely effective. Here are some ideas:
Say hello each day in various languages
Serve a snack from different cultures around the world
Intolerance rests on a foundation of biases gained by both implicit and explicit influences. Addressing prejudices isn’t impossible, but it takes patience and persistence. Learning to accept diversity requires an effort to relearn subconscious biases, some of which we might not know are there. By incorporating more tools for empathizing with and normalizing diverse perspectives and backgrounds, it’s possible to make curricula that aid in teaching children about diversity.
Most adults understand that gratitude is more than saying thank you when receiving a gift or compliment. Gratitude is an attitude of the heart.
Some parents may ask, “What is gratitude for kids?” It’s one thing to teach children to say thank you–express gratitude–and it’s another to live with an attitude of gratitude.
This article will discuss how to teach gratitude to kids. We’ll also share some great gratitude activities for kids.
What Is Gratitude For Kids?
When some of our team members were on-site at a school just before the pandemic hit, they discussed gratitude with a group of children. One child said, “Gratitude means you’re happy when your parents give you something.” The team smiled at the child and used their response to discuss further.
Webster’s dictionary defines gratitude as “A feeling of appreciation or thanks.” Children experience feelings–or attitudes–of thanks many times throughout their days. When a teacher calls on them in class–thus expressing an interest in their thoughts–or when a classmate compliments them. Other instances can include when someone lets them borrow a pencil, or someone else plays nicely with them at recess.
All these examples help children connect the idea of gratitude to the feeling of thanks.
When we talk about what gratitude is for kids, we need to remember not to focus on material goods but on the actions of others and whatever provision we have in our lives.
A child in one of our online sessions explained gratitude this way, “It is how I felt when my mom smiled at me when I was nice to my sister.” At 9-years old, this child expressed a social-emotional response that led to them feeling warm and accepted.
Another student in high school described gratitude as “Recognizing the fact that someone else truly sees me.” This response indicates a more developed understanding of the complex nature of feelings and interpersonal relationships. It also describes an internal response to an outward stimulus.
We share these examples, in particular, to highlight the fact that how you explain gratitude to a child will vary in terms of their ages. Fortunately, most children have experienced this and therefore, can relate to definitions of the words and actions that exemplify what it feels like internally.
The children’s entertainment organization PBS reminds us that children imitate the adults in their lives. To that end, we can show children what gratitude looks like when we consistently thank others for both big and small acts of kindness.
PBS writes, “Encourage your child to follow suit. When you write a thank you note to someone they know, let them add a picture or dictate a few words. As they get older, encourage them to write their own thank you cards or make thank you gifts for people who have touched their lives, such as teachers, coaches, or community helpers.” Showing gratitude in front of your children and then involving them in expressions of appreciation helps them make the connections between what gratitude looks like and how it feels.
There are several activities teachers can use in their classrooms, and parents can use at home to teach gratitude to kids.
Gratitude Activities for Kids
These activities can bring gratitude to life and help kids celebrate the positive feelings associated with such a fantastic attitude!
Each of the following gratitude activities for kids can be modified to your child’s level of development.
Create a Gratitude Jar
All you need to create a gratitude jar is a large clear container, a stack of sticky notes, and a pen (or brightly colored markers if you’re feeling creative).
Each evening, invite everyone in the family to write or draw something they are grateful for. They can depict something that happened that day or a mainstay in their lives, such as their pet, a favorite food, or a special friend. On Fridays, read the gratitude notes as a family and celebrate each one with smiles, applause, etc.
Create a Gratitude Vision Board
Vision boards are an excellent way for children to keep the positive aspects of their lives in front of them so when they’re feeling down, isolated, or sad, they can quickly reference their vision boards and remind themselves how much they have to be grateful for.
Gather magazines, construction paper, stickers, and any other media to help children describe what it means to be grateful. Have them create a list of things, people, or places for which they are thankful. Then have them fill their vision boards with words or photos that represent the items on their list.
Gratitude Prompts
Gratitude prompts are a great way to help children begin a consistent gratitude practice. All they need to do is consider each prompt and then fill in the blanks. The goal is to identify at least three things in each category they are thankful for. Then have them share.
Have children choose three people in their lives who have treated them with kindness or consistently made them feel seen and heard. Then invite them to write a thank you note to each of the people they’ve chosen. The notes should include three ways in which the person made them feel loved or cared for and three ways in which they learned something about gratitude due to the person’s kindness.
Ask the students to send these notes via email, mail, or in-person with their parents’ help.
Teaching gratitude to kids helps them recognize what thankfulness feels like and looks like, as well as how it can improve the lives of those who give it and receive it. Gratitude is a powerful tool in teaching children that they can recognize beauty and kindness in the world and offer it to others.
Soul Shoppe’s mission is to create safe environments that bring forth a culture of compassion, connection, and curiosity. Our innovative, interactive, and highly effective social emotional learning programs give parents, homeschoolers, teachers, and corporations important lifelong skills. Our online programs include the Peacemakers Program, Respecting Differences, Tools of the Heart, and more.
Students can quickly become overwhelmed when they have a lot of work to do but haven’t yet been equipped with the skill of goal setting. Overwhelmed students may act as though they are disinterested, aloof, or even lazy. They may appear to engage in an approach-avoidance cycle that adults interpret as a lack of motivation when the reality is that they aren’t sure how their present assignments will lead them to achieve their future goals.
Goal setting for students is vital. Every child needs to be equipped with a clear objective, as well as tactics to help them achieve their objectives when obstacles arise.
This article will discuss the importance of goal setting for students and practical ways to teach it.
Goal Setting for Students
The Importance of Goal Setting
EducationWeek states, “Goal setting helps students to be more aware of the learning that they are expected to experience. This awareness helps students to be engaged in the learning process. Mastery-oriented goals give students the opportunity to focus on learning standards and their own growth.”
As indicated above, there is a strong connection between a student’s understanding of their trajectory in the classroom and their ability to self-assess their learning progress.
For example, most teachers clearly define the student objective inherent within any given lesson plan. Most lesson plans begin with the words, “At the end of this lesson the students will be able to . . . “ Or some such similar statement. Clearly defining the objective of the lesson helps guide the teacher in their planning.
Why not share the objective of your lesson with the students?
Research shows that when you write the day’s objective on the board for all the students to see, they learn how to compare and contrast the day’s goals with their own experience. If a teacher writes, “At the end of this lesson, the students will be able to list the elements of a structured essay,” you are giving clear instructions as well as setting clear goals for your students. Students can, in turn, learn what goal setting looks like and how to measure their progress.
When objectives are social emotional rather than task-based, the objective may sometimes go unspoken. When implementing activities related to social-emotional learning, sharing goals is important. In addition, creating a chart of classroom goals together can help students see what outcomes the classroom wants to achieve while taking an active role in deciding the desired outcome. In this case, the class may come up with ideas like “be respectful to others.” Because the goal is their own and not just given to them, they may take a more active role in ensuring that outcome.
The importance of goal setting for students is that they learn to recognize a goal and outcome so they can eventually create roadmaps for themselves in any area of their lives.
Practical Ways You Can Teach Goal Setting for Students
Goal Setting for Older Students
One of the most widely accepted and practical approaches to goal setting for students is found in the acronym SMART.
Smart goals for students include the following tenants:
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time-based
Let’s get more specific about how to set a smart goal.
Specific
The career search website Indeed discusses smart goals at length. Indeed explains, “By setting objectives and creating a clear roadmap for how you’ll reach your intended target, you can decide how to apply your time and resources to make progress.” This sentiment is a good reminder that what we teach our students about setting goals will follow them into their adulthood and careers.
When you are teaching smart goals for students, you can begin with helping them understand what it means to make a specific goal. The guidelines for setting a specific goal include the 3 S’s:
Simple. Sensible. Significant.
For example, if a student struggles with the concept of long division in math class, they might make a specific goal to help focus their efforts and feel motivated to achieve it. In this case, the student might decide they want to become better at long division because they want to master the skill to move onto the next level of math.
Measurable
Measurable goals help students track their progress and stay focused.
Using the example above, the student might set a goal to practice long division for 20 minutes a day. This is a measurable goal because it includes a specific amount of time and defines a piece of evidence that can prove progress.
Attainable
Setting attainable goals means the goal should stretch your student’s abilities but remain possible.
An attainable goal for a student who wants to become better at long division might be to get a better grade on their next math quiz. So, a student who earned a 60% on one quiz might set the goal of achieving a 70% on their next quiz. This goal is attainable because it is realistic and not overwhelming.
Relevant
Relevant goals are those that matter to your students. Part of the importance of goal setting for students is that they learn to recognize which tasks are essential to spend time on and which are not as relevant to their future endeavors.
Your students’ goals should align with their values and larger, long-term goals. In the example of a student who is struggling with long division, you might encourage them to think about how mastering the skill of long division will help them move on to the next level of math, which will, in turn, help them achieve the goal of graduation to the next grade level.
Connecting tasks to specific outcomes that relate directly to a student’s vision for their future works as a motivator and a source of inspiration!
Time-Based
Setting a clear and specific end-time or end-date for each goal helps students maintain stamina and focus because they know there is an end in sight–especially when they’re working on something they might not be interested in.
The math student might decide, “To achieve my goal of mastering the skill of long division, I will practice these math skills every day for 20 minutes until the next math quiz. Then, I will reassess the amount of time I spend practicing math.”
Short-term goals can help students keep the end in sight, and they also give you, as the teacher or parent, an opportunity to reward their efforts. If they achieve their goal of earning a 10% higher grade on the following math quiz, you can celebrate their success, thus motivating them further. If they don’t achieve their goal, you can celebrate the work they put in and help them reassess their strategies.
Students must learn early on that not reaching a goal the first time is a natural part of learning and growth. Celebrating their determination is just as important as celebrating their victories.
Goal Setting for Younger Students
Goal setting for younger students often needs a more hands-on approach and more practice. In this case the SMART acronym will need to be broken down further. Younger students will need regular instruction on how to set effective goals. Here’s how to break down SMART goals for younger students:
Specific: What exactly do you want to accomplish?
Measurable: How will you know when your goal is set?
Attainable: Is it possible to meet this goal?
Relevant: Is the goal worth your work and effort?
Timely: What is the deadline you want to set to achieve your goal?
To help younger students understand concepts of specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely, it’s helpful for them to explore opposites. For example, “What is specific versus vague,” or “What is measurable versus non-measurable.” This activity can help them better understand the meaning and importance of each term.
Conclusion
Actively having your students participate in classroom goals, having them set specific goals for their tasks, and leading by example are all great ways to introduce goal setting into the classroom. Implementing SMART goals is also helpful because it gives students a framework that is easy to remember and repeat.
At Soul Shoppe, our mission is to transform schools and communities by cultivating awareness, empathy, and connection. Soul Shoppe transforms learning communities into inclusive, empathy–based environments by teaching kids and adults the social–emotional skills they need to navigate life’s difficulties with compassion and self–awareness. From the Peacemakers program to online elementary school SEL programs, and parent programs, Soul Shoppe brings social emotional programs directly to you.
Reach out to us for more information on supporting you as you support our kids and communities!
Reading social cues is an essential part of being a caring member of society at every age. Sometimes, people learn these cues naturally. In other cases, they must be taught.
Children who struggle with social skills sometimes have trouble picking up on social cues, which can lead them to misunderstand people or situations. For this reason, it’s important to teach children how to read social cues.
Reading social cues can be taught through a series of activities. This article will discuss social cue examples and teaching social cues.
Reading Social Cues
Social Cue Examples
There are four categories of social cues–facial expressions, body language, vocal pitch and tone, and personal space (also referred to as physical boundaries).
Facial Expressions
According to the US National Library of Medicine, “The expressions we see in the faces of others engage a number of different cognitive processes.” For this reason, assigning one’s facial expression to their emotional state and intention helps us make educated choices about how we interact with others.
For example, if a child sees that a classmate is frowning and, as a result, intuits that child is sad, they will take their sadness as a cue, telling them how to interact with their classmate. An empathetic child may ask their friend what’s wrong. A child who enjoys making people laugh may try to cheer their friend up.
Understanding what someone else is feeling helps us know how to best interact with them. If a child doesn’t have this ability, they may act in a way that is perceived as lacking boundaries or being uncaring, when that isn’t the case at all.
Just like facial expressions, body language is an example of a social cue.
Body Language
Body language is the science of nonverbal signals such as gestures, facial expressions, and eye gaze that communicate emotions and intentions (Science of People). People use their bodies to communicate all the time. Sometimes we purposely use our body language demonstratively. Other times our body language reveals our internal intentions without our awareness.
When children are good at reading social cues, it gives them confidence socially. When they have difficulty understanding body language, they may feel they are experiencing rejection or encounter confusing situations without knowing how to communicate the experience.
For example, if a group of three classmates is huddled together and speaking in whispered tones with their faces creating a small circle, the cue is clearly that this group needs privacy. If a child steps into the circle and asks, “Do you want to play?” they will likely be rebuffed. In this example, the child did not do anything wrong but may receive a response that makes them feel uncomfortable.
Reading body language is important to social interactions and social-emotional development. Another of these critical social cues is vocal pitch.
Vocal Pitch and Tone
Vocal pitch and tone fall under the category of nonverbal communication. Such communication has been studied extensively in the context of impression formation because people’s opinion about another person is not only based on what a person says (verbal cues) but also to a large extent on visual and vocal cues (Sporer & Schwandt). When children miss social cues reflected in another person’s voice, they may fail to understand the relationship between themselves and another person.
Furthermore, changes in vocal tone can change the meaning behind what someone says. For example, if a teacher asks a student if they completed their homework, a student might say, “Yes, I completed my homework?” in a high-pitched voice and with an upward inflection at the end of the sentence. This vocal cue might alert the teacher that the student did not finish their homework.
When a child misses social cues in terms of vocal pitch, they may take words too literally and end up missing jokes or another child’s intentions.
Vocal pitch is a social cue example, as is personal space.
Personal Space (Or Physical Boundaries)
In general, we tend to move close to those we are interested in knowing further or with whom we are comfortable, and we move away from those with whom we haven’t reached a high level of comfort. When a child misses a personal space social cue, they may stand too close to someone they are just meeting, or they may choose to stand at a great distance, thus sending a confusing signal to a friend.
Identifying personal space is important for children for various reasons–including safety, healthy social interactions, building accurate impressions of others, and feeling a general belonging within their communities.
Teaching Social Cues
There are several activities teachers and parents can use to teach social cues to the children in their lives. The following three activities were tested over time, and when they’re practiced often, can vastly improve a child’s ability to read social cues.
Reading Social Cues Activities
1. Monkey See, Monkey Do
This activity allows students to practice eye contact and recognize facial expressions. The objective is for students to mirror another person’s facial expressions. For example, you can furrow your brow and frown and have your students imitate you.
Other ideas for expressions or actions include smiling and puckering your lips or winking. Once students have successfully imitated your facial expression, you can ask them how they think you feel when making that face.
2. Emotion Charades
This activity teaches students how to interpret emotions. First, write down what you feel on small pieces of paper. Examples could include happy, angry, frustrated, confused, or sad. Fold the pieces of paper in half and place them in a hat.
Divide the class into two teams. A student from the first team picks a piece of paper from the hat and acts out the word written on the paper. Their teammates have one minute to guess the emotion. If they do, they get one point. The game continues, and a student from the other team picks a word and acts it out. When there are no words left, the game is over. (Study.com)
3. One Word Story
This activity helps students learn to stay on topic during conversations and understand others’ facial expressions during conversations.
Have your students sit in a circle and tell a story one word at a time. For example, the first student might say, “The,” then the second student could say, “boy,” the third could say, “played,” etc. The game’s objective is for the group to tell one cohesive story.
If you are looking for creative and innovative ways to teach children to read social cues, we invite you to reach out to our team!
In addition to working with students, Soul Shoppe supports the entire school community through the creation and facilitation of dynamic programs that give teachers and parents the necessary tools to foster social-emotional learning. Find out more about Soul Shoppe’s social-emotional learning programs, peacemakers certification, and more by contacting us.
If you’re a parent or teacher, you know your small kids experience big feelings. Sometimes they seem to come out of nowhere, while other times, your kids have emotional responses that you can easily trace to some prior moment in the day. Regardless of how their feelings are stirred up, we must normalize talking about them.
Children who are taught that talking about feelings is healthy will learn not to bottle up their life experiences. Instead, they’ll learn to share them and process them. Just like adults, when kids begin to understand their emotions and name them, they have a fighting chance of working through their feelings.
This article will discuss talking about feelings and teaching your child to identify and express them.
Talking About Feelings
What Is The Difference Between Emotions And Feelings?
While emotions and feelings are used interchangeably, they are slightly different. Emotions are bodily reactions that occur through neurotransmitters and hormones in the brain (iMotions). Feelings, on the other hand, are a conscious experience.
Talking About Feelings Helps Children Process
Though emotions can be as unique as the children who experience them, there are generally four big emotions in which everyone’s feelings are grounded: anger, sadness, fear, and loneliness. We could easily break down each of these big emotions into resulting feelings, but for the sake of this article, we’ll focus on the main ones.
Suppose you are looking for a more extensive representation of the full array of emotions to help teach your child that talking about feelings doesn’t have to feel overwhelming or frustrating. In that case, you can check out our feelings poster.
The Big Four Feelings and Emotions for Kids
Let’s discuss the big four feelings and emotions for kids and how you can help your child identify them.
Anger
In general, anger is secondary to hurt, fear, frustration, or injustice. Sometimes your child will feel triggered to anger by one of these emotions, and sometimes they will feel all four of these emotions at once.
Anger is an uncomfortable emotion for both adults and children. It’s also an uncomfortable emotion to witness in another person. Anger for children often manifests itself as a temper tantrum, hitting, grabbing another child’s toy, or having an emotional outburst such as crying coupled with screaming.
It’s important to understand that anger triggers your child’s fight or flight response. Jaclyn Shlisky, PsyD, writes, “Anger may seem irrational, but for a child that hasn’t yet learned how to regulate emotions, it’s an immediate natural reaction to some sort of wrongdoing your child feels” (Parent.com). To help your child recognize and self-regulate when talking about the feelings and emotions that are stirred up by anger, you can do the following:
Identify and explain the feeling using age-appropriate language and materials, such as songs, movies, pictures, or facial expressions.
Teach your child different ways they can deal with their feelings.
Praise your child when they talk about their feelings.
Reinforce your child’s attempts to discuss their feelings by incorporating feelings into game time, car rides, when you’re sharing a meal, etc.
Using anger as an example, you can help your child identify and explain the emotion. For instance, if your child doesn’t want to follow their bedtime routine one night and begins to have a temper tantrum, you might say, “It seems like you’re feeling angry about having to brush your teeth tonight. You are crying, and your face looks like this. What can you do? I think you can ask for help or take some deep breaths and try again.”
Acknowledging your child’s emotions not only helps them identify their feelings using self-awareness skills, but also helps them understand how they can deal with them. The next step is to praise your child when they acknowledge the emotions they’re experiencing. Additionally, praise them when they decide how to handle that emotion. While at the beginning, you might provide examples of solutions for them, they will eventually learn to come up with solutions on their own.
Later, when their emotions have settled–this could be an hour later or even a couple of days later–you can reinforce your child’s attempts to discuss their feelings. You can also discuss the choices they made to process the emotions. For example, “Last night, you seemed angry about brushing your teeth. I was so proud of you when you figured out you were feeling anger and then took some nice, deep breaths before finishing brushing. You handled your anger so well!” This kind of reinforcement lets kids know what they did well, and it can help build their confidence during future moments with difficult emotions.
Sadness
When you’re teaching your child to identify and express emotions, sadness is one of the first you will want to explore. We all experience sadness at one point or another, and children tend to present sadness in similar ways to adults.
The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning at Vanderbilt University suggests playing the game Make a Face to begin conversations about emotions with your child or student.
This is a great way to open a conversation with a child who feels sad. The game begins when you say, “I am going to make a face; guess what I am feeling by looking at my face.” This game helps the child assign a name to the feeling and then allows the adult to reinforce their connection in the moment. Once the emotion is established, you can ask the child what has caused their sadness and then follow the steps above (identify and explain, teach them ways to deal with their emotions, praise the child, and reinforce their attempts).
When children deal with difficult emotions, it’s essential to let them know that while their feelings belong to them, they are common among children and adults alike. They are not alone.
Fear
In most educational materials on feelings and emotions for kids, fear is at the top of the list. The reason for this is obvious–just think back to when you were a child. Perhaps you had a fear of the dark, or big animals, or loud noises. Much of this fear is rooted in feelings of uncertainty and the vastness of “the unknown.” Often, children express fear in uncertain ways and this can lead to anxiety later in life.
If your child or student is having a hard time identifying and expressing fear, here are some tools you can give them to help them express it more productively:
Encourage them to ask for help.
Invite them to say the emotion instead of showing it. (For example, “I am feeling scared,” instead of crying, hiding, or throwing a tantrum.)
Relax and try again. (For example, if a child fears reading aloud in class, invite them to take some deep breaths and try again.)
Tell a grown-up.
Teaching your child to identify and express emotions allows them to connect with you and with others in a way that keeps them safe and gives them a greater sense of confidence when they are not with you. It also builds camaraderie and community because it teaches them that we are all in this together.
Loneliness
The final emotion we’ll discuss here is loneliness.
Research shows that children form attachments to other people right from the start. Children who have a secure attachment with at least one adult experience benefits and learn that connection to others is a positive thing. Conversely, when children feel disconnected from others, they can experience loneliness.
Unfortunately, loneliness in kids has skyrocketed as a result of the pandemic. As you might imagine, kids attending classes online or being taken out of their normal activities has resulted in an epidemic of loneliness.
Loneliness is a complex emotion but helping your child identify it in themselves and then process it, benefits them greatly. Bethany Vibert, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, suggests some helpful strategies to talking about the feeling of loneliness with your child. Dr. Vibert writes:
Ask open-ended questions. For example, if your child says they miss spending time with someone they used to see a lot, you can ask questions about that. “What did you really like doing with her? What do you miss the most about seeing her?”
Make observations. Sometimes comments are a good alternative to questions. So, if you notice that your child isn’t spending time with people as much as they used to, you might point that out. Then leave space for them to talk.
Validate their experiences. Showing genuine interest goes a long way. Do your best to listen without judgment (or visible panic) to whatever they have to say. Try also to avoid overreacting with too much sympathy or emotion, since that might make them feel even worse. You can show that you’re listening by reflecting back on what they’re saying (“It sounds like you’re having a hard time”), or saying supportive things like “That sounds tough. Would you tell me more about that?”
Talking about feelings and emotions with your children or students teaches them that their experiences are valid, they can manage their feelings, and that you care about them.
