Growth Mindset for Kids

Growth Mindset for Kids

Do you believe your intelligence and talents are set in stone?

Or, do you believe you can improve them with hard work, commitment, and good strategies? 

If you believe you can enhance your intelligence and abilities, you have a growth mindset. Conversely, if you think your potential is finite instead of fluid, you have a fixed mindset. 

Research has shown that children and adults can develop and improve their intelligence. The most critical factor is believing that intelligence results from hard work and study (Very Well Mind). Those who think this, enjoy learning because they know they can succeed with effort. This knowledge creates a positive cycle of perseverance and belief in oneself. 

A growth mindset for kids is essential in helping them become resilient and lifelong learners. It also has other benefits, including improving overall health and development (Harvard School of Education). 

This article will list and explain the qualities of a growth mindset for kids. Next, we will compare that to a fixed mindset. Then, we will share five ways to help children develop a growth mindset at home and school. 

Growth Mindset for Kids

It is critical to help instill a growth mindset in kids. The work begins at home, where children typically spend most of their time. If their home is a supportive, warm, and responsive place, children can focus on their intellectual development (Forbes). Therefore, having a stable, happy environment accelerates children’s learning ability. 

Children of all ages can develop a growth mindset. Here are some of the qualities we see in kids who have a growth mindset:

  • They have a passion for learning
  • High self-esteem
  • They tend to be open-minded
  • View failure as an opportunity for growth
  • Enjoy increased self-awareness
  • Believe effort leads to mastery
  • They can self-regulate  
  • Consider failures to be temporary setbacks
  • They have empathy for themselves and others
  • Willingly embrace change
  • They are emotionally resilient
  • View feedback as an opportunity to learn (Mindset Health).  

These qualities help children succeed in academics and other activities, even when faced with setbacks. 

How a Growth Mindset Increases Intelligence 

Happy, studious students Growth mindset for kids

A growth mindset can increase intelligence in a few different ways. A research study by Carol Dweck from Stanford included studying thousands of children for 30 years. Dr. Dweck separated them into two categories: those with a growth mindset and those with a fixed mindset. She discovered after years of research that our brains are malleable. 

Brain plasticity can improve and form new connections with practice while strengthening existing ones. This process of practice and growth rewires the brain to make people smarter; when students believe they can improve their intelligence, they put more effort into their learning. More significant effort leads to higher levels of achievement and success. 

Additionally, we can improve the speed of the transmission of information by having good habits. Some helpful practices include using good strategies, asking questions, healthy eating, and good sleep schedules (Mindset Works). Consequently, we have more control over our abilities than we may have initially believed. 

What is a Fixed Mindset? 

A fixed mindset believes that children are born smart or talented, and no amount of effort will change that. This belief is incredibly limiting. As a result, children with a fixed mindset did not have the same results as those with a growth mindset.

A fixed mindset negatively impacts children’s resilience, academics, relationships, and other areas. It makes them less resilient because they believe they can’t improve. These children may develop negative thinking patterns and have a deep fear of failure or making mistakes. They typically avoid challenges, give up quickly, and feel threatened by other people’s success. 

How to Teach Students to Develop a Growth Mindset

Students working

Teaching a growth mindset for students is essential for their success. Here are five ways to teach a growth mindset for children at home or in the classroom. 

 

  1. Have established routines.

Routines are important because they give children stability and structure. This predictable family and classroom climate supports child development and academic success (Forbes).  

 

2. Give specific feedback. 

 

Researchers discovered that the type of feedback children receive matters. When encouraging a growth mindset, praise children for their effort and hard work. Resist the temptation to praise children by telling them that they are “smart,” as doing so encourages kids to believe in a fixed mindset, decreasing motivation and achievement. (Mindset Works). You can praise children for their effort and work ethic instead! 

 

  3. Erase the word “can’t” from your classroom.

 

Take away the word “can’t” and replace it with the phrase: “yet” (6seconds). The word can’t is dangerous because it discourages children from trying. Instead of allowing your students to say, “I can’t read,” encourage them to say, “I can’t read yet.” This change encourages kids to believe they WILL learn to read with enough time and effort. 

 

  4. Model a growth mindset for your students. 

 

It’s important to talk aloud while you’re going through challenges so your students can hear how you handle them. For example, you can say, “I’m struggling to finish this task, but I’ll complete it.” Such sentiments exemplify a growth mindset. 

 

Other phrases you can avoid include, “I can’t do this,” or “it’s too hard.” Continue to show a growth mindset, and eventually, your students will emulate.

 

     5. Teach children about the brain. 

 

Teach your students about the parts of the brain responsible for learning. Understanding the mechanics of the mind helps children know that they can improve their brains with practice and dedication. Also, teach that it is possible to become smarter with effort. 

 

You can use the following lessons as a guide:

 

Two lesson plans for elementary: #1 and #2

Lesson plan for middle school #1 and #2

Lesson plan for high school

 

Final Words

 

Children can improve their intelligence with dedication and effort. A growth mindset allows children to reach their full potential and their goals. The most successful people are lifelong learners, resilient, and view failure as room for growth. Teaching this skill to children empowers them with the tools they need to have a bright future. 

 

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs such as positive parenting programs, SEL programs for elementary schools, a peacemakers program, online courses, corporate training, and more.

 

You May Also Like:

How To Teach Empathy To Kids and Teenagers

Conflict Resolution Games for Kids

Virtual Social Emotional Learning Activities

Feelings Poster

Stress in Children

Talking About Feelings

 

Sources:

6seconds.org, Focused Kids, Forbes, Growth Mind Institute, Harvard, Harvard School of Education, Mawi Learning, Mindset Health, Mindset Works, Very Well Mind

Self Awareness Skills

Self Awareness Skills

Whether you’re a student, teacher, or in another profession, self-awareness is a skill we must all cultivate. For children, specifically, it can be used as a management tool to help them evaluate their own mental and emotional well-being.

When we teach children how their thoughts, values, and emotions interact with and affect their behaviors, they’re equipped with the ability to assess their strengths and weaknesses accurately (Positive Action). When children begin to understand themselves, their confidence, drive, and desire to succeed increase. 

Currently, the World Health Organization lists self-awareness as one of the top 10 life skills that promote well-being across cultures (WHO). Other critical skills include:

  • Empathy
  • Critical thinking
  • Creative thinking
  • Responsible decision making
  • Problem-solving
  • Effective communication
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Coping with stress
  • Coping with emotions  (Positive Action)

This article will explain self-awareness and the two main types of self-awareness skills that are most helpful for children. In addition, we include five ways to teach self-awareness skills to kids.

What is Self-Awareness

kids thinking - self awareness skills

Self-awareness is characterized by the ability to look inward and clarify our values, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses. It allows us to evaluate whether our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors align with our values. When they don’t, we can improve our behavior through self-correction. When they do, we experience the pleasure of cognitive consonance, which reinforces the agreement between our actions and values.  

Additionally, when we are self-aware, we can understand our effect on others. If we are negatively impacting those around us, we can adjust our behaviors. Conversely, we can continue behaviors that serve others well and benefit our relationships. 

Self-awareness also leads to accurately determining how others perceive us. This crucial understanding helps children develop self-esteem. 

Each facet of self-awareness helps children develop appropriately throughout their lives. 

Types of Self-Awareness Skills

There are two different types of self-awareness: public and private. 

Private self-awareness relates to how we reflect on ourselves internally. 

People who have a strong sense of private self-awareness are conscious of their thoughts and feelings. When they feel some ambiguity concerning their beliefs, they can use mindfulness skills to cultivate greater self-awareness. 

Private self-awareness is associated with higher job and relationship satisfaction and relief from anxiety, stress, and depression (HBR). Children who experience private self-awareness can maintain a state of peace within themselves by being present and noticing thoughts and feelings objectively. One example of this self-awareness includes being aware that you tense up during phone calls and then choosing cognitive behavioral actions to release that tension (BetterUp). 

The second type of self-awareness is public self-awareness.

Public self-awareness relates to our ability to notice how we appear to others. By developing a strong sense of interpersonal consciousness, we can help strengthen our work relationships and job prospects. We can do this by adjusting our behaviors and appearance to adhere to social norms and behave in socially expected ways (BetterUp)

There is, of course, a balance between being aware of what others think and worrying too much about others’ perceptions. The key to a healthy amount of self-awareness lies in our ability to recognize our strengths and challenges accurately. 

Benefits of Self-Awareness Skills

There are many benefits to self-awareness. Some of the most common are listed below: 

  • We become more confident and more creative (Harvard Business Review)
  • We have the strength to make better decisions
  • We build stronger relationships and communicate more effectively
  • Our self-esteem grows as we learn who we are and how others perceive us
  • We are more likely to receive promotions and to hold leadership positions
  • We are less likely to lie, cheat or steal
  • We tend to be more effective leaders with more satisfied employees (HBR)
  • We enjoy an improved sense of control
  • We experience freedom from biases and assumptions (BetterUp)

Self-Awareness Activities for Kids

children working at school

We can help children develop self-awareness. Here are some easy activities you can implement into your students’ or children’s daily routines to enhance their self-awareness: 

 

  1. Have students keep a thought diary. They can record their feelings, thoughts, and emotions, as well as their emotional reactions to unexpected or significant events. (Positive Psychology)
  2. Write a regret letter. Your student can write to her former self about any regrets she may be harboring, and forgive herself for making mistakes. This develops self-awareness and self-love. 
  3. Have students write a list of things they like about themselves. For example, “I am artistic” is perfect for younger students. Push harder for older students. Encourage them to list at least five things. 
  4. Have students create a goal they would like to reach within one year. Then, ask students to write down the steps they need to attain the goal. Afterward, encourage students to draw a picture of themselves succeeding. Revisit this project and celebrate the students who tried or succeeded at the end of the year. 
  5. Break students into small groups (no bigger than three). Have each student identify their strengths. Students can practice their listening skills and build confidence and cohesion within the group.  

There are a plethora of ways to teach self-awareness skills. Whether you are teaching or parenting younger children or older students, Soul Shoppe also offers several courses and resources on this topic. 

 

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for schools, homes, and businesses.  Contact us here.

 

You May Also Like:

How To Teach Empathy To Kids and Teenagers

Conflict Resolution Games for Kids

Peacemaker Program

Virtual Social Learning Activities

Growth Mindset for Kids

Reading Social Cues

 

Sources:

BetterUp, Harvard Business Review, Positive Action, Positive Psychology, WHO

Acceptance Vs. Tolerance

Acceptance Vs. Tolerance

The phrases “tolerance” and “acceptance” are often used to talk about diversity. Sometimes, they are seen as words in posters around classrooms. Other times, their words are echoed in assembly rooms. However, teaching diversity requires meaningful, planned activities and discussions. There also needs to be a clear distinction between both words. Sometimes they are used interchangeably to mean the same thing. However, these words have their own unique meaning. 

Diversity is defined as differences in race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, political beliefs, physical abilities, and more (CUNY). There is a philosophical divide on whether to tolerate or accept diversity.

In this article, we explore the difference between acceptance vs tolerance. Next, we include 10 fun ways to teach diversity concepts.

Acceptance vs Tolerance

There are significant differences between acceptance and tolerance. Let’s explore:

Tolerance

Tolerance is the “level of ability that someone has to recognize and respect other values and differences” (Psychology Today). This includes restraining oneself from negative expressions or opinions about people who are different. However, the word “tolerate” means to put up with something that is possibly painful, harmful, or is simply not wanted (Psychology Today). Consequently, it means something that must be endured. When we consider the root of this definition, we must consider the underlying implications.

Acceptance

Acceptance of diversity means to respect other people’s differences and backgrounds. Similarly, it means recognizing individual differences (CUNY). These differences can include race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and much more. While tolerance simply endures people that are different, acceptance moves past that and promotes an environment of equity, mutual respect, and appreciation. Acceptance also encourages others to see people as individuals versus groups of people. 

Which one is better?

diversity, children - acceptance vs tolerance

When it comes to tolerance vs acceptance, acceptance is the better concept to understand and apply. Anyone can tolerate another person or group of people. It’s acceptance that lets us see diversity as an asset, not a threat. When we strive for acceptance, we also strive for equality and mutual respect.

Best Ways to Teach Diversity

Some of the best ways to teach diversity are through activities. Here are 10 activities, grouped by age, that students can enjoy.

Elementary

  1. Listen to songs in different languages. Some of them can include nursery rhymes or fun learning songs. If the song is different from one they know, include lyrics so they can follow along. You can even teach your students a new song to sing to their families! 
  2. Have students put together a world map puzzle in groups or as a whole-group activity. Discuss how big the world is, landmarks, and geography. (Naturespath). 
  3. Make multicultural crafts like those listed here.
  4. Use online courses to supplement learning. Soul Shoppe’s Respect Differences course teaches elementary students how to appreciate the things that make us different and unique.

Middle School

  1. Go out and experience a local ethnic restaurant.
  2. Have students write to a pen pal abroad (penpalworld.com).
  3. Listen to multicultural music as students journal, or have a mini dance party. (Naturespath). 
  4. Go on a field trip to a local museum to learn about different cultures.

High School

multicultural craft
  1. Take students to a local cultural festival. 
  2. Have students read books on other cultures.
  3. Have students cook foods from their own culture or different cultures and share dishes. (Be sure to offer resources for those who need them.)

There are many activities for kids that embrace diversity. Click for more activities for younger students and students of all ages

Conclusion

It’s important to teach students to do more than tolerate diversity. Being accepting and striving to understand other cultures is an important part of childhood emotional development. Furthermore, it helps create a culture of inclusion where students of different backgrounds can reach their full potential. It is important for educators and caregivers to help children learn these skills. 

Soul Shoppe has social emotional learning programs dedicated to the mission of creating safe learning environments. Soul Shoppe helps schools, parents, and businesses teach empathy, emotional literacy, conflict resolution, and more. 

You May Also Like:

Virtual Social Emotional Learning Activities

Teaching Children About Diversity

Peacemaker Program

How To Teach Empathy To Kids

Peace Path

Self Awareness Skills

Goal Setting for Students

Sources: 

CUNY, Nature’s Path, Penn State, Psychology Today

Self-Care Activities for Students

Self-Care Activities for Students

We know that social distancing, schedule changes, quarantine, and all-around uncertainties can take their toll on everyone, especially our little ones. It may feel like things are spiraling out of hand. In these times, it’s important to take care of yourself and to teach kids how to establish self-care activities of their own. 

Take your arms and reach them out wide. Now wrap them around your chest and give yourself a big hug. You have just completed a simple self-care activity. Doesn’t that feel good?

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health, well-being, and happiness, particularly during periods of stress. Psychology Today adds that self-care is “the joy of recharging our tanks”. For adults, it can include going to the gym, a concert, or experiencing a quiet night at home. For children and young students there are easy activities that can help with their overall enjoyment of life and help them shrug off stress.

Self-Care Activities for Students

happy student - self-care activities for students

Go Outside

The weather can dictate how much we want to be outside, but studies show that being outside, even for a little bit, has massive benefits. If it’s snowing, have your little ones build a snowman.  If it’s raining, build a paper boat and float it down the street. Or, if the sun is shining and the weather is nice, go for a walk and enjoy the world without electronics. Being outside can lower the stress hormone cortisol, raise endorphins, decrease depression and anxiety, and strengthen the immune system. Your self-care activity for students doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate when it’s right outside your door.

Let It Rain

Sometimes the stress builds up inside and makes students (and adults) feel like they might burst. Instead of trying to hold it all in, tell your kids that it’s okay to let it out. A good cry just might be the relief that is needed. Talk with your children about their emotions and why they are feeling this way. After the crying has finished, check on them again. Crying is shown to improve spirits and mood, stimulate the production of endorphins, and restore emotional balance. 

Laughter Is the Best Medicine

Doctor Patch Adams said it best: Laughter enhances the blood flow to the body’s extremities and improves cardiovascular function. Laughter releases endorphins and other natural mood elevating and pain-killing chemicals, improves the transfer of oxygen and nutrients to internal organs. Laughter boosts the immune system and helps the body fight off disease, cancer cells as well as viral, bacterial and other infections. Being happy is the best cure of all diseases

While telling someone who is stressed or overwhelmed to just “be happy” isn’t going to work (and possibly met with a severe glare), the facts are that laughter does help with elevating someone’s mood and reduces stress. Tell a joke to get that grin. Watch a silly show or movie to turn that frown upside down. A good chuckle, belly laugh, hy-yuck yuck, hee hee, ha ha will help alleviate any dampened mood. As far as self-care activities for students go, this one is easy and doesn’t cost a dime…only a smile.

Dance Your Cares Away

dancing students

Sometimes words alone cannot express what’s going on inside. Our minds and mouths don’t seem to work as one and we are left without the ability to convey what is really going on. So what can children and adults do when words fail us? We can dance. Not a dancer? Dance anyway! No choreography? Dance anyway! Never took lessons? DANCE ANYWAY! Dancing isn’t just for the ballroom, the stage, the movies, or the superstars. Dance can help everyone to let loose and free themselves of their stress and worries.

Not only does dancing lower stress, but it’s also a workout that burns calories and improves cardiovascular health (that’s what’s called a two-fer). If you can’t seem to get your child to a dance studio, there are plenty of dancing games at home that the whole family can use. Games, such as Just Dance, have a wide variety of songs for all ages, so you can get that self-care for your students without them even knowing it. If a gaming system is out of the question, just pick any song and get groovin’! After the moves have been busted and the dance floor cleared, you will see a much-improved attitude and overall feeling in the room.  

Eat Healthy Foods

Your students might be tired of hearing “eat your vegetables” or listening to talking points on the five food groups, but the truth is that healthy eating does fall in the realm of self-care. We aren’t talking about going on a diet, but rather taking into consideration what’s being put into our bodies. If a student is observed with stress or fatigue, a proper meal may be the key to lifting their spirits and energy levels. 

Stress can affect how your body processes foods and absorbs water. This can lead to feelings of fatigue or lagging. Adopting a proper meal plan can greatly improve spirit and health. A variety of fruits and vegetables along with proper hydration is a self-care activity for students that everyone can get behind.

Find Your Path

While there are many options of self-care activities for students, it’s ultimately up to you and your students to determine the best course of action that will yield the best outcome. No one thing works for everyone, and every self-care activity will not work for each and every instance. Like your diet, go through a variety of things to find out what benefits you and your kids the most. What works one day might not work the next, so switch it up and keep things interesting. Stress rears its head in very unusual and unpredictable ways, so be ready to challenge and defeat it, no matter where it turns up.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for schools. homes, and businesses.

You May Also Like:

How To Make A Worry Stone

Peace Path

Virtual Social Emotional Learning Activities

Empathy For Elementary Students

Peacemaker Program

Pandemic Effects on Children

Self-Esteem for Kids

Self-Esteem for Kids

Self-Esteem for Kids

Merriam-Webster defines self-esteem as a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities, or a confidence and satisfaction in oneself. Self-esteem helps children face challenges, try new things, learn well, and develop well in general (Raising Children).

A child with healthy self-esteem is more likely to be successful academically, socially, emotionally, and even physically. Conversely, low self-esteem can contribute to mental illness such as anxiety and depression, and is often a cause of poor physical health. Low self-esteem negatively affects all types of relationships: friendships, work relationships, romantic relationships, to name a few. It also impacts work and job performance, and creates a predisposition toward abusing alcohol and drugs (CMHC).

Read on to learn what self-esteem is, why it is important, and some of its characteristics. Then we’ll share actionable ways that caregivers and teachers can promote healthy self-esteem for kids.

What Self-Esteem Means for Kids

Self-esteem has been called “the mainspring that slates every child for success or failure as a human being” (CHHS). That said, nurturing self-esteem in a child is one of a caregiver’s most important responsibilities. 

Children need to feel proud of themselves for what they can do, see the good in themselves, and accurately assess their own strengths and weaknesses. This will help them believe in themselves and be resilient when facing adversity (Kids Health). 

Why Self-Esteem Is Important

Mental Health

High five - self-esteem for kids

Research by the American Psychological Association has shown that having good self-esteem is essential for positive mental health and well-being. It also helps children develop empathy and perspective, as well as coping skills and perseverance (Very Well Mind). And, as stated above, having poor self-esteem contributes to a variety of mental health issues (Positive Psychology). 

Academic and Life Success

Self-esteem often means that kids hold high standards for themselves. This manifests itself in several different ways. First, these high standards can help kids set goals—in school, and beyond. As a result, they improve their ability to cope with the setbacks and difficulties in reaching their goals. They learn to persistently try until they achieve success, ultimately have more opportunities and broader life experience.

Relationships

Good self-esteem is an essential component of high-quality relationships. When a child sees their own value, it allows them to better see the value in others. This leads to better interactions, which in turn leads to better self-esteem. The result is a cycle of growth that can last a lifetime.

Physical Health

Children who like themselves treat their bodies well. They typically take care of their physical health and are healthier in general. They are more likely to exercise regularly and subsequently recover faster from illnesses (Positive Psychology).

Characteristics of Self-Esteem 

Children playing

Kids with self-esteem often exhibit the following characteristics:

  • Trying new things, including those that they might not be good at
  • Facing challenges instead of avoiding them
  • Persevering in spite of difficulties
  • Coping with stress, anxiety, and pressure, whether at home or school (Very Well Mind)
  • Believing in themselves (Raising Children)
  • Accepting themselves for who they are

Ways to Build Self-Esteem for Kids

It is possible to build self-esteem at any age. While earlier is better, supportive parenting can change the trajectory of a child’s life no matter where they are in their development. 

Warm and loving parental relationships are the basis of self-esteem. They make children feel worthy and valued. Here are some specific suggestions for strengthening your relationship with your child and building their self-esteem. 

1. Set boundaries and limits.

Set boundaries and limits to help your child feel secure and grow emotionally (Sanford Health).

2. Show interest in what your child values.

If they love music, listen to or play music with them. If they love books, take them to the library. Engaging with your kids shows them they are worth your time and attention (Raising Kids).

3. Have them do chores or help around the house.

This can include helping prepare meals, making their beds, feeding pets, or washing dishes. Contributing to the household makes kids feel accomplished and shows that you trust them to help (Kids Health). 

4. Treat each child as a unique individual.

Remember, one size never fits all…so parent each child in a way that works for both of you. 

5. Give balanced feedback.

This means praising your child for trying their best or doing something new, not for being the best. This teaches children to value their own efforts, and to be a good teammate (Raising Children).

6. Listen to and acknowledge your child’s thoughts and feelings.

Teach them how to deal with uncomfortable feelings and, ultimately, to self-regulate

7. Give your child choices.

Give options and allow your child a feeling of reasonable control over their life (CHHS). 

Family

8. Make family meals together.

This strengthens family ties and allows everyone to contribute to the meal. Children can set the table, chop vegetables or cut fruit, or wash lettuce for salad. Meals also give everyone a chance to connect as a family (Raising Children).

9. Show love and affection to your children regularly.

Exhibit love and affection including physical affection—hugs, kisses, etc. Do not withhold affection even if they are misbehaving. To be effective, your love must not be conditional. Continue reinforcing that your child is lovable (CHHS). 

10. Encourage them to keep trying even when things are hard.

Praise the effort. Reward perseverance. This builds their resilience.

11. Coach children through difficult social situations.

Children can experience difficult social situations at school or elsewhere. Role-play them, talk through them, etc. This helps prepare children for these situations and build confidence (Raising Children).

12. Keep children connected.

Keep children connected to family friends and extended family as much as possible. This helps develop their sense of belonging and identity. Other options include being part of a religious community, sports club, or another group (Raising Children). 

13. Allow them to make mistakes.

Do not expect children to be perfect. Instead, let their mistakes be learning opportunities (Sanford Health).

 14. Keep realistic expectations of your child.

This helps them meet the expectations or exceed them. Their self-esteem will grow as a result. 

15. Focus on the positives.

Notice what your child is doing right, and praise them for those actions. This reinforces positive behaviors and discourages poor choices (Sanford Health).

 

Conclusion

 

Self-esteem can be nurtured in children during their childhood development. It is essential in helping them feel worthwhile, secure, and develop self-worth. This affects every area of their life. 

 

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for parents, schools and businesses. Soul Shoppe helps children with empathy, emotional literacy, conflict resolution and more. 

 

You May Also Like:

 

Teaching Empathy To Kids and Teenagers

Peacemaker Program

Virtual Social Skills Activities

Self-Care Activities for Students

Growth Mindset for Kids

 

Sources:

CHHS, CMHC, Kids Health, Positive Psychology, Raising Children, Sanford Health, Very Well Mind

Positive Parenting Tips

Positive Parenting Tips

Parenting is one of the most rewarding jobs in life. However, it can also be one of the most challenging. Because children do not come with instructions, it is up to parents to learn the parenting style that works best for them. 

There are several parenting methods that help children develop into successful, happy adults. However, others can leave children feeling anxious with low self-esteem. That’s why we suggest the positive parenting method. It helps children become capable and resilient while bonding them to their caregiver. Although some people consider this a “fluffy” way to parent—it is not. Rather, it is effective in holding children accountable for their actions in age-appropriate ways. This system uses clear expectations and rewards to empower children to make responsible decisions. 

In this article, we will detail what positive parenting is and how it benefits children. We’ll also provide positive parenting tips.

What is Positive Parenting

The movement for positive parenting began in the 1900s. Previously, it was believed that children should be “seen but not heard.” However, psychotherapist Alfred Adler declared that children should be treated with dignity and respect. He also declared that children should not be spoiled. Otherwise, they would be riddled with self-entitlement and would be devoid of empathy. Furthermore, Adler asserted that children need connections to adults and an emotionally safe environment to thrive. These ideas helped form the positive parenting method. 

This style of parenting focuses on several ideas. Some of the most important include:

  • Parenting children in age-appropriate ways
  • Being sensitive to children’s needs, temperament, and developmental stage (Parenting for Brain)
  • Nurturing children emotionally
  • Having clear boundaries and limits
  • Building connections with children
  • Understanding that misbehaviors are underlying symptoms of problems. They are simply a cry for help. Once underlying symptoms are identified and dealt with, problem behaviors will cease (Positive Parenting Solutions)
  • The idea that a misbehaving child is not bad, mean, uncontrollable, or defiant
  • Having empathy for children and showing consistent love and warmth
  • Focusing on the children’s best interests
  • Rewarding good behavior and accomplishments
  • Having clear communication between parents and children (Positive Psychology)
  • Building children’s self-esteem and independence

Benefits of Positive Parenting

Happy kid

Research strongly supports positive parenting. In a 7 year-long study in 1997, researchers studied this method. Researchers examined supportive parenting (positive parenting) and contrasted it with less supportive parenting styles. The supportive style was defined as parent and child warmth, proactive teaching, positive involvement, and inductive discipline. Less supportive styles were harsher and had colder interactions between parent and child. 

The study showed that the positive parenting style increased school performance and led to fewer behavioral problems. Furthermore, this type of parenting actually mitigated the impact of trauma and child stress (Positive Parenting). Supportive parenting was also able to overcome adversities such as single parenting, divorce, poverty, and more. 

Similarly, a study on emotional coaching by Bath Spa University discovered positive outcomes for families trained by emotional coaches. Parents reported an average of 79% improvement in children’s behaviors. (Positive Parenting). 

Additional research has shown that positive parenting improves social-emotional development. In fact, children increase their emotional, physical, and behavioral health. At the same time, problem behaviors, such as aggression and hyperactivity, are reduced. These benefits are shown as early as 1.5-3 years of age. Benefits last a lifetime as children have a better chance of academic success. (NCT). 

The research overwhelmingly shows that positive parenting works.

Positive Parenting Tips

Mother and son - positive parenting tips

Here are some positive parenting tips that will enhance your relationship with your child and encourage their success.

  1. Teach children to self-regulate when upset. For example, if they receive a bad grade on a test, empathize with them. Say things like, “I can imagine that must be very frustrating. You must feel upset.” Hugs are appropriate if the child wants one. Respect their bodily autonomy if they do not. Also, do not try to fix the situation for them by calling their teacher. Instead, encourage your child to brainstorm ways to help themselves. 
  2. Model behavior that you wish to see. When frustrated, count to 10 out loud, or take a 5-minute break. If children disrupt your self-regulation time, respond calmly. Tell them, “Mommy is taking a 5-minute break to calm down. I will help you when I am done.” (Colorado Parent)
  3. Catch children behaving well. Too often we focus on what our children are doing wrong. Instead, watch for opportunities when children are doing what they are supposed to do. Then reward them with verbal praise, a sticker on a reward chart, or other methods. For example, if a child is playing nicely with their sibling, be sure to use specific praise. Say, “I love the way you are sharing when playing together. That’s exactly what I like to see!” (NCT)
  4. Don’t just say “no” to their requests. If they ask to go to the park but it’s impossible to go, then use other words. For example, say “I’d love to take you now but I have to work. I can take you tomorrow instead.” 
  5. Use distraction tactics. Distraction tactics are an excellent behavior management tool in positive parenting. They help prevent meltdowns or negative behaviors. For example, if a child is getting ready to knock over another child’s toy building, use this technique. Give the child alternative things to do, such as a different activity. Also, it could be a signal that they have energy to burn. Taking them to the park is a better option than allowing the events to unfold and then punishing them later.  (NCT)
  6. Take care of yourself as a parent. Parenting is a difficult job, and it’s important for caregivers to use self-care methods. This helps ensure parents are the best version of themselves for their children. A hot bath, spending time in nature, taking time out with friends, and other strategies are important for self-care.


The goal of parenting is to offer children ways to develop into healthier, independent, and successful adults. These positive parenting tips are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to positive parenting successfully.

Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for parents, schools, and businesses.

 

You May Also Like:

4 Different Parenting Styles

Teaching Empathy to Kids and Teenagers

Self-Esteem for Kids

Self Regulation Activities

Virtual Social Learning Activities

Empty Balloon

You’re Amazing Poster

 

Sources:

Colorado Parent, NCT, Parenting for Brain, Positive Parenting Solutions, Positive Psychology