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Whether you’re a student, teacher, or in another profession, self-awareness is a skill we must all cultivate. For children, specifically, it can be used as a management tool to help them evaluate their own mental and emotional well-being.
When we teach children how their thoughts, values, and emotions interact with and affect their behaviors, they’re equipped with the ability to assess their strengths and weaknesses accurately (Positive Action). When children begin to understand themselves, their confidence, drive, and desire to succeed increase.
Currently, the World Health Organization lists self-awareness as one of the top 10 life skills that promote well-being across cultures (WHO). Other critical skills include:
This article will explain self-awareness and the two main types of self-awareness skills that are most helpful for children. In addition, we include five ways to teach self-awareness skills to kids.
What is Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is characterized by the ability to look inward and clarify our values, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses. It allows us to evaluate whether our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors align with our values. When they don’t, we can improve our behavior through self-correction. When they do, we experience the pleasure of cognitive consonance, which reinforces the agreement between our actions and values.
Additionally, when we are self-aware, we can understand our effect on others. If we are negatively impacting those around us, we can adjust our behaviors. Conversely, we can continue behaviors that serve others well and benefit our relationships.
Self-awareness also leads to accurately determining how others perceive us. This crucial understanding helps children develop self-esteem.
Each facet of self-awareness helps children develop appropriately throughout their lives.
Types of Self-Awareness Skills
There are two different types of self-awareness: public and private.
Private self-awareness relates to how we reflect on ourselves internally.
People who have a strong sense of private self-awareness are conscious of their thoughts and feelings. When they feel some ambiguity concerning their beliefs, they can use mindfulness skills to cultivate greater self-awareness.
Private self-awareness is associated with higher job and relationship satisfaction and relief from anxiety, stress, and depression (HBR). Children who experience private self-awareness can maintain a state of peace within themselves by being present and noticing thoughts and feelings objectively. One example of this self-awareness includes being aware that you tense up during phone calls and then choosing cognitive behavioral actions to release that tension (BetterUp).
The second type of self-awareness is public self-awareness.
Public self-awareness relates to our ability to notice how we appear to others. By developing a strong sense of interpersonal consciousness, we can help strengthen our work relationships and job prospects. We can do this by adjusting our behaviors and appearance to adhere to social norms and behave in socially expected ways (BetterUp).
There is, of course, a balance between being aware of what others think and worrying too much about others’ perceptions. The key to a healthy amount of self-awareness lies in our ability to recognize our strengths and challenges accurately.
Benefits of Self-Awareness Skills
There are many benefits to self-awareness. Some of the most common are listed below:
We build stronger relationships and communicate more effectively
Our self-esteem grows as we learn who we are and how others perceive us
We are more likely to receive promotions and to hold leadership positions
We are less likely to lie, cheat or steal
We tend to be more effective leaders with more satisfied employees (HBR)
We enjoy an improved sense of control
We experience freedom from biases and assumptions (BetterUp)
Self-Awareness Activities for Kids
We can help children develop self-awareness. Here are some easy activities you can implement into your students’ or children’s daily routines to enhance their self-awareness:
Have students keep a thought diary. They can record their feelings, thoughts, and emotions, as well as their emotional reactions to unexpected or significant events. (Positive Psychology)
Write a regret letter. Your student can write to her former self about any regrets she may be harboring, and forgive herself for making mistakes. This develops self-awareness and self-love.
Have students write a list of things they like about themselves. For example, “I am artistic” is perfect for younger students. Push harder for older students. Encourage them to list at least five things.
Have students create a goal they would like to reach within one year. Then, ask students to write down the steps they need to attain the goal. Afterward, encourage students to draw a picture of themselves succeeding. Revisit this project and celebrate the students who tried or succeeded at the end of the year.
Break students into small groups (no bigger than three). Have each student identify their strengths. Students can practice their listening skills and build confidence and cohesion within the group.
There are a plethora of ways to teach self-awareness skills. Whether you are teaching or parenting younger children or older students, Soul Shoppe also offers several courses and resources on this topic.
The phrases “tolerance” and “acceptance” are often used to talk about diversity. Sometimes, they are seen as words in posters around classrooms. Other times, their words are echoed in assembly rooms. However, teaching diversity requires meaningful, planned activities and discussions. There also needs to be a clear distinction between both words. Sometimes they are used interchangeably to mean the same thing. However, these words have their own unique meaning.
Diversity is defined as differences in race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, political beliefs, physical abilities, and more (CUNY). There is a philosophical divide on whether to tolerate or accept diversity.
In this article, we explore the difference between acceptance vs tolerance. Next, we include 10 fun ways to teach diversity concepts.
Acceptance vs Tolerance
There are significant differences between acceptance and tolerance. Let’s explore:
Tolerance
Tolerance is the “level of ability that someone has to recognize and respect other values and differences” (Psychology Today). This includes restraining oneself from negative expressions or opinions about people who are different. However, the word “tolerate” means to put up with something that is possibly painful, harmful, or is simply not wanted (Psychology Today). Consequently, it means something that must be endured. When we consider the root of this definition, we must consider the underlying implications.
Acceptance
Acceptance of diversity means to respect other people’s differences and backgrounds. Similarly, it means recognizing individual differences (CUNY). These differences can include race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and much more. While tolerance simply endures people that are different, acceptance moves past that and promotes an environment of equity, mutual respect, and appreciation. Acceptance also encourages others to see people as individuals versus groups of people.
Which one is better?
When it comes to tolerance vs acceptance, acceptance is the better concept to understand and apply. Anyone can tolerate another person or group of people. It’s acceptance that lets us see diversity as an asset, not a threat. When we strive for acceptance, we also strive for equality and mutual respect.
Best Ways to Teach Diversity
Some of the best ways to teach diversity are through activities. Here are 10 activities, grouped by age, that students can enjoy.
Elementary
Listen to songs in different languages. Some of them can include nursery rhymes or fun learning songs. If the song is different from one they know, include lyrics so they can follow along. You can even teach your students a new song to sing to their families!
Have students put together a world map puzzle in groups or as a whole-group activity. Discuss how big the world is, landmarks, and geography. (Naturespath).
Use online courses to supplement learning. Soul Shoppe’s Respect Differences course teaches elementary students how to appreciate the things that make us different and unique.
Middle School
Go out and experience a local ethnic restaurant.
Have students write to a pen pal abroad (penpalworld.com).
Listen to multicultural music as students journal, or have a mini dance party. (Naturespath).
Go on a field trip to a local museum to learn about different cultures.
High School
Take students to a local cultural festival.
Have students read books on other cultures.
Have students cook foods from their own culture or different cultures and share dishes. (Be sure to offer resources for those who need them.)
There are many activities for kids that embrace diversity. Click for more activities for younger students and students of all ages.
Conclusion
It’s important to teach students to do more than tolerate diversity. Being accepting and striving to understand other cultures is an important part of childhood emotional development. Furthermore, it helps create a culture of inclusion where students of different backgrounds can reach their full potential. It is important for educators and caregivers to help children learn these skills.
Soul Shoppe has social emotional learning programs dedicated to the mission of creating safe learning environments. Soul Shoppe helps schools, parents, and businesses teach empathy, emotional literacy, conflict resolution, and more.
We know that social distancing, schedule changes, quarantine, and all-around uncertainties can take their toll on everyone, especially our little ones. It may feel like things are spiraling out of hand. In these times, it’s important to take care of yourself and to teach kids how to establish self-care activities of their own.
Take your arms and reach them out wide. Now wrap them around your chest and give yourself a big hug. You have just completed a simple self-care activity. Doesn’t that feel good?
What is Self-Care?
Self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health, well-being, and happiness, particularly during periods of stress. Psychology Today adds that self-care is “the joy of recharging our tanks”. For adults, it can include going to the gym, a concert, or experiencing a quiet night at home. For children and young students there are easy activities that can help with their overall enjoyment of life and help them shrug off stress.
Self-Care Activities for Students
Go Outside
The weather can dictate how much we want to be outside, but studies show that being outside, even for a little bit, has massive benefits. If it’s snowing, have your little ones build a snowman. If it’s raining, build a paper boat and float it down the street. Or, if the sun is shining and the weather is nice, go for a walk and enjoy the world without electronics. Being outside can lower the stress hormone cortisol, raise endorphins, decrease depression and anxiety, and strengthen the immune system. Your self-care activity for students doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate when it’s right outside your door.
Let It Rain
Sometimes the stress builds up inside and makes students (and adults) feel like they might burst. Instead of trying to hold it all in, tell your kids that it’s okay to let it out. A good cry just might be the relief that is needed. Talk with your children about their emotions and why they are feeling this way. After the crying has finished, check on them again. Crying is shown to improve spirits and mood, stimulate the production of endorphins, and restore emotional balance.
Laughter Is the Best Medicine
Doctor Patch Adams said it best: Laughter enhances the blood flow to the body’s extremities and improves cardiovascular function. Laughter releases endorphins and other natural mood elevating and pain-killing chemicals, improves the transfer of oxygen and nutrients to internal organs. Laughter boosts the immune system and helps the body fight off disease, cancer cells as well as viral, bacterial and other infections. Being happy is the best cure of all diseases.
While telling someone who is stressed or overwhelmed to just “be happy” isn’t going to work (and possibly met with a severe glare), the facts are that laughter does help with elevating someone’s mood and reduces stress. Tell a joke to get that grin. Watch a silly show or movie to turn that frown upside down. A good chuckle, belly laugh, hy-yuck yuck, hee hee, ha ha will help alleviate any dampened mood. As far as self-care activities for students go, this one is easy and doesn’t cost a dime…only a smile.
Dance Your Cares Away
Sometimes words alone cannot express what’s going on inside. Our minds and mouths don’t seem to work as one and we are left without the ability to convey what is really going on. So what can children and adults do when words fail us? We can dance. Not a dancer? Dance anyway! No choreography? Dance anyway! Never took lessons? DANCE ANYWAY! Dancing isn’t just for the ballroom, the stage, the movies, or the superstars. Dance can help everyone to let loose and free themselves of their stress and worries.
Not only does dancing lower stress, but it’s also a workout that burns calories and improves cardiovascular health (that’s what’s called a two-fer). If you can’t seem to get your child to a dance studio, there are plenty of dancing games at home that the whole family can use. Games, such as Just Dance, have a wide variety of songs for all ages, so you can get that self-care for your students without them even knowing it. If a gaming system is out of the question, just pick any song and get groovin’! After the moves have been busted and the dance floor cleared, you will see a much-improved attitude and overall feeling in the room.
Eat Healthy Foods
Your students might be tired of hearing “eat your vegetables” or listening to talking points on the five food groups, but the truth is that healthy eating does fall in the realm of self-care. We aren’t talking about going on a diet, but rather taking into consideration what’s being put into our bodies. If a student is observed with stress or fatigue, a proper meal may be the key to lifting their spirits and energy levels.
Stress can affect how your body processes foods and absorbs water. This can lead to feelings of fatigue or lagging. Adopting a proper meal plan can greatly improve spirit and health. A variety of fruits and vegetables along with proper hydration is a self-care activity for students that everyone can get behind.
Find Your Path
While there are many options of self-care activities for students, it’s ultimately up to you and your students to determine the best course of action that will yield the best outcome. No one thing works for everyone, and every self-care activity will not work for each and every instance. Like your diet, go through a variety of things to find out what benefits you and your kids the most. What works one day might not work the next, so switch it up and keep things interesting. Stress rears its head in very unusual and unpredictable ways, so be ready to challenge and defeat it, no matter where it turns up.
Merriam-Webster defines self-esteem as a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities, or a confidence and satisfaction in oneself. Self-esteem helps children face challenges, try new things, learn well, and develop well in general (Raising Children).
A child with healthy self-esteem is more likely to be successful academically, socially, emotionally, and even physically. Conversely, low self-esteem can contribute to mental illness such as anxiety and depression, and is often a cause of poor physical health. Low self-esteem negatively affects all types of relationships: friendships, work relationships, romantic relationships, to name a few. It also impacts work and job performance, and creates a predisposition toward abusing alcohol and drugs (CMHC).
Read on to learn what self-esteem is, why it is important, and some of its characteristics. Then we’ll share actionable ways that caregivers and teachers can promote healthy self-esteem for kids.
What Self-Esteem Means for Kids
Self-esteem has been called “the mainspring that slates every child for success or failure as a human being” (CHHS). That said, nurturing self-esteem in a child is one of a caregiver’s most important responsibilities.
Children need to feel proud of themselves for what they can do, see the good in themselves, and accurately assess their own strengths and weaknesses. This will help them believe in themselves and be resilient when facing adversity (Kids Health).
Why Self-Esteem Is Important
Mental Health
Research by the American Psychological Association has shown that having good self-esteem is essential for positive mental health and well-being. It also helps children develop empathy and perspective, as well as coping skills and perseverance (Very Well Mind). And, as stated above, having poor self-esteem contributes to a variety of mental health issues (Positive Psychology).
Academic and Life Success
Self-esteem often means that kids hold high standards for themselves. This manifests itself in several different ways. First, these high standards can help kids set goals—in school, and beyond. As a result, they improve their ability to cope with the setbacks and difficulties in reaching their goals. They learn to persistently try until they achieve success, ultimately have more opportunities and broader life experience.
Relationships
Good self-esteem is an essential component of high-quality relationships. When a child sees their own value, it allows them to better see the value in others. This leads to better interactions, which in turn leads to better self-esteem. The result is a cycle of growth that can last a lifetime.
Physical Health
Children who like themselves treat their bodies well. They typically take care of their physical health and are healthier in general. They are more likely to exercise regularly and subsequently recover faster from illnesses (Positive Psychology).
Characteristics of Self-Esteem
Kids with self-esteem often exhibit the following characteristics:
Trying new things, including those that they might not be good at
Facing challenges instead of avoiding them
Persevering in spite of difficulties
Coping with stress, anxiety, and pressure, whether at home or school (Very Well Mind)
It is possible to build self-esteem at any age. While earlier is better, supportive parenting can change the trajectory of a child’s life no matter where they are in their development.
Warm and loving parental relationships are the basis of self-esteem. They make children feel worthy and valued. Here are some specific suggestions for strengthening your relationship with your child and building their self-esteem.
1. Set boundaries and limits.
Set boundaries and limits to help your child feel secure and grow emotionally (Sanford Health).
2. Show interest in what your child values.
If they love music, listen to or play music with them. If they love books, take them to the library. Engaging with your kids shows them they are worth your time and attention (Raising Kids).
3. Have them do chores or help around the house.
This can include helping prepare meals, making their beds, feeding pets, or washing dishes. Contributing to the household makes kids feel accomplished and shows that you trust them to help (Kids Health).
4. Treat each child as a unique individual.
Remember, one size never fits all…so parent each child in a way that works for both of you.
5. Give balanced feedback.
This means praising your child for trying their best or doing something new, not for being the best. This teaches children to value their own efforts, and to be a good teammate (Raising Children).
6. Listen to and acknowledge your child’s thoughts and feelings.
Teach them how to deal with uncomfortable feelings and, ultimately, to self-regulate.
7. Give your child choices.
Give options and allow your child a feeling of reasonable control over their life (CHHS).
8. Make family meals together.
This strengthens family ties and allows everyone to contribute to the meal. Children can set the table, chop vegetables or cut fruit, or wash lettuce for salad. Meals also give everyone a chance to connect as a family (Raising Children).
9. Show love and affection to your children regularly.
Exhibit love and affection including physical affection—hugs, kisses, etc. Do not withhold affection even if they are misbehaving. To be effective, your love must not be conditional. Continue reinforcing that your child is lovable (CHHS).
10. Encourage them to keep trying even when things are hard.
Praise the effort. Reward perseverance. This builds their resilience.
11. Coach children through difficult social situations.
Children can experience difficult social situations at school or elsewhere. Role-play them, talk through them, etc. This helps prepare children for these situations and build confidence (Raising Children).
12. Keep children connected.
Keep children connected to family friends and extended family as much as possible. This helps develop their sense of belonging and identity. Other options include being part of a religious community, sports club, or another group (Raising Children).
13. Allow them to make mistakes.
Do not expect children to be perfect. Instead, let their mistakes be learning opportunities (Sanford Health).
14. Keep realistic expectations of your child.
This helps them meet the expectations or exceed them. Their self-esteem will grow as a result.
15. Focus on the positives.
Notice what your child is doing right, and praise them for those actions. This reinforces positive behaviors and discourages poor choices (Sanford Health).
Conclusion
Self-esteem can be nurtured in children during their childhood development. It is essential in helping them feel worthwhile, secure, and develop self-worth. This affects every area of their life.
Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for parents, schools and businesses. Soul Shoppe helps children with empathy, emotional literacy, conflict resolution and more.
Parenting is one of the most rewarding jobs in life. However, it can also be one of the most challenging. Because children do not come with instructions, it is up to parents to learn the parenting style that works best for them.
There are several parenting methods that help children develop into successful, happy adults. However, others can leave children feeling anxious with low self-esteem. That’s why we suggest the positive parenting method. It helps children become capable and resilient while bonding them to their caregiver. Although some people consider this a “fluffy” way to parent—it is not. Rather, it is effective in holding children accountable for their actions in age-appropriate ways. This system uses clear expectations and rewards to empower children to make responsible decisions.
In this article, we will detail what positive parenting is and how it benefits children. We’ll also provide positive parenting tips.
What is Positive Parenting
The movement for positive parenting began in the 1900s. Previously, it was believed that children should be “seen but not heard.” However, psychotherapist Alfred Adler declared that children should be treated with dignity and respect. He also declared that children should not be spoiled. Otherwise, they would be riddled with self-entitlement and would be devoid of empathy. Furthermore, Adler asserted that children need connections to adults and an emotionally safe environment to thrive. These ideas helped form the positive parenting method.
This style of parenting focuses on several ideas. Some of the most important include:
Parenting children in age-appropriate ways
Being sensitive to children’s needs, temperament, and developmental stage (Parenting for Brain)
Nurturing children emotionally
Having clear boundaries and limits
Building connections with children
Understanding that misbehaviors are underlying symptoms of problems. They are simply a cry for help. Once underlying symptoms are identified and dealt with, problem behaviors will cease (Positive Parenting Solutions)
The idea that a misbehaving child is not bad, mean, uncontrollable, or defiant
Having empathy for children and showing consistent love and warmth
Focusing on the children’s best interests
Rewarding good behavior and accomplishments
Having clear communication between parents and children (Positive Psychology)
Building children’s self-esteem and independence
Benefits of Positive Parenting
Research strongly supports positive parenting. In a 7 year-long study in 1997, researchers studied this method. Researchers examined supportive parenting (positive parenting) and contrasted it with less supportive parenting styles. The supportive style was defined as parent and child warmth, proactive teaching, positive involvement, and inductive discipline. Less supportive styles were harsher and had colder interactions between parent and child.
The study showed that the positive parenting style increased school performance and led to fewer behavioral problems. Furthermore, this type of parenting actually mitigated the impact of trauma and child stress (Positive Parenting). Supportive parenting was also able to overcome adversities such as single parenting, divorce, poverty, and more.
Similarly, a study on emotional coaching by Bath Spa University discovered positive outcomes for families trained by emotional coaches. Parents reported an average of 79% improvement in children’s behaviors. (Positive Parenting).
Additional research has shown that positive parenting improves social-emotional development. In fact, children increase their emotional, physical, and behavioral health. At the same time, problem behaviors, such as aggression and hyperactivity, are reduced. These benefits are shown as early as 1.5-3 years of age. Benefits last a lifetime as children have a better chance of academic success. (NCT).
The research overwhelmingly shows that positive parenting works.
Positive Parenting Tips
Here are some positive parenting tips that will enhance your relationship with your child and encourage their success.
Teach children to self-regulate when upset. For example, if they receive a bad grade on a test, empathize with them. Say things like, “I can imagine that must be very frustrating. You must feel upset.” Hugs are appropriate if the child wants one. Respect their bodily autonomy if they do not. Also, do not try to fix the situation for them by calling their teacher. Instead, encourage your child to brainstorm ways to help themselves.
Model behavior that you wish to see. When frustrated, count to 10 out loud, or take a 5-minute break. If children disrupt your self-regulation time, respond calmly. Tell them, “Mommy is taking a 5-minute break to calm down. I will help you when I am done.” (Colorado Parent)
Catch children behaving well. Too often we focus on what our children are doing wrong. Instead, watch for opportunities when children are doing what they are supposed to do. Then reward them with verbal praise, a sticker on a reward chart, or other methods. For example, if a child is playing nicely with their sibling, be sure to use specific praise. Say, “I love the way you are sharing when playing together. That’s exactly what I like to see!” (NCT)
Don’t just say “no” to their requests. If they ask to go to the park but it’s impossible to go, then use other words. For example, say “I’d love to take you now but I have to work. I can take you tomorrow instead.”
Use distraction tactics. Distraction tactics are an excellent behavior management tool in positive parenting. They help prevent meltdowns or negative behaviors. For example, if a child is getting ready to knock over another child’s toy building, use this technique. Give the child alternative things to do, such as a different activity. Also, it could be a signal that they have energy to burn. Taking them to the park is a better option than allowing the events to unfold and then punishing them later. (NCT)
Take care of yourself as a parent. Parenting is a difficult job, and it’s important for caregivers to use self-care methods. This helps ensure parents are the best version of themselves for their children. A hot bath, spending time in nature, taking time out with friends, and other strategies are important for self-care.
The goal of parenting is to offer children ways to develop into healthier, independent, and successful adults. These positive parenting tips are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to positive parenting successfully.
Children need to develop Emotional Intelligence for a variety of reasons. It helps them understand their feelings and thoughts about themselves and others, but its effects go much deeper than that. Emotional Intelligence can even have a profound effect on their ability to obtain better job opportunities later in life.
In this article, we will detail what Emotional Intelligence is and explore its benefits. Then we will discuss parenting tips to help children develop this skill.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence, often referred to as EQ, is a psychological theory that measures a person’s ability to recognize, manage, and understand their emotions. It emphasizes an awareness of how our emotions affect our behavior, and learning to manage both.
It is essential that children gain these abilities and awareness in their journey to becoming empathetic, balanced adults who are capable of handling difficult situations. The five main components of one’s EQ are:
Empathy – The ability to understand the feelings and emotions of others.
Self awareness – The ability to recognize one’s own emotional state and give an accurate self assessment. This skill is necessary for emotional growth.
Self regulation – The ability to manage thoughts and emotions, as well as consider long term consequences.
Internal motivation – Behavior that is driven by intrinsic rewards. This skill helps people attain goals they set and achieve in every area.
Social Skills – Behaving in ways that are socially acceptable. In addition, knowing how to communicate with others.
Emotional Intelligence comprises a skill set with enormous benefits. With some effort, it can be learned by both children and adults.
Benefits of Teaching Emotional Intelligence
There are many benefits to teaching Emotional Intelligence. Primarily, it helps children perceive, manage, and regulate their own feelings and emotions. Beyond that, it also helps them understand the feelings of others. Together, these give children a lowered risk of depression and other mental illnesses (Stratford).
At the same time, high Emotional Intelligence, also known as an emotional quotient (EQ), allows a student to make better connections with others, which improves their friendships, their ability to work in teams, and their conflict resolution. In fact, people with higher Emotional Intelligence are more likely to get promoted at work and earn better salaries (Latrobe University). A study by the American Journal of Public Health found that students with high EQ were more likely to obtain college degrees (Stratford). For these reasons, teaching EQ gives children a better chance at career success and a better life in general.
Parenting Tips to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children
Children begin developing their Emotional Intelligence through interaction with their parents or caregivers. Therefore, it is important that parents show children how to successfully manage their emotions. Here are some parenting tips that will help raise your child’s EQ.
Talk about feelings with your child. Children learn from adults modeling behaviors, and constructively expressing emotions is a healthy practice. Express how you are feeling to your child and allow them to see how to show the feeling in a productive way. For example, tell your child you are happy they are home from school, or you are frustrated that you had to work late. By doing so, you give them the chance to learn how to articulate feelings (Stratford).
Listen to your child. Listen to the emotions your child expresses, without trying to fix them. Instead, validate their feelings as real even if you don’t understand them (Penn State).
Recognize moods in the house. Help your child identify moods by asking, “What does it feel like to be in the house now?” Give hints if the child needs them. Gradually, children won’t need hints and will easily express the mood. Try this at different times, such as right before bedtime when it is quiet, or first thing in the morning when it is busy (Stratford).
Model How to Appropriately Express Feelings. It is important that you consistently demonstrate how to express feelings in healthy ways. Children learn early on from their caregivers about what is appropriate when expressing emotions, so begin as soon as possible. Show them that as an adult, you are responsible for how you express your emotions, even during stressful times (Penn State).
Identify the feelings of others. Encourage children to recognize when others have big feelings. For example, if another child falls down on the playground, ask your child, “How do you think they feel?” Or, while children run happily in the park, ask, “How do you think they feel to be here?” Noticing others’ feelings and how they are like their own is an important part of your child’s developing empathy. (Stratford).
Label Feelings. Help your child label their feelings and empathize with why they feel that way. This will help them articulate their emotions. Offer words to help them do so, such as, “Do you think you’re feeling confused and disappointed, or just sad?” (Penn State).
See emotions as a way to connect and teach your child. Children’s emotional episodes should not be viewed as sources of frustration for you. Instead, re-frame them by seeing them as ways to connect and strengthen your relationship. By coaching your child through their tough or poorly timed emotions, your bond grows. And, over time, they will have fewer outbursts. It’s a worthwhile investment to improve both your relationship and their emotional control. (Gottman).
Help your child solve problems with limits. While all emotions are acceptable, some behaviors are not. Teach your child problem-solving skills to help them cope with big emotions. Also, be clear about how children can express their feelings. While screaming and shouting are not acceptable, expressing sadness and frustration are. Be consistent about your expectations and have patience. Sometimes, having your child set goals with rewards can be helpful. Goals can include special time with parents and caregivers. (Gottman).
