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Every student deserves to feel seen, valued, and understood. For neurodiverse students, this means being supported in ways that honor how they think, process, feel, and learn.
In a classroom that centers around social emotional learning (SEL), students aren’t asked to fit a mold—they’re invited to grow as they are. And for neurodivergent students, this kind of inclusive, emotionally aware environment can make all the difference.
This article explores how SEL can be adapted to support neurodiverse students and offers strategies for creating a neurodiverse classroom that’s welcoming, flexible, and deeply compassionate.
What Does Neurodiverse Mean?
Before diving in, let’s revisit the neurodivergent definition:
Neurodiversity refers to the natural variation in how human brains work. It includes people who are autistic, have ADHD, dyslexia, sensory processing differences, and more. In contrast, neurotypical describes those whose brains function in ways considered “typical” by societal standards.
In any classroom, there’s a blend of neurodiverse and neurotypical learners—each with their strengths, challenges, and ways of connecting with the world.
The Struggles of Neurodiverse Students in Traditional Classrooms
Many neurodiverse students experience obstacles in school settings not because they are incapable, but because the environment isn’t designed with them in mind.
Common struggles of neurodiverse students include:
Sensory overwhelm from lights, noise, or crowded spaces
Difficulty with rigid schedules or transitions
Challenges with social cues or group dynamics
Feeling misunderstood or unseen by peers or educators
These challenges can lead to anxiety, isolation, and disengagement—unless the classroom is structured to support their emotional and sensory needs.
How SEL Supports Neurodiverse Students
Social emotional learning gives all students the tools to recognize emotions, self-regulate, and navigate relationships. For neurodivergent students, it also offers the opportunity to:
Build self-awareness in a safe, validating way
Practice communication skills through modeling and repetition
Receive consistent emotional coaching
Access calming tools and predictable routines
Feel empowered, not “corrected”
Through programs likeTools of the Heart, educators can embed emotional literacy and empathy into daily life, not as an add-on, but as a foundation for inclusive connection.
Creating a Neurodiverse Classroom with SEL at the Center
A truly inclusive classroom doesn’t just allow for differences—it welcomes them. Here’s how to use SEL to create a neurodiverse classroom where everyone thrives.
1. Make SEL Multi-Sensory
Use visuals, movement, and audio to teach SEL concepts in a way that speaks to all learners.
When SEL is accessible, it becomes a tool that’s not only effective but empowering for neurodivergent students.
2. Build Predictable Routines with Emotional Check-Ins
Consistency helps reduce anxiety and sensory overload. Create daily rhythms that include:
Morning check-ins (with verbal or nonverbal options)
Transition warnings and flexible breaks
Time to reflect or process through drawing, writing, or a quiet space
This routine supports both neurodiverse and neurotypical students, offering grounding for those who need structure and options for those who need space.
3. Normalize Emotional Coaching and Self-Regulation
Neurodivergent symptoms may include difficulty with impulse control or processing social cues. Rather than punishing these moments, SEL invites us to teach skills like:
Naming emotions without shame
Asking for space or help
Practicing calming strategies before reacting
These skills benefit the entire classroom and strengthen peer understanding.
4. Encourage Peer Empathy and Responsibility
Programs likePlanet Responsibility help students understand that they all contribute to the classroom community—and that inclusion is an active practice.
Try:
Kindness interviews between classmates
Small group discussions on how we support one another
Reflection questions like, “How did we show respect today?”
This helps shift the culture from “accommodating” to celebrating difference.
The Role of Educators (and the Future of Special Education)
As more teachers embrace inclusive SEL strategies, the future of special education teachers is evolving. It’s no longer just about individualized support—it’s about creating classrooms where emotional tools and flexible frameworks are built in for everyone.
Collaboration with a neurodiversity consultant, inclusive curriculum planning, and SEL-infused environments help teachers meet students where they are and stretch the system to serve more children well.
Classroom Culture That Embraces Neurodiversity
To truly support neurodiverse students, we need more than checklists—we need connection. SEL helps create a classroom culture that says: “You belong. Just as you are.”
This means:
Listening to the student’s voice
Offering choice and autonomy
Teaching emotional tools in every lesson
Valuing rest, repair, and regulation as much as academics
Soul Shoppe’sElementary SEL Curriculum provides the structure, language, and resources to do just that—while centering dignity and connection in every step.
Supporting Every Mind, Every Day
Every brain is different—and every student deserves to feel like they matter. By using SEL to support neurodiverse students, we’re not only helping them succeed in school—we’re honoring the diversity that makes classrooms more thoughtful, compassionate places.
Because when students feel emotionally safe, they don’t just survive. They thrive.
Stress is a natural part of growing up, but it can impact a child’s emotional, physical, and academic well-being when it becomes overwhelming. Recognizing the signs of stress in children is crucial for parents and educators to provide the right support and help students develop healthy coping mechanisms.
In this article, we’ll explore 10 signs of stress in children, the effects of stress on child development, and practical strategies for how to help a child with stress and anxiety.
Why Understanding Childhood Stress Matters
While some stress can be beneficial—helping children develop problem-solving skills and resilience—excessive stress can have lasting negative effects. Research on child stress statistics suggests that:
1 in 5 children experiences significant stress that affects daily functioning.
Chronic stress can lead to behavioral issues, difficulty concentrating, and long-term emotional challenges.
Untreated stress increases the risk of anxiety and depression later in life.
By identifying the warning signs of stress early, educators and caregivers can implement strategies to help children manage their emotions and build self-regulation skills.
10 Signs of Stress in Children
Children may not always verbalize their emotions, so it’s essential to recognize both behavioral and physical signs of stress in children.
1. Increased Irritability and Mood Swings
If a child is suddenly more irritable, short-tempered, or prone to outbursts, stress may be the underlying cause. Small frustrations may trigger big reactions, signaling emotional distress.
2. Difficulty Sleeping or Frequent Nightmares
One of the most common signs of anxiety in children is trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Frequent nightmares or night waking can indicate that stress is affecting their subconscious thoughts.
3. Changes in Appetite
Stress can lead to loss of appetite or, in some cases, emotional eating. A child who suddenly eats significantly more or less than usual may be experiencing stress-related changes in their body.
4. Physical Complaints (Headaches, Stomachaches, or Fatigue)
Unexplained headaches, stomach pains, or constant fatigue are physical signs of stress in children. Stress can cause muscle tension, digestive issues, and general discomfort.
5. Avoidance of Activities They Once Enjoyed
A child who once loved playing outside, participating in art, or attending social events but now avoids these activities may be struggling with stress or emotional overwhelm.
6. Trouble Focusing in Class
One of the biggest effects of stress on child development is difficulty concentrating. Stress makes it harder for students to retain information, complete tasks, and stay engaged in learning.
7. Social Withdrawal or Increased Clinginess
Some children retreat inward when stressed, avoiding friends and family. Others become overly clingy, seeking constant reassurance from parents or teachers.
8. Increased Nervous Habits (Nail-Biting, Hair-Twirling, or Restlessness)
Stress often manifests in fidgeting or repetitive nervous behaviors. If a child is suddenly biting their nails, tapping their feet excessively, or twirling their hair more than usual, it may be a stress response.
9. Expressing Negative Self-Talk or Feeling Overwhelmed
Statements like “I can’t do anything right” or “Nobody likes me” are signs of emotional distress in a child. When children struggle with stress, their self-esteem often takes a hit.
10. Increased Crying or Emotional Sensitivity
If a child is crying more frequently or reacting strongly to minor disappointments, they may be struggling with feelings of stress and anxiety.
How to Help a Child with Stress and Anxiety
Once you recognize childhood stress, it’s important to provide supportive interventions. Below are effective ways to help students manage stress and build resilience.
1. Create a Calm and Supportive Classroom Environment
Teachers play a vital role in reducing stress in children by making the classroom a safe and predictable space. ✔ Use calming activities: Encourage mindful breathing, quiet reading time, or sensory breaks. ✔ Keep routines consistent: Predictability helps students feel secure. ✔ Provide emotional check-ins: A simple “How are you feeling today?” can go a long way.
2. Teach Healthy Coping Strategies
Encourage children to develop self-regulation skills with stress relief techniques, such as: ✔ Mindful Breathing Exercises – Try using theEmpty Balloon Exercise to teach students how to manage stress through deep breathing. ✔ Movement Breaks – Simple stretching, yoga, or a short walk can release tension. ✔ Journaling or Drawing – Encouraging students to express emotions through writing or art can be therapeutic.
3. Encourage Open Communication
Children need a safe space to talk about their worries. ✔ Validate their feelings: Instead of saying “Don’t worry about it,” try “I see that you’re feeling worried. Let’s talk about it.” ✔ Encourage problem-solving: Help them brainstorm solutions rather than focusing on stressors.
SEL curriculums likeTools of the Heart teach children resilience, self-awareness, and emotional regulation—essential skills for managing stress.
5. Promote Healthy Sleep, Nutrition, and Exercise
✔ Encourage movement – Physical activity helps reduce stress hormones. ✔ Monitor sleep habits – Encourage parents to help students get enough rest, as sleep deprivation can worsen stress. ✔ Provide brain-boosting foods – A balanced diet supports emotional regulation.
6. Help Students Recognize and Express Emotions
Many children don’t yet have the words to express their stress. Teaching them emotional vocabulary can be powerful. ✔ Use an emotions chart to help them identify their feelings. ✔ Teach them calming phrases like “I can take a deep breath when I feel overwhelmed.”
7. Encourage Positive Peer Relationships
Having a strong support system is one of the best defenses against stress. Encourage: ✔ Peer support groups where students can talk openly about challenges. ✔ Team-based activities that promote collaboration rather than competition.
The Long-Term Impact of Stress Management on Child Development
Helping children manage stress early in life has long-term benefits:
Better academic performance – Students can focus and retain information more effectively.
Stronger emotional intelligence – They learn how to regulate emotions and interact positively.
Improved mental health – Early stress management reduces the risk of anxiety and depression.
By recognizing warning signs of stress and providing the right support, educators and caregivers can help children build resilience that lasts a lifetime.
Helping Children Navigate Stress in a Healthy Way
Understanding the signs of stress in children is the first step in creating a supportive environment where students can thrive. By implementing stress-reducing activities, fostering open communication, and using SEL techniques, teachers and parents can make a lasting impact on children’s emotional well-being.
For structured social-emotional learning strategies that help students manage stress, exploreTools of the Heart. With the right tools, every child can learn to navigate challenges with confidence and resilience.
Empathy is one of the most powerful skills a student can develop. It enhances communication, strengthens relationships, and creates a supportive learning environment where students feel seen and valued. When teachers focus on empathy in the classroom, they help shape a generation of compassionate, understanding individuals who can navigate diverse perspectives and challenges with kindness.
This article explores the importance of empathy in the classroom, provides actionable strategies for teaching empathy, and includes engaging empathy activities for elementary students. We’ll also highlight Soul Shoppe’s programs that provide teachers with the tools to foster a more connected and emotionally aware classroom environment.
The Importance of Empathy in Child Development
Empathy is more than just understanding someone else’s feelings—it’s the ability to connect with emotions and respond with kindness and care. The importance of empathy in child development cannot be overstated. Research shows that students with strong empathy skills are better at resolving conflicts, working in teams, and forming meaningful relationships.
When empathy is integrated into teaching and learning, it leads to:
Improved Peer Relationships: Students practice kindness, making classrooms more inclusive.
Stronger Conflict Resolution Skills: Understanding different perspectives helps students navigate disagreements peacefully.
Higher Emotional Intelligence: Children who learn to recognize and process emotions develop better self-regulation and problem-solving skills.
A More Positive Learning Environment: Empathy fosters a sense of belonging, reducing bullying and exclusion.
Schools that prioritize empathy education create compassionate environments where students thrive both academically and socially.
Can You Teach Empathy in the Classroom?
Teachers play a critical role in modeling and encouraging empathy. Whether through daily interactions, structured lessons, or immersive activities, teaching empathy in the classroom helps students develop emotional awareness and social responsibility.
1. Modeling Empathy in Teaching
Students learn by example. Teachers who practice empathy in teaching demonstrate active listening, patience, and understanding in their daily interactions. Some ways to model empathy include:
Acknowledging students’ emotions and responding with care.
Encouraging students to share their thoughts and feelings without judgment.
Using positive language and reinforcing kind behavior.
2. Encouraging Empathy Through Storytelling
Stories provide powerful examples of empathy in the classroom by allowing students to see the world from different perspectives. Reading books that feature diverse characters and experiences helps children understand feelings that might differ from their own.
Some empathy learning strategies using storytelling include:
Discussing how characters feel and what they might be experiencing.
Asking students to relate a character’s struggles to their own lives.
Encouraging students to rewrite a story’s ending to include a more compassionate response.
Programs like Soul Shoppe’sTools of the Heart Online Course provide additional structured resources to help integrate empathy in schools through storytelling and real-life applications.
3. Using Empathy Scenarios for Students
Role-playing and real-life empathy scenarios for students help them practice seeing situations from different perspectives. Here are some examples:
Scenario 1: A student sees a classmate sitting alone at lunch. How can they show empathy and include them?
Scenario 2: A friend forgets their homework and is feeling stressed. How can another student respond with kindness?
Scenario 3: A group project isn’t going well because one student is feeling unheard. What can the team do to make sure everyone’s voice is valued?
These exercises help reinforce how to foster empathy and encourage students to take compassionate actions in real-life situations.
Teaching Empathy Activities for Elementary Classrooms
Engaging, interactive activities can make teaching empathy more tangible for students. Below are some hands-on teaching empathy activities that teachers can incorporate into their lesson plans.
1. The Kindness Chain
Each student writes down an act of kindness they performed or received on a paper strip. As the strips are linked together, the class visually sees how their empathetic actions create a connected, caring environment.
2. Partner Perspective Sharing
Pair students and have them discuss a time they felt frustrated, excited, or nervous. Their partner must reflect on what they heard and share a similar experience, reinforcing active listening and emotional understanding.
3. Peace Path Conflict Resolution
Using thePeace Path, students can learn structured ways to navigate disagreements. This tool provides a step-by-step process for resolving conflicts while encouraging students to consider each other’s feelings and work together on solutions.
4. The Empathy Jar
Students write down moments when they saw or experienced empathy, then place them in a class “Empathy Jar.” At the end of the week, the class reviews and celebrates examples of kindness and compassion.
5. Respect Differences Discussion
As part of a larger conversation about empathy education, teachers can introduce lessons from Soul Shoppe’sRespect Differences program. Activities from this curriculum help students understand and celebrate diversity while practicing empathy for people with different backgrounds and experiences.
Empathy Training for Teachers: Tools for Educators
To successfully implement empathy learning, teachers need the right tools and resources. Soul Shoppe offers structured programs designed to help educators bring empathy in the classroom to life.
1. Peacemaker School Training
ThePeacemaker Trainer Certification provides teachers with skills and strategies to foster conflict resolution, social awareness, and emotional intelligence in students. This program helps schools build a strong foundation for empathy education and compassionate leadership.
Educators looking for additional materials can explore Soul Shoppe’sWhat’s New Blog, where they’ll find articles, tips, and activities focused on how to teach empathy in engaging and meaningful ways.
3. Planet Peace
ThePlanet Peace curriculum provides structured lessons on SEL topics, including conflict resolution, kindness, and teaching empathy in the classroom. This program helps reinforce empathy learning through interactive storytelling and community-building exercises.
The Lasting Impact of Empathy in Schools
Fostering empathy in schools creates a more supportive, inclusive, and emotionally intelligent learning environment. When students practice how to foster empathy, they become more understanding, patient, and connected to those around them.
By implementing teaching empathy activities, using empathy scenarios for students, and modeling empathy in teaching, educators lay the groundwork for lifelong emotional and social success.
Start Teaching Empathy in the Classroom Today
Soul Shoppe’s SEL curriculum for elementary schools provides everything educators need to successfully integrate empathy in the classroom. Whether through structured curriculums, teacher training, or hands-on activities, these tools help shape classrooms where students feel safe, respected, and connected.
Explore Soul Shoppe’sempathy-building programs today and create a classroom culture that prioritizes understanding, kindness, and emotional growth.
A key aspect to understand in social and emotional learning is the importance of managing emotions. Incorporating ways to manage emotions in a classroom setting can help teach children skills necessary to live rewarding lives. If children can get an education that teaches them how to deal with emotions in a healthy way, they are more likely to thrive.
Managing emotions in a positive way has far-reaching benefits. Not only will a kid with the ability to self-regulate their feelings experience better social interactions, but there are also health benefits to effective emotional management. People who know how to manage their emotions in a positive way will have better cardiovascular health. (HHP) Good emotional health quite literally gives people good hearts.
While there are many techniques that might prove effective for positive emotional management, we have a favorite. The Empty Balloon is an exercise we often implement here at Soul Shoppe.
The Empty Balloon Exercise — How it Works
The Empty Balloon Exercise is an emotional management tool. It begins by having students visualize emotional states as big balloons. As the emotion expands, the imagined balloon expands. And what happens to balloons when they overinflate?
They pop.
In an effort to avoid emotional explosions, the idea is to find ways to release pressure from your emotional ballon before they pop.
Improving Emotional Intelligence for Elementary Students
Emotional intelligence is a critical factor in the effective management of emotions. The practice of improving emotional intelligence is a lifelong challenge for most of us. It’s valuable to prepare children with a solid foundation in understanding how to interpret and manage emotions. This includes their own and those of other people.
In order to improve emotional intelligence, teachers and parents can incorporate certain activities into their curricula. Such as: (DCE)
Self-awareness activities. Activities like journaling and role-playing help children learn self-awareness. Reading is also a good tool for learning self-awareness.
Practicing self-regulation. Exercises like pausing to breathe before reacting and recognizing your own emotions are important. Board games and active games like Simon Says help kids learn and practice self-regulation skills.
Empathy is an important part of improving emotional management. It may not come naturally for children to think about how other kids feel. Activities like check-ins including the whole class, or role-playing help students practice empathy.
Cultivating social skills. Nothing teaches emotional intelligence better than social interaction. Providing children with opportunities to practice social skills gives them practical experience in developing emotional awareness. Team sports and playing games as teams provide good aids in teaching social skills.
A lot goes into emotional intelligence. With a strong grounding in emotional awareness, students can learn lessons to help them manage and control their emotions in healthy ways. (HBS)
Sometimes children find it challenging to differentiate between feelings and emotions. It is important to develop the skills to identify when it is an emotion and when it is a feeling. Feelings are generally immediate reactions to situations, while emotions often involve a deeper psychological reality. (iMotions)
How to Manage and Control Emotions in Healthy Ways
Emotional balloons will inflate. Being human means having emotions. Developing emotional intelligence is a lifelong skill. When kids can identify what they’re feeling, they will have better luck deflating their emotional balloons.
There are a handful of good ways to deflate your emotional balloon. Here are a few: (SoulShoppe)
Hang out with friends. Social interaction helps raise emotional awareness and helps turn negative emotions into positive ones.
Dance it out. Engaging the body with an activity unrelated to a negative emotion helps reduce the pressure in your emotional balloon. Plus…
Listening to music is always a good emotional outlet!
Stop and breathe for a second before doing the next thing.
Read a book. If the problem is getting too deep into your own head, books are great ways to change how you’re thinking.
Give someone a hug. As naturally social animals, humans heal from positive physical contact.
Find a chuckle. Laughing stimulates endorphin production and helps with mood regulation.
Do something creative. Drawing a picture, singing a song, and writing some poetry, are all ways to redirect emotional energy in a positive way.
Talking to someone trustworthy will also help relieve emotional stress a lot of the time.
Cry if you need to!
There are a lot of ways to relieve pressure from your emotional balloon, or even empty it completely.
Peace Corner
Where can students go during the school day when they need a moment to empty their emotional balloons? A peace corner is a safe space that can be created in the classroom or at home where children can empty their emotional balloons. Find out how to create a peace corner here.
There are many opportunities for children to learn how to manage emotions in a positive way, at home and at school. Through creating and sharing social and emotional learning techniques, Soul Shoppe helps teachers and parents at home or in the classroom. Our SEL curriculum for elementary school students help children learn positive emotional management. We have developed tools like the Empty Emotional Balloon exercise and the Peace Corner to bring SEL tools to your curriculum. To learn about online SEL programs for elementary schools, click here. For home school social emotional programs, click here.
Taking responsibility for one’s actions can be a challenge for both children and adults. To our lower brains, voluntarily taking responsibility for actions feels like attracting consequences on purpose. It isn’t necessarily a natural instinct. On the other hand, higher executive functions tell us something different. Those functions help people live successful lives as contributing members of their communities. (DevelopingChild) Therefore, developing strength of character, to make taking responsibility for their actions a habit, helps children grow into strong community members. But how do we teach a child to take responsibility for their actions at home or at school? Let’s explore.
How To Teach a Child to Take Responsibility for Their Actions
Modeling
Taking responsibility for actions as well as approaching tasks responsibly requires the development of higher executive functions. Functions like working memory, mental flexibility, and self-control. (DevelopingChild)
In a classroom setting as well as in the home, the most effective teaching method for higher executive functions is modeling them. (MCC)
It’s important for teachers and parents to develop caring relationships with their children.
Adults should make an effort to be strong and healthy role models. Children see everything and they’re always learning.
It should be made clear by parents and teachers that caring matters.
Additionally, children need to be given opportunities to practice caring. This might include volunteering opportunities or other activities that teach responsibility.
Expose children to a wider understanding of the cares of the world, within reason, to help them to build empathy.
Modeling healthy behavior will teach children higher executive functions, such as taking responsibility for their actions. Educators and parents can reinforce the lessons through activities and games that teach responsibility.
Role-playing helps to teach children about outcomes of scenarios that haven’t occurred yet. Set up a scenario where the person in the scenario did something that affected others negatively. Prompt the child to take responsibility for their actions, and then demonstrate a positive outcome. Praise the child in the scenario. You might say something like, “Sometimes it can be hard to tell the truth. I’m so glad you were honest and told me about what happened. Let’s work together to fix the situation.”
Tidying up their Workspace
Nobody likes cleaning up the workspace at the end of the day. Right?
What if it’s turned into a game? Maybe at the end of the day, turn tidying up the classroom into a game. Perhaps race to see who can clean up their space first.
It’s possible to reframe tidying up as a positive and rewarding activity. It can easily become an effective technique for teaching responsibility to students.
Help in the Kitchen
Kids can learn a lot about responsibility from cooking. Kitchens are full of tools that have to be used responsibly in order to be useful and not dangerous. Cooking requires attention to detail and effective planning. It also comes with an automatic reward for doing it right in the form of a cake, or a batch of cookies, or a meal.
Because most recipes also come with several jobs and tools, parents or educators can assign responsibilities to different children. One kid can be in charge of the recipe. Another kid might be responsible for the measuring cups or measuring spoons. There might be a child entirely in charge of setting and watching timers.
Kitchens come ready-made with tools that teach responsibility.
Reorganize the Workspace
Maybe a classroom, a playroom, or a reading area isn’t the most sensible layout and has the potential for restructuring. Children can learn a lot about taking responsibility for their own space if the following question is raised: “How would you reorganize this space?”
Students can learn higher cognitive skills from an exercise involving reorganizing their classroom or workspace. They will need to practice planning in order to think about making changes to the current layout. Reorganizing might involve negotiation and compromise if one kid has one idea and another kid has a different idea.
The end result will be rewarding to all children involved. They get to feel like they were responsible for a positive change in their environment.
Animal Care
If there is a class pet or animal at home, then caring for the animal will help teach responsibility. Children will have to learn how to make adjustments in their schedules to take care of the animal. There are also lessons in remembering to keep to a schedule. Caring for an animal comes with a sense of responsibility since a child’s actions affect the well-being of another living thing. Children can also learn community interaction skills if the whole class bears responsibility for the class pet.
Corporate Garden
Similar to caring for an animal, planting a garden as a class, or at home, helps children learn how to take responsibility for their actions. This activity requires that they pay attention to the care and needs of the plants, attending to the everyday requirements of weeding and watering. Children will need to think about how the weather might affect their garden. They might have to take responsibility for creating shelter for the plants or checking the soil. Gardens teach time management skills as well as working memory.
Teaching Responsibility
It’s important to teach a child how to take responsibility for their actions. By using games and activities that teach accountability, teachers and parents can help children develop higher cognitive skills. It is also important to live the lessons being taught. Kids learn by example. If their teachers and parents demonstrate responsible behaviors, children will likely model them too.
Self-control is one of the most important life skills anyone can learn. By providing lessons that nurture self-control skills, parents and teachers can set children up for success later in life. (UsableKnowledge)
Classroom games are a great way to teach self-control as a social and emotional skill. Social and emotional learning skills that contribute to self-control help children succeed in academia and outside the classroom. In this article, we’ll explore the functions of self-control as well as self-control games and activities that apply those functions.
Self-Control Functions
First, it is necessary to understand the functions contributing to self-control. With an understanding of those functions, it’s possible to begin developing games and activities that create learning opportunities for children.
The functions contributing to the development of self-control are: (DevelopingChild)
Working memory. This is when a person knows how to effectively store information in their mind and use it effectively when necessary.
Inhibitory control. This is the ability to pause and reflect on compulsions and impulses. Inhibitory control is mastery over temptations, distractions, and behaviors that might develop into habits.
Cognitive flexibility. Identifying priorities, adjusting perspective, and adapting to the demands of new situations are all under the umbrella of cognitive flexibility. A capacity for this mental resilience is a necessary part of self-control.
Incorporating practices for working memory, inhibitory control, and cognitive flexibility will be essential in creating self-control activities for students.
It’s a good possibility that parents and teachers already have activities and games in their resources that teach self-control. Many activities and games children find fun are already good teaching opportunities for self-control. They just need a little more context in order to become more effective self-control strategies for students.
Here are some self-control games that teachers and parents can use:
Self-Control Games
Card Games and Board Games
Card games and board games are excellent aids in teaching self-control strategies to students. Rule-based and goal-oriented card games and board games help children to practice using executive functions to achieve goals. At the same time, card games and board games are social. They put children in scenarios where they have to interact with other children to reach their goals. Children are well-served by practicing a habit of approaching problems with an understanding of how behaviors relate to results. (HBS)
For example:
Card games require children to keep track of numbers and rules and exercise their working memory.
Board games need fast decision-making in challenging situations.
Games are built on strategic thinking, where a decision now relates to an abstract event in the future. These are especially valuable because children have to make decisions involving other people’s actions. Children will start to understand how their own choices relate to the decisions of other people.
Complex rule sets. The mere practice of learning and playing within a complex set of rules gives children practice for higher functions.
Implementing these games with a more intentional approach will better teach self-control strategies. When children are playing, compliment how they are being cooperative and following rules. When they are frustrated, praise them when they aren’t having an outburst. This will help encourage them to continue having self-control while playing.
Physical Activities or Games
In addition to indoor activities, parents and teachers can use outdoor activities for teaching children self-control.
Organized sports place children in situations that teach them higher cognitive functions. When children play sports they are regularly practicing the functions of self-control. Remembering rules and habits of play practices working memory. Avoiding cheating and channeling energy practices inhibitory control. Practicing ingenuity and imaginative solutions helps children with cognitive flexibility.
How much self-control children learn from physical activities like organized sports will depend on how those activities are framed for them. Organized sports already have all the teaching elements. They just need to be explained in a social and emotional learning context.
Music, Singing, Dancing, and Other Creative Pursuits
The discipline and emotional engagement of various creative pursuits create a positive learning context for self-control. Pursuing a creative discipline teaches children many higher cognitive functions. (Harvard)
For example:
When children learn a musical instrument, it helps them practice self-monitoring and selective attention. Learning a musical instrument also teaches working memory as they memorize songs and practice using the instrument correctly.
Musical classes can also provide social opportunities for children. Playing in a band or orchestra helps students to practice cognitive flexibility in order to cooperate with the other children.
Dancing provides similar opportunities to practice higher cognitive skills that contribute to self-control strategies for students.
These creative activities, and others, provide students the ability to practice skills that contribute to self-control. Painting, writing, woodworking, sculpture–pretty much every creative activity has an element of disciplined goal-orientedness that helps children practice self-control. Teachers and parents can use all creative endeavors as social and emotional learning tools.
Stop, Breathe, and Think
Sometimes normal games aren’t enough to help students regulate self-control. In moments when students are having an emotional moment, they can be taught how to expel their energy in a positive way. Using the Stop, Breathe, and Think Technique children are taught to realize when their emotional balloons are full and retreat to a designated corner to control themselves. They can use fun breathing exercises like the bees breathing technique that James uses here to release that emotional energy.
Learn about creating a peace corner for your classroom or home here.
Social and emotional learning means everything to us over here at Soul Shoppe. We have developed teaching tools and techniques to help teachers and parents at school and at home. With tools like our Stop and Breathe Technique and our peace corner, we give educators everywhere the resources they need to help students with social-emotional learning. Click for information on SEL programs for elementary schools or social emotional homeschool electives.
Once you recognize 
