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Education in general, but especially for children, rests on an assumption that new ideas will be explored–new thoughts will be thought. Some ideas cause discomfort, and some thoughts feel dangerous. When encountering new ideas or thinking new thoughts, children will worry sometimes whether what they think is somehow bad or wrong. Even if the thought isn’t wrong or bad, if it feels uncomfortable children are less likely to speak about them out loud or ask questions to better understand the new information. This new information might be an unsettling experience in life. Other experiences might include interactions with discrimination which makes environments feel unsafe.
For this reason, it’s essential to create a safe space in every classroom setting where children feel they’re allowed to ask any question without attracting negative reactions. In this article, we’ll explore what makes a safe space and how to create a safe space in the classroom.
How To Create A Safe Space
What is a Safe Space?
Safe space can refer to actual space, such as a classroom, or can even indicate a safe space ideologically. These can also be the same thing. Regardless, it’s important to create some clear and specific context where the boundaries clearly define where and when there will be no judgment.
There are different schools of thought around how to create a safe space, inside and outside the classroom. It’s vital that classrooms are safe spaces, and that they lend themselves to becoming safe spaces. Ideas are being tested already, and so some thinkers push a narrative of embracing a strategy of turning classrooms into “brave spaces.” In a brave space, educators tackle controversy with civility and moderate conversation to aid in ownership of intentions and their impact.
How to Create a Safe Space in the Classroom
Creating a safe space in the classroom starts with the teacher. An educator sets the tone of their classroom before students even set foot in there.
Since the crux of safe spaces stems from First-Amendment rights, it’s possible to begin with a conversation about the First Amendment. Every student–every person–has to understand the content and the implications of the First Amendment of the U.S. constitution. At the same time, it weighs on an educator to mediate productive dialogue, rather than permit a conversation that goes anywhere. While the goal is to create a classroom environment where students feel free to speak their minds, there are ways to be honest while showing respect.
Understanding how to speak both freely and respectfully is a necessary step in creating a safe space.
Educators might moderate this dialogue about First Amendment rights by…
Leading conversation on the subject of hurtful terms and what terms to use instead. If a child has never had an opportunity to learn that a given term may offend in some cases, then it is valuable to hear that in a safe environment.
Cultivate empathy. In the context of the classroom, conversations about understanding and empathizing with the perspectives of others turns into a skill. Skills have technical aspects, and they can be improved by practice and repetition. Discussions about what other people might think or feel helps create an environment of mutual respect.
Moderate conversations between peers when one of them has offended the other. Sometimes children haven’t learned the tools to communicate their feelings honestly and with empathy. Educators are in a position to use social situations as teaching opportunities.
Encourage students to speak up when they hear potentially damaging or derogatory speech. Children are more likely to speak up and honestly appraise what they hear if they’re not worried about possible negative consequences of speaking up. So, make it clear that nothing punitive happens when people do speak out about derogatory speech.
Create opportunities for open discussion, like “circle time” or otherwise age-appropriate contexts that enable a sense that this time is protected–i.e., a safe space.
Project Empty
Try our Project Empty Challenge and create a Peace Corner. Somewhere in your home or educational space, create a protected place with tools that promote calm. Tailor it to the needs of your students (and yourself). Any art, comfy cushions, or art supplies that promote a sense of calm can create a space that feels safe and welcoming.
Creating Safe Spaces
A classroom has to be a place free of fear, or at least somewhere that encourages bravery. If an educator wants to prepare their students to have rewarding lives, then it is essential to create a safe space where all students feel welcome, seen, and embraced. To do this means teaching techniques for respect and empathy and talking about some hard ideas. In the end, creating a safe space in the classroom empowers students for the rest of their lives.
Feelings can be complicated, and especially as a child, they can be difficult to navigate and express. It’s therefore important to help children find the words they need to vocalize their feelings.
When we talk about expressing feelings, a few clarifications are needed. Feelings and emotions are not the same. It’s tempting to use the words interchangeably, but it isn’t quite accurate to do so.
According to an article from Wake Forest University, feelings result from many different sensations, such as hunger or weariness. Feelings can come from emotions as well. Feelings are always conscious experiences, even if sometimes it’s unclear what’s causing them. (Wake)
Emotions are more complicated and unconscious. They are responses to layered experiences. According to the book, Discovering Psychology, they include “a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response.” (Very Well)
The first major step in discovering how to express your feelings in words is distinguishing whether the sensations are feelings or emotions.
How To Express Your Feelings in Words
Words to Describe Emotions and Feelings
In general, expressing emotions takes fewer words. At the same time, it requires courage. Children might find it difficult to voice the emotions they’re experiencing.
Help your child or students with vocabulary that enables communication of emotions.
The six basic emotions are:
Anger
Fear
Joy
Love
Sadness
Surprise
After a child identifies one of these emotions, then it becomes easier to start talking about feelings.
Feelings can come from emotions. For example:
Envy can be a feeling that comes from anger.
People feel panic as a result of fear.
Relief can be a feeling proceeding from joy.
Sometimes people feel longing because of the emotion of love.
Humiliation can be a feeling that comes from sadness.
Feelings and emotions can be complex. Panic might come from fear, but then it might lead to anger. Feelings of shame can sometimes stem from a moment that started as joyful.
Once an emotion or feeling has been identified, it’s easier to choose appropriate coping mechanisms.
Among the most effective tools for expressing feelings in healthy ways is the, “I feel…When people…I need…Will you please…” formation. (SoulShoppe)
This formation may need to be broken down, especially for younger children.
Start with just the “I feel…” part.
For example…
I feel frustrated.
I feel worried.
I feel nervous.
After children get used to identifying their feelings and emotions, start asking them to identify the cause of their feelings. Use the formation, “I feel…when people…”
For example…
I feel frustrated when people talk about how I pronounce words.
I feel worried when people remind me I have a math quiz.
I feel nervous when people talk about how I wear glasses.
Once they start getting the hang of associating their feelings with things happening in their lives, start asking them to begin looking for the reason those events matter. Use the “I feel…when people…I need…” formation.
For example…
I feel frustrated when people talk about how I pronounce words. I need to feel safe when I talk.
I feel worried when people remind me I have a math quiz. I need to learn my math problems.
I feel nervous when people talk about how I wear my glasses. I need to feel safe wearing my glasses.
The point of this formation is to give children more tools to communicate what’s going on inside them.
The last step is giving children the tools to ask for what they need. For example…
I feel frustrated when people talk about how I pronounce words. I need to feel safe when I talk. Will you please stop pointing out how I pronounce words?
I feel worried when people remind me I have a math quiz. I need to learn my math problems. Will you please help me study?
I feel nervous when people talk about how I wear my glasses. I need to feel safe wearing my glasses. Will you please stop talking about my glasses?
Why a Child has Difficulty Expressing Emotions
The reason a child might have trouble expressing emotions and feelings is simply that they’ve experienced fewer things than an adult, and some feelings are new. As a result, they’ve had fewer opportunities to learn the terminology necessary to express their emotions and feelings. According to Vanderbilt University, “Children get angry, sad, frustrated, nervous, happy, or embarrassed, but they often do not have the words to talk about how they are feeling. Instead, they sometimes act out these emotions in very physical and inappropriate ways.” (Vanderbilt) Children can end up experiencing frustration when they haven’t yet learned the words necessary to explain what they are feeling.
Therefore, teaching your child to identify and express emotions and feelings is of paramount importance. Gently helping children to better grasp the vocabulary and tools to identify and express emotions will prepare them for a far more rewarding life. This is because when they learn how to express their feelings in words they can then progress to learning coping mechanisms to express their feelings in healthy ways.
Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs for children. For more than twenty years we’ve created tools and empowered educators to incorporate emotional intelligence into curriculum. Soul Shoppe strategies encourage empathy and emotional awareness in children. Whether helping in the classroom or assisting parents at home, Soul Shoppe brings social skills to the forefront of the discussion. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools or our parent support programs.
When you have respect for someone, you admire them for their abilities, qualities, and achievements. Respect is something that individuals crave. Both inward respect, toward self, and outward respect, toward others are essential in creating thriving environments.
Respect can be taught in an emotionally positive way at home and in a classroom setting.
According to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, “Respect has great importance in everyday life.” (Stanford). Respect for oneself and for the community can have a profound determining effect on a child’s development. The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy goes on to say that, “how our lives go depends every bit as much on whether we respect ourselves.” As educators, it’s of high importance to include learning opportunities in curricula that give students tools to learn to respect themselves and their communities.
Teaching respect in the classroom through activities is worth the effort. When children learn to respect differences, it benefits them for the rest of their lives. At Soul Shoppe, we have an entire curriculum available online for grades K-6 that’s dedicated to teaching how to respect differences. Click for more information.
In addition, we’ve put together a list of games to help get you started.
This game is appropriate for grades K-8. The basic premise is to create positive emotional relationships with the things that make people different from each other.
Materials:
Paper
Art supplies
Method:
Begin by writing the word “Unique” in some prominent place in your classroom–chalkboard or on a big piece of paper on the wall.
Students write down positive aspects of other people that are different from themselves. Emphasize choosing unique characteristics that they like.
Lead a discussion on these unique characteristics. Talk about why differences are important and good.
For this game, students will systematically get in the habit of using positive language in their interactions and will try to find positive features in other people.
Materials:
A journal for every student.
Method:
Every day for a week, students will give a sincere compliment to someone.
They will create a weekly planner with the provided journal and track their progress.
Every day they track who they complimented, who complimented them, and how they reacted.
Understanding more words about a subject helps students comprehend and use the lessons to a higher degree. In this game, students will learn synonyms for and terms related to “respect.”
Materials:
Dictionary
Construction paper
Markers
Method:
All students look up the word “respect” in a dictionary.
They will find at least ten synonyms or terms related to the word “respect” or “respectful.”
Everyone writes down the terms they’ve looked up on strips of construction paper.
Now make a chain from all the strips. Celebrate every foot in length the chain accumulates.
Teaching Respect in the Classroom
This is far from an exhaustive list of respect activities for elementary students that educators might incorporate into curricula. Games like these take time, but they engage students on multiple levels and encourage them to internalize ideas and practices encouraging respect in and outside of the classroom. These activities can also be used by parents when homeschooling.
Teaching respect helps to promote cooperation and acceptance. The classroom is the place that children associate with learning important lessons to prepare them for success in life. Therefore, it’s the perfect place to incorporate activities on respect.
Soul Shoppe provides social emotional learning programs. For more than twenty years they’ve been devoted to creating tools and empowering educators of all stripes to incorporate emotional intelligence into their curricula. Their strategies are effective in encouraging empathy and emotional awareness in children. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools. Click here for the respect differences online program.
We learn by doing. It’s true of everyone, especially children. And for certain things, behavioral learning is the most effective way to learn. Skills that depend on data and knowledge, such as mathematics, can start with data and theory, which might get strengthened with practice. Emotionally dependent skills, such as self-esteem, may be better suited for an activity, and an experience-based learning environment for the lessons to land.
Life experiences are the sources of self-esteem. Children want to feel included in communities, and experiences of rejection or acceptance into communities dramatically impact their sense of self-esteem. There are any number of reasons children might feel accepted or rejected by their peers. Children might highlight differences between each other, or affirm similarities. Some children may make decisions based on observations of what they see in the world, such as self-identifying that they are different. This may lead them to make judgments about themselves without any direct interactions. So many factors contribute to the development of self-esteem that educators can never anticipate all of them.
Self-esteem is among the most important factors in the development of any child. Good self-esteem can be the determining factor in the long-term success of a child, while damaged self-esteem can leave children struggling for the rest of their lives.
For these reasons, it’s imperative to include worthwhile self-esteem-building group activities into educational curriculum.
Self-Esteem Group Activities for Youth
Group activities are excellent for building self-esteem in children. Though it’s not the only deciding factor in developing self-esteem, community integration has a powerful determining effect on developing self-esteem.
Cultivating confidence that it’s safe to express feelings aloud.
Recognizing there are people out there with the same fears.
All the students in the class write down something they’re afraid of. Then there’s an open discussion where the question is posed, “What would it be like if that happened?” It can be helpful to adopt an attitude that if the fear came to pass, it might not be as bad as anticipated.
The Gratitude Journal
Creating a habit of looking for good things happening around them encourages children to look for positive aspects of themselves. For this activity, every child has a designated journal for this purpose. On a weekly basis, they are encouraged to write positive things they notice about other people. Then, two or three times every month, have a discussion with the whole class on the highlights from their gratitude journals.
Positive Rephrasing
In this activity, children will say their statements of self-challenge. Things like, “I am a bad writer,” or “I don’t have a lot of friends.” Then the student rephrases the statements into more positive statements. I.e. “I come up with creative ideas when I write” or “I have a great best friend.”
What are Good Traits Discussion
For this activity, students write down traits that they consider “good.” I.e. Good at sports–funny–kind–etc. After making the list, have a discussion in class about the traits. What do these traits look like in a person? How do you cultivate them?
Cooperative Boardgames
Games are fun, and they can either encourage individual conflict, or they can be tools for developing cooperation and a sense of being a valued part of the community. Play board games, and put children into small teams so that they can cooperate on decisions and work together.
Write the End Goal
It can be frustrating being a child. Children can have trouble feeling certain about having any agency in their own lives. With this activity, children write down outcomes they would like to see in their lives. Treating a child’s plans seriously affirms their sense that their actions and thoughts matter.
How to Build Self-Esteem in Students
In the end, there are a lot of potential self-esteem group activities that encourage growth. Determining which ones are best to choose will depend on the educators, the students, and many other factors. Take into consideration factors that contribute to self-esteem when creating activities. Factors such as…
Definitions–who am I? What does that say about me?
Relationships–who am I in my relationships? How do they change me?
Accomplishments–what do I do well? How have I shown improvement? And, alternately, do I wish to change any of my habits?
Self-esteem is complicated, but the factors contributing to positive self-esteem tend toward common experiences. If that’s true, then it’s possible to create environments that encourage improved self-esteem.
Soul Shoppe is a social emotional learning company. For more than twenty years they’ve been devoted to creating tools and empowering educators of all stripes to incorporate emotional intelligence into their curricula. Their strategies are effective in encouraging empathy and emotional awareness in children. Through these strategies and their Peacemaker Program they help decrease conflicts in playgrounds across the country. Click for more information on SEL Programs for Elementary Schools.
When it comes to learning about diversity, children have a huge advantage over adults. If a child encounters something new, they tend to accept it as a part of life with limited judgment. The natural impulse for most people when encountering something confusing is to label it as weird (Qian). When we’re children, we have two ways to develop context clues to support value judgments. One way is through explicit means, like explanations from parents and teachers. The other way is by implicit means, such as pop culture depictions and witnessed interpersonal interactions (Harvard). Educators should be aware of both means of developing value judgments when teaching children about diversity. Even though we can’t control the implicit formation of prejudice, it’s important to understand how your teaching choices explicitly affect a child’s developing understanding of diversity.
Teaching Children About Diversity
Unlearning Biases
People can develop implicit biases as early as four years of age (Harvard). That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to teach acceptance of diversity to children. It’s important to know what you’re up against when you start. From an early age, we develop instincts to think of people similar to us in “good” terms and people who are different in “bad” terms. According to Dr. Miao Qian, a postdoctoral research fellow with the Inequality in America Initiative, the way forward out of this pattern is a persistent effort to unlearn subconscious habits of stereotyping. Qian and her team are developing an app game designed to retrain people to new subconscious habits. Qian’s hope is to begin a trend of no longer equating different with bad.
According to Qian, unlearning bias will be the most effective tool in helping future generations grow up with better acceptance of diversity. The fact of the matter is that we inadvertently imbue children with subconscious prejudices. With care and vigilance, we can foster circumstances that will encourage new subconscious habits. The key to the future is unlearning biases.
There are a few things you can do, as educators, through teaching diversity in classroom activities. In addition, Soul Shoppe can help with online courses such as Respect Differences and Allies Against Racism.
Incorporate More Diversity into Reading Lists
Reading can be a powerful tool and diverse books are important.
The good news is that the need for diverse books is a known problem. Recently, writers and publishers have been doing a hard push to give less-represented voices a bigger platform (Harvard). The question, “Why aren’t there more people in these books like me?” can guide you. We’ve been using stories as a safe place to try out hard thoughts and feelings since we worked out how to light campfires.
It can be a powerful thing to strive for more diverse representations of racial backgrounds, sexual orientations, etc., in the literature you incorporate into curricula. Children tend to form a lot of biases from literature. Normative depictions of characters with diverse backgrounds can be a powerful influencing factor in how children develop or redefine biases (Harvard).
Diverse representation in reading lists creates more opportunities for conversations about prejudice. It’s difficult to judge what has influenced kids in their lives outside of the classroom. It’s equally difficult to anticipate what they will encounter that will influence how they develop biases. What an educator can do is set reading lists and know what’s on them.
It’s important to incorporate teaching about diversity in classroom activities because we’re dealing with largely subconscious biases developed from implicit influences. Relearning biases requires similarly implicit and subconscious tools.
Talking about Prejudice – Explicit Tools for Implicit Problems
Fear is an influencing factor in developing biases about anyone with a different background than yourself. A powerful tool to help with uncertainty and fear is creating a safe place to talk about hard subjects.
It’s important to talk about prejudice (Harvard). Children sometimes lack the vocabulary to talk about or make decisions about new things they haven’t encountered yet. Supervised conversations in a classroom setting can give children a sense that it’s safe to ask hard questions and that their views matter (Harvard).
In a classroom setting, children can think about questions they might not encounter explicitly in their daily lives. Questions like:
What does discrimination look like?
Have you ever been impacted by discrimination?
Conversations about prejudice and discrimination are difficult, but supervised conversation nurtures communication skills–both speaking and listening. Listening is an important step in accepting diverse perspectives.
How to Teach Diversity in the Classroom through Classroom Activities
As mentioned above, when diversity is taught through activities it can be extremely effective. Here are some ideas:
Say hello each day in various languages
Serve a snack from different cultures around the world
Intolerance rests on a foundation of biases gained by both implicit and explicit influences. Addressing prejudices isn’t impossible, but it takes patience and persistence. Learning to accept diversity requires an effort to relearn subconscious biases, some of which we might not know are there. By incorporating more tools for empathizing with and normalizing diverse perspectives and backgrounds, it’s possible to make curricula that aid in teaching children about diversity.
Most adults understand that gratitude is more than saying thank you when receiving a gift or compliment. Gratitude is an attitude of the heart.
Some parents may ask, “What is gratitude for kids?” It’s one thing to teach children to say thank you–express gratitude–and it’s another to live with an attitude of gratitude.
This article will discuss how to teach gratitude to kids. We’ll also share some great gratitude activities for kids.
What Is Gratitude For Kids?
When some of our team members were on-site at a school just before the pandemic hit, they discussed gratitude with a group of children. One child said, “Gratitude means you’re happy when your parents give you something.” The team smiled at the child and used their response to discuss further.
Webster’s dictionary defines gratitude as “A feeling of appreciation or thanks.” Children experience feelings–or attitudes–of thanks many times throughout their days. When a teacher calls on them in class–thus expressing an interest in their thoughts–or when a classmate compliments them. Other instances can include when someone lets them borrow a pencil, or someone else plays nicely with them at recess.
All these examples help children connect the idea of gratitude to the feeling of thanks.
When we talk about what gratitude is for kids, we need to remember not to focus on material goods but on the actions of others and whatever provision we have in our lives.
A child in one of our online sessions explained gratitude this way, “It is how I felt when my mom smiled at me when I was nice to my sister.” At 9-years old, this child expressed a social-emotional response that led to them feeling warm and accepted.
Another student in high school described gratitude as “Recognizing the fact that someone else truly sees me.” This response indicates a more developed understanding of the complex nature of feelings and interpersonal relationships. It also describes an internal response to an outward stimulus.
We share these examples, in particular, to highlight the fact that how you explain gratitude to a child will vary in terms of their ages. Fortunately, most children have experienced this and therefore, can relate to definitions of the words and actions that exemplify what it feels like internally.
The children’s entertainment organization PBS reminds us that children imitate the adults in their lives. To that end, we can show children what gratitude looks like when we consistently thank others for both big and small acts of kindness.
PBS writes, “Encourage your child to follow suit. When you write a thank you note to someone they know, let them add a picture or dictate a few words. As they get older, encourage them to write their own thank you cards or make thank you gifts for people who have touched their lives, such as teachers, coaches, or community helpers.” Showing gratitude in front of your children and then involving them in expressions of appreciation helps them make the connections between what gratitude looks like and how it feels.
There are several activities teachers can use in their classrooms, and parents can use at home to teach gratitude to kids.
Gratitude Activities for Kids
These activities can bring gratitude to life and help kids celebrate the positive feelings associated with such a fantastic attitude!
Each of the following gratitude activities for kids can be modified to your child’s level of development.
Create a Gratitude Jar
All you need to create a gratitude jar is a large clear container, a stack of sticky notes, and a pen (or brightly colored markers if you’re feeling creative).
Each evening, invite everyone in the family to write or draw something they are grateful for. They can depict something that happened that day or a mainstay in their lives, such as their pet, a favorite food, or a special friend. On Fridays, read the gratitude notes as a family and celebrate each one with smiles, applause, etc.
Create a Gratitude Vision Board
Vision boards are an excellent way for children to keep the positive aspects of their lives in front of them so when they’re feeling down, isolated, or sad, they can quickly reference their vision boards and remind themselves how much they have to be grateful for.
Gather magazines, construction paper, stickers, and any other media to help children describe what it means to be grateful. Have them create a list of things, people, or places for which they are thankful. Then have them fill their vision boards with words or photos that represent the items on their list.
Gratitude Prompts
Gratitude prompts are a great way to help children begin a consistent gratitude practice. All they need to do is consider each prompt and then fill in the blanks. The goal is to identify at least three things in each category they are thankful for. Then have them share.
Have children choose three people in their lives who have treated them with kindness or consistently made them feel seen and heard. Then invite them to write a thank you note to each of the people they’ve chosen. The notes should include three ways in which the person made them feel loved or cared for and three ways in which they learned something about gratitude due to the person’s kindness.
Ask the students to send these notes via email, mail, or in-person with their parents’ help.
Teaching gratitude to kids helps them recognize what thankfulness feels like and looks like, as well as how it can improve the lives of those who give it and receive it. Gratitude is a powerful tool in teaching children that they can recognize beauty and kindness in the world and offer it to others.
Soul Shoppe’s mission is to create safe environments that bring forth a culture of compassion, connection, and curiosity. Our innovative, interactive, and highly effective social emotional learning programs give parents, homeschoolers, teachers, and corporations important lifelong skills. Our online programs include the Peacemakers Program, Respecting Differences, Tools of the Heart, and more.
