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Bullying can be one of the most devastating experiences of a child’s life. Studies have shown that there are several negative effects of bullying that impact everyone involved, including the child on the receiving end as well as the child who does the bullying behavior. (MentalHealth) Bullying can have long-lasting, detrimental effects on a person’s self-esteem and general emotional well-being.
The reality is that most classroom settings can make bullying difficult to monitor and counteract. Students in a classroom outnumber their teachers, often thirty-to-one. Simple math makes it clear how hard it is for a teacher to even know about every instance of bullying behavior, let alone have the capacity to intervene. Therefore, being proactive can help mitigate the issue before trouble starts.
It’s important for teachers to recruit their students into a classroom-wide anti-bullying effort.
Anti-Bullying Activities for the Classroom
The fundamentals of teaching anti-bullying include (GSE):
Encourage students to be part of the solution. Children often rise to the occasion when they’re invited to do so.
Have honest conversations about the effects of bullying. For children, awareness of the consequences of their actions will help them make more empathic decisions.
Find opportunities to strengthen community and friendship. Stronger community ties help children both avoid bullying behaviors themselves and feel like they have choices when it comes to doing something about bullying when it occurs.
Use role playing. Learning through role play helps children use their imaginations and provides the opportunity to experience life in someone else’s shoes for empathy and understanding. It also involves problem-solving in many scenarios which helps prepare them for challenging social encounters.
Reinforce positive behavior. Children often look for reinforcement. Providing clear reinforcement of positive behavior through acknowledgment, rewards, etc. helps children to evolve.
These principles can be incorporated into anti-bullying activities.
Anti-bullying activities give students the chance to develop and practice the skills of empathy, fairness, and kindness. These activities will create a foundation for conversations about bullying and help children learn how to take care of each other.
Here are a few ideas for anti-bullying activities for elementary students to get started.
Anti-bullying Activities
Tube of Stuff Activity
The purpose of this activity is to demonstrate that actions have consequences that can’t be taken back. It’s appropriate for small children in kindergarten or first grade.
In this activity, children are given a tube of paint or toothpaste and a long roll of butcher paper. Children take turns squeezing the contents of the tube in a long line. When the tube is empty, they will be asked to put the paint or toothpaste back into the tube.
The teacher can then explain that what we say is like that paint or toothpaste. You can’t take things back. (MeraKilane)
Pledge Activity
Providing children with chances to take ownership of their actions creates opportunities for growth. Children, if given the chance, will often rise to the occasion if they’re asked to act with integrity.
Teachers can create an anti-bullying pledge that their students all sign. This helps show students that what they do matters. It also creates buy-in when implementing an anti-bullying classroom culture.
Gamify Kindness
Giving positive reinforcement for acts of kindness helps students feel excited about being kind to their fellow classmates. It also creates a precedent for children to carry kindness outside of the classroom, and into adulthood.
If educators create positive feedback loops for their students to receive small rewards for acts of kindness, it can help encourage a culture of kindness.
Create an “Acts of Kindness Chart”:
Acts of kindness receive gold stars.
Multiple acts of kindness within a specified period might lead to a classroom celebration.
Kids might play “I spy” to report acts of kindness that they see each other carry out.”
Compliment Circle
This activity turns the practice of kindness into an interactive game. Have students sit in a circle. Students take turns saying something complimentary to every member of the classroom. Depending on the age group, encourage students to go beyond superficial compliments such as “I like your shoes,” to more meaningful compliments such as “You are always nice on the playground.” Go around the circle until everyone has had a chance to compliment the entire class.
Reading Books
Find reading lists that include books about understanding bullying and what to do about it. (WeAreTeachers) Books are some of the best ways for children to think through complicated social and emotional situations like bullying. Then, through questions and guided conversation, children can talk through solutions.
Anti-bullying through Social and Emotional Learning
At Soul Shoppe, we use social and emotional teaching techniques to help educators and parents. It’s important for all students to see the classroom as a safe place. Our Peacemaker Training teaches educators how to build anti-bullying environments in schools. Contact us with questions about creating anti-bullying activities for the classroom.
Whether you’re a student, teacher, or in another profession, self-awareness is a skill we must all cultivate. For children, specifically, it can be used as a management tool to help them evaluate their own mental and emotional well-being.
When we teach children how their thoughts, values, and emotions interact with and affect their behaviors, they’re equipped with the ability to assess their strengths and weaknesses accurately (Positive Action). When children begin to understand themselves, their confidence, drive, and desire to succeed increase.
Currently, the World Health Organization lists self-awareness as one of the top 10 life skills that promote well-being across cultures (WHO). Other critical skills include:
This article will explain self-awareness and the two main types of self-awareness skills that are most helpful for children. In addition, we include five ways to teach self-awareness skills to kids.
What is Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is characterized by the ability to look inward and clarify our values, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses. It allows us to evaluate whether our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors align with our values. When they don’t, we can improve our behavior through self-correction. When they do, we experience the pleasure of cognitive consonance, which reinforces the agreement between our actions and values.
Additionally, when we are self-aware, we can understand our effect on others. If we are negatively impacting those around us, we can adjust our behaviors. Conversely, we can continue behaviors that serve others well and benefit our relationships.
Self-awareness also leads to accurately determining how others perceive us. This crucial understanding helps children develop self-esteem.
Each facet of self-awareness helps children develop appropriately throughout their lives.
Types of Self-Awareness Skills
There are two different types of self-awareness: public and private.
Private self-awareness relates to how we reflect on ourselves internally.
People who have a strong sense of private self-awareness are conscious of their thoughts and feelings. When they feel some ambiguity concerning their beliefs, they can use mindfulness skills to cultivate greater self-awareness.
Private self-awareness is associated with higher job and relationship satisfaction and relief from anxiety, stress, and depression (HBR). Children who experience private self-awareness can maintain a state of peace within themselves by being present and noticing thoughts and feelings objectively. One example of this self-awareness includes being aware that you tense up during phone calls and then choosing cognitive behavioral actions to release that tension (BetterUp).
The second type of self-awareness is public self-awareness.
Public self-awareness relates to our ability to notice how we appear to others. By developing a strong sense of interpersonal consciousness, we can help strengthen our work relationships and job prospects. We can do this by adjusting our behaviors and appearance to adhere to social norms and behave in socially expected ways (BetterUp).
There is, of course, a balance between being aware of what others think and worrying too much about others’ perceptions. The key to a healthy amount of self-awareness lies in our ability to recognize our strengths and challenges accurately.
Benefits of Self-Awareness Skills
There are many benefits to self-awareness. Some of the most common are listed below:
We build stronger relationships and communicate more effectively
Our self-esteem grows as we learn who we are and how others perceive us
We are more likely to receive promotions and to hold leadership positions
We are less likely to lie, cheat or steal
We tend to be more effective leaders with more satisfied employees (HBR)
We enjoy an improved sense of control
We experience freedom from biases and assumptions (BetterUp)
Self-Awareness Activities for Kids
We can help children develop self-awareness. Here are some easy activities you can implement into your students’ or children’s daily routines to enhance their self-awareness:
Have students keep a thought diary. They can record their feelings, thoughts, and emotions, as well as their emotional reactions to unexpected or significant events. (Positive Psychology)
Write a regret letter. Your student can write to her former self about any regrets she may be harboring, and forgive herself for making mistakes. This develops self-awareness and self-love.
Have students write a list of things they like about themselves. For example, “I am artistic” is perfect for younger students. Push harder for older students. Encourage them to list at least five things.
Have students create a goal they would like to reach within one year. Then, ask students to write down the steps they need to attain the goal. Afterward, encourage students to draw a picture of themselves succeeding. Revisit this project and celebrate the students who tried or succeeded at the end of the year.
Break students into small groups (no bigger than three). Have each student identify their strengths. Students can practice their listening skills and build confidence and cohesion within the group.
There are a plethora of ways to teach self-awareness skills. Whether you are teaching or parenting younger children or older students, Soul Shoppe also offers several courses and resources on this topic.
Self-regulation is a vital skill for social, academic, and physical success. Read to learn self-regulation strategies and self-regulation activities to do at home or school.
What Is Self-Regulation?
Self-regulation is the ability to control one’s thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. This control is for the purpose of achieving long-term goals. It includes the ability to manage impulses and emotions without being overwhelmed. For example, self-regulation includes dealing with frustration or excitement in appropriate ways. Children are taught this skill in order to cope with strong emotions and to work towards a goal.
It is important that adults teach this skill. According to Duke University, “…supporting self-regulation development early in childhood is an investment in later success because stronger self-regulation predicts better performance in school, better relationships with others, and fewer behavioral difficulties.” Although this skill takes practice and patience while learning, the results are well worth it.
In this article, we will explore self-regulation milestones and list self-regulation strategies. Lastly, we’ll provide self-regulation activities that are easy to implement.
Self-Regulation Developmental Milestones
Learning self-regulation is an essential component of childhood development. Young babies communicate through crying to express feelings and thoughts. They are unable to regulate their emotions. When babies reach 12-18 months of age, they begin to become aware of social demands. As a result, they develop the ability to change their behavior with parental assistance. Parents can redirect their children and comfort them. This ability improves as children reach 2 years of age. Children start developing self-control even when parents aren’t around. In addition, they show an increased ability to follow behavioral norms. By 3 years of age, most children have some self-regulation strategies. Children are then able to build on past experiences, known as scaffolding, to improve their self-regulation (Child Development).
Self-Regulation Components
There are essential stepping stones in developing self-regulation. Children learn these building blocks over time:
Thinking before acting
Staying focused on a goal
Remaining calm when they feel upset
Paying attention and avoiding distractions
Patience- learning to wait for what they want
Cooperating with others
Adapting to change
Following social norms, even when they don’t like them
These self-regulation stepping stones help children develop into happy, healthy individuals, so they can succeed not only academically, but in life.
Self-Regulation Strategies
Teaching self-regulation strategies to children involves both the caregiver and the child. This is because the caregiver must model the strategies, as well as manage their own stress. When caregivers or teachers are overly stressed, it’s more difficult to demonstrate self-regulation skills.
Children will need adequate sleep and nutrition while learning these strategies. They’ll also need plenty of time for outdoor play. A warm, loving environment provided at home and at school will help children through the process.
Strategies include:
Reading books about feelings or different experiences. They can be discussed and used as learning examples.
Engaging in social learning lessons to improve social skills, communication, and vocabulary
Teach self-love with mantras and positive sayings (Foothills Academy)
Keep everything grade appropriate and focus on giving positive reinforcement. For example, “I like how Jorge was sitting quietly and focusing on finding objects around the room!” This type of compliment is much more effective than saying, “Good job!” Giving detailed feedback helps children learn and motivates other children to try their best as well.
3rd-6th Grade
Create a feeling toolbox with an empty shoebox and 3×5 cards. Take 2-3 minutes to discuss a new feeling every day. Then have students write that emotion on their 3×5 card and decorate it with a picture of that feeling. Students can look through the boxes at any time to discuss how they feel. It can also include comfort items, such as ribbons, stones, sensory items, stress balls, journals, and more. (Nebraska Dept of Ed.)
Charades with triggers. Pick a feeling and then have the adult act out the situation that could trigger the feeling. Then have the child guess the situation. Afterward, reverse roles. (Nebraska Dept. of Ed.)
Provide a “cool down” area where children can go to self-regulate when they are emotional and overwhelmed. This area can have coloring pages, books, pen and paper, and more (Edutopia).
Check-in and check out. Check-in can be rolling or tossing a ball in a circle and taking turns. Students tell classmates something they did recently or share their own news. To check out, students tell others about what they liked or disliked about the day. (Nebraska Dept. of Ed.)
Read stories to teach self-awareness. Bring attention to events in the book where characters are dysregulated, and discuss how they could self-regulate. Ask questions at the end of the book about how well the characters coped with difficult situations (Penn State).
Teach children about their brain and how it responds to stressful stimuli. In addition, teach how the brain can self-regulate. By showing children how the process works, they can better understand why it is important to develop these skills. Also, it shows them their ability to regulate themselves (Foothills Academy).
Social support (asking for help, peer groups, family or teacher connections)
Grounding activities (deep breathing, slow counting, grounding exercise- 5 things they can see, 4 things they can hear, 3 things they can feel, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste). (Pearson)
Teachers and caregivers should give positive reinforcement for self-regulating behaviors. Similarly, refraining from punishing children who are trying to learn these skills is important. Children will make mistakes. Just be sure to evaluate them appropriately and follow through on classroom rules. Lastly, be sure to model the behavior that you wish to see. Children often learn through seeing and then perform a similar behavior. Be consistent and children will learn quickly!
6th-12th Grade
Have students journal each day. Students will choose a situation to write about. Instruct them to express the situation in detail. Additionally, they should write how the situation made them feel and how they coped with that feeling. If the situation was positive, have them think about how that success made them feel. This helps with the reflective process (Positive Action).
Daily or weekly check-in. Have students sit in a circle and roll a ball to a student that has not had a turn. Students can share news about themselves or their families or something they did recently (Nebraska Dept. of Ed.)
Play feeling detective: Have students teach adults about kids. Pick a feeling and ask kids to share ideas about how we can tell when students are feeling that way. What do they do with their bodies? What are their minds thinking about? What would they want to say? (Nebraska Dept. of Ed).
Teach progressive muscle relaxation. It has the ability to help treat anger and aggression in adolescents. In addition, it helps soothe the body and provide relief (Edutopia).
Have students set goals for themselves. They could be goals for academics, life, or that year. The goals should be reachable. Students and teachers quickly conference about the goals before they are written down. This helps students assume responsibility for themselves and builds self-efficacy. (Vanderbilt)
Teenagers should have the opportunity to practice self-regulation skills. Because they are older, they will have developed some skills and should be able to implement them with success. Continue reinforcing positive self-regulation skills and give specific praise. Also, students of this age group should be given more opportunities to use self-regulation activities on their own.
At some point in our childhoods, most of us have been bullied. If not bullied ourselves, we’ve witnessed someone else getting bullied. Some of us have even been the bully. So how can we say “there’s no such thing as a bully”? It’s a radical proposition, and it’s one of the core assumptions we make at Soul Shoppe.
Over the years, we’ve had many opportunities to interact with children who were identified as bullies. When we were able to get beneath the behavior, to really connect with them, we saw every time that there was a need not getting met. Something was going on – a parent was ill, parents were divorcing, violence in the environment – there was a lack of safety and security or some overwhelming event. Children who have to navigate these situations may feel isolated, misunderstood, afraid and lonely. The bullying behavior meets a small piece of their need, even if it’s in a negative way. They get attention. They have power. Their actions matter. Or maybe it just feels good to have someone else feel afraid and upset too.
When we look underneath any bullying situation, there is always a young person with big feelings and they don’t know what else to do. They have emotions they don’t know how to manage. Bullying is a symptom of a bigger problem, never the root of the problem. And those big emotions didn’t start with them.
There’s no such thing as a bully. There is only a kid who is hurting and needs support. When we label a child a “bully,” we make their behavior define who they are. We start to look at and interact with them as if THEY are the problem, instead of addressing the behavior and where it’s really coming from. Changing how we view the behavior is one of the ways we can stop bullying at its roots. We can give kids tools, time and space to manage their emotions. We can show them how to listen to and have empathy for one another.
Our Free To Be assembly is a great way to introduce these practices into schools. Educators who want to deepen their anti-bullying and community-building practices can get a few ideas here. And finally, check out Soul Shoppe founder vicki! Abadesco’s Tedx Talk to find out what happened when one class “bully” was given a chance to be heard.
Over the next 8 weeks, Soul Shoppe is partnering with DropLabels.org to help raise awareness about the impact that labeling has on people. Every week, DropLabels.org will post a video with a Soul Shoppe staffer who tells their own story about labels. Personal stories like the ones you’ll hear in the coming weeks are an integral part of Soul Shoppe workshops.
Telling your story is important. It can help start a conversation or even start a process of healing. Someone hearing your story might be inspired to speak up, too. Check out this week’s story here.
Got Soul Shoppe?
Are you thinking about bringing Soul Shoppe’s award winning programs to your school? Get in touch! Contact us for more information or to book for the 2018-19 school year. Find out what others have to say about the impact our programs have had.
Spread the message of empathy and understanding! We can create a Big-Hearted Revolution by voting for vicki! Abadesco to speak at Wisdom 2.0. It is more than a talk. It is an EXPERIENCE!
vicki! is one of the Founders of Soul Shoppe, a non-profit focused on teaching social-emotional learning and conflict resolution in elementary and middle schools. Through Wisdom 2.0, vicki! will give leaders and changemakers the Soul Shoppe interactive, immersive experience.
Give Wisdom 2.0 conference goers the EXPERIENCE of EMPATHY. Understand what is blocking us from treating each other with kindness and compassion every day.
