Naming Feelings: Helping Kids Find the Words They Need

Imagine being overwhelmed, frustrated, or sad—but not having the words to say why. For many children, this is a daily reality. Learning to name feelings is one of the most important steps in helping kids build emotional awareness and self-regulation. When kids can name their emotions, they begin to understand them—and that opens the door to emotional growth, empathy, and healthy communication.

In this article, we’ll explore the importance of naming feelings, offer strategies and activities to build emotional vocabulary, and connect you with resources like our Feelings Poster, Tools of the Heart program, and other Elementary SEL curricula, which support social emotional learning in the classroom and beyond.

Why naming feelings matters

Emotions are part of every experience—but children don’t always know how to express them. Without words, emotions can show up as outbursts, withdrawal, or challenging behavior. But when we support kids in naming their emotions, we help them feel seen, heard, and empowered to take the next step—whether that’s calming down, asking for help, or making amends.

Helping children name the feeling is not about labeling or limiting them—it’s about shining a light on what’s happening inside so they can work with it instead of feeling controlled by it.

Emotional vocabulary and self-regulation

Research shows that children with a stronger emotional vocabulary are better able to regulate their behavior, resolve conflicts, and navigate social situations. Knowing whether they feel “disappointed” instead of just “mad,” or “embarrassed” instead of “sad,” gives kids more specific insight into their needs.

This process—sometimes called “name it to tame it”—helps activate the thinking part of the brain and reduces the overwhelm that can accompany big emotions.

Start with a simple list of emotions

Children need exposure to a wide range of emotional vocabulary beyond happy, sad, and mad. You can use a list of emotions or a visual like the Feelings Poster to introduce terms like:

• Frustrated
• Nervous
• Excited
• Confused
• Lonely
• Grateful
• Embarrassed
• Hopeful
• Calm

Over time, kids can expand their vocabulary and begin using more nuanced words that reflect what they’re feeling inside. It’s important to note the difference between feelings and emotions. Emotions can be unconscious or conscious, whereas feelings are the subjective experience of those emotions.

Activities that support naming emotions

Incorporating naming emotions activities into your classroom or home routine helps build emotional fluency naturally in engaging ways. Here are a few ideas:

1. Feelings check-in

Start each day by asking students to point to or name a feeling they’re experiencing. Use visuals like the Feelings Poster. This can especially help non-readers.

2. Name the emotion game

Create cards with different facial expressions or scenarios. Ask kids to name your emotions based on the context. You can even use emojis or images from storybooks.

3. Journaling or drawing feelings

Invite students to draw or write about how they felt during a particular moment in their day. This builds the connection between emotions and reflection.

4. Emotions charades

Have children act out different feelings while others guess. This is a fun and non-threatening way to explore new words and behaviors associated with emotions.

Tools that help kids express emotions

Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart offers a full toolkit of emotional regulation strategies. These tools help children:

• Pause before reacting
• Recognize how their body feels during strong emotions
• Use words to express themselves clearly
• Choose actions that match their values

As one of our Elementary SEL curricula, these tools support students in developing not just emotional awareness—but emotional wisdom.

To support this learning at home or school, explore our guide on how to express your feelings in words, which provides more insight into translating emotion into language.

Encouraging children to name their feelings out loud

One of the most powerful ways to normalize emotional expression is to model it. Adults can help by naming their own emotions in real time, such as:

• “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”
• “I’m excited about our project today—it’s something I really enjoy.”

This shows children that emotions are normal and manageable—and that there’s no shame in having or naming them.

Naming your emotions is the first step to managing them

Children don’t always know what they’re feeling—but they do feel it. Giving them the language to say, “I’m disappointed” instead of acting out allows them to move through their emotions with more clarity and confidence.

By consistently practicing and modeling this skill, we help children become more attuned to their inner world and more empathetic toward others. That’s the foundation of strong relationships, successful learning, and healthy development.

When students can name their feelings, they’re one step closer to managing them.

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Guiding Kids’ Online Empathy: Bridging the Digital Divide

As more of our children’s social lives unfold in digital spaces—text threads, classroom platforms, gaming apps, and social media—the need for online empathy is more urgent than ever. The same skills we teach face-to-face—kindness, perspective-taking, and emotional awareness—need to carry over to online spaces.

But how do we teach compassion and connection when body language, tone, and real-time reactions are often missing? This article explores practical strategies to help children bridge the gap between real-world and digital interactions and offers tools to support teaching empathy in every environment.

Why Online Empathy Matters

The internet gives kids incredible opportunities to connect, learn, and express themselves—but without guidance, it can also become a space for disconnection, miscommunication, or harm. Practicing empathy online is about more than being “nice.” It’s about teaching children how to consider other people’s experiences, recognize emotional cues, and respond with care, even from behind a screen.

Empathy online means slowing down before hitting “send,” reading between the lines, and pausing to ask: How might my words affect someone else?

That kind of reflective behavior doesn’t always come naturally, but it can be learned.

What Is Online Empathy?

Online empathy is the ability to understand and be sensitive to the emotions and experiences of others in digital interactions. Whether replying to a friend’s comment or engaging in a group project online, children who develop this skill are more likely to foster healthy digital relationships.

While face-to-face empathy often relies on facial expressions and body language, online empathy asks children to tune in more intentionally to written tone, timing, and context. Teaching these skills helps kids avoid misunderstandings, cyberbullying, or emotional withdrawal from peers.

Building Online Empathy in Kids

Here are simple ways to teach empathy in kids that extend into their digital lives:

1. Make Emotions Visible

Online, emotions can be easily misinterpreted. Encourage students to use words to express how they feel clearly. Phrases like “I felt hurt when…” or “I’m really excited about…” create space for open and respectful conversation.

Use the Feelings Poster as a tool for helping kids build emotional language that can be used offline and online.

2. Model Empathy Yourself

Whether you’re responding to an email or sharing feedback in a virtual classroom, show what it means to respond with compassion. Name the feeling before correcting the behavior. Validate the child’s experience even when setting boundaries.

Modeling is the most powerful empathy training we can offer.

3. Practice Digital Role-Playing

Explore online empathy scenarios by acting out digital conversations with your students. What happens when someone is left out of a group chat? How might you respond to a classmate who shares a tough experience in a forum?

These exercises function like an online empathy map, helping students consider multiple perspectives and possible reactions before engaging.

Teaching Empathy Through Soul Shoppe Tools

Soul Shoppe’s programs offer interactive ways to help children explore empathy, both in the classroom and beyond:

• Tools of the Heart: This SEL curriculum includes emotional regulation practices that prepare kids to manage reactions before responding online.
• Respect Differences: This curriculum teaches inclusion and understanding—key foundations for online and offline respect.

These tools give children the foundation to not just know what empathy is, but live it out.

Teaching Compassion in the Classroom and Online

Whether in person or online, teaching compassion to a child begins with naming what we see and feel. Here are some classroom activities that can build empathy across environments:

• Empathy circles: Invite students to share how they’d feel in different scenarios, including online ones.
• Gratitude emails or messages: Encourage students to send a kind note to someone in their class or family.
• Digital kindness walls: Use a shared space (like a Jamboard or classroom bulletin) where kids can write affirmations or supportive messages.

Games and resources like online empathy games can help reinforce positive digital behavior in fun and interactive ways.

When Does Empathy Fully Develop?

While studies show that empathy in children begins in early childhood, it continues developing into adolescence. Kids may show varying levels of emotional awareness and empathy depending on age, temperament, and experience.

This is why consistency matters. Whether you’re guiding a second grader through an argument on a classroom iPad or helping a fifth grader understand sarcasm in a text, every moment is a chance to build stronger empathy muscles.

If you’re wondering how to measure growth, tools like the child empathy test or journaling exercises can help assess how students are recognizing and responding to others’ emotions over time.

Supporting All Students—Not Forcing Extroversion

Keep in mind: not every student will express empathy in the same way. Quiet students may internalize more. Neurodiverse learners may struggle with social cues. That’s okay.

By using strategies from social emotional learning, teachers can differentiate their approach and help every child grow at their own pace. What matters most is that children feel safe, seen, and supported as they learn to care for themselves and each other.

Empathy Is a Skill, Not a Trait

Some people think you’re either born empathetic or not, but the truth is, empathy is a skill that grows with practice. That’s especially true for kids navigating digital spaces, where emotional nuance can be hard to spot.

By teaching online empathy in the same intentional way we teach reading or math, we help kids become better digital citizens and better human beings.

It starts with small moments: pausing to think before posting, offering support instead of judgment, listening deeply—even across a screen.

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What to Do When Big Emotions Take Over

Every child experiences big emotions—those moments when feelings become so intense they feel overwhelming. These experiences are part of growing up, and they’re not something to “fix” or “avoid.” Instead, they’re opportunities for growth. With the right tools, guidance, and emotional support, children can learn how to process big emotions in healthy ways, transforming those tough moments into powerful learning experiences.

This article explores calming strategies, emotional processing techniques, and practical ways adults can support children when those big feelings surface.

Understanding Big Emotions in Children

Big emotions might include frustration, fear, sadness, excitement, anger, or joy. While emotions are a natural part of life, it’s often the intensity or expression of these feelings that can seem difficult to manage, for both kids and the adults supporting them.

It’s helpful to distinguish between feelings and emotions. Feelings are our conscious experiences of emotional states, while emotions are instinctive responses that arise before we even know what’s happening. Teaching children about emotions gives them the vocabulary to name what’s happening inside them. This is the first step toward managing those responses.

Teaching children about emotions helps them pause and reflect rather than react. Through social emotional learning (SEL), children begin to understand the big 5 emotions—joy, sadness, anger, fear, and love—and how these show up in their bodies and behaviors.

Why Emotional Processing Matters

When children don’t have the tools to process their emotions, they may act out, withdraw, or struggle to focus. This doesn’t mean they’re “misbehaving.” It means their emotions are too big for them to manage alone.

Supporting a child unable to control emotions starts with empathy. Instead of rushing to correct behavior, adults can get curious: What might this child be feeling? What need is going unmet?

Managing emotions for elementary students is about creating emotional safety. Kids are more likely to open up when they feel heard, not judged.

Teaching Kids to Recognize and Name Their Emotions

One of the most powerful things adults can do is help children recognize and name what they’re feeling. This skill—called emotional literacy—is foundational to self-regulation.

Some tools and resources that support this include:

• The Feelings Poster – a visual that helps students name their emotions with words instead of behaviors.
• The Tools of the Heart – Soul Shoppe’s core emotional regulation curriculum is designed for elementary school students.
• The Elementary SEL curriculum – Multiple courses that offer step-by-step guidance to teach emotional awareness, empathy, and healthy expression of feelings, and how to interact with the world around them.

Calming Strategies for Big Emotions

Every child is unique, so it helps to offer a variety of calming strategies. When big emotions rise, here are several activities that can support self-regulation:

1. Movement Breaks

Simple stretches or jumping jacks help shift energy and release tension. Movement activates the body in a way that can support emotional release without words.

2. Breathing Exercises

Teaching mindful breathing gives children a tool they can access anytime. Try the “Smell the flower, blow out the candle” method or introduce them to Soul Shoppe’s Empty Balloon exercise.

3. Quiet Corners or Sensory Spaces

Create a calm-down space with soft seating, fidget tools, sensory bottles, or coloring materials. These managing feelings and behavior activities help kids process without pressure. To learn more about creating a peace corner, click here.

4. Journaling or Drawing

Some kids may prefer to write or draw what they’re feeling rather than speak it aloud. Journals or drawing sheets provide a safe outlet for self-expression.

5. Guided Visualization or Music

Listening to calming sounds or participating in a short visualization exercise can help students re-center during emotionally heavy moments.

When Big Emotions Disrupt the Classroom

Big emotions don’t always wait for the “right time” to show up. A child may experience a meltdown in the middle of math or burst into tears during lunch. Instead of seeing this as a problem, shift the perspective to an opportunity for connection.

What teachers can do:

• Pause and make space for the emotion.
• Validate what the student might be feeling: “It looks like you’re feeling really frustrated right now.”
• Offer choices: “Would you like to take a few breaths or visit the peace corner?”
• Reconnect later when the child is regulated.

These approaches model emotional intelligence and show students that big feelings are okay and manageable.

Integrating SEL Throughout the School Day

Supporting big emotions isn’t just about one-off interventions. The most lasting impact comes from integrating social emotional learning across the school day.

Here are a few ideas:

• Start the day with a morning meeting to check in on feelings.
• Practice calming techniques as a class before big transitions.
• Use storytime to explore emotional scenarios and reflect on them together.
• Celebrate emotional growth and personal wins, not just academic success.

Creating these habits sends a powerful message: emotions belong in the classroom, and kids are safe to be themselves.

When to Get Extra Support

While all kids experience big emotions, some may need additional support to regulate. If a student seems persistently overwhelmed, it may be helpful to involve a school counselor or refer families to managing emotions resources that align with SEL values.

What’s most important is that no child feels alone in what they’re feeling.

Supporting Adults, Too

Teaching SEL isn’t just for kids—it starts with the adults. If you’re a teacher, caregiver, or school leader, remember that your calm presence makes a big difference.

Tools like Tools of the Heart and other Elementary SEL curricula include guidance, not only for students but for the adults helping them navigate big feelings.

Emotions as Messengers, Not Enemies

The goal of teaching children about emotions isn’t to get rid of the tough ones. It’s to create space for them—to honor their messages and teach students how to respond with care.

When we treat big emotions as something to listen to, not something to fear, we empower kids to grow into emotionally strong, compassionate people.

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Building Confidence In Kids: Confidence From The Inside Out

Confidence doesn’t come from being the best. It comes from knowing we can try, grow, and handle whatever comes our way. Building confidence in kids starts by helping them recognize their own inner strength, not because they always succeed, but because they learn from every experience. In the classroom, at home, and in peer relationships, confidence can blossom when children are encouraged to celebrate effort, character, and progress.

Why Confidence Matters

Confidence gives kids the courage to speak up, try new things, take healthy risks, and recover from mistakes. When children believe in themselves, they’re more likely to engage in learning, navigate social situations, and persevere when things get challenging.

But true confidence is not about perfection. It’s about resilience, self-trust, and the ability to move forward with compassion for oneself. This mindset is especially vital when supporting children who experience child anxiety and low self-esteem, or struggle with setbacks.

Teaching Confidence: What it Really Looks Like

Teaching confidence means more than giving compliments. It means creating an environment that shows children they are valued for who they are and what they try, not just for what they achieve.

Here are some approaches that help:

• Celebrate effort, not just outcomes: Praise hard work, creativity, and perseverance.
• Encourage reflection by asking questions such as “What did you learn from that?” or “How did you solve that problem?”
• Model self-compassion: Let students see adults handle mistakes with kindness.
• Reframe failure: Show that trying and not succeeding is part of the learning process.
• Use confidence-building activities for kids: Group games and classroom routines can help kids develop a sense of identity and connection.

Try using the You’re Amazing Poster as a daily reminder in your classroom or home space. This visual tool helps kids recognize positive character traits in themselves and others.

How to Help a Child with Low Self-Esteem

Children with low self-esteem may be quiet, withdrawn, overly self-critical, or reluctant to try new things. Support these students by:

• Giving them leadership roles in low-stakes settings.
• Listening actively without judgment.
• Creating small wins: Help them succeed in tasks that match their current abilities.
• Teaching calming strategies to manage anxiety and self-doubt.

When you’re wondering how to build self-confidence in a child, start by acknowledging their feelings and strengths. Offer consistent encouragement and structure while avoiding comparisons with peers.

Confidence-Building Activities for Kids

Confidence-building activities for groups and individuals should focus on strengths, collaboration, and reflection. Some examples include:

• “Strength Circles”: Have kids name one thing they like about themselves.
• “Compliment Chains”: Create a chain where each student says something kind about the next.
• Role-playing challenges: Practice common social or academic situations where confidence is needed.
• Peer teaching: Let students teach each other something they know well.

Explore more engaging confidence-building activities for kids in Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL curriculum, which weaves confidence and emotional growth into every lesson.

How to Build Confidence in a Child at School

Schools can support confidence by creating inclusive, emotionally safe environments. Some key strategies include:

• Promoting growth mindset language: Avoid labeling kids as “smart” or “bad at” something. Instead, highlight growth.
• Empowering through choice: Let kids make decisions about their learning process.
• Recognizing all types of success: Celebrate academic, creative, emotional, and interpersonal milestones.

Teaching perseverance is deeply connected to confidence. Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart curriculum gives kids real-world practice in understanding emotions, staying motivated, and building self-trust.

How to Explain Confidence to a Child

Confidence means believing in yourself. One way to explain it to kids is: “Confidence is like a voice inside you that says, ‘I can try!’ even if something feels hard.”

Use metaphors that make sense to them, like:

• “Confidence is like a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it gets.”
• “Confidence is like a flashlight—it helps you see your way when things feel dark or confusing.”

You can also explore child self-esteem activities that support these ideas. Journaling, drawing, and sharing stories about overcoming challenges all support a child’s understanding of self-worth.

SEL and Confidence Go Hand-in-Hand

At Soul Shoppe, we believe that social emotional learning (SEL) lays the foundation for confidence. SEL gives kids the tools to identify emotions, practice self-awareness, and express themselves with clarity and respect. Through SEL, students learn:

• How to name their feelings
• How to recognize strengths in themselves and others
• How to recover from setbacks with courage and care

Explore more through Soul Shoppe’s full suite of social emotional learning tools and programs, including:

• Tools of the Heart
• You’re Amazing Poster
• Elementary SEL curriculum options

Final Thoughts

Confidence built from the inside out is lasting and empowering. When we help kids see their strengths, try new things, and embrace who they are, we give them a foundation that will carry them far beyond childhood.

Whether you’re a teacher, caregiver, or parent, your encouragement and guidance matter. With intentional strategies, meaningful conversations, and engaging tools, you can nurture confident, resilient kids who believe in their ability to grow and thrive.

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