As children grow into their voices and identities, they start to test how they can communicate their needs. In these moments, it’s important to help them understand the difference between assertiveness vs. aggressiveness. While both may appear confident on the surface, they carry very different intentions and impacts.
At Soul Shoppe, we believe that teaching students to express themselves respectfully and clearly is essential for building inclusive classrooms and lifelong social-emotional skills. Let’s explore how to support students in speaking up, without overpowering others.
What is the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness?
Children often confuse being assertive vs. aggressive, especially when they’re learning how to stand up for themselves. At a glance, both behaviors might seem like forms of speaking boldly. But understanding the difference between aggressive and assertive behavior helps students learn how to express their needs while also showing respect for others.
| Behavior |
Definition |
Focus |
Impact |
| Assertiveness |
Clear, respectful communication of one’s thoughts and needs |
Self-respect and mutual respect |
Builds trust, encourages collaboration |
| Aggressiveness |
Forceful, sometimes hurtful expression that violates others’ boundaries |
Control or dominance |
Causes fear, resistance, or conflict |
When children understand this distinction of aggressive vs. assertive communication, they can practice it in real-life scenarios, especially when things get tense.
Teaching assertiveness in the classroom
Assertiveness is a skill, and like all skills, it needs to be taught, modeled, and practiced. Here’s how to begin:
1. Define it with age-appropriate examples
Give clear, relatable examples of what being assertive sounds like:
- “Please stop, I don’t like that.”
- “I’d like a turn when you’re done.”
- “I feel left out. Can I join you?”
Contrast this with aggressive phrases:
- “Stop it now or I’ll tell!”
- “Move! That’s mine!”
- “You’re being mean!”
Helping students reflect on the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness builds both empathy and self-awareness.
2. Use role-play and scenarios
Practice makes it real. Create assertiveness vs. aggressiveness role-play activities where students choose how to respond in common social situations. Let the class reflect on how each response feels, for both the speaker and the listener.
3. Model respectful expression
Students learn what they see. When adults calmly and clearly assert themselves, especially during moments of disagreement, students learn that respect and strength can go hand in hand.
Soul Shoppe tools that support assertiveness
We integrate assertiveness training into many of our social-emotional learning resources to help students express their needs and resolve conflict peacefully.
- Peace Path: This tool walks students through conversations about feelings, needs, and boundaries in a structured way, modeling respectful dialogue.
- Peacemaker Training: Designed to give educators and students alike the tools for assertive conflict resolution, this training empowers students to become community leaders.
- Elementary SEL curriculum: A foundation for teaching emotional intelligence, empathy, and effective communication in every classroom.
Each of these resources help students develop emotional literacy, build strong relationships, and speak up from a place of calm clarity.
Activities to practice assertive communication
Use these classroom activities to reinforce assertive vs. aggressive communication:
“Say It with Respect”
Give students sticky notes with different phrases and have them identify which are assertive and which are aggressive. Then, challenge them to rephrase the aggressive ones using assertive language.
Feelings & Needs Circles
Invite students to share a time when they had a need that wasn’t met. Use sentence starters like “I felt ___ because I needed ___.” This teaches kids how to express needs directly, a key part of assertiveness.
“Voice Volume” Meter
Use a visual scale (e.g., whisper, calm voice, shout) to help students monitor how they’re communicating. This helps them associate calm, firm speech with assertiveness.
Helping students navigate emotional triggers
Often, aggressive communication is a reaction to strong emotions like anger, embarrassment, or fear. When we address the emotion underneath, we can support students in shifting from reactivity to intention.
Here’s how to support that:
- Normalize big feelings and teach calming techniques before responding (like breathing or taking a moment).
- Encourage students to notice how their body feels when they’re upset—this is the first step to choosing how to respond.
- Validate the need or feeling while guiding them to a more respectful way of expressing it.
Soul Shoppe’s Social Emotional Learning programs help students build these self-awareness muscles over time.
Why it matters: long-term benefits of assertiveness
Children who learn to be assertive without being aggressive tend to:
- Form stronger friendships
- Set healthy boundaries
- Resolve conflicts more peacefully
- Feel more confident expressing their needs
These are lifelong skills. When we make space for this kind of learning in our classrooms, we’re not just reducing conflict—we’re cultivating future leaders who lead with integrity.
Final thoughts: teaching voice and respect
Helping students navigate assertiveness vs. aggressiveness is about more than classroom behavior. It’s about giving them the tools to honor themselves and others at the same time. By practicing respectful communication, learning to manage big emotions, and embracing self-expression, students grow into thoughtful, confident communicators.
Using tools like the Peace Path and programs like Peacemaker Training, we can teach assertiveness not as dominance, but as a balanced, respectful, and empowered voice.
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Learn From Mistakes
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools we can teach children, not as a rule they must follow, but as a skill they can develop. Teaching kids forgiveness gives them the emotional tools to move forward after conflict, disappointment, or hurt. When we approach forgiveness not just as a moral directive but as a healing practice, we open the door to empathy, accountability, and growth.
Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or excusing poor behavior. It’s about helping kids understand how to navigate complicated emotions, restore relationships, and continue building a supportive community. In this post, we’ll explore practical ways to begin teaching forgiveness and offer supportive strategies for what comes next, because forgiveness is only part of the journey.
Why teaching kids forgiveness matters
When a child feels wronged by a classmate, sibling, or even an adult, the emotional fallout can be confusing. They might hold onto resentment or feel unsure about how to respond. That’s where teaching forgiveness activities come into play.
Through object lessons on forgiveness, group discussions, and reflective practices, students begin to see forgiveness not as weakness but as strength. Forgiveness supports:
- Emotional regulation and healing
- Restoring peer connections after conflict
- Reduced classroom tension
- Growth in empathy and accountability
This is especially important in school settings where relationships are constantly forming, shifting, and sometimes breaking. A foundation in social emotional learning gives students the skills to manage these experiences thoughtfully.
Forgiveness is not a one-time event
Many children believe forgiveness means pretending something never happened. But when we take the time to explore how to teach kids forgiveness, we can model that forgiveness is a process—one that involves naming hurt, taking responsibility, and creating space to heal.
Forgiveness also doesn’t guarantee the relationship returns to what it was. And that’s okay. Children can learn to forgive and still set boundaries.
To help students walk through this process, educators can use the Peace Path, a simple yet effective tool that guides students through restorative conversations. It fosters accountability and makes space for forgiveness in an age-appropriate way.
Activities to teach forgiveness in the classroom
Looking for ways to incorporate activities to teach forgiveness into your daily classroom flow? Here are some ideas that gently introduce the concept and help students practice:
1. Forgiveness journal
Have students write about a time they felt hurt. What happened? How did they respond? How would they like to move forward? This activity builds emotional literacy and perspective-taking.
2. “Let it go” balloon activity
Inspired by Soul Shoppe’s Empty Balloon Exercise, students can write a hurt or grudge on a small piece of paper, place it inside a balloon, inflate it, and then pop it as a symbolic release.
3. Forgiveness craft
Create “forgiveness cards” with students—cards they can write when they’re ready to make amends or express forgiveness to a peer. These can be used voluntarily and kept private.
4. Games that teach forgiveness
Conflict resolution games—like role-playing apology and forgiveness scenarios—can help kids practice without the emotional weight of a real disagreement. Explore our full collection of activities through the Peacemaker Training, which gives educators a full toolkit for resolving conflict through empathy and repair.
Examples and scenarios: making forgiveness real
Here are a few forgiveness scenarios students may encounter:
- A friend says something unkind during recess.
- A peer refuses to share supplies during group work.
- Someone excludes them from a game or lunch group.
These may seem minor, but to students, they can feel deeply personal. Teaching forgiveness through real-life situations helps students process and respond in ways that maintain their emotional integrity.
By linking these moments to growth mindset and emotional regulation skills from our Elementary SEL Curriculum, students learn that relationships can mend—and even grow stronger—after rupture.
What happens after forgiveness?
After a child chooses to forgive—or is forgiven—there’s often still emotional residue. They may feel uncertainty, anxiety, or hope. Adults can help by naming this and supporting post-forgiveness healing.
Some things to remind students:
- Forgiveness is not approval of harmful behavior.
- It’s okay to take time before feeling ready.
- Setting boundaries after forgiveness is a healthy next step.
Adults can guide students through these stages using empathy tools, reflective writing, and gentle check-ins. And, of course, by modeling forgiveness in their own interactions.
Supporting forgiveness through Soul Shoppe
Forgiveness becomes more accessible when it’s part of the larger culture of the classroom. At Soul Shoppe, we believe in building schools where compassion and accountability go hand in hand. Our programs support this through:
- Peace Path: A structured framework for conflict resolution.
- Peacemaker Training: SEL-focused training that equips schools with tools to guide peer mediation and peaceful problem-solving.
- Social Emotional Learning: The foundation of our programs, designed to help kids understand emotions, build healthy relationships, and thrive.
By making forgiveness part of daily SEL practice, we prepare students to navigate life’s challenges with grace and connection.
Forgiveness is a skill for life
Teaching kids forgiveness isn’t just about fixing classroom conflicts. It’s about equipping young people with the tools to process hurt, express empathy, and rebuild trust throughout their lives. From a simple forgiveness craft to transformative conflict resolution practices, students thrive when they’re given the chance to understand forgiveness from a place of strength and choice.
With the right support, guidance, and tools like Soul Shoppe’s Peace Path and Peacemaker Training, students become not just more peaceful but more powerful, resilient, and connected.
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In every classroom, kids are learning more than math and reading. They’re learning how to be in community with others—how to take turns, share space, speak up, and sometimes, how to reach out even when it’s uncomfortable.
One of the most meaningful social-emotional lessons we can teach is how to include others, not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s hard. Whether students are navigating friendship cliques, peer pressure, or just unfamiliarity, they need tools and support to practice compassion and inclusion with courage.
In this article, we’ll explore how to build an inclusive classroom environment, how to talk about the importance of including others, and how to help students build the emotional resilience to extend kindness, even in moments of tension or discomfort.
Why Inclusion Isn’t Always Easy—for Adults or Kids
When we talk about inclusion, it’s important to name the reality: kids sometimes struggle to include others because they’re trying to figure out where they belong.
Exclusion might show up as:
- Ignoring someone different
- Leaving classmates out of games or group work
- Going along with a clique to avoid being excluded themselves
These behaviors don’t mean kids are unkind. They often mean they’re navigating their uncertainty and doing their best to fit in. That’s why creating inclusive cultures in classrooms means teaching not just the what of inclusion, but the how and the why.
What Is an Inclusive Learning Environment?
An inclusive learning environment is a space where every student feels valued, safe, and supported, regardless of their background, ability, identity, or experience. In these spaces:
- Differences are celebrated, not tolerated
- Students are taught to speak up for one another, not over one another
- Teachers model inclusive practices in how they speak, lead, and guide conflict
At Soul Shoppe, our work is rooted in inclusive classroom strategies that give children the language and tools to choose connection over division.
Values-Based Teaching: Including Others Starts from Within
When it comes to helping kids include others, it’s not just about changing behavior. It’s about growing character. That’s why we teach from a values-based approach—centering around empathy, responsibility, and kindness.
A few simple ways to root inclusion in your classroom values:
- Create a class agreement together that includes how you treat people who feel left out
- Talk openly about fairness, friendship, and listening across differences
- Share stories (real or fictional) where someone chose to include others, and what happened as a result
This builds an inclusive culture in schools from the inside out—not by rules, but by relationships.
Inclusive Strategies in the Classroom That Make a Difference
Ready to make it real for students? These inclusive strategies in the classroom are powerful starting points.
1. Practice Circle Time Conversations About Inclusion
Use open-ended questions like:
- “When have you felt left out? How did it feel?”
- “What’s something kind someone did for you that made you feel included?”
- “What can we do when we see someone sitting alone or being left out?”
This opens the door for vulnerability and empathy-building.
2. Model and Celebrate Moments of Inclusion
When you see students including others, name it out loud:
- “I noticed you invited her into your group. That shows kindness and leadership.”
- “You let him take a turn even though you didn’t know him well—that’s what community looks like.”
Naming these actions reinforces an inclusive classroom environment through affirmation, not correction.
3. Create Safe Ways for Kids to Speak Up
Sometimes, including others means standing up to a friend. Give students tools to navigate this through role-play and scripts like:
- “Let’s make room for them, too.”
- “I think we should all get a turn.”
- “I feel better when we don’t leave people out.”
This fosters peer-led inclusion and challenges peer pressure in healthy ways.
Activities to Help Kids Include Others
Try these simple classroom culture-building activities that focus on connection and collaboration:
- Partner Switch Ups: Regularly rotate seating or group work so students practice engaging with different classmates
- Compliment Chains: Pass a compliment from one student to the next, encouraging noticing and naming others’ strengths
- “Who’s Not Here Yet?” Game: In group games or class activities, ask students to scan the room and invite anyone not yet included
Each of these is a small but meaningful way to teach what it means to be part of a shared community.
Inclusion Is Emotional Work—SEL Helps Guide the Way
Choosing to include someone can take courage. That’s where social emotional learning makes the biggest impact. When students learn how to name their feelings, navigate discomfort, and care about others, inclusion becomes more than a rule—it becomes a natural response.
Programs like Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart teach emotional awareness and give students language for conflict, empathy, and communication. These tools create space for even the hardest conversations, like when a student feels left out or when a group realizes they have excluded someone unintentionally.
Creating the Culture, Every Day
Inclusion doesn’t happen in one lesson. It’s built day by day, in classroom routines, hallway greetings, partner projects, and recess choices.
When we teach kids how to include others—even when it’s uncomfortable—we’re showing them how to live their values. How to be brave and kind at the same time. How to shape a world that makes room for everyone.
And that starts with us.
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Every child will face a moment when they feel like giving up. Whether it’s struggling to solve a math problem, trying to make a new friend, or missing the mark on a goal they cared about, setbacks can feel heavy. And in those moments, what they need most isn’t pressure to push harder—it’s support, reflection, and encouragement to keep going.
That’s where teaching perseverance comes in. It’s not about powering through at all costs. It’s about helping kids recognize their feelings, reframe the challenge, and rediscover their inner strength, with guidance from the caring adults around them.
In this article, we’ll explore strategies for teaching perseverance to kids, offer activities and games to keep motivation alive, and share how Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL Curriculum, such as Tools of the Heart, supports students as they build resilience, one step at a time.
Why Perseverance Matters
When we discuss perseverance for kids, we’re talking about more than just grit. We’re talking about confidence, emotional stamina, and the belief that trying again is always worth it.
Through social emotional learning, students begin to understand that mistakes are part of learning and that effort is something to be proud of. The result? A generation of learners who feel empowered, not discouraged, by life’s challenges.
What Perseverance Looks Like in Real Life
To a student, perseverance might sound like:
- “I didn’t get it the first time, but I’ll keep trying.”
- “This is hard, but I can ask for help.”
- “I felt like giving up, but I took a break and came back to it.”
These small moments are huge—and they’re often sparked by a teacher’s patience or a classmate’s encouragement.
If you’re wondering how to encourage perseverance, it starts with recognizing it in everyday actions.
Teaching Perseverance in the Classroom
Let’s break it down into three pillars: mindset, motivation, and emotional support.
1. Reframe the Mindset
Kids sometimes believe that struggling means they’re not smart or capable. We can gently shift that mindset by introducing:
- Growth mindset language: “You can’t do it… yet.”
- Stories of perseverance: Share examples of perseverance for students, like athletes, artists, or inventors who failed before succeeding.
- Personal reflections: Talk about a time you struggled and what helped you keep going.
Encourage students to see challenges as part of the journey, not the end of it.
2. Coach the Emotion, Not Just the Behavior
When a student says, “I can’t,” don’t just cheer them on—listen. Name what they’re feeling. “It sounds like you’re frustrated because it’s not working yet.” This creates space for them to process their emotions and find their footing again.
Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart program gives students the language and self-awareness to pause, breathe, and regroup—essential steps for building resilience.
3. Set Small Goals
Big goals can feel overwhelming. Help students break them into steps:
- “What’s one thing you can try next?”
- “Who could you ask for help?”
- “Let’s focus on effort, not perfection.”
This builds momentum—and that’s what perseverance thrives on.
Activities on Perseverance
Looking to bring these ideas to life? Try one of these teaching perseverance activities designed for elementary students:
Perseverance Circle Time
Ask students to share a time when something was hard but they didn’t give up. Then reflect:
- What helped them keep going?
- How did it feel to succeed (or try again)?
This builds empathy and normalizes struggle as part of learning.
Puzzle Challenge
Break students into small groups and give each team a puzzle or challenge that’s just beyond easy. Let them practice patience, teamwork, and asking for help. This is one of our favorite perseverance team-building activities.
Games That Teach Perseverance
Try conflict resolution and perseverance games for kids that include trial and error, like timed building challenges or partner trust activities. Celebrate the process, not just the result.
How to Build Perseverance Every Day
Here are a few quick practices to weave into your routine:
- Morning mantra: Begin the day with affirmations like “I can do hard things” or “Mistakes help me grow.”
- Perseverance jar: Invite students to write about a time they persevered and read them aloud weekly.
- Anchor words: Let students create cards with reminders like “breathe,” “try again,” or “ask for help.”
These small habits reinforce a powerful message: We believe in you—even when things get tough.
Teaching Perseverance – Social Emotional Learning Brings Real Growth
Perseverance isn’t just about pushing through. It’s about knowing when to pause, how to ask for support, and how to keep going when things feel hard.
Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL curriculum, including Tools of the Heart, teaches students to name their feelings, find calm, and connect with their inner strength. That’s the heart of teaching perseverance to kids.
Keep the Door Open
When a child wants to give up, our first job isn’t to make them keep going—it’s to remind them they’re not alone. Then, step by step, we can help them rediscover their courage.
Whether through words of encouragement, classroom routines, or SEL strategies, teaching perseverance is one of the greatest gifts we can give. And it starts with one simple truth:
You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to keep going.
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Conflict is a natural part of growing up. Whether it’s a disagreement over sharing supplies, a miscommunication on the playground, or a clash of opinions in group work, students are constantly navigating relationships. But with the right tools and guidance, these moments can become powerful learning opportunities.
This is where educators and school staff play a vital role. Instead of stepping in to fix every disagreement, we can give students the tools to solve conflicts independently—building their confidence, empathy, and problem-solving skills.
In this article, we’ll explore practical, age-appropriate conflict resolution strategies for students, how adults can support without taking over, and how programs like Soul Shoppe’s Peacemaker Training, Tools of the Heart, and Planet Responsibility equip students to build peaceful, connected communities.
Why Conflict Resolution Belongs in the Classroom
When students learn to manage conflict early on, they’re not just solving problems—they’re developing lifelong skills:
✔ Listening with empathy
✔ Communicating clearly and kindly
✔ Taking responsibility for their actions
✔ Finding creative, respectful solutions
By nurturing conflict resolution in educational settings, we create classrooms that are not only calmer but also more connected.
Conflict Resolution Strategies for Elementary Students
Let’s walk through student-centered strategies that give kids the tools to navigate tough moments themselves, with adult support when needed.
1. Use a Step-by-Step Process
Teach students a simple, repeatable method for working through problems. Soul Shoppe’s “I Message” framework or Peace Path tools are great examples:
- Stop and breathe
- Say how you feel
- Say what happened (without blame)
- Listen to the other person
- Work together on a solution
This process is at the heart of our Peacemaker Training—a program that helps students take on leadership roles in resolving peer conflicts, with guidance from trusted adults.
2. Practice with Conflict Resolution Scenarios for Students
Role-playing is a powerful way to prepare students for real-life challenges. Try these conflict resolution scenarios for students:
- “Your partner didn’t do their part in a group project—what do you do?”
- “Two friends both want the same ball during recess—how can they solve it together?”
- “Someone made a joke that hurt your feelings—how can you tell them in a kind way?”
Walk through these with the class or in small groups, using role-play and reflection to build empathy.
3. Empower Students with a Mediation Role
Student conflict resolution becomes even more effective when students lead it. That’s why we train Peacemakers—students who learn how to teach mediation, guide peers through conflict, and model respectful behavior.
With guidance, students can even complete a student mediation agreement outlining what happened, what each person needs, and what steps they’ll take moving forward.
How Adults Can Support Without Taking Over
When students are in conflict, adults may feel the urge to step in and fix the problem. But with support and guidance, students can often work it out themselves. Here’s how to help:
Coach, Don’t Control
Instead of directing the conversation, ask questions that guide students toward solutions:
- “What do you think happened?”
- “How do you think they felt?”
- “What would be a fair way to move forward?”
Stay Neutral and Present
Avoid taking sides or assigning blame. Be a calm, supportive presence that reassures students they are safe and capable of working through the issue.
Model Reflective Listening
Demonstrate how to truly listen by reflecting what a student says:
- “So you’re feeling frustrated because…”
- “You wanted to play, but they didn’t hear you?”
Modeling these skills teaches students how to do the same for each other.
Integrating Conflict Resolution into Daily Classroom Life
Teaching classroom conflict resolution isn’t a one-time lesson—it’s a culture. Build it into your daily rhythm with these ideas:
Start the Day with a Check-In
Use feelings charts or morning circles to help students share what they’re carrying into the day.
Create a Classroom Agreement Together
Let students co-create the classroom norms. This builds ownership and a shared commitment to kindness and responsibility.
Play Conflict Resolution Games
Games help students build skills in a fun and low-pressure way. Try some conflict resolution games for kids—designed to encourage empathy, problem-solving, and collaboration.
Tools and Programs that Support Student-Led Conflict Resolution
Soul Shoppe offers structured programs that help embed conflict resolution strategies for students in a sustainable and meaningful way:
Peacemaker Training
Peacemaker Training is a whole-school model for how to resolve conflict in school—empowering students as peer mediators and providing staff with tools to guide peaceful resolution.
Tools of the Heart
Tools of the Heart is a social-emotional learning curriculum that teaches emotional awareness, communication skills, and self-regulation—all foundational for conflict management in schools.
Planet Responsibility
Planet Responsibility gives students a framework for understanding how their actions affect others and how they can take ownership and make things right. It’s about turning mistakes into meaningful growth.
Let Students Lead with Our Support
Conflict isn’t something to avoid—it’s something to grow through. With the right structures in place, strategies to resolve conflict, and trusted adults modeling compassion and respect, students become confident in their ability to navigate challenges.
By teaching conflict resolution strategies for students, we’re not just creating more peaceful classrooms—we’re shaping compassionate, courageous leaders.
Let’s give them the tools—and the trust—to lead the way. To learn more, contact us!
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The world can sometimes feel overwhelming—not just for adults, but especially for children. Whether it’s a natural disaster on the news, a loss in the family, or big changes at home, kids rely on the adults around them to help make sense of life’s hardest moments.
Talking about these experiences isn’t always easy, but when we hold space for honest, age-appropriate conversations, we give children a chance to feel heard, grounded, and supported.
At Soul Shoppe, we believe every moment is an opportunity for connection. This includes the tough ones. In this article, we’ll share gentle, SEL-informed guidance for how to talk to your child about difficult topics, from natural disasters to grief and beyond.
Why These Conversations Matter
When children face uncertainty or distress and don’t have the language or support to process it, their emotions can build up and show up in unexpected ways, like outbursts, anxiety, or withdrawal.
They may not ask directly, but they are listening. They’re watching how we react and what we say (or don’t say). By being present and honest in a developmentally appropriate way, we model emotional resilience and invite children into safe, supportive conversations.
A Gentle List of Tough Topics to Talk About
Below are some hard topics to talk about that children may experience or hear about in school, at home, or through the media.
- Natural disasters (e.g., earthquakes, wildfires, hurricanes)
- Violence in the news or community
- Death of a pet, loved one, or public figure
- Divorce or separation
- Illness or medical emergencies
- Big changes like moving or changing schools
- Environmental issues (e.g., climate change)
- Global conflict or war
Each of these can prompt big feelings, confusion, and questions, especially when they’re unexpected.
How to Talk to a Child About Difficult Topics
Let’s walk through a few ways to open up these conversations with care and connection.
1. Start with a Check-In
Before diving into any tough topic, create space to see how your child is already feeling. You might say:
- “Have you heard anything about what happened today?”
- “How are you feeling about everything?”
- “I noticed you’ve been quiet lately—want to talk?”
Children may not always have the words, but asking opens the door for connection.
2. Keep Language Clear, Honest, and Age-Appropriate
You don’t have to explain everything, but children do need clarity. Speak truthfully, using simple language that matches their developmental stage.
Example:
- For a natural disaster: “There was a big storm in the city next to us. People are helping to keep everyone safe.”
- For death: “That means their body stopped working, and they won’t come back. It’s okay to feel sad.”
Avoid overcomplicating or minimizing. Honesty, even in small doses, builds trust.
3. Reassure, Without Overpromising
Children want to know: Am I safe? Are the people I love safe?
- Offer comfort with facts: “We’re safe right now.”
- Remind them of the helpers: “There are so many people working to help others.”
And let them know it’s okay to have big feelings: “It’s normal to feel scared or sad about this.”
4. Let Emotions Have Space
Tears, silence, anger—these are all natural responses to stress or grief. Rather than rushing to “fix” the feeling, be a calm presence beside it.
- “It’s okay to cry. I’m here with you.”
- “You don’t have to talk right now. Just know I’m here when you’re ready.”
When navigating children and grief, know that it doesn’t follow a straight line. Some days will be heavy, others lighter. Keep the door open for ongoing conversations.
Examples of Difficult Topics in Real Life—and How to Talk Through Them
Here are a few real-world scenarios with sample language you can adapt:
A Natural Disaster on the News
“Something big happened, and lots of people are working hard to help. It might feel scary, but we’re safe here. Would you like to talk more about it or ask questions?”
When a Pet or Family Member Dies
“[Name] died, and that means we won’t see them again. It’s okay to feel sad or miss them. I miss them too. Want to remember a favorite story together?”
Divorce or Separation
“Things are changing, but what stays the same is how much we both love you. You’re not alone in this—we’ll go through it together.”
These conversations are hard, but they’re also deeply healing.
How Social Emotional Learning Supports Tough Conversations
SEL gives children the tools to name their emotions, regulate their bodies, and connect with empathy—skills that are essential during times of stress or change.
At Soul Shoppe, our social emotional learning programs, like Tools of the Heart, offer age-appropriate activities that help children build inner resilience.
Whether it’s learning to breathe through strong emotions, practicing kindness, or navigating peer conflict, SEL makes space for the kind of emotional growth that supports kids during life’s hardest moments.
Helpful Tips for Grown-Ups Navigating These Topics
Be okay with not having all the answers. Saying, “I don’t know, but we can find out together,” is powerful.
Limit overexposure to media. Curate age-appropriate news and take breaks when needed.
Use art, storytelling, or play to help kids express themselves.
Model emotional regulation. Let them see you take deep breaths, pause, or ask for help.
Check in later. Conversations around childhood stress or grief are ongoing—don’t make it a one-time event.
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
If a child is dealing with grief, fear, or ongoing distress, it’s okay to seek support.
- Speak with school counselors
- Share grief resources for students
- Reach out to community programs and educators trained in SEL
Even small steps—like a breathing exercise or a reassuring word—can mean everything to a child.
Be the Safe Place
Learning how to talk to your child about difficult topics isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being the steady, supportive presence children can trust.
By meeting kids with honesty, empathy, and calmness, you show them that even when the world feels big or uncertain, they are not alone.
And in that safe space, healing can begin.
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