Every child experiences big emotions—those moments when feelings become so intense they feel overwhelming. These experiences are part of growing up, and they’re not something to “fix” or “avoid.” Instead, they’re opportunities for growth. With the right tools, guidance, and emotional support, children can learn how to process big emotions in healthy ways, transforming those tough moments into powerful learning experiences.
This article explores calming strategies, emotional processing techniques, and practical ways adults can support children when those big feelings surface.
Understanding Big Emotions in Children
Big emotions might include frustration, fear, sadness, excitement, anger, or joy. While emotions are a natural part of life, it’s often the intensity or expression of these feelings that can seem difficult to manage, for both kids and the adults supporting them.
It’s helpful to distinguish between feelings and emotions. Feelings are our conscious experiences of emotional states, while emotions are instinctive responses that arise before we even know what’s happening. Teaching children about emotions gives them the vocabulary to name what’s happening inside them. This is the first step toward managing those responses.
Teaching children about emotions helps them pause and reflect rather than react. Through social emotional learning (SEL), children begin to understand the big 5 emotions—joy, sadness, anger, fear, and love—and how these show up in their bodies and behaviors.
Why Emotional Processing Matters
When children don’t have the tools to process their emotions, they may act out, withdraw, or struggle to focus. This doesn’t mean they’re “misbehaving.” It means their emotions are too big for them to manage alone.
Supporting a child unable to control emotions starts with empathy. Instead of rushing to correct behavior, adults can get curious: What might this child be feeling? What need is going unmet?
Managing emotions for elementary students is about creating emotional safety. Kids are more likely to open up when they feel heard, not judged.
Teaching Kids to Recognize and Name Their Emotions
One of the most powerful things adults can do is help children recognize and name what they’re feeling. This skill—called emotional literacy—is foundational to self-regulation.
Some tools and resources that support this include:
- The Feelings Poster – a visual that helps students name their emotions with words instead of behaviors.
- The Tools of the Heart – Soul Shoppe’s core emotional regulation curriculum is designed for elementary school students.
- The Elementary SEL curriculum – Multiple courses that offer step-by-step guidance to teach emotional awareness, empathy, and healthy expression of feelings, and how to interact with the world around them.
Calming Strategies for Big Emotions
Every child is unique, so it helps to offer a variety of calming strategies. When big emotions rise, here are several activities that can support self-regulation:
1. Movement Breaks
Simple stretches or jumping jacks help shift energy and release tension. Movement activates the body in a way that can support emotional release without words.
2. Breathing Exercises
Teaching mindful breathing gives children a tool they can access anytime. Try the “Smell the flower, blow out the candle” method or introduce them to Soul Shoppe’s Empty Balloon exercise.
3. Quiet Corners or Sensory Spaces
Create a calm-down space with soft seating, fidget tools, sensory bottles, or coloring materials. These managing feelings and behavior activities help kids process without pressure. To learn more about creating a peace corner, click here.
4. Journaling or Drawing
Some kids may prefer to write or draw what they’re feeling rather than speak it aloud. Journals or drawing sheets provide a safe outlet for self-expression.
5. Guided Visualization or Music
Listening to calming sounds or participating in a short visualization exercise can help students re-center during emotionally heavy moments.
When Big Emotions Disrupt the Classroom
Big emotions don’t always wait for the “right time” to show up. A child may experience a meltdown in the middle of math or burst into tears during lunch. Instead of seeing this as a problem, shift the perspective to an opportunity for connection.
What teachers can do:
- Pause and make space for the emotion.
- Validate what the student might be feeling: “It looks like you’re feeling really frustrated right now.”
- Offer choices: “Would you like to take a few breaths or visit the peace corner?”
- Reconnect later when the child is regulated.
These approaches model emotional intelligence and show students that big feelings are okay and manageable.
Integrating SEL Throughout the School Day
Supporting big emotions isn’t just about one-off interventions. The most lasting impact comes from integrating social emotional learning across the school day.
Here are a few ideas:
- Start the day with a morning meeting to check in on feelings.
- Practice calming techniques as a class before big transitions.
- Use storytime to explore emotional scenarios and reflect on them together.
- Celebrate emotional growth and personal wins, not just academic success.
Creating these habits sends a powerful message: emotions belong in the classroom, and kids are safe to be themselves.
When to Get Extra Support
While all kids experience big emotions, some may need additional support to regulate. If a student seems persistently overwhelmed, it may be helpful to involve a school counselor or refer families to managing emotions resources that align with SEL values.
What’s most important is that no child feels alone in what they’re feeling.
Supporting Adults, Too
Teaching SEL isn’t just for kids—it starts with the adults. If you’re a teacher, caregiver, or school leader, remember that your calm presence makes a big difference.
Tools like Tools of the Heart and other Elementary SEL curricula include guidance, not only for students but for the adults helping them navigate big feelings.
Emotions as Messengers, Not Enemies
The goal of teaching children about emotions isn’t to get rid of the tough ones. It’s to create space for them—to honor their messages and teach students how to respond with care.
When we treat big emotions as something to listen to, not something to fear, we empower kids to grow into emotionally strong, compassionate people.
You May Also Like:
Naming Feelings
Confidence doesn’t come from being the best. It comes from knowing we can try, grow, and handle whatever comes our way. Building confidence in kids starts by helping them recognize their own inner strength, not because they always succeed, but because they learn from every experience. In the classroom, at home, and in peer relationships, confidence can blossom when children are encouraged to celebrate effort, character, and progress.
Why Confidence Matters
Confidence gives kids the courage to speak up, try new things, take healthy risks, and recover from mistakes. When children believe in themselves, they’re more likely to engage in learning, navigate social situations, and persevere when things get challenging.
But true confidence is not about perfection. It’s about resilience, self-trust, and the ability to move forward with compassion for oneself. This mindset is especially vital when supporting children who experience child anxiety and low self-esteem, or struggle with setbacks.
Teaching Confidence: What it Really Looks Like
Teaching confidence means more than giving compliments. It means creating an environment that shows children they are valued for who they are and what they try, not just for what they achieve.
Here are some approaches that help:
- Celebrate effort, not just outcomes: Praise hard work, creativity, and perseverance.
- Encourage reflection by asking questions such as “What did you learn from that?” or “How did you solve that problem?”
- Model self-compassion: Let students see adults handle mistakes with kindness.
- Reframe failure: Show that trying and not succeeding is part of the learning process.
- Use confidence-building activities for kids: Group games and classroom routines can help kids develop a sense of identity and connection.
Try using the You’re Amazing Poster as a daily reminder in your classroom or home space. This visual tool helps kids recognize positive character traits in themselves and others.
How to Help a Child with Low Self-Esteem
Children with low self-esteem may be quiet, withdrawn, overly self-critical, or reluctant to try new things. Support these students by:
- Giving them leadership roles in low-stakes settings.
- Listening actively without judgment.
- Creating small wins: Help them succeed in tasks that match their current abilities.
- Teaching calming strategies to manage anxiety and self-doubt.
When you’re wondering how to build self-confidence in a child, start by acknowledging their feelings and strengths. Offer consistent encouragement and structure while avoiding comparisons with peers.
Confidence-Building Activities for Kids
Confidence-building activities for groups and individuals should focus on strengths, collaboration, and reflection. Some examples include:
- “Strength Circles”: Have kids name one thing they like about themselves.
- “Compliment Chains”: Create a chain where each student says something kind about the next.
- Role-playing challenges: Practice common social or academic situations where confidence is needed.
- Peer teaching: Let students teach each other something they know well.
Explore more engaging confidence-building activities for kids in Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL curriculum, which weaves confidence and emotional growth into every lesson.
How to Build Confidence in a Child at School
Schools can support confidence by creating inclusive, emotionally safe environments. Some key strategies include:
- Promoting growth mindset language: Avoid labeling kids as “smart” or “bad at” something. Instead, highlight growth.
- Empowering through choice: Let kids make decisions about their learning process.
- Recognizing all types of success: Celebrate academic, creative, emotional, and interpersonal milestones.
Teaching perseverance is deeply connected to confidence. Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart curriculum gives kids real-world practice in understanding emotions, staying motivated, and building self-trust.
How to Explain Confidence to a Child
Confidence means believing in yourself. One way to explain it to kids is: “Confidence is like a voice inside you that says, ‘I can try!’ even if something feels hard.”
Use metaphors that make sense to them, like:
- “Confidence is like a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it gets.”
- “Confidence is like a flashlight—it helps you see your way when things feel dark or confusing.”
You can also explore child self-esteem activities that support these ideas. Journaling, drawing, and sharing stories about overcoming challenges all support a child’s understanding of self-worth.
SEL and Confidence Go Hand-in-Hand
At Soul Shoppe, we believe that social emotional learning (SEL) lays the foundation for confidence. SEL gives kids the tools to identify emotions, practice self-awareness, and express themselves with clarity and respect. Through SEL, students learn:
- How to name their feelings
- How to recognize strengths in themselves and others
- How to recover from setbacks with courage and care
Explore more through Soul Shoppe’s full suite of social emotional learning tools and programs, including:
Final Thoughts
Confidence built from the inside out is lasting and empowering. When we help kids see their strengths, try new things, and embrace who they are, we give them a foundation that will carry them far beyond childhood.
Whether you’re a teacher, caregiver, or parent, your encouragement and guidance matter. With intentional strategies, meaningful conversations, and engaging tools, you can nurture confident, resilient kids who believe in their ability to grow and thrive.
You May Also Like:
Big Emotions
Self-Esteem Activities for Kids
Self-Esteem Group Activities
Not every student raises their hand first or eagerly volunteers to lead group work, and that’s perfectly okay. Introvert students bring a different kind of energy, one that’s thoughtful, observant, and often deeply creative. But in a classroom that rewards loud participation and quick thinking, these students can be easily overlooked.
Creating a learning environment where introverted students can thrive doesn’t mean changing who they are. It means recognizing their strengths, making space for their voices, and offering opportunities that don’t demand extroverted behavior in order to succeed.
Let’s explore how to support introverted learners with intention, care, and confidence.
Understanding Introvert Learners
Introversion isn’t shyness or social anxiety. It’s a personality trait rooted in how a person recharges and processes the world around them. Introverted learners often:
- Prefer small groups or independent work
- Reflect deeply before speaking
- Feel overstimulated by too much noise or chaos
- Excel in creative, structured, or analytical tasks
Understanding this introverted learning style helps educators avoid misinterpreting silence as disengagement. These students might not always raise their hands, but they’re listening, thinking, and processing in meaningful ways.
Creating a Classroom That Welcomes Quiet Voices
A supportive classroom culture gives introvert students space to contribute on their terms. Here are some inclusive strategies:
- Think time: Build in quiet moments for reflection after posing a question so students have time to process before answering.
- Written responses: Allow students to share ideas through journaling, sticky notes, or digital platforms instead of only verbal participation.
- Small groups or pairs: These allow for more meaningful conversation without the pressure of a large audience.
- Choice in participation: Let students choose how they show their understanding—through art, writing, one-on-one discussion, or presentations.
These shifts help all students, but they’re especially powerful for those who process internally, need time, and want to feel safe and seen.
Introvert Students and Self-Confidence
When quiet students are constantly nudged to “speak up” or “participate more,” it can send the message that who they are isn’t enough. Instead of pushing them toward extroverted behaviors, we can focus on building their confidence in ways that honor their nature.
This includes:
- Celebrating thoughtful contributions, not just loud ones
- Validating their strengths, like deep listening, empathy, and reflection
- Offering private praise or one-on-one encouragement
- Teaching that leadership comes in many forms, not just from the loudest voice
For ideas that build confidence in all students, including introverts, explore our Elementary SEL Curriculum that celebrates unique qualities in every child.
Social Emotional Learning Tools That Support Introverts
Social emotional learning (SEL) lays the groundwork for inclusion and confidence. Through SEL, students learn how to understand themselves, express their needs, and relate to others.
Some tools that support introverted learners:
-
- Tools of the Heart: Teaches emotional awareness and self-regulation in a way that resonates with all learning styles.
- Respect Differences: Teaches kids how to recognize all the things that make us unique, building up their self-esteem so they can show empathy and tolerance towards others.
- Planet Responsibility: Helps students learn that our actions and interactions have power, even seemingly small choices, and impact the world around us.
- Free To Be: An anti-bullying program that teaches kids to have empathy.
- The Empty Balloon: A calming activity that encourages mindfulness and reflection.
These tools aren’t about changing quiet students—they’re about giving them language and strategies to feel safe and capable just as they are.
Ideas for Daily Classroom Practice
Looking for ways to make your classroom more welcoming for introverts? Try:
- Silent morning meetings: Give students a calming start to the day with quiet journaling or breathing exercises.
- Choice boards: Offer a menu of activity types (written, spoken, creative) so students can choose what fits their energy and learning style.
- Introvert buddy system: Pair students for gentle collaboration, reducing the anxiety of big group tasks.
- Classroom agreements that emphasize respect for all communication styles, not just outgoing ones.
For even more inclusive ideas, check out our guide to building a Positive Classroom Culture.
Why This Matters
Supporting introverted students in the classroom isn’t about fixing something that’s broken—it’s about celebrating quiet strengths. When we create space for different ways of being, every student benefits. The classroom becomes a place of balance, empathy, and authentic expression.
Let’s remember: being quiet isn’t a weakness. It’s another way of showing up—and one that absolutely deserves to shine.
You May Also Like:
Building Confidence in Kids
Supporting Big Emotions
Routines for Kids
Every classroom is a microcosm of the wider world—a place where students with different backgrounds, experiences, and identities come together to learn and grow. When educators are intentional about teaching diversity in the classroom, they help create spaces where all students feel seen, valued, and safe to be themselves.
At Soul Shoppe, we believe inclusion begins with compassion, understanding, and a willingness to see each student’s unique brilliance. It’s not just about acknowledging what is diversity—it’s about celebrating it in action.
What is diversity?
When we define diversity in the classroom, we’re talking about more than race, ethnicity, or language—though it does include those differentiators. Types of diversity in the classroom also include:
- Learning styles and abilities
- Socioeconomic backgrounds
- Family structures
- Gender identities and expressions
- Neurodiversity
- Religious beliefs
- Life experiences
Cognitive diversity in the classroom—how students think, solve problems, and view the world—enriches discussion and opens up multiple pathways to learning.
Why is diversity in the classroom important?
The importance of diversity in the classroom goes beyond representation. Students who feel accepted are more likely to:
- Engage in class
- Feel confident expressing themselves
- Show empathy and collaboration
- Develop leadership and social skills
Studies also show that classrooms rich in diversity and education improve critical thinking and reduce bias. When children grow up learning in diverse environments, they carry those lessons into the world, building more inclusive communities as adults.
Simple, everyday ways to celebrate differences
You don’t need grand gestures to create a diverse classroom. It’s often the small, consistent actions that make the biggest impact. Here are practical ways to weave inclusion into daily routines:
1. Use inclusive language
From morning greetings to classroom directions, language matters. Celebrate students’ names and identities with care. This reinforces that everyone belongs.
2. Highlight diverse voices and stories
Representation in books, posters, and lessons helps students see themselves—and others—as part of the narrative. Use diversity in the classroom examples through literature, history, and media.
3. Encourage curiosity, not assumptions
Create a classroom where students feel safe asking respectful questions and exploring differences. Teach them to say, “Tell me more” instead of assuming they understand someone else’s experience.
4. Acknowledge holidays and traditions
From Lunar New Year to Juneteenth to Día de los Muertos, recognize and honor a wide range of cultural celebrations. Let students share how they and their families observe meaningful traditions.
Inclusion in the classroom through SEL
Social emotional learning (SEL) gives students the tools to practice empathy, resolve conflict, and build positive relationships—foundations of an inclusive learning environment.
Soul Shoppe’s Respect Differences program directly supports teaching diversity in the classroom. It encourages:
- Acceptance of others
- Curiosity over judgment
- A culture of shared responsibility
Likewise, our Elementary SEL curriculum Tools of the Heart integrates emotional intelligence, active listening, and perspective-taking into the everyday classroom experience. These lessons help nurture inclusive spaces where kindness and community thrive.
Explore more about our full approach to social emotional learning.
Activities to promote diversity in the classroom
Let students explore their identities, and the identities of others, through engaging, thoughtful activities.
Identity Shields
Have students create a personal “identity shield” showing the things that make them who they are—family, interests, heritage, and more. Discuss what makes each shield unique and special.
Story Circles
Encourage students to share stories about a time they felt different, or a time they learned something new about someone else. This activity builds empathy and understanding.
“I See You” Affirmations
End each week with students giving one another kind affirmations that reflect appreciation for differences. For example: “I noticed how you shared your culture during our project. That was brave and cool!”
Teaching diversity in a way that feels real
Sometimes, conversations about diversity in schools can feel abstract. What makes the biggest difference is when inclusion in the classroom becomes part of the culture, not just a topic for special months or lessons.
That means:
- Making space for every student’s voice
- Responding to exclusion with curiosity and learning, not blame
- Reflecting and adjusting when something isn’t working
- Involving families and community perspectives
The long-term impact of diversity in the classroom
A positive classroom climate grounded in diversity helps students thrive—not just academically, but emotionally and socially. They become:
- More self-aware
- Better communicators
- More capable of working with others from different walks of life
This is the impact of diversity in the classroom: a ripple effect that shapes how children see themselves, each other, and the world around them.
Final thoughts: A place where everyone belongs
Teaching diversity in the classroom isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, awareness, and the willingness to learn alongside your students.
At Soul Shoppe, we believe every child deserves to feel known and respected. Through programs like Respect Differences and Tools of the Heart, we help educators build classrooms where everyone belongs—and where every student grows into their full, unique self.
You May Also Like:
Supporting Introvert Students
As children grow into their voices and identities, they start to test how they can communicate their needs. In these moments, it’s important to help them understand the difference between assertiveness vs. aggressiveness. While both may appear confident on the surface, they carry very different intentions and impacts.
At Soul Shoppe, we believe that teaching students to express themselves respectfully and clearly is essential for building inclusive classrooms and lifelong social-emotional skills. Let’s explore how to support students in speaking up, without overpowering others.
What is the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness?
Children often confuse being assertive vs. aggressive, especially when they’re learning how to stand up for themselves. At a glance, both behaviors might seem like forms of speaking boldly. But understanding the difference between aggressive and assertive behavior helps students learn how to express their needs while also showing respect for others.
| Behavior |
Definition |
Focus |
Impact |
| Assertiveness |
Clear, respectful communication of one’s thoughts and needs |
Self-respect and mutual respect |
Builds trust, encourages collaboration |
| Aggressiveness |
Forceful, sometimes hurtful expression that violates others’ boundaries |
Control or dominance |
Causes fear, resistance, or conflict |
When children understand this distinction of aggressive vs. assertive communication, they can practice it in real-life scenarios, especially when things get tense.
Teaching assertiveness in the classroom
Assertiveness is a skill, and like all skills, it needs to be taught, modeled, and practiced. Here’s how to begin:
1. Define it with age-appropriate examples
Give clear, relatable examples of what being assertive sounds like:
- “Please stop, I don’t like that.”
- “I’d like a turn when you’re done.”
- “I feel left out. Can I join you?”
Contrast this with aggressive phrases:
- “Stop it now or I’ll tell!”
- “Move! That’s mine!”
- “You’re being mean!”
Helping students reflect on the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness builds both empathy and self-awareness.
2. Use role-play and scenarios
Practice makes it real. Create assertiveness vs. aggressiveness role-play activities where students choose how to respond in common social situations. Let the class reflect on how each response feels, for both the speaker and the listener.
3. Model respectful expression
Students learn what they see. When adults calmly and clearly assert themselves, especially during moments of disagreement, students learn that respect and strength can go hand in hand.
Soul Shoppe tools that support assertiveness
We integrate assertiveness training into many of our social-emotional learning resources to help students express their needs and resolve conflict peacefully.
- Peace Path: This tool walks students through conversations about feelings, needs, and boundaries in a structured way, modeling respectful dialogue.
- Peacemaker Training: Designed to give educators and students alike the tools for assertive conflict resolution, this training empowers students to become community leaders.
- Elementary SEL curriculum: A foundation for teaching emotional intelligence, empathy, and effective communication in every classroom.
Each of these resources help students develop emotional literacy, build strong relationships, and speak up from a place of calm clarity.
Activities to practice assertive communication
Use these classroom activities to reinforce assertive vs. aggressive communication:
“Say It with Respect”
Give students sticky notes with different phrases and have them identify which are assertive and which are aggressive. Then, challenge them to rephrase the aggressive ones using assertive language.
Feelings & Needs Circles
Invite students to share a time when they had a need that wasn’t met. Use sentence starters like “I felt ___ because I needed ___.” This teaches kids how to express needs directly, a key part of assertiveness.
“Voice Volume” Meter
Use a visual scale (e.g., whisper, calm voice, shout) to help students monitor how they’re communicating. This helps them associate calm, firm speech with assertiveness.
Helping students navigate emotional triggers
Often, aggressive communication is a reaction to strong emotions like anger, embarrassment, or fear. When we address the emotion underneath, we can support students in shifting from reactivity to intention.
Here’s how to support that:
- Normalize big feelings and teach calming techniques before responding (like breathing or taking a moment).
- Encourage students to notice how their body feels when they’re upset—this is the first step to choosing how to respond.
- Validate the need or feeling while guiding them to a more respectful way of expressing it.
Soul Shoppe’s Social Emotional Learning programs help students build these self-awareness muscles over time.
Why it matters: long-term benefits of assertiveness
Children who learn to be assertive without being aggressive tend to:
- Form stronger friendships
- Set healthy boundaries
- Resolve conflicts more peacefully
- Feel more confident expressing their needs
These are lifelong skills. When we make space for this kind of learning in our classrooms, we’re not just reducing conflict—we’re cultivating future leaders who lead with integrity.
Final thoughts: teaching voice and respect
Helping students navigate assertiveness vs. aggressiveness is about more than classroom behavior. It’s about giving them the tools to honor themselves and others at the same time. By practicing respectful communication, learning to manage big emotions, and embracing self-expression, students grow into thoughtful, confident communicators.
Using tools like the Peace Path and programs like Peacemaker Training, we can teach assertiveness not as dominance, but as a balanced, respectful, and empowered voice.
You May Also Like:
Teaching Children About Reading Social Cues
Supporting Introvert Students
Building Confidence in Kids
Learn From Mistakes
