Challenging Behaviors in the Classroom: Understanding the “Why” And How To Shift Focus

Challenging Behaviors in the Classroom: Understanding the “Why” And How To Shift Focus

When students act out or withdraw, it can be easy to label their actions as misbehavior. But behind every challenging behavior is a deeper story—a need that isn’t being met or an emotion that’s difficult to express. As educators and caregivers, the opportunity is not in reacting with punishment, but in responding with curiosity, connection, and tools that nurture emotional growth.

This is the heart of social emotional learning, and the shift it encourages in how we view challenging behaviors in the classroom. This shift can change lives, both for students and for the educators who guide them.

 

What are challenging behaviors?

Challenging behaviors can take many forms: defiance, outbursts, shutting down, refusal to participate, aggression, or even excessive silliness. While some challenging behavior examples may appear disruptive, others are more subtle but still indicate a need for support.

The key is recognizing that these behaviors are communication.

Whether a child is feeling overwhelmed, unheard, unsafe, or simply dysregulated, their behavior is often the visible signal of something deeper happening within.

 

From control to connection: Reframing the response

Traditional discipline methods often focus on control—timeouts, detentions, or rewards and consequences. These strategies may suppress behavior in the short term, but they don’t address the root cause.

Shifting to a connection-based approach means we start by asking: Why is this behavior showing up right now?

Curiosity opens the door to understanding, while connection provides the safety kids need to learn new skills. This doesn’t mean excusing the behavior, but rather guiding students through it with compassion, boundaries, and tools for self-regulation.

 

How to deal with challenging behaviors in the classroom

challenging behaviors

Here are practical ways to shift your approach to managing challenging behaviors:

1. Lead with empathy

Before responding, pause. Ask yourself what the child might be feeling or needing. A regulated adult helps regulate the child.

2. Name the emotion

Help students identify what they’re feeling. “You seem frustrated. Do you want to talk or take a break?” Naming emotions helps kids develop emotional literacy.

3. Offer choice

When students feel powerless, giving small, meaningful choices can restore a sense of control in healthy ways.

4. Use connection tools

Use community agreements, check-ins, and mindfulness tools like Tools of the Heart to reconnect students with their values and calm their nervous systems.

5. Create safe spaces for regulation

A cozy corner, a peace table, or a sensory box can give students a place to cool down and return to the group when ready.

 

Understanding the roots: Why behaviors show up

Understanding how to handle challenging behavior in the classroom means tuning into the reasons these behaviors arise. Some common causes include:

  • Unmet needs (hunger, sleep, overstimulation)
  • Stress or trauma
  • Learning differences
  • Social struggles or a lack of skills
  • Feeling disconnected or misunderstood

By seeing challenging behaviors as signals rather than defiance, educators can respond with intention and help students build the skills they need to succeed.

 

Teaching through behavior: Opportunities for growth

Moments of dysregulation are also moments of opportunity. They’re a chance to teach:

  • Self-awareness (What am I feeling?)
  • Self-regulation (What can I do with this feeling?)
  • Empathy (How does my behavior affect others?)
  • Repair (What can I do to make things right?)

All of these are central components of social emotional learning and help lay the foundation for a safe and respectful classroom community.

 

Integrating SEL into your classroom culture

Proactive classroom management doesn’t mean stricter rules—it means deeper relationships and embedded SEL practices that meet kids where they are.

Some ways to make this part of your classroom:

  • Morning check-ins to build emotional awareness
  • Class meetings to talk about feelings, issues, and resolutions
  • Role-playing to practice challenging behavior examples and better choices
  • The Empty Balloon Exercise from our Tools of the Heart curriculum helps students learn emotional release

When students understand themselves and feel safe expressing big feelings, challenging behaviors in the classroom become less frequent and more manageable.

 

Support for educators and school communities

Responding to challenging behaviors with compassion and structure takes time and intention. But you don’t have to do it alone.

Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL curriculum includes tools and lessons that help educators integrate empathy-based strategies in their classrooms. These practices empower students to take responsibility, make repairs, and grow.

Learn more about how to build stronger relationships and safer spaces with social emotional learning.

 

Final Thoughts: The power of shifting focus

When a child’s behavior challenges us, it’s easy to feel stuck or frustrated. But by shifting from punishment to connection, from blame to curiosity, we meet children where they are—and help them rise.

Understanding how to deal with challenging behaviors in the classroom isn’t just about managing a moment. It’s about shaping a future where all students feel seen, safe, and capable of change.

How to Teach Kids to Include Others Even When It’s Hard

How to Teach Kids to Include Others Even When It’s Hard

In every classroom, kids are learning more than math and reading. They’re learning how to be in community with others—how to take turns, share space, speak up, and sometimes, how to reach out even when it’s uncomfortable.

One of the most meaningful social-emotional lessons we can teach is how to include others, not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s hard. Whether students are navigating friendship cliques, peer pressure, or just unfamiliarity, they need tools and support to practice compassion and inclusion with courage.

In this article, we’ll explore how to build an inclusive classroom environment, how to talk about the importance of including others, and how to help students build the emotional resilience to extend kindness, even in moments of tension or discomfort.

 

Why Inclusion Isn’t Always Easy—for Adults or Kids

When we talk about inclusion, it’s important to name the reality: kids sometimes struggle to include others because they’re trying to figure out where they belong.

Exclusion might show up as:

  • Ignoring someone different
  • Leaving classmates out of games or group work
  • Going along with a clique to avoid being excluded themselves

These behaviors don’t mean kids are unkind. They often mean they’re navigating their uncertainty and doing their best to fit in. That’s why creating inclusive cultures in classrooms means teaching not just the what of inclusion, but the how and the why.

 

What Is an Inclusive Learning Environment?

An inclusive learning environment is a space where every student feels valued, safe, and supported, regardless of their background, ability, identity, or experience. In these spaces:

  • Differences are celebrated, not tolerated
  • Students are taught to speak up for one another, not over one another
  • Teachers model inclusive practices in how they speak, lead, and guide conflict

At Soul Shoppe, our work is rooted in inclusive classroom strategies that give children the language and tools to choose connection over division.

 

Values-Based Teaching: Including Others Starts from Within

friends - how to include others even when it's hardWhen it comes to helping kids include others, it’s not just about changing behavior. It’s about growing character. That’s why we teach from a values-based approach—centering around empathy, responsibility, and kindness.

A few simple ways to root inclusion in your classroom values:

  • Create a class agreement together that includes how you treat people who feel left out
  • Talk openly about fairness, friendship, and listening across differences
  • Share stories (real or fictional) where someone chose to include others, and what happened as a result

This builds an inclusive culture in schools from the inside out—not by rules, but by relationships.

 

Inclusive Strategies in the Classroom That Make a Difference

Ready to make it real for students? These inclusive strategies in the classroom are powerful starting points.

1. Practice Circle Time Conversations About Inclusion

Use open-ended questions like:

  • “When have you felt left out? How did it feel?”
  • “What’s something kind someone did for you that made you feel included?”
  • “What can we do when we see someone sitting alone or being left out?”

This opens the door for vulnerability and empathy-building.

2. Model and Celebrate Moments of Inclusion

When you see students including others, name it out loud:

  • “I noticed you invited her into your group. That shows kindness and leadership.”
  • “You let him take a turn even though you didn’t know him well—that’s what community looks like.”

Naming these actions reinforces an inclusive classroom environment through affirmation, not correction.

3. Create Safe Ways for Kids to Speak Up

Sometimes, including others means standing up to a friend. Give students tools to navigate this through role-play and scripts like:

  • “Let’s make room for them, too.”
  • “I think we should all get a turn.”
  • “I feel better when we don’t leave people out.”

This fosters peer-led inclusion and challenges peer pressure in healthy ways.

 

Activities to Help Kids Include Others

Try these simple classroom culture-building activities that focus on connection and collaboration:

  • Partner Switch Ups: Regularly rotate seating or group work so students practice engaging with different classmates
  • Compliment Chains: Pass a compliment from one student to the next, encouraging noticing and naming others’ strengths
  • “Who’s Not Here Yet?” Game: In group games or class activities, ask students to scan the room and invite anyone not yet included

Each of these is a small but meaningful way to teach what it means to be part of a shared community.

 

Inclusion Is Emotional Work—SEL Helps Guide the Way

Choosing to include someone can take courage. That’s where social emotional learning makes the biggest impact. When students learn how to name their feelings, navigate discomfort, and care about others, inclusion becomes more than a rule—it becomes a natural response.

Programs like Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart teach emotional awareness and give students language for conflict, empathy, and communication. These tools create space for even the hardest conversations, like when a student feels left out or when a group realizes they have excluded someone unintentionally.

 

Creating the Culture, Every Day

Inclusion doesn’t happen in one lesson. It’s built day by day, in classroom routines, hallway greetings, partner projects, and recess choices.

When we teach kids how to include others—even when it’s uncomfortable—we’re showing them how to live their values. How to be brave and kind at the same time. How to shape a world that makes room for everyone.

And that starts with us.

 

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How SEL Supports Neurodiverse Students

How SEL Supports Neurodiverse Students

Every student deserves to feel seen, valued, and understood. For neurodiverse students, this means being supported in ways that honor how they think, process, feel, and learn.

In a classroom that centers around social emotional learning (SEL), students aren’t asked to fit a mold—they’re invited to grow as they are. And for neurodivergent students, this kind of inclusive, emotionally aware environment can make all the difference.

This article explores how SEL can be adapted to support neurodiverse students and offers strategies for creating a neurodiverse classroom that’s welcoming, flexible, and deeply compassionate.

 

What Does Neurodiverse Mean?

Before diving in, let’s revisit the neurodivergent definition:

Neurodiversity refers to the natural variation in how human brains work. It includes people who are autistic, have ADHD, dyslexia, sensory processing differences, and more. In contrast, neurotypical describes those whose brains function in ways considered “typical” by societal standards.

In any classroom, there’s a blend of neurodiverse and neurotypical learners—each with their strengths, challenges, and ways of connecting with the world.

 

The Struggles of Neurodiverse Students in Traditional Classrooms

Many neurodiverse students experience obstacles in school settings not because they are incapable, but because the environment isn’t designed with them in mind.

Common struggles of neurodiverse students include:

  • Sensory overwhelm from lights, noise, or crowded spaces
  • Difficulty with rigid schedules or transitions
  • Challenges with social cues or group dynamics
  • Feeling misunderstood or unseen by peers or educators

These challenges can lead to anxiety, isolation, and disengagement—unless the classroom is structured to support their emotional and sensory needs.

 

How SEL Supports Neurodiverse Students

Social emotional learning gives all students the tools to recognize emotions, self-regulate, and navigate relationships. For neurodivergent students, it also offers the opportunity to:

  • Build self-awareness in a safe, validating way
  • Practice communication skills through modeling and repetition
  • Receive consistent emotional coaching
  • Access calming tools and predictable routines
  • Feel empowered, not “corrected”

Through programs like Tools of the Heart, educators can embed emotional literacy and empathy into daily life, not as an add-on, but as a foundation for inclusive connection.

 

Creating a Neurodiverse Classroom with SEL at the Center

teacher listening to student

A truly inclusive classroom doesn’t just allow for differences—it welcomes them. Here’s how to use SEL to create a neurodiverse classroom where everyone thrives.

1. Make SEL Multi-Sensory

Use visuals, movement, and audio to teach SEL concepts in a way that speaks to all learners.

  • Visual feeling charts and sensory toolkits
  • Breathing exercises with physical cues (like Soul Shoppe’s “Empty Balloon” strategy)
  • Role-playing to practice emotional responses

When SEL is accessible, it becomes a tool that’s not only effective but empowering for neurodivergent students.

2. Build Predictable Routines with Emotional Check-Ins

Consistency helps reduce anxiety and sensory overload. Create daily rhythms that include:

  • Morning check-ins (with verbal or nonverbal options)
  • Transition warnings and flexible breaks
  • Time to reflect or process through drawing, writing, or a quiet space

This routine supports both neurodiverse and neurotypical students, offering grounding for those who need structure and options for those who need space.

3. Normalize Emotional Coaching and Self-Regulation

Neurodivergent symptoms may include difficulty with impulse control or processing social cues. Rather than punishing these moments, SEL invites us to teach skills like:

  • Naming emotions without shame
  • Asking for space or help
  • Practicing calming strategies before reacting

These skills benefit the entire classroom and strengthen peer understanding.

4. Encourage Peer Empathy and Responsibility

Programs like Planet Responsibility help students understand that they all contribute to the classroom community—and that inclusion is an active practice.

Try:

  • Kindness interviews between classmates
  • Small group discussions on how we support one another
  • Reflection questions like, “How did we show respect today?”

This helps shift the culture from “accommodating” to celebrating difference.

 

The Role of Educators (and the Future of Special Education)

As more teachers embrace inclusive SEL strategies, the future of special education teachers is evolving. It’s no longer just about individualized support—it’s about creating classrooms where emotional tools and flexible frameworks are built in for everyone.

Collaboration with a neurodiversity consultant, inclusive curriculum planning, and SEL-infused environments help teachers meet students where they are and stretch the system to serve more children well.

 

Classroom Culture That Embraces Neurodiversity

To truly support neurodiverse students, we need more than checklists—we need connection. SEL helps create a classroom culture that says:
“You belong. Just as you are.”

This means:

  • Listening to the student’s voice
  • Offering choice and autonomy
  • Teaching emotional tools in every lesson
  • Valuing rest, repair, and regulation as much as academics

Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL Curriculum provides the structure, language, and resources to do just that—while centering dignity and connection in every step.

 

Supporting Every Mind, Every Day

Every brain is different—and every student deserves to feel like they matter. By using SEL to support neurodiverse students, we’re not only helping them succeed in school—we’re honoring the diversity that makes classrooms more thoughtful, compassionate places.

Because when students feel emotionally safe, they don’t just survive.
They thrive.

 

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When Kids Feel Like Giving Up: Teaching Perseverance with Heart

When Kids Feel Like Giving Up: Teaching Perseverance with Heart

Every child will face a moment when they feel like giving up. Whether it’s struggling to solve a math problem, trying to make a new friend, or missing the mark on a goal they cared about, setbacks can feel heavy. And in those moments, what they need most isn’t pressure to push harder—it’s support, reflection, and encouragement to keep going.

That’s where teaching perseverance comes in. It’s not about powering through at all costs. It’s about helping kids recognize their feelings, reframe the challenge, and rediscover their inner strength, with guidance from the caring adults around them.

In this article, we’ll explore strategies for teaching perseverance to kids, offer activities and games to keep motivation alive, and share how Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL Curriculum, such as Tools of the Heart, supports students as they build resilience, one step at a time.

 

Why Perseverance Matters

When we discuss perseverance for kids, we’re talking about more than just grit. We’re talking about confidence, emotional stamina, and the belief that trying again is always worth it.

Through social emotional learning, students begin to understand that mistakes are part of learning and that effort is something to be proud of. The result? A generation of learners who feel empowered, not discouraged, by life’s challenges.

 

What Perseverance Looks Like in Real Life

To a student, perseverance might sound like:

  •  “I didn’t get it the first time, but I’ll keep trying.”
  • “This is hard, but I can ask for help.”
  • “I felt like giving up, but I took a break and came back to it.”

These small moments are huge—and they’re often sparked by a teacher’s patience or a classmate’s encouragement.

If you’re wondering how to encourage perseverance, it starts with recognizing it in everyday actions.

 

Teaching Perseverance in the Classroom

teaching perseverance in the classroomLet’s break it down into three pillars: mindset, motivation, and emotional support.

1. Reframe the Mindset

Kids sometimes believe that struggling means they’re not smart or capable. We can gently shift that mindset by introducing:

  • Growth mindset language: “You can’t do it… yet.”
  • Stories of perseverance: Share examples of perseverance for students, like athletes, artists, or inventors who failed before succeeding.
  • Personal reflections: Talk about a time you struggled and what helped you keep going.

Encourage students to see challenges as part of the journey, not the end of it.

2. Coach the Emotion, Not Just the Behavior

When a student says, “I can’t,” don’t just cheer them on—listen. Name what they’re feeling. “It sounds like you’re frustrated because it’s not working yet.” This creates space for them to process their emotions and find their footing again.

Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart program gives students the language and self-awareness to pause, breathe, and regroup—essential steps for building resilience.

3. Set Small Goals

Big goals can feel overwhelming. Help students break them into steps:

  • “What’s one thing you can try next?”
  • “Who could you ask for help?”
  • “Let’s focus on effort, not perfection.”

This builds momentum—and that’s what perseverance thrives on.

 

Activities on Perseverance

Looking to bring these ideas to life? Try one of these teaching perseverance activities designed for elementary students:

Perseverance Circle Time

Ask students to share a time when something was hard but they didn’t give up. Then reflect:

  • What helped them keep going?
  • How did it feel to succeed (or try again)?

This builds empathy and normalizes struggle as part of learning.

Puzzle Challenge

Break students into small groups and give each team a puzzle or challenge that’s just beyond easy. Let them practice patience, teamwork, and asking for help. This is one of our favorite perseverance team-building activities.

Games That Teach Perseverance

Try conflict resolution and perseverance games for kids that include trial and error, like timed building challenges or partner trust activities. Celebrate the process, not just the result.

 

How to Build Perseverance Every Day

Here are a few quick practices to weave into your routine:

  • Morning mantra: Begin the day with affirmations like “I can do hard things” or “Mistakes help me grow.”
  • Perseverance jar: Invite students to write about a time they persevered and read them aloud weekly.
  • Anchor words: Let students create cards with reminders like “breathe,” “try again,” or “ask for help.”

These small habits reinforce a powerful message: We believe in you—even when things get tough.

 

Teaching Perseverance – Social Emotional Learning Brings Real Growth

Perseverance isn’t just about pushing through. It’s about knowing when to pause, how to ask for support, and how to keep going when things feel hard.

Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL curriculum, including Tools of the Heart, teaches students to name their feelings, find calm, and connect with their inner strength. That’s the heart of teaching perseverance to kids.

 

Keep the Door Open

When a child wants to give up, our first job isn’t to make them keep going—it’s to remind them they’re not alone. Then, step by step, we can help them rediscover their courage.

Whether through words of encouragement, classroom routines, or SEL strategies, teaching perseverance is one of the greatest gifts we can give. And it starts with one simple truth:

You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to keep going.

 

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Classroom Culture: What Makes a Peaceful and Welcoming Classroom?

Classroom Culture: What Makes a Peaceful and Welcoming Classroom?

Walk into any classroom, and you can feel the difference. Some rooms hum with trust, laughter, and learning. Others feel tense, disconnected, or uncertain. That feeling? It’s classroom culture—and it matters.

At its heart, building culture in a classroom creates safety. A space where every child feels seen, respected, and part of something bigger than themselves. It’s not built overnight. But with intention, community agreements, and meaningful connection, it becomes the foundation for everything else: learning, risk-taking, creativity, and kindness.

Let’s explore how we can create a peaceful and welcoming classroom, grounded in social emotional learning and respect for all.

 

What Is Classroom Culture, Really?

Our definition of classroom culture:
The shared values, norms, and behaviors that shape how people interact, feel, and grow together in a learning environment.

It’s the invisible thread that ties together your classroom management, student relationships, and the overall classroom climate. When it’s rooted in empathy, consistency, and student voice, it helps children feel emotionally safe—ready to learn, share, and thrive.

 

Why Classroom Culture Is Foundational to Learning

Before academic growth comes emotional safety. A strong classroom culture supports:


✔ Emotional regulation and respectful communication
✔ A sense of belonging and inclusion
✔ Student agency and ownership of learning
✔ Resilience when conflict or mistakes arise

When students trust their environment, they’re more willing to take risks, speak up, and support one another. That’s how we begin creating a positive classroom climate—through consistent care and community.

 

Core Elements of a Positive Classroom Culture

Let’s break it down into what you can see, feel, and co-create with your students.

1. Community Agreements Built Together

Rather than posting classroom rules, invite students to co-create shared values:peaceful classroom - classroom culture

  • What helps us feel safe and included?
  • How do we want to treat each other when things feel hard?
  • What helps us solve problems together?

This classroom values list can become an anchor point for class check-ins, conflict resolution, and reflection. It’s not just a poster—it’s a living document shaped by the group.

Related tool: Explore how Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart helps students develop the language and skills to communicate needs and repair conflict with compassion.

2. Respect and Empathy as Daily Practice

Respect isn’t a one-time lesson. It’s embedded in the tone of voice we use, the way we handle disagreements, and the opportunities we create for students to be heard.

Ways to practice:

  • Daily check-ins to acknowledge how students are feeling
  • Peer interviews to learn what classmates enjoy or struggle with
  • Celebrating diverse perspectives and lived experiences

Inclusive classroom culture grows from everyday kindness and understanding—not just big, structured lessons.

3. Consistent Routines with Flexibility and Heart

Predictability gives students emotional safety. At the same time, flexibility shows students that their needs matter. Finding that balance is what shapes a supportive classroom climate.

Tips:

  • Use visuals or rhythms to signal transitions
  • Allow students to pause, breathe, or ask for breaks when overwhelmed
  • Be clear about expectations, but compassionate with mistakes

Need inspiration? Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL curriculum offers adaptable routines for every classroom.

4. Trust-Building Activities That Help Student Voices Be Heard

Trust isn’t automatic—it’s built. And in the classroom, it grows through play, storytelling, and real listening.

Try these trust-building classroom activities:

  • “I Wish My Teacher Knew…” (anonymous or shared)
  • Compliment circles or “kindness shoutouts”
  • Partner storytelling about times students helped someone else

These simple moments build bridges—and remind students they matter.

 

Classroom Culture Activities That Make an Impact

Here are a few easy-to-integrate classroom culture activities to spark connection and create space for reflection:

Culture Walk

Invite students to walk around the room and stop at stations with prompts like:

  • “I feel most included when…”
  • “One thing I wish grownups knew…”
  • “Here’s what makes me feel brave…”

This fosters vulnerability and class empathy.

Games and Activities That Teach Emotional Awareness

Try Soul Shoppe’s quality tools for education, including SEL games that explore topics like:

  • Active listening
  • Emotional regulation
  • Conflict resolution
  • Team collaboration

See how these integrate into your positive classroom culture activities by connecting to our Planet Responsibility curriculum—an initiative designed to help students take ownership of their impact and role in the classroom community.

 

Bringing Social Emotional Learning into School Culture

It’s not just about the classroom—it’s about the entire school culture. When every adult models emotional intelligence, accountability, and compassion, we create ripple effects that reach every student.

Soul Shoppe’s programs are designed to support that journey—with curriculum like Tools of the Heart and school-wide practices that make SEL tangible, joyful, and meaningful.

 

Creating a Safe, Joyful Place to Learn

Strong classroom culture doesn’t require perfection. It simply asks for consistency, curiosity, and care. When we invite students to co-create the classroom experience, we give them ownership. When we model empathy and repair, we teach emotional strength.

And when we build together, every student gets to show up as their full self.

That’s the power of a peaceful, welcoming classroom.

 

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