Kindness isn’t just a one-time act. It’s a habit—a way of being that helps children build deeper connections, develop empathy, and create inclusive communities. Teaching kindness is one of the most powerful ways adults can shape not only a classroom, but a future.
In this post, we’ll explore how to go beyond random acts of kindness and instill consistent, internalized habits of compassion in children. We’ll also share resources and tools from our Elementary SEL curriculum, including Tools of the Heart, Planet Responsibility, Free to Be, and Respect Differences.
Why kindness needs to be taught—not assumed
While kindness comes naturally to many children in small doses, it’s not always second nature in challenging moments. Teaching kindness requires intention. It means helping children learn about empathy, what kindness looks like in different situations, and how to make it a habit—especially when it’s hard.
Without guidance, kids might rely on surface-level gestures like compliments or sharing supplies. But real kindness goes deeper. It includes:
- Recognizing someone else’s needs
- Taking action to support them
- Practicing emotional regulation and patience
- Speaking up or offering help, even when it’s inconvenient
By creating space to practice and reflect, we help children see kindness as a mindset—not just a moment.
How to teach kindness in the classroom and at home
Here are several ways to build a kindness-centered environment for children:
1. Model kindness consistently
Children learn from what we do more than what we say. Show compassion to others in your everyday interactions—hold space for someone’s feelings, offer a thoughtful gesture, or apologize sincerely when needed.
2. Make kindness visible
Create a classroom or household kindness wall. Use it to record everyday moments when someone helped, encouraged, or included another person. This helps reinforce the value of kind actions and builds community.
3. Incorporate daily reflection
Ask simple questions like:
- Who did you help today?
- How did someone make you feel seen?
- Was there a time you could have been kinder?
Reflection supports the internalization of kindness and helps children develop emotional awareness.
4. Use routines and rituals
Integrate kindness into morning meetings, closings, or transitions. Even a consistent ritual like “pass the kindness” circle time—where students say something kind about a peer—can build habit and connection.
Kindness activities for kids that go beyond random acts
Intentional kindness activities for kids help move the concept from theory to practice. Consider these ideas for school or home:
- Kindness scavenger hunt: Challenge kids to find ways to help five different people throughout the week.
- Kindness journal: Keep track of kind acts received and given. Have students write or draw their experiences.
- Compliment chain: Each student writes a genuine compliment to someone and passes it on. Watch the chain grow!
- Gratitude circles: Once a week, share something you’re grateful for about someone in the group.
You can also explore kindness games that build teamwork and empathy. Games like “Kindness Charades” or role-playing different scenarios help children practice kind responses in real time.
Teaching kindness through SEL-aligned tools
The Tools of the Heart program provides structured approaches for building emotional and relational skills. Tools like “Stop & Breathe” and “Peace Path” empower students to regulate their emotions, repair harm, and choose kind behavior—even in moments of frustration.
In addition, our Free to Be anti-bullying course helps children understand the emotional impact of their actions. It teaches empathy and responsibility as foundational components of kindness.
Programs like Respect Differences also play a key role in helping children understand how kindness extends beyond immediate relationships—it also means honoring people’s identities, cultures, and differences.
Creating a kindness-focused classroom culture
Kindness thrives in environments where inclusion, safety, and respect are woven into daily life. Here’s how to create a culture that supports kindness:
- Use inclusive language: Replace labels or judgments with curiosity and understanding.
- Celebrate diversity: Talk openly about what makes each person unique. Refer to Respect Differences for ways to do this.
- Set clear expectations: Build community agreements around kindness, and revisit them regularly.
- Address mistakes with compassion: When a student misses the mark, treat it as a teaching moment—not a failure.
Teaching kindness lesson plans
If you’re looking for structured guidance, teaching kindness lesson plans can help reinforce consistency across your curriculum. Look for plans that include:
- Discussion prompts for self-reflection and empathy
- Role-play scenarios for navigating real-life challenges
- Hands-on projects like letter writing or service activities
- Games to teach kindness that are developmentally appropriate and engaging
You can also integrate lessons from Planet Responsibility to help kids understand how kindness relates to community, environment, and their broader impact on the world.
Why consistency matters more than random acts
While a random act of kindness can brighten someone’s day, it’s the habit of kindness that truly transforms lives.
Kids need more than moments—they need repetition, reinforcement, and relationships that reflect kindness as a core value. When kindness is part of the routine—not a reward—it becomes part of their identity.
Over time, these small but powerful moments become the foundation for emotionally aware, inclusive, and resilient communities.
Kindness is a daily choice
Teaching kindness isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. By offering children the tools, language, and space to practice compassion regularly, we teach them how to live in connection—with themselves, with others, and with their communities.
Let’s move beyond teaching “nice” and start building real, lasting kindness—one thoughtful moment at a time.
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In a world that often feels fast-paced and unpredictable, children thrive on something simple: consistency. Routines for kids are more than just checklists or schedules—they are emotional anchors. Predictable routines provide children with a sense of safety, helping them regulate emotions, reduce anxiety, and build resilience.
In this post, we’ll explore how daily routines support emotional development, how routines differ from procedures and rules, and offer actionable ways to build supportive structure both at home and in the classroom. We’ll also connect these practices to social emotional learning, including our Tools of the Heart Elementary SEL curriculum.
Why do routines matter for kids?
At every developmental stage, routines help kids feel emotionally grounded. From morning wake-ups to classroom transitions, a daily routine creates a sense of what to expect, which in turn creates emotional safety. When children can anticipate what comes next, they feel more in control—and less overwhelmed.
The emotional benefits of routines:
- Reduces stress and anxiety: When children know what’s coming, it eases the mental load of uncertainty.
- Supports emotional regulation: Predictable structure helps reduce emotional outbursts and supports transitions.
- Fosters independence: Kids learn to manage their time, tasks, and expectations with increased confidence.
- Reinforces connection: Shared routines between parents, teachers, and students build trust and a sense of belonging.
Creating routines is one of the most foundational ways we support emotional wellness.
How to establish routines that stick
Whether at home or in school, establishing routines starts with clarity and consistency. Here are some strategies to help you create a child routine schedule that supports both structure and emotional health.
1. Use visual tools
For younger children or visual learners, try a child routine chart with pictures and simple labels. This visual cue helps children track what’s next and gives them a sense of ownership over the process.
2. Involve kids in the planning
When children help decide the order of tasks—like brushing teeth, packing a backpack, or choosing their reading time—they’re more likely to buy into the routine and feel empowered.
3. Keep it flexible, but predictable
Routines don’t have to be rigid. You can allow flexibility within a framework. For example, reading can happen after dinner or before bed, as long as it’s part of the evening rhythm.
4. Link new routines to existing ones
This strategy, called “habit stacking,” helps reinforce new patterns. For example: “After you hang up your backpack, that’s when we check the homework folder.”
Difference between routines and procedures
In the classroom, routines and procedures often go hand-in-hand—but they’re not the same thing.
- Routines are behaviors repeated consistently. Example: students entering quietly and starting a bellringer activity.
- Procedures are specific steps to complete a task. Example: the steps for turning in homework.
Understanding the difference between routines and procedures helps teachers clarify expectations and create a calm, emotionally supportive environment.
Routines vs. rules: What’s the difference?
While rules tend to focus on behavior management (e.g., “Keep hands to yourself”), routines focus on creating flow (e.g., “When we line up, we face forward and keep space between each other”).
Whereas rules tell students what not to do, routines offer guidance on how to do something effectively. This supports not only behavior but also confidence and community.
Classroom routines that build emotional security
Strong classroom routines help students settle into their learning environment and feel like they belong. Here are a few key categories that contribute to emotional grounding:
1. Classroom entry routines
Greeting students by name, offering a check-in question, or pointing to a “How Are You Feeling?” chart helps students shift into the learning mindset.
2. Routine classroom activities
Whether it’s morning meetings, journaling, or rotating classroom jobs, these recurring moments provide structure and stability.
3. Lesson opening strategies
Start lessons with a consistent rhythm. This could be a question of the day, a moment of quiet breathing, or a warm-up problem.
4. Lesson closure strategies
Give students a sense of completion by ending lessons with reflection. Ask, “What did you learn?” or use exit tickets to summarize.
These daily rituals don’t just support academics—they provide emotional containers for students to manage their energy, express feelings, and regulate behavior.
A sample daily routine of a school-going child
Here’s an example of a daily routine of a school-going child that emphasizes emotional grounding:
- 7:00 AM – Wake up and dress
- 7:30 AM – Eat breakfast and pack backpack
- 8:00 AM – Arrive at school and participate in classroom entry routine
- 9:00 AM – Core academics (with transitions marked by breathing breaks)
- Noon – Lunch and outdoor play
- 1:00 PM – Afternoon lesson and group project
- 2:30 PM – Closing circle and reflection
- 3:00 PM – Return home and snack
- 4:00 PM – Homework or creative play
- 6:00 PM – Dinner and family talk time
- 7:30 PM – Reading, bath, and bedtime wind-down
This structure creates emotional ease while still allowing space for creativity, exploration, and connection.
How Tools of the Heart supports routines
Tools of the Heart provides specific strategies for building emotional awareness into everyday routines. For example, “Take 5 Breaths” becomes a calming ritual for transitions. Or “Clean It Up” becomes a reliable step after mistakes or conflict.
Integrating these tools into routine classroom activities helps students internalize emotional regulation without it feeling like a separate “lesson.” Instead, it’s woven into how the classroom operates.
Routines and SEL: The bigger picture
Incorporating routines is an essential part of a larger social emotional learning approach. When students feel safe, seen, and supported through consistent routines, they’re more prepared to:
- Engage in learning
- Collaborate with peers
- Resolve conflict constructively
- Express their needs respectfully
Soul Shoppe’s Elementary SEL curriculum reinforces these connections between structure and emotional growth, giving teachers and families the tools they need to guide students from the inside out.
Building emotional resilience through structure
At its core, a routine is a promise. A promise that the adult world is safe, predictable, and steady. For children, that promise is deeply grounding.
Through daily routines, intentional planning, and tools that support emotional regulation, we give kids more than structure—we give them confidence. Confidence in themselves, in the people guiding them, and in their ability to navigate life’s ups and downs.
Even small rituals—a morning hello, a consistent cleanup routine, a breath before transitions—build emotional muscle. Over time, these habits create emotionally grounded, socially aware, and resilient learners.
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Imagine being overwhelmed, frustrated, or sad—but not having the words to say why. For many children, this is a daily reality. Learning to name feelings is one of the most important steps in helping kids build emotional awareness and self-regulation. When kids can name their emotions, they begin to understand them—and that opens the door to emotional growth, empathy, and healthy communication.
In this article, we’ll explore the importance of naming feelings, offer strategies and activities to build emotional vocabulary, and connect you with resources like our Feelings Poster, Tools of the Heart program, and other Elementary SEL curricula, which support social emotional learning in the classroom and beyond.
Why naming feelings matters
Emotions are part of every experience—but children don’t always know how to express them. Without words, emotions can show up as outbursts, withdrawal, or challenging behavior. But when we support kids in naming their emotions, we help them feel seen, heard, and empowered to take the next step—whether that’s calming down, asking for help, or making amends.
Helping children name the feeling is not about labeling or limiting them—it’s about shining a light on what’s happening inside so they can work with it instead of feeling controlled by it.
Emotional vocabulary and self-regulation
Research shows that children with a stronger emotional vocabulary are better able to regulate their behavior, resolve conflicts, and navigate social situations. Knowing whether they feel “disappointed” instead of just “mad,” or “embarrassed” instead of “sad,” gives kids more specific insight into their needs.
This process—sometimes called “name it to tame it”—helps activate the thinking part of the brain and reduces the overwhelm that can accompany big emotions.
Start with a simple list of emotions
Children need exposure to a wide range of emotional vocabulary beyond happy, sad, and mad. You can use a list of emotions or a visual like the Feelings Poster to introduce terms like:
- Frustrated
- Nervous
- Excited
- Confused
- Lonely
- Grateful
- Embarrassed
- Hopeful
- Calm
Over time, kids can expand their vocabulary and begin using more nuanced words that reflect what they’re feeling inside. It’s important to note the difference between feelings and emotions. Emotions can be unconscious or conscious, whereas feelings are the subjective experience of those emotions.
Activities that support naming emotions
Incorporating naming emotions activities into your classroom or home routine helps build emotional fluency naturally in engaging ways. Here are a few ideas:
1. Feelings check-in
Start each day by asking students to point to or name a feeling they’re experiencing. Use visuals like the Feelings Poster. This can especially help non-readers.
2. Name the emotion game
Create cards with different facial expressions or scenarios. Ask kids to name your emotions based on the context. You can even use emojis or images from storybooks.
3. Journaling or drawing feelings
Invite students to draw or write about how they felt during a particular moment in their day. This builds the connection between emotions and reflection.
4. Emotions charades
Have children act out different feelings while others guess. This is a fun and non-threatening way to explore new words and behaviors associated with emotions.
Tools that help kids express emotions
Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart offers a full toolkit of emotional regulation strategies. These tools help children:
- Pause before reacting
- Recognize how their body feels during strong emotions
- Use words to express themselves clearly
- Choose actions that match their values
As one of our Elementary SEL curricula, these tools support students in developing not just emotional awareness—but emotional wisdom.
To support this learning at home or school, explore our guide on how to express your feelings in words, which provides more insight into translating emotion into language.
Encouraging children to name their feelings out loud
One of the most powerful ways to normalize emotional expression is to model it. Adults can help by naming their own emotions in real time, such as:
- “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”
- “I’m excited about our project today—it’s something I really enjoy.”
This shows children that emotions are normal and manageable—and that there’s no shame in having or naming them.
Naming your emotions is the first step to managing them
Children don’t always know what they’re feeling—but they do feel it. Giving them the language to say, “I’m disappointed” instead of acting out allows them to move through their emotions with more clarity and confidence.
By consistently practicing and modeling this skill, we help children become more attuned to their inner world and more empathetic toward others. That’s the foundation of strong relationships, successful learning, and healthy development.
When students can name their feelings, they’re one step closer to managing them.
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In a world where perfection is often glorified, helping kids learn from mistakes can be a radical act of growth. But mistakes aren’t something to be feared—they’re powerful tools that support resilience, encourage self-awareness, and nurture confidence. By shifting the narrative from shame to learning, educators and parents can help children view their missteps as opportunities rather than failures.
In this article, we’ll explore the benefits of learning from mistakes, offer strategies to guide children through error-based learning, and link to powerful tools and Elementary SEL curriculum like Tools of the Heart and Planet Responsibility. All of which supports social emotional learning and builds stronger, more reflective students.
Why mistakes make you stronger
Children often associate mistakes with punishment or embarrassment. But when adults model a healthy response to errors, children begin to understand that mistakes help us grow. Learning to recover from a misstep builds grit, perseverance, and emotional regulation—all traits that are critical to a child’s long-term success.
When students are taught that learning from your mistakes is not just acceptable but essential, they are more likely to take intellectual risks, engage in new challenges, and persevere through setbacks. Some of the most impactful learning occurs in the moments after a mistake is made.
The brain science behind learning from mistakes
Neuroscience research confirms that mistakes and learning go hand in hand. When a child makes an error and reflects on it, new neural pathways form. This means the brain is literally growing and adapting.
By creating space for discussion around what went wrong—and what could be done differently—teachers and caregivers help children take ownership of their growth. This builds not only academic skills but also emotional maturity.
Teaching kids that mistakes are part of the process
Here are a few ways educators and caregivers can encourage children to embrace the learning process:
- Normalize mistakes: Share examples from your own life. Let students know it’s okay not to get it right the first time.
- Celebrate effort: Acknowledge hard work and progress instead of only focusing on correct answers.
- Reflect together: Ask reflective questions like, “What did you learn from that experience?” or “What would you do differently next time?”
- Use growth-minded language: Replace “I can’t” with “I can’t yet.” Help students build the belief that their abilities can improve over time.
- Incorporate SEL tools: Programs like Tools of the Heart offer activities that teach kids to pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully when challenges arise.
Activities that support learning from past mistakes
Hands-on learning is one of the best ways to help kids internalize new concepts. Consider trying the following mistakes and learning activities in your classroom or home:
- “Try again” stations: Create a station with puzzles, math problems, or creative writing prompts that encourage multiple attempts.
- Story swap: Invite students to share stories about a time they made a mistake and what they learned from it.
- Growth wall: Dedicate a section of the classroom to notes that say, “I used to struggle with ___, but now I can ___.”
- Responsibility circles: Use Planet Responsibility to explore how actions affect others and how we can take accountability with kindness and intention.
Benefits of making mistakes in a classroom setting
When classrooms embrace mistakes as part of the learning process, they become places where vulnerability is met with empathy—not criticism. Students are more likely to raise their hands, share ideas, and support one another when the fear of failure is removed.
Some benefits of this approach include:
- Increased confidence: Students who are not afraid to fail are more confident trying again.
- Stronger collaboration: Kids learn how to give and receive feedback respectfully.
- More creative problem-solving: When there’s no “perfect” answer, children learn to think outside the box.
- Deeper emotional intelligence: Understanding how to recover from mistakes supports empathy, resilience, and reflective thinking.
How do you learn from mistakes?
Learning from mistakes is a skill that can—and should—be taught. Adults play a crucial role in guiding children toward a mindset that sees errors as learning tools.
Here’s how to reinforce this:
- Model it: When you make a mistake, name it. Then talk through what you’re doing to make it right.
- Stay curious: Ask open-ended questions that help children dig into the “why” behind their choices.
- Practice forgiveness: Show children that making amends is a normal part of being human.
- Keep trying: Help students reflect on how mistakes led to new strategies, ideas, or understandings.
Mistakes aren’t a sign of weakness—they’re evidence that learning is taking place.
Making mistakes and learning from them builds resilience
Building resilience starts with helping students understand that making mistakes and learning from them is a lifelong process. Each stumble is a stepping stone toward growth. Whether it’s an academic error, a social misunderstanding, or a forgotten responsibility, students gain emotional strength when they are given the space to process and learn.
Pairing this process with SEL tools such as the Elementary SEL curriculum, which reinforces self-awareness and self-management, creates lasting change in how students navigate their world.
Teaching responsibility and reflection with SEL
Programs like Planet Responsibility and Tools of the Heart give students the vocabulary and structure they need to process mistakes thoughtfully. When embedded into classroom culture, these tools help students pause, reflect, repair, and move forward.
Additionally, Soul Shoppe’s social emotional learning programs encourage growth from the inside out, teaching students not just to process what they did wrong, but how they can make it right.
Turning mistakes into powerful teachers
We all make mistakes. What matters most is what we do next.
By shifting the focus from punishment to possibility, adults can help children grow into confident, capable, and compassionate learners. Whether it’s a misspelled word, a conflict with a friend, or a poor decision made in frustration, each mistake carries with it the chance to try again.
Let’s help students embrace their errors and see them for what they really are: some of the greatest teachers they’ll ever have.
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As more of our children’s social lives unfold in digital spaces—text threads, classroom platforms, gaming apps, and social media—the need for online empathy is more urgent than ever. The same skills we teach face-to-face—kindness, perspective-taking, and emotional awareness—need to carry over to online spaces.
But how do we teach compassion and connection when body language, tone, and real-time reactions are often missing? This article explores practical strategies to help children bridge the gap between real-world and digital interactions and offers tools to support teaching empathy in every environment.
Why Online Empathy Matters
The internet gives kids incredible opportunities to connect, learn, and express themselves—but without guidance, it can also become a space for disconnection, miscommunication, or harm. Practicing empathy online is about more than being “nice.” It’s about teaching children how to consider other people’s experiences, recognize emotional cues, and respond with care, even from behind a screen.
Empathy online means slowing down before hitting “send,” reading between the lines, and pausing to ask: How might my words affect someone else?
That kind of reflective behavior doesn’t always come naturally, but it can be learned.
What Is Online Empathy?
Online empathy is the ability to understand and be sensitive to the emotions and experiences of others in digital interactions. Whether replying to a friend’s comment or engaging in a group project online, children who develop this skill are more likely to foster healthy digital relationships.
While face-to-face empathy often relies on facial expressions and body language, online empathy asks children to tune in more intentionally to written tone, timing, and context. Teaching these skills helps kids avoid misunderstandings, cyberbullying, or emotional withdrawal from peers.
Building Online Empathy in Kids
Here are simple ways to teach empathy in kids that extend into their digital lives:
1. Make Emotions Visible
Online, emotions can be easily misinterpreted. Encourage students to use words to express how they feel clearly. Phrases like “I felt hurt when…” or “I’m really excited about…” create space for open and respectful conversation.
Use the Feelings Poster as a tool for helping kids build emotional language that can be used offline and online.
2. Model Empathy Yourself
Whether you’re responding to an email or sharing feedback in a virtual classroom, show what it means to respond with compassion. Name the feeling before correcting the behavior. Validate the child’s experience even when setting boundaries.
Modeling is the most powerful empathy training we can offer.
3. Practice Digital Role-Playing
Explore online empathy scenarios by acting out digital conversations with your students. What happens when someone is left out of a group chat? How might you respond to a classmate who shares a tough experience in a forum?
These exercises function like an online empathy map, helping students consider multiple perspectives and possible reactions before engaging.
Teaching Empathy Through Soul Shoppe Tools
Soul Shoppe’s programs offer interactive ways to help children explore empathy, both in the classroom and beyond:
- Tools of the Heart: This SEL curriculum includes emotional regulation practices that prepare kids to manage reactions before responding online.
- Respect Differences: This curriculum teaches inclusion and understanding—key foundations for online and offline respect.
These tools give children the foundation to not just know what empathy is, but live it out.
Teaching Compassion in the Classroom and Online
Whether in person or online, teaching compassion to a child begins with naming what we see and feel. Here are some classroom activities that can build empathy across environments:
- Empathy circles: Invite students to share how they’d feel in different scenarios, including online ones.
- Gratitude emails or messages: Encourage students to send a kind note to someone in their class or family.
- Digital kindness walls: Use a shared space (like a Jamboard or classroom bulletin) where kids can write affirmations or supportive messages.
Games and resources like online empathy games can help reinforce positive digital behavior in fun and interactive ways.
When Does Empathy Fully Develop?
While studies show that empathy in children begins in early childhood, it continues developing into adolescence. Kids may show varying levels of emotional awareness and empathy depending on age, temperament, and experience.
This is why consistency matters. Whether you’re guiding a second grader through an argument on a classroom iPad or helping a fifth grader understand sarcasm in a text, every moment is a chance to build stronger empathy muscles.
If you’re wondering how to measure growth, tools like the child empathy test or journaling exercises can help assess how students are recognizing and responding to others’ emotions over time.
Supporting All Students—Not Forcing Extroversion
Keep in mind: not every student will express empathy in the same way. Quiet students may internalize more. Neurodiverse learners may struggle with social cues. That’s okay.
By using strategies from social emotional learning, teachers can differentiate their approach and help every child grow at their own pace. What matters most is that children feel safe, seen, and supported as they learn to care for themselves and each other.
Empathy Is a Skill, Not a Trait
Some people think you’re either born empathetic or not, but the truth is, empathy is a skill that grows with practice. That’s especially true for kids navigating digital spaces, where emotional nuance can be hard to spot.
By teaching online empathy in the same intentional way we teach reading or math, we help kids become better digital citizens and better human beings.
It starts with small moments: pausing to think before posting, offering support instead of judgment, listening deeply—even across a screen.
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Every child experiences big emotions—those moments when feelings become so intense they feel overwhelming. These experiences are part of growing up, and they’re not something to “fix” or “avoid.” Instead, they’re opportunities for growth. With the right tools, guidance, and emotional support, children can learn how to process big emotions in healthy ways, transforming those tough moments into powerful learning experiences.
This article explores calming strategies, emotional processing techniques, and practical ways adults can support children when those big feelings surface.
Understanding Big Emotions in Children
Big emotions might include frustration, fear, sadness, excitement, anger, or joy. While emotions are a natural part of life, it’s often the intensity or expression of these feelings that can seem difficult to manage, for both kids and the adults supporting them.
It’s helpful to distinguish between feelings and emotions. Feelings are our conscious experiences of emotional states, while emotions are instinctive responses that arise before we even know what’s happening. Teaching children about emotions gives them the vocabulary to name what’s happening inside them. This is the first step toward managing those responses.
Teaching children about emotions helps them pause and reflect rather than react. Through social emotional learning (SEL), children begin to understand the big 5 emotions—joy, sadness, anger, fear, and love—and how these show up in their bodies and behaviors.
Why Emotional Processing Matters
When children don’t have the tools to process their emotions, they may act out, withdraw, or struggle to focus. This doesn’t mean they’re “misbehaving.” It means their emotions are too big for them to manage alone.
Supporting a child unable to control emotions starts with empathy. Instead of rushing to correct behavior, adults can get curious: What might this child be feeling? What need is going unmet?
Managing emotions for elementary students is about creating emotional safety. Kids are more likely to open up when they feel heard, not judged.
Teaching Kids to Recognize and Name Their Emotions
One of the most powerful things adults can do is help children recognize and name what they’re feeling. This skill—called emotional literacy—is foundational to self-regulation.
Some tools and resources that support this include:
- The Feelings Poster – a visual that helps students name their emotions with words instead of behaviors.
- The Tools of the Heart – Soul Shoppe’s core emotional regulation curriculum is designed for elementary school students.
- The Elementary SEL curriculum – Multiple courses that offer step-by-step guidance to teach emotional awareness, empathy, and healthy expression of feelings, and how to interact with the world around them.
Calming Strategies for Big Emotions
Every child is unique, so it helps to offer a variety of calming strategies. When big emotions rise, here are several activities that can support self-regulation:
1. Movement Breaks
Simple stretches or jumping jacks help shift energy and release tension. Movement activates the body in a way that can support emotional release without words.
2. Breathing Exercises
Teaching mindful breathing gives children a tool they can access anytime. Try the “Smell the flower, blow out the candle” method or introduce them to Soul Shoppe’s Empty Balloon exercise.
3. Quiet Corners or Sensory Spaces
Create a calm-down space with soft seating, fidget tools, sensory bottles, or coloring materials. These managing feelings and behavior activities help kids process without pressure. To learn more about creating a peace corner, click here.
4. Journaling or Drawing
Some kids may prefer to write or draw what they’re feeling rather than speak it aloud. Journals or drawing sheets provide a safe outlet for self-expression.
5. Guided Visualization or Music
Listening to calming sounds or participating in a short visualization exercise can help students re-center during emotionally heavy moments.
When Big Emotions Disrupt the Classroom
Big emotions don’t always wait for the “right time” to show up. A child may experience a meltdown in the middle of math or burst into tears during lunch. Instead of seeing this as a problem, shift the perspective to an opportunity for connection.
What teachers can do:
- Pause and make space for the emotion.
- Validate what the student might be feeling: “It looks like you’re feeling really frustrated right now.”
- Offer choices: “Would you like to take a few breaths or visit the peace corner?”
- Reconnect later when the child is regulated.
These approaches model emotional intelligence and show students that big feelings are okay and manageable.
Integrating SEL Throughout the School Day
Supporting big emotions isn’t just about one-off interventions. The most lasting impact comes from integrating social emotional learning across the school day.
Here are a few ideas:
- Start the day with a morning meeting to check in on feelings.
- Practice calming techniques as a class before big transitions.
- Use storytime to explore emotional scenarios and reflect on them together.
- Celebrate emotional growth and personal wins, not just academic success.
Creating these habits sends a powerful message: emotions belong in the classroom, and kids are safe to be themselves.
When to Get Extra Support
While all kids experience big emotions, some may need additional support to regulate. If a student seems persistently overwhelmed, it may be helpful to involve a school counselor or refer families to managing emotions resources that align with SEL values.
What’s most important is that no child feels alone in what they’re feeling.
Supporting Adults, Too
Teaching SEL isn’t just for kids—it starts with the adults. If you’re a teacher, caregiver, or school leader, remember that your calm presence makes a big difference.
Tools like Tools of the Heart and other Elementary SEL curricula include guidance, not only for students but for the adults helping them navigate big feelings.
Emotions as Messengers, Not Enemies
The goal of teaching children about emotions isn’t to get rid of the tough ones. It’s to create space for them—to honor their messages and teach students how to respond with care.
When we treat big emotions as something to listen to, not something to fear, we empower kids to grow into emotionally strong, compassionate people.
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