This month, we’re celebrating Kirstin
Lenane, Counselor and Peacemaker
Liaison at Westlake Elementary.
Many schools already have some excellent anti-bullying and community-building practices, but these can be overly compartmentalized, occurring only at specific times of day. Emotions are happening all the time!
Here are some things educators can do to fill the gaps:
- Create multiple opportunities for class meetings or class moments where everyone has a voice and everyone gets to be seen.
- Create school structures so that adults at our schools are easily available for young people, where they have the time and the emotional space to give young people their full attention and empathy.
- Create time for teachers and adults at school to reflect, to notice if kids are being excluded and to work to create inclusion throughout the day.
- Build the critical skills of empathy and community within our kids.
- Model empathy and self-management skills. Kids learn from the example of the adults around them.
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At some point in our childhoods, most of us have been bullied. If not bullied ourselves, we’ve witnessed someone else getting bullied. Some of us have even been the bully. So how can we say “there’s no such thing as a bully”? It’s a radical proposition, and it’s one of the core assumptions we make at Soul Shoppe.
Over the years, we’ve had many opportunities to interact with children who were identified as bullies. When we were able to get beneath the behavior, to really connect with them, we saw every time that there was a need not getting met. Something was going on – a parent was ill, parents were divorcing, violence in the environment – there was a lack of safety and security or some overwhelming event. Children who have to navigate these situations may feel isolated, misunderstood, afraid and lonely. The bullying behavior meets a small piece of their need, even if it’s in a negative way. They get attention. They have power. Their actions matter. Or maybe it just feels good to have someone else feel afraid and upset too.
When we look underneath any bullying situation, there is always a young person with big feelings and they don’t know what else to do. They have emotions they don’t know how to manage. Bullying is a symptom of a bigger problem, never the root of the problem. And those big emotions didn’t start with them.
There’s no such thing as a bully. There is only a kid who is hurting and needs support. When we label a child a “bully,” we make their behavior define who they are. We start to look at and interact with them as if THEY are the problem, instead of addressing the behavior and where it’s really coming from. Changing how we view the behavior is one of the ways we can stop bullying at its roots. We can give kids tools, time and space to manage their emotions. We can show them how to listen to and have empathy for one another.
Our Free To Be assembly is a great way to introduce these practices into schools. Educators who want to deepen their anti-bullying and community-building practices can get a few ideas here. And finally, check out Soul Shoppe founder vicki! Abadesco’s Tedx Talk to find out what happened when one class “bully” was given a chance to be heard.
SOUL SHOPPE IS HIRING!
Earn $200/session while making an impact in the lives of parents and their kids.
Soul Shoppe is an award-winning Oakland-based program that delivers live workshops and trainings to elementary schools throughout the Bay Area and beyond. Our in-school programs focus on developing students’ social-emotional skills, bullying prevention strategies and peace-building tools. Our Parent Nights bring the fundamentals of our programs empowering parents with more empathy and better communication skills. We are looking to fill Parent Night facilitator/trainer positions for the 2018-19 school year.
Parent Night Workshop Facilitator Job Description
● PN trainers facilitate 60-90 minute sessions teaching core communication and empathy skills for children aged 5-12. Groups range from 20 – 100.
● PN trainers need to learn the script/flow for the evening, basics of Soul Shoppe programs/core skills, and must be able to engage large audiences with warmth, compassion and fun!
● Teaching, training, educational and/or performance experience a plus
● Must have a car and be able to travel to different schools sites in the morning or evening.
● Must be available to train for up to 10 hours in August 2018 (we’ll create training based on your availability) and attend group audition/interview on August 14th from 6-8:30pm.
All Soul Shoppe facilitators work part time, 1-2 trainings per week (Sept-May). The bulk of parent evenings happen September to December. We train facilitators thoroughly in August to prepare for the school year. Facilitators are assigned to specific schools based on school needs and location and have a special relationship with each school they serve throughout the Bay Area.
Learn more at http://www.soulshoppe.com/
Stand & Deliver (group interviews/auditions) Tuesday, August 14, 6pm-8:30pm at our office in Oakland.
NEXT STEPS: By Thursday, AUGUST 9, 2018 Send your resume and cover letter to: amy@soulshoppe.com
Include in cover letter:
1. Why this position speaks to you 2. Your experience with facilitating either communication skills or empathy building skills 3. Your experience with elementary school parents and kids
