Soul Shoppe's work is made possible by donors and partners who care deeply about the young people in their communities! We can't do this work without you. Support our work in classrooms and on playgrounds across the nation by donating here.
Summertime is here and we realize it’s a different kind of summer. There is a constant urgency in our world. We feel concern and outrage for children and families. We see what happens when government policy lacks compassion. For some Americans, these policies and practices are all too familiar. For others, it’s an awakening. Our hearts ache knowing that people who need our help are instead treated with no regard for their basic humanity. We know that the damage being done to parents and children is devastating. We are inspired by the protests and creative acts of kindness and resistance from across the country. The practices of empathy and compassion are more important than ever, not only in our legislative policies, but in all our circumstances.
It’s important for us to continue to use our voices and the power we have in order to build the communities we want to see. At the same time, we hope that during this summer you find some relief from the pressures of our world. These two ideas can co-exist and thrive together.
We founded Soul Shoppe in 2000 with the core commitment to change school culture through connection and curiosity, teaching empathy and compassion skills in order to eliminate bullying at its roots. The organization has touched the lives of over half a million children through its workshops and Peacemaker program. We know the work that we do is the foundation for deep change in our culture and extends well beyond the classroom.
Summer Resources for Parents
We know that being a parent can be challenging under the best of circumstances. Circumstances are clearly not at their best right now. Where do you go for help? This month, we’re offering some resources to support parents and the adults who want to stand with the youth in their lives. We aren’t affiliated with these organizations and don’t receive anything in return. We’re sharing these links because we think they are potentially useful. Some resources are directly relevant to current events while others suggest ways to build empathy, compassion and listening. And some resources are simply about fun activities to do together, because joy is the foundation from which we can act.
Over the next 8 weeks, Soul Shoppe is partnering with DropLabels.org to help raise awareness about the impact that labeling has on people. Every week, DropLabels.org will post a video with a Soul Shoppe staffer who tells their own story about labels. Personal stories like the ones you’ll hear in the coming weeks are an integral part of Soul Shoppe workshops.
Telling your story is important. It can help start a conversation or even start a process of healing. Someone hearing your story might be inspired to speak up, too. Check out this week’s story here.
Got Soul Shoppe?
Are you thinking about bringing Soul Shoppe’s award winning programs to your school? Get in touch! Contact us for more information or to book for the 2018-19 school year. Find out what others have to say about the impact our programs have had.
We made it to June, and the end of another school year is here! In these busy days before we launch into summer, there seems to be an endless list of work to be done, meetings and events to attend, and people wanting to have important conversations. When we are pressed for time, our communication may not be at its best. Miscommunications and misunderstandings happen. We move so fast that it’s a challenge to think about what we are feeling and what we really need from others. It’s even a bigger challenge to take the time express these thoughts and feelings to someone to get clarification and, ultimately, connection.
At Soul Shoppe we use a tool to help us express our feelings and needs in a way that helps us keep our relationships healthy. It supports us to be heard so there can be more understanding with the people in our lives. Too often we don’t take the time to identify the words needed to share our true feelings about an experience. That can lead to resentment, unexpressed hurt, sadness or anger — and these feelings create a wall of separation between ourselves and the people we care about.
Welcome to the I-Message. The I-Message tool consists of four steps, each with its own small risk, where you have to get a little bit vulnerable and do things slightly differently in order to build stronger connections –both to ourselves and to others.
I feel … (usually a feeling word)
When …
I need … (what do YOU really need?)
Will you please …
And here’s how it might work in real life. We recently talked with a person who was having some challenging feelings with their spouse. They were upset that their spouse was sitting on the couch doing nothing. Initially, what they wanted to say was, “Will you get off the couch?!?” in a voice filled with attitude and accusation. We asked this person to talk more about what they were really feeling and what they needed, and they shared that they wanted connection. With that in mind, they created this I-Message:
I feel lonely
WhenI don’t have connection and attention
I need some time with you
Will you please let me know when we can connect?
Imagine that request came to you. Would you be receptive to that message and open to building connection? Probably. Entering into this process is about taking responsibility for ourselves. When we own what we feel and ask for what we need, we empower ourselves without disempowering someone else. That’s so much better than getting surprised by what we are feeling and not getting what we need!
We invite you to try out the I-Message the next time you feel yourself in a reaction. Take a step back and pause to notice and name what you are feeling. What happened just before the feeling? What do you need now? Then put it in the frame of an I-Message and say it to someone. Notice the response you get and how connection opens up. Most of all, notice the difference you feel within yourself. Every time we take the time to get in touch with our own feelings and have the courage to voice our needs, we take a step closer to creating the connected, loving relationships we want in our lives.
Spotlight on a Champion
Got Soul Shoppe?
Scheduling Now for the 2018-19 School Year
Are you thinking about bringing Soul Shoppe’s award winning programs to your school? Get in touch! Contact us for more information or to book for the 2018-19 school year. Find out what others have to say about the impact our programs have had.
We were featured in Alameda Magazine for our work with Frank Otis!
Here’s a snippet of the article:
“On a recent Wednesday morning at Alameda’s Frank Otis Elementary, animated fourth-graders were seemingly spellbound by what they were learning. Many of them were also grinning ear to ear or laughing. The students were having so much fun that you’d hardly imagine that the lesson of the day was a topic many adults often find a bit painful and daunting to talking about: how to cope with the very messy feelings of anger, irritation, annoyance, and frustration that can cause you to blow up and lash out.
But instead of solemn or embarrassed faces, it was all joy and excitement as the guest speaker, Anthony Jackson, a facilitator for the Soul Shoppe program, taught kids to recognize their own emotions and their impact on others. He coached students on how to wrestle with the build-up of emotions that can overwhelm kids, from sadness and anger to irritation and loneliness, comparing them to a balloon that could burst if you don’t pay attention to what’s inside.
‘The balloon is a place inside of us where we put our feelings we don’t know what to do with,’ Jackson explained. ‘They are not bad or wrong feelings. They are just feelings. And if we don’t take care of them, they come out on someone else.’ ”
