What to Do When Big Emotions Take Over

Every child experiences big emotions—those moments when feelings become so intense they feel overwhelming. These experiences are part of growing up, and they’re not something to “fix” or “avoid.” Instead, they’re opportunities for growth. With the right tools, guidance, and emotional support, children can learn how to process big emotions in healthy ways, transforming those tough moments into powerful learning experiences.

This article explores calming strategies, emotional processing techniques, and practical ways adults can support children when those big feelings surface.

 

Understanding Big Emotions in Children

Big emotions might include frustration, fear, sadness, excitement, anger, or joy. While emotions are a natural part of life, it’s often the intensity or expression of these feelings that can seem difficult to manage, for both kids and the adults supporting them.

It’s helpful to distinguish between feelings and emotions. Feelings are our conscious experiences of emotional states, while emotions are instinctive responses that arise before we even know what’s happening. Teaching children about emotions gives them the vocabulary to name what’s happening inside them. This is the first step toward managing those responses.

Teaching children about emotions helps them pause and reflect rather than react. Through social emotional learning (SEL), children begin to understand the big 5 emotions—joy, sadness, anger, fear, and love—and how these show up in their bodies and behaviors.

 

Why Emotional Processing Matters

When children don’t have the tools to process their emotions, they may act out, withdraw, or struggle to focus. This doesn’t mean they’re “misbehaving.” It means their emotions are too big for them to manage alone.

Supporting a child unable to control emotions starts with empathy. Instead of rushing to correct behavior, adults can get curious: What might this child be feeling? What need is going unmet?

Managing emotions for elementary students is about creating emotional safety. Kids are more likely to open up when they feel heard, not judged.

 

Teaching Kids to Recognize and Name Their Emotions

One of the most powerful things adults can do is help children recognize and name what they’re feeling. This skill—called emotional literacy—is foundational to self-regulation.

Some tools and resources that support this include:

• The Feelings Poster – a visual that helps students name their emotions with words instead of behaviors.
• The Tools of the Heart – Soul Shoppe’s core emotional regulation curriculum is designed for elementary school students.
• The Elementary SEL curriculum – Multiple courses that offer step-by-step guidance to teach emotional awareness, empathy, and healthy expression of feelings, and how to interact with the world around them.

 

Calming Strategies for Big Emotions

Every child is unique, so it helps to offer a variety of calming strategies. When big emotions rise, here are several activities that can support self-regulation:

1. Movement Breaks

Simple stretches or jumping jacks help shift energy and release tension. Movement activates the body in a way that can support emotional release without words.

2. Breathing Exercises

Teaching mindful breathing gives children a tool they can access anytime. Try the “Smell the flower, blow out the candle” method or introduce them to Soul Shoppe’s Empty Balloon exercise.

3. Quiet Corners or Sensory Spaces

Create a calm-down space with soft seating, fidget tools, sensory bottles, or coloring materials. These managing feelings and behavior activities help kids process without pressure. To learn more about creating a peace corner, click here.

4. Journaling or Drawing

Some kids may prefer to write or draw what they’re feeling rather than speak it aloud. Journals or drawing sheets provide a safe outlet for self-expression.

5. Guided Visualization or Music

Listening to calming sounds or participating in a short visualization exercise can help students re-center during emotionally heavy moments.

 

When Big Emotions Disrupt the Classroom

Big emotions don’t always wait for the “right time” to show up. A child may experience a meltdown in the middle of math or burst into tears during lunch. Instead of seeing this as a problem, shift the perspective to an opportunity for connection.

What teachers can do:

• Pause and make space for the emotion.
• Validate what the student might be feeling: “It looks like you’re feeling really frustrated right now.”
• Offer choices: “Would you like to take a few breaths or visit the peace corner?”
• Reconnect later when the child is regulated.

These approaches model emotional intelligence and show students that big feelings are okay and manageable.

 

Integrating SEL Throughout the School Day

Supporting big emotions isn’t just about one-off interventions. The most lasting impact comes from integrating social emotional learning across the school day.

Here are a few ideas:

• Start the day with a morning meeting to check in on feelings.
• Practice calming techniques as a class before big transitions.
• Use storytime to explore emotional scenarios and reflect on them together.
• Celebrate emotional growth and personal wins, not just academic success.

Creating these habits sends a powerful message: emotions belong in the classroom, and kids are safe to be themselves.

 

When to Get Extra Support

While all kids experience big emotions, some may need additional support to regulate. If a student seems persistently overwhelmed, it may be helpful to involve a school counselor or refer families to managing emotions resources that align with SEL values.

What’s most important is that no child feels alone in what they’re feeling.

 

Supporting Adults, Too

Teaching SEL isn’t just for kids—it starts with the adults. If you’re a teacher, caregiver, or school leader, remember that your calm presence makes a big difference.

Tools like Tools of the Heart and other Elementary SEL curricula include guidance, not only for students but for the adults helping them navigate big feelings.

 

Emotions as Messengers, Not Enemies

The goal of teaching children about emotions isn’t to get rid of the tough ones. It’s to create space for them—to honor their messages and teach students how to respond with care.

When we treat big emotions as something to listen to, not something to fear, we empower kids to grow into emotionally strong, compassionate people.