How to Teach Kids to Include Others Even When It’s Hard
In every classroom, kids are learning more than math and reading. They’re learning how to be in community with others—how to take turns, share space, speak up, and sometimes, how to reach out even when it’s uncomfortable.
One of the most meaningful social-emotional lessons we can teach is how to include others, not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s hard. Whether students are navigating friendship cliques, peer pressure, or just unfamiliarity, they need tools and support to practice compassion and inclusion with courage.
In this article, we’ll explore how to build an inclusive classroom environment, how to talk about the importance of including others, and how to help students build the emotional resilience to extend kindness, even in moments of tension or discomfort.
Why Inclusion Isn’t Always Easy—for Adults or Kids
When we talk about inclusion, it’s important to name the reality: kids sometimes struggle to include others because they’re trying to figure out where they belong.
Exclusion might show up as:
- Ignoring someone different
- Leaving classmates out of games or group work
- Going along with a clique to avoid being excluded themselves
These behaviors don’t mean kids are unkind. They often mean they’re navigating their uncertainty and doing their best to fit in. That’s why creating inclusive cultures in classrooms means teaching not just the what of inclusion, but the how and the why.
What Is an Inclusive Learning Environment?
An inclusive learning environment is a space where every student feels valued, safe, and supported, regardless of their background, ability, identity, or experience. In these spaces:
- Differences are celebrated, not tolerated
- Students are taught to speak up for one another, not over one another
- Teachers model inclusive practices in how they speak, lead, and guide conflict
At Soul Shoppe, our work is rooted in inclusive classroom strategies that give children the language and tools to choose connection over division.
Values-Based Teaching: Including Others Starts from Within
When it comes to helping kids include others, it’s not just about changing behavior. It’s about growing character. That’s why we teach from a values-based approach—centering around empathy, responsibility, and kindness.
A few simple ways to root inclusion in your classroom values:
- Create a class agreement together that includes how you treat people who feel left out
- Talk openly about fairness, friendship, and listening across differences
- Share stories (real or fictional) where someone chose to include others, and what happened as a result
This builds an inclusive culture in schools from the inside out—not by rules, but by relationships.
Inclusive Strategies in the Classroom That Make a Difference
Ready to make it real for students? These inclusive strategies in the classroom are powerful starting points.
1. Practice Circle Time Conversations About Inclusion
Use open-ended questions like:
- “When have you felt left out? How did it feel?”
- “What’s something kind someone did for you that made you feel included?”
- “What can we do when we see someone sitting alone or being left out?”
This opens the door for vulnerability and empathy-building.
2. Model and Celebrate Moments of Inclusion
When you see students including others, name it out loud:
- “I noticed you invited her into your group. That shows kindness and leadership.”
- “You let him take a turn even though you didn’t know him well—that’s what community looks like.”
Naming these actions reinforces an inclusive classroom environment through affirmation, not correction.
3. Create Safe Ways for Kids to Speak Up
Sometimes, including others means standing up to a friend. Give students tools to navigate this through role-play and scripts like:
- “Let’s make room for them, too.”
- “I think we should all get a turn.”
- “I feel better when we don’t leave people out.”
This fosters peer-led inclusion and challenges peer pressure in healthy ways.
Activities to Help Kids Include Others
Try these simple classroom culture-building activities that focus on connection and collaboration:
- Partner Switch Ups: Regularly rotate seating or group work so students practice engaging with different classmates
- Compliment Chains: Pass a compliment from one student to the next, encouraging noticing and naming others’ strengths
- “Who’s Not Here Yet?” Game: In group games or class activities, ask students to scan the room and invite anyone not yet included
Each of these is a small but meaningful way to teach what it means to be part of a shared community.
Inclusion Is Emotional Work—SEL Helps Guide the Way
Choosing to include someone can take courage. That’s where social emotional learning makes the biggest impact. When students learn how to name their feelings, navigate discomfort, and care about others, inclusion becomes more than a rule—it becomes a natural response.
Programs like Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart teach emotional awareness and give students language for conflict, empathy, and communication. These tools create space for even the hardest conversations, like when a student feels left out or when a group realizes they have excluded someone unintentionally.
Creating the Culture, Every Day
Inclusion doesn’t happen in one lesson. It’s built day by day, in classroom routines, hallway greetings, partner projects, and recess choices.
When we teach kids how to include others—even when it’s uncomfortable—we’re showing them how to live their values. How to be brave and kind at the same time. How to shape a world that makes room for everyone.
And that starts with us.
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