Naming Feelings: Helping Kids Find the Words They Need
Imagine being overwhelmed, frustrated, or sad—but not having the words to say why. For many children, this is a daily reality. Learning to name feelings is one of the most important steps in helping kids build emotional awareness and self-regulation. When kids can name their emotions, they begin to understand them—and that opens the door to emotional growth, empathy, and healthy communication.
In this article, we’ll explore the importance of naming feelings, offer strategies and activities to build emotional vocabulary, and connect you with resources like our Feelings Poster, Tools of the Heart program, and other Elementary SEL curricula, which support social emotional learning in the classroom and beyond.
Why naming feelings matters
Emotions are part of every experience—but children don’t always know how to express them. Without words, emotions can show up as outbursts, withdrawal, or challenging behavior. But when we support kids in naming their emotions, we help them feel seen, heard, and empowered to take the next step—whether that’s calming down, asking for help, or making amends.
Helping children name the feeling is not about labeling or limiting them—it’s about shining a light on what’s happening inside so they can work with it instead of feeling controlled by it.
Emotional vocabulary and self-regulation
Research shows that children with a stronger emotional vocabulary are better able to regulate their behavior, resolve conflicts, and navigate social situations. Knowing whether they feel “disappointed” instead of just “mad,” or “embarrassed” instead of “sad,” gives kids more specific insight into their needs.
This process—sometimes called “name it to tame it”—helps activate the thinking part of the brain and reduces the overwhelm that can accompany big emotions.
Start with a simple list of emotions
Children need exposure to a wide range of emotional vocabulary beyond happy, sad, and mad. You can use a list of emotions or a visual like the Feelings Poster to introduce terms like:
- Frustrated
- Nervous
- Excited
- Confused
- Lonely
- Grateful
- Embarrassed
- Hopeful
- Calm
Over time, kids can expand their vocabulary and begin using more nuanced words that reflect what they’re feeling inside. It’s important to note the difference between feelings and emotions. Emotions can be unconscious or conscious, whereas feelings are the subjective experience of those emotions.
Activities that support naming emotions
Incorporating naming emotions activities into your classroom or home routine helps build emotional fluency naturally in engaging ways. Here are a few ideas:
1. Feelings check-in
Start each day by asking students to point to or name a feeling they’re experiencing. Use visuals like the Feelings Poster. This can especially help non-readers.
2. Name the emotion game
Create cards with different facial expressions or scenarios. Ask kids to name your emotions based on the context. You can even use emojis or images from storybooks.
3. Journaling or drawing feelings
Invite students to draw or write about how they felt during a particular moment in their day. This builds the connection between emotions and reflection.
4. Emotions charades
Have children act out different feelings while others guess. This is a fun and non-threatening way to explore new words and behaviors associated with emotions.
Tools that help kids express emotions
Soul Shoppe’s Tools of the Heart offers a full toolkit of emotional regulation strategies. These tools help children:
- Pause before reacting
- Recognize how their body feels during strong emotions
- Use words to express themselves clearly
- Choose actions that match their values
As one of our Elementary SEL curricula, these tools support students in developing not just emotional awareness—but emotional wisdom.
To support this learning at home or school, explore our guide on how to express your feelings in words, which provides more insight into translating emotion into language.
Encouraging children to name their feelings out loud
One of the most powerful ways to normalize emotional expression is to model it. Adults can help by naming their own emotions in real time, such as:
- “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”
- “I’m excited about our project today—it’s something I really enjoy.”
This shows children that emotions are normal and manageable—and that there’s no shame in having or naming them.
Naming your emotions is the first step to managing them
Children don’t always know what they’re feeling—but they do feel it. Giving them the language to say, “I’m disappointed” instead of acting out allows them to move through their emotions with more clarity and confidence.
By consistently practicing and modeling this skill, we help children become more attuned to their inner world and more empathetic toward others. That’s the foundation of strong relationships, successful learning, and healthy development.
When students can name their feelings, they’re one step closer to managing them.